Board 8 > Activision Blizzard to acquire Microsoft

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01/18/22 10:01:03 AM
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"We felt it was time to expand our horizons," said Activision's CFO. "As computers became a more integral part of our day-to-day lives, an obvious opening forms for a really high-quality word processing program, as well as spreadsheet program. We feel the best on the market today is Microsoft's, which is why we're acquiring them. The good folks at Microsoft were very excited about the deal."

"We're expanding beyond just video games, but video games will still be a core part of what we do. For example, on any device that currently responds to Cortana, we'll also add in a Kerrigan and Infested Kerrigan option."

"We'll be expanding World of Warcraft into World of Correctcraft as well. Traditional adventuring zones will be replaced by vast stretches of whiteness, on which enemy mobs of misspelled words currently being typed by Word users all over the world will form. You'll defeat the mobs by typing in the correct version of the word, which will then be forwarded to the Word user. Our projections tell us that this will be a more efficient method of autocorrect than the one currently in use."

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