Board 8 > Until Diablo Comes Back Online, It's YOUR Job To Entertain Me

(+) Yeah! (+)

Tell me a joke.


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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6803324/1/Doom

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http://firsthour.net/screenshots/suikoden-2/suikoden-2-luca-blight.JPG
The Cult of Personality.

What time is it when you go to the dentist?



TOOTH HURTY!

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http://i.imgur.com/PKIy7.gif

I love you, Chris.


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"Half of what he said was meant in a totally gay way and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

Holycrap I haven't seen Gadfly in years.

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darkx 3DS FC: 5241-2144-5671 (add me and pm me urs!)
http://i40.tinypic.com/mabj1t.gif

The end of days has brought him back in our hour of greatest need.

But yeah that Doom story should keep you busy for a good two hours or so.

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http://firsthour.net/screenshots/suikoden-2/suikoden-2-luca-blight.JPG
The Cult of Personality.

I work at a datacenter that houses an entire floor of Blizzard servers.

I bet they're having fun tonight.

it's vintage forums user horatioqhornblower, everybody

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snowy
first name katana, last name swordsworth. also middle name katana

also that wasn't a joke

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snowy
first name katana, last name swordsworth. also middle name katana

Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky? Can you say to a rainbow... "Hey, stop being a rainbow for a second"? No! Such is Horatio!


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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

Most of my time away from the forums was spent boning up on my late-90s SNL references, as you can see.


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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

oh my goodness

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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!

From: TheGadfly | #011
Most of my time away from the forums was spent boning up on my late-90s SNL references, as you can see.

i certainly can't think of many better ways to spend one's time

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snowy
first name katana, last name swordsworth. also middle name katana

still more productive than what Ive done

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Oh SuperNiceDog's doing it again dude.
SuperNiceDog, you ain't no pimp dude

It amuses me that people thought, still think, that I was Miaow. She was totally a person. If she were an alt, she was a damned impressive one and I would like to Shake hands with whomever had the skills to pull that off.

I fed the rumor that she was my alt for the same reason I have done literally everything I have done on this forum and in my life:

It amused me.

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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

http://vimeo.com/42106181

you're welcome

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http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/7461/bb4e.png

D3 servers are back up

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Tomato King of the World
http://img.imgcake.com/SgtSphynx/raydynaj.png

Don't confuse my fondness of clever phrasing for endorsement of fact. I do honestly believe Miaow was, and is, a real person. But if she were an alt, she was not one of mine. Shake is a capable man, I believe he could very well be up to 30% of you.

And I've been busy. Traveling. I work on cruise ships and married a Romanian woman.


I also grew a pretty fantastic moustache.

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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

I also grew a pretty fantastic moustache.

Excellent

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Oh SuperNiceDog's doing it again dude.
SuperNiceDog, you ain't no pimp dude

What do you specifically do for work on cruise ships?

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ziggie ziggie wop wop

Mostly I drink. I am what is called "Cruise Staff". I just have to drink and dance and socialize. I host game shows and perform in some lame acts. I play dodgeball and ping pong. My job is to make sure people have fun.

Mostly I drink.


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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower

Oh heyyyy

I remember Horatio.

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Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/5260/belikemommy.jpg

Okay, there was once this little kid named Johnny. His dad was really rich and nice. Johnny's second birthday was coming up, so his dad asked him what he wanted. He said, "Pingpong balls, daddy!" His dad was confused, but he nonetheless went out and bought a packet of three balls for his son. The big day came, and Johnny was delighted with his present of pingpong balls. He happily went upstairs with them. A little while later, his dad came up to check on him, but the balls were all gone. He asked Johnny what happened to him, but got only a blank toddler stare. Johnny was really happy, though, so he didn't think about it too much.

A year went by, and Johnny's dad again asked Johnny what he wanted. "Pingpong balls!" he said. "Are you sure?" "Yes, daddy! Pingpong balls!" The dad shrugged and went to the store, where he bought two sleeves this time. He figured Johnny could lose one and still have the other. Well, the same thing happened: Johnny was overjoyed, took the balls to his room, and they seemed to vanish. He was still pleased, though, so his dad sorta shrugged and didn't worry about it.

Well, this happened every year. Johnny's dad got him an increasing amount of pingpong balls every year, and they always disappeared mysteriously. He got him a whole wheelbarrowful at age 8.

Johnny was now almost 16, and his dad knew the drill by now. "You want pingpong balls, right?" "Duh, dad. Of course." "Well, normal teens want cars, so I'm getting you a car, too." "Sweet!" The big day came, and Johnny's dad led him out to the driveway, where this sweet red convertible was parked. And it was completely filled with -you guessed it- pingpong balls. "Wow, dad! Can I take it for a spin around the 'hood?" "Sure!" So Johnny drove off in ecstasy, and nobody was really surprised when he came home sans balls.

Well, Johnny was getting married to Janie. For a wedding gift, Johnny's dad gave them this HUUUUUGE estate. He airdropped pingpong balls on it until the entire place was waist-deep in 'em. He even built a few silos and filled them, too. All told, there were countless millions of pingpong balls.

The next day, Dad decided to drive out there to see if Johnny and Janie were okay (Johnny had a history of not getting along with girls...) He also was curious if the balls were still there. Well, he got there, and noticed that the balls were all gone, but the main thing he saw was an ambulance. Some paramedics were carrying Johnny out on a stretcher, and they told Dad that he'd fallen down the stairs and hit his head. And so, everyone rushed to the hospital, and Johnny went to the ER. After a few hours, the doctor brought Dad and Janie in to speak to him. "He's not doing so great," the doc said. "He might not survive the operation."

They went in, and talked for a bit. Finally, Dad said, "Son, there's just one more thing I want to know. What on Earth did you do with all those pingpong balls?"

Johnny looked at his father for a minute, then slowly rose to a sitting position with great difficulty. "Well, Dad..." he said. Then he died.

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Donny: Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
Walter: No, Donny. These men are cowards.

HORATIO

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XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.

I refuse to believe that 30% of us sell coats for a living.

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add the c and back away
iphonesience

What was the reason everyone thought Horatio was Miaow again?

Also, Shake sells scooters now.

scooters? he must have gotten a promotion.

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add the c and back away
iphonesience

He has his own company now, actually! IIRC, he posted a picture of his scooter shop during his last annual visit to the board. I should go look for it sometime.

damn you neon

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SuperNiceDog did a SuperNiceJob

"What was the reason everyone thought Horatio was Miaow again?"

I wanted them to. Mia knew that it amused me, so she fed the rumor from time to time as well.

Everyone assumed that she was an alt because she was female. Obviously women don't exist on the internet. And an intelligent female gamer who purported herself to be a lesbian? Everyone was doubtful. People guessed I was behind it, as I was GenuineFemalePoster before. GFP was much more my style. I like the uphill fight - giving you every superficial reason to doubt me possible and THEN trying to convince you I'm right. Some people believed in GFP, because I persuaded them into overlooking the glaringly obvious. Mia was more real than that. There was no perceivable endgame for Miaow. Her battle was more defensive than offensive, and I am not a defensive player. Shake could lead a double life like that, though. In the end, I believe Mia was a real gal.

A real clincher for a lot of people was when she admitted to having sort of a crush on me. Even though she was a lesbian and I have male genitalia, she said she was attracted to intelligence and confidence. And if there are three things I have ample amounts of, they're Intelligence, Confidence, and Male Genitalia.

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"Half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all."
HoratioQHornblower