Technically I think you've only got like a week left on it because I've been lazy but um...
Wigs - "I made a stupid gamble with Alec that cost me my testicles and my sig. Take away all my money and I could be a Mets owner."
Football - "I lost both of my testicles to Alec when my team couldn't come through in the clutch. I didn't realize that GameFAQs contests counted as sports playoffs."
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##Alec