Current Events > I have a final interview for a new job in 2 days

(+) Yeah! (+)

A little more money, and the job I'm at is a sinking ship so escaping that is important. AMA I guess?

What's your prepared answer for when they ask "Do you have any questions for us?"

Here are my tips for job interviews:

1. Show up fashionably late, like 30 minutes late, to make sure they remember you.
2. Bring your pet goldfish as your emotional support animal.
3. Begin every answer with 'Well, in my previous life as a pirate...'
4. Insist on conducting the interview in interpretive dance.
5. Ask the interviewer to play a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine your salary.
6. Show them your collection of toenail clippings as a testament to your attention to detail.
7. Request to do the interview via smoke signals.
8. Continuously interrupt the interviewer with dramatic monologues about your love for cheese.

UnfairRepresent posted...

What's your prepared answer for when they ask "Do you have any questions for us?"

"Can you tell me about the characteristics of someone who has succeeded and someone who has struggled at *company name*?"

warlock7735 posted...

"Can you tell me about the characteristics of someone who has succeeded and someone who has struggled at *company name*?"

Good one. I always ask how many interviewees I'm up against and follow it up with asking how the interviewer thinks it went and how I compare.

You're in casual clothes and get covered in paint, then locked outside of your home like in Persuit of Happyness.

The interview is in minutes, if you don't head right there, you'll be late.

What do you do?

UnfairRepresent posted...

You're in casual clothes and get covered in paint, then locked outside of your home like in Persuit of Happyness.

The interview is in minutes, if you don't head right there, you'll be late.

What do you do?

Well it's a remote interview, so I call in on my phone and crack a joke about my life being a little hectic these last ten minutes.

Remember if they ask "Do you like working in a team" always say that you are ok with it. Even if you are more than fine by yourself and need no help, never say this because it is a red flag for most companies for some reason. If dont need help at all just "lie" that you are ok with teamwork

Do you ever have restless nights knowing that once UBI is a thing the unwashed masses will come for wagies like you that made the process take longer?

SlamVook posted...

Remember if they ask "Do you like working in a team" always say that you are ok with it. Even if you are more than fine by yourself and need no help, never say this because it is a red flag for most companies for some reason. If dont need help at all just "lie" that you are ok with teamwork

Yea I never understood peoples need to tell the truth during interviews to be honest.

Theyre lying to get the most out of you. You should do the same.

SlamVook posted...

Remember if they ask "Do you like working in a team" always say that you are ok with it. Even if you are more than fine by yourself and need no help, never say this because it is a red flag for most companies for some reason. If dont need help at all just "lie" that you are ok with teamwork

My default answers are safe. I've worked in software long enough to understand that I don't know everything, and often times I'd rather help others than go heads down on a task myself.

Zwijn posted...

Do you ever have restless nights knowing that once UBI is a thing the unwashed masses will come for wagies like you that made the process take longer?

I'm all for ubi. I'm all for higher taxes, even what I have to pay. I do have restless nights because I know working is a deal with the devil, but I'm not going to go hungry over it.

pnut027 posted...

Yea I never understood peoples need to tell the truth during interviews to be honest.

Theyre lying to get the most out of you. You should do the same.

I don't like cognitive dissonance. I'm there to get the most value for my work that I can, but if there's something about the workplace that is going to make it suck more than work already does, then I'd rather not take the job. Part of that is being honest to an extent.

Halfway into the interview you're asked to take your shirt off

WWYD?

UnfairRepresent posted...

Halfway into the interview you're asked to take your shirt off

WWYD?

*end call*

Halfway into taking your shirt off your interviewer smashes through the nearest window and asks you to put it back on

WWYD?

I hope it works out for you. Let us know.

I didn't feel great about this interview, but I think I'm going to get the job anyways. It felt like they were trying to recruit me instead of vetting me for their company, which is fortunate.

When will you find out?

SweetNut_Farm posted...

When will you find out?

Should be next week.