Poll of the Day > Guess I'm alone again : (

(+) Yeah! (+)

Girlfriend just want to be friends from now on.

I was so focused on my depression and now it's too late.
I blame her mother because she suffocated our relationship and that is what made me so depressed in the first place.

Her mother was always complaining about me ever since day one.
She began to judge me before we've even met.
She thought I was too young.
Like that's my fault for being born the wrong year.

This is what I mean to not prematurely judge someone before you even get to know the person.
You never know what they might suffer from and you might make them feel even worse.

I don't usually get this angry on someone but I hate her that she ruined our relationship.
I truly hate that hag.

My girlfriend was literally the only person I could tell stuff to and now I have no one close to talk with.

I hate myself so much that I let my depression consume me and I felt so powerless to do anything about it.

But it feels so unfair, I probably wouldn't even be depressed if her mother just accepted our relationship instead of constantly sabotaging it.

This really sucks. It feels like someone has stabbed me with a knife on my chest.
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damn dude, Im really sorry, that shit is the worst. how long were you guys together?

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Yeah, not fun
Even less so after finding out Broken Heart Syndrome is actually a thing

Try to take it easy

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ill vouch for you on tinder leetcheet

LeetCheet posted...

I blame her mother because she suffocated our relationship and that is what made me so depressed in the first place.

LeetCheet posted...

I was so focused on my depression and now it's too late.

its your fault, man up and stop blaming her mother, ok? its your first step to getting past this.

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DirtBasedSoap posted...

damn dude, Im really sorry, that shit is the worst. how long were you guys together?

Seven years. I always thought our relationship was gonna last forever.

ClarkDuke posted...

its your fault, man up and stop blaming her mother, ok? its your first step to getting past this.

Dude, you have no idea how bloody toxic that woman was.
She literally complained and bitched about everything every single day and she always thought she was right about everything and she proved herself wrong every single time she opened her mouth.
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LeetCheet posted...

Dude, you have no idea how bloody toxic that woman was.
She literally complained and bitched about everything every single day and she always thought she was right about everything and she proved herself wrong every single time she opened her mouth.

youre right, but its her mother, you cant expect to compete with the family bonds, ok? you either adapt and outsmart or get out of the way.

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ClarkDuke posted...

LeetCheet posted...

Dude, you have no idea how bloody toxic that woman was.
She literally complained and bitched about everything every single day and she always thought she was right about everything and she proved herself wrong every single time she opened her mouth.

youre right, but its her mother, you cant expect to compete with the family bonds, ok? you either adapt and outsmart or get out of the way.

But she was also really frustrated by her mother's antics.
And as nice as her father was, it always bothered me how he never tried to tell her to back off. He always let his woman to say all kind of crazy shit.
Almost like he has already given up trying to argue with her years ago.

I tried multiple times to patch things up between us but she always eventually said something that really pissed me off(like saying that my mother was a bitch even though she never even met her) and we were back on square one.

Eventually I realized it was impossible to argue with that woman because her head was so far up her ass she couldn't even listen to anyone but herself.
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That sucks man, Im sorry youre going through that kind of pain. Things can always get better though even if it feels like it wont. Time has a way of changing everything.

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ClarkDuke posted...

its your fault, man up and stop blaming her mother, ok? its your first step to getting past this.

Damn roasted

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Jefejonny posted...

ClarkDuke posted...

its your fault, man up and stop blaming her mother, ok? its your first step to getting past this.

Damn roasted

Yes getting unfairly treated by someone who clearly should've known better is definitely my own fault.

Jeez like shitting on someone who's already at the bottom is gonna make things easier for that person to cope with life.

Why can't people just be more understanding of other people's misfortunes and just be decent human beings for once?
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So what you are telling us is after 7 years, you still expected her mother's behavior to change to the point it compromised your mental health and created a rift in your relationship?

I have my own issues with depression, it's cost me my own relationships and jobs. I find it unproductive to place blame on the "Why" of my depression, there is always going to be triggers old and new. I work a lot more on the existing everyday with depression, and build better coping skills overtime. It's a marathon not a sprint.

I'm sorry you are hurt and angry, I just think there is much more to this than the information provided. She even said she wants to be friends, so it's not like you can't still confide in her for things or that she is completely disappearing from your life.

LeetCheet posted...

Yes getting unfairly treated by someone who clearly should've known better is definitely my own fault.

As an adult, do you expect other adults to know better and treat everyone fairly?

Sorry to hear that man, sincerely. Depression sucks but dont blame yourself for it, its definitely not something thats easy to cope with and its difficult for many to understand because the the pain is concealed no matter how much you suffer within. Im not sure how many people know the difference between feeling low and an actual depression.

The most important thing now is to rest and then get professional help (therapist, doctor for prescribing medication/different antidepressants) and I dont doubt that youve tried before, maybe countless times. Dont give up and dont try to do anything or think about everything at once or youll be overwhelmed and get a sense of hopelessness. Small steps every day is more than enough and try not to think about the future (try to think here and now)
Though phases can be unbearable to endure but you will overcome it and fly through that dark cloud.
Take care of yourself and remember, small steps, here and now.

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Yeah. I always give people another chance because I want to believe that people can change their ways.

I lost my first job because I was depressed.
I was so desperate for any kind of help I finally mustered enough courage to tell my boss that I was depressed.
Later that same week I was laid off.

I finally convinced myself to reach for help and all I got was getting spat in the face.
Gee I wonder why men don't usually tell other people that they aren't feeling well.

Look, I could tell you guys so many stories on how ridiculous this woman is.
Like how she judged someone based on their name.
Their frigging NAME and she never even met the guy.

This woman is so shallow that she refuses to wear a hat during cold winters(I live above the Arctic circle where the winters are really cold) because she doesn't want her hair to get squished.
She'd rather freeze her ears off than having her hair messed up.

She even complained that my girlfriend applied hairproducts directly on the head instead of on her hand first(and then spread it on the head).

Well... At least I don't have to put up with her shit anymore.
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Red04 posted...

Sorry to hear that man, sincerely. Depression sucks but dont blame yourself for it, its definitely not something thats easy to cope with and its difficult for many to understand because the the pain is concealed no matter how much you suffer within. Im not sure how many people know the difference between feeling low and an actual depression.

The most important thing now is to rest and then get professional help (therapist, doctor for prescribing medication/different antidepressants) and I dont doubt that youve tried before, maybe countless times. Dont give up and dont try to do anything or think about everything at once or youll be overwhelmed and get a sense of hopelessness. <u>Small steps </u>every day is more than enough and try not to think about the future (try to think <u>here and now</u>)
Though phases can be unbearable to endure but you will overcome it and fly through that dark cloud.
Take care of yourself and remember, small steps, here and now.

Thanks. I've been on antidepressants before but I've since then stopped taking them.
And I'm seeing my therapist next week. It's going to be a doozy because I have a lot to unpack now.
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Thanks. I've been on antidepressants before but I've since then stopped taking them.
And I'm seeing my therapist next week. It's going to be a doozy because I have a lot to unpack now.

Do you feel like those antidepressants helped before? If so, I highly suggest that you start taking them again asap.

Good to hear that youre seeing a therapist next week. Tip: try to write down what you really want to bring up during the session on a piece of paper as it can be easier to forget things when youre caught up in a spiral of thoughts and sadness.

As for her mother, yeah you dont need to see her again and you shouldnt as she obviously had a negative impact on your mental health and relationship, to say the least. F*** that, chapter closed.

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I stopped taking them because I thought I didn't need them anymore. This was like eight years ago I think.
I was thinking about taking meds again last year and I told my doctor about it and he said he would let me talk to a psychologist.
It never happened and I felt like nobody cared so I couldn't be arsed.

I hate these feelings and I wonder who my ex is seeing now.
If it's who I think it is I'm going to be so pissed.
And the guy I'm thinking about is a slob who cheated on his previous girlfriend and he was always flirting with others girls.

If she thinks she's gonna get a stable relationship from that guy then she's in for a surprise.
This guy smokes and eats extremely unhealthily as well.
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Sorry man. You aren't alone though. Also, Clark is someone you shouldn't pay attention to.

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That sucks dude.

If she gets another boyfriend, ask her if you can watch them as you sit in a chair to observe. That helped me. :)

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Dark_SilverX posted...

That sucks dude.

If she gets another boyfriend, ask her if you can watch them as you sit in a chair to observe. That helped me. :)

and the award for the least sensitive and creepiest post goes to. . .

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Did you spend a lot of time complaining to her about her mom?


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Bugmeat posted...

Did you spend a lot of time complaining to her about her mom?

Yes but she did also complain about her so I thought it was ok to do it too.
Her shenanigans pissed me off so much.
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It'll be ok, dude. If you got 1 gf you can get another even if it's hard and takes a while

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LeetCheet posted...

she couldn't even listen to anyone but herself.

it sounds like the problems you have a lot in common with her mother than you realized, ok? no woman wants to marry their mother.

so again, instead of taking any personal blame, its easier for you to blame everyone else. and all im reading is its everyone elses fault, if you want to have any success, take some personal accountability and either move on, or learn to suck it up and stop shooting yourself in the foot, ok?

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Bro no offense but your relationship was always weird. She claims she wouldn't ever have sex with you because she has HPV. Thats not normal.

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Jen0125 posted...

She claims she wouldn't ever have sex with you because she has HPV

what really

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ClarkDuke posted...

it sounds like the problems you have a lot in common with her mother than you realized, ok? no woman wants to marry their mother.

so again, instead of taking any personal blame, its easier for you to blame everyone else. and all im reading is its everyone elses fault, if you want to have any success, take some personal accountability and either move on, or learn to suck it up and stop shooting yourself in the foot, ok?

shut the fuck up dude no one likes you


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Modest_Mouse posted...

what really

Yes. They never had sex their entire relationship last time I saw.

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Modest_Mouse posted...

shut the fuck up dude no one likes you

who are you, i dont know who you are, ok?

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Modest_Mouse posted...

shut the fuck up dude no one likes you

Gtfo fam. Guys a gimmick but gave the best advice in topic. OP doesnt wanna hear it tho.

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LeetCheet posted...

Girlfriend just want to be friends from now on.

Best place for you while you work on your own issues.

LeetCheet posted...

I hate myself so much that I let my depression consume me and I felt so powerless to do anything about it.

Mental health help is shit but working on that will help you it seems.


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Jen0125 posted...

Modest_Mouse posted...

what really

Yes. They never had sex their entire relationship last time I saw.

When the infection eventually went away we actually started doing it.
She's always been self-conscious about her body though.
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I visited her after work today.
We had some coffee and cookies and talked.
I noticed she had a dark spot on her neck.
She didn't felt so comfortable telling me what it was.
Afterwards I started picking up the things I left there since I used to partially live there for seven years.
I noticed a bodywash for men that wasn't mine.
And another pillow(that wasn't mine) on her bed.

Oh.

So she slept with this guy, which took me 6+ years to get to do.

I asked her about this and she said yes.
She still thought it was really awkward.

I was devastated at first of course, but I told her I wasn't angry. We were on a break from eachother after all.
It's her life and she could do whatever she wants.

She told me earlier that she wasn't gonna go into a relationship anyway because of
her disagreements with her mother.

We came to agreement that we would try to stay friends as long as possible and we would still visit eachother like on birthdays or just have a cup of coffee or something.

I really hope we can still be friends no matter what. I've already lost too many of the few friends I've managed to get in my life.

Still, it still feels like hardest stuff is still ahead of me.
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LeetCheet posted...

So she slept with this guy, which took me 6+ years to get to do.

I was devastated at first of course, but I told her I wasn't angry. We were on a break from eachother after all.
It's her life and she could do whatever she wants.

This would still bother me in your situation. Quick enough to fuck another guy while it took you guys a long time to bang.

We came to agreement that we would try to stay friends as long as possible and we would still visit eachother like on birthdays or just have a cup of coffee or something.

Probably for the best. You can do better and deserve better.

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Yeah but it sounded like she didn't enjoy it much as she said it was just awkward.
That kinda felt good to hear for some reason.

She also told me that her mother still doesn't like me despite the fact that we spoke to eachother a few weeks ago.
I told her how hard my life has been and how much I struggle with everyday things.
When we talked it felt like she finally understood me somewhat and told me that she never disliked me and that I was welcome to visit them any day.

As it turns out she was lying through her teeth as she's been continuing to say bad things about me to my ex because she didn't want us to be together anymore so she could have her to herself(she forced my ex to go on vacation with her last week).

That old bag didn't even listen to anything I told her. She doesn't care if other people are depressed or lonely or if she makes other people feel even worse.

I figured as much, because when we talked, she told me multiple times all throughout our conversation that we both needed to take a break from eachother and said that I needed specifically a male friend that I can hang out regularly with.

Fuck that b****, I've never met someone so damn selfish and unsympathic as that lying ass****.
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Sorry that this happened. You'll bounce back, stronger than ever.

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Thanks man. I hope you're doing better as well.

And I appreciate all the posts in this topic. There's a reason why I keep coming to this board.
Even though I've felt like I've been a complete ass many times.

I just wish I could translate my social skills I have here to IRL somehow.
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Thats rough mang.

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Relationships only work when both people are willing to work at it.

Never take anyone for granted and always nourish each other.

Dude honestly based on your last few posts you really need to cut this girl out of your life, I know it must be hard but from the way you describe things there's A LOT of red flags, she's likely lying to you about a fuckload of stuff to make you feel a little bit better and she's trying to direct the blame towards her mother and you're falling for it. Even if her mother is an awful person it doesn't take away from the fact she's not so good either.

She's absolutely lying about not enjoying the sex with the other guy, either that or she doesn't regret it as much as she's leading you to believe. If she was willing to bang another dude when it took you 6 years? That's a massive fuck you, and she wasn't even somewhat courteous enough to try to hide the evidence so she more than likely doesn't care that you know.

I know you struggle with depression, but you're making it seem like it's all her mothers or yours fault when it's not, from my standpoint she sounds like an awful person aswell. And if she's willing to let her mother interfere in her love life so much as to drive you apart you probably shouldn't be with her in the first place.

Again, I know it's hard, but if you can afford it get some therapy and cut this woman out of your life, you need to be away from her and her mother, it's only going to get worse if you don't get out and meet new people.

Cruddy_horse posted...

Dude honestly based on your last few posts you really need to cut this girl out of your life, I know it must be hard but from the way you describe things there's A LOT of red flags, she's likely lying to you about a fuckload of stuff to make you feel a little bit better and she's trying to direct the blame towards her mother and you're falling for it. Even if her mother is an awful person it doesn't take away from the fact she's not so good either.

She's absolutely lying about not enjoying the sex with the other guy, either that or she doesn't regret it as much as she's leading you to believe. If she was willing to bang another dude when it took you 6 years? That's a massive fuck you, and she wasn't even somewhat courteous enough to try to hide the evidence so she more than likely doesn't care that you know.

I know you struggle with depression, but you're making it seem like it's all her mothers or yours fault when it's not, from my standpoint she sounds like an awful person aswell. And if she's willing to let her mother interfere in her love life so much as to drive you apart you probably shouldn't be with her in the first place.

Again, I know it's hard, but if you can afford it get some therapy and cut this woman out of your life, you need to be away from her and her mother, it's only going to get worse if you don't get out and meet new people.

Hurts to read that but there is probably some truth in what you're saying.

Though I think it's true that she isn't enjoying sex because she's so extremely awkward at it.

I mean, she has never masturbated even once in her entire life(she's 38 btw).
I told her that she's missing so much and because she's a girl, her orgasms has the potential to be so much better than I can ever have.
I'm starting to think she isn't all that sexual to begin with.

Yes guys' orgasms is pretty easy and straight forward to achieve but it only lasts for a couple of seconds and then they're unable to get another one for a while.

Which seems kinda disappointing compared to women's that can get not only once but Multiple times and they can last for minutes.
The only downside as far as I understand is that it can be widely different for different women and some can't even get it at all.

I still feel like guys are getting the short end of the stick though : (
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She is not healthy for you. You deserve better.

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Yeah but I still feel like crap. She was the one who gave me strength to cope with my life somewhat.
Everything feels so pointless now and I'm so hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I'm going to see my mother in a few hours at least. Tell her the bad news.
What really breaks my heart is that she's expecting us both.

I haven't even told my brother whom which I share the same apartment with.
But that's mostly because girls have always been an awkward topic between us.
But I feel like I'm an asshole if I don't tell him.
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LeetCheet posted...

Yeah but I still feel like crap. She was the one who gave me strength to cope with my life somewhat.
Everything feels so pointless now and I'm so hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I'm going to see my mother in a few hours at least. Tell her the bad news.
What really breaks my heart is that she's expecting us both.

I haven't even told my brother whom which I share the same apartment with.
But that's mostly because girls have always been an awkward topic between us.
But I feel like I'm an asshole if I don't tell him.

I speak from experience when I say I know what that feels like, my ex was the only one I could speak to about most of my issues and she seemingly did the same, none of that stopped her from cheating on me with someone else during my second deepest depressive episode.

And trust me when I say keeping her in your life will be eventually be absolutely catastrophic for your mental health when she decides she wants to see other people, I made the mistake of trying to reconcile with my ex and after learning about how good her life has been I had months of nonstop emotional breakdowns and "thoughts" like I never had before.

It's gonna be rough, but you need to cut the cord fully and try to meet new people, otherwise I fear you'll go through the same things I did and I wish that on nobody but my ex.

And you need to stop encouraging her behavior and metaphorically jerking her off, telling her all about how she should be having sex and other relationships is not healthy for you, even if you feel it's true it's awful and I know it's because you're depressed because it's what I thought with mine. It sounds very much like you're putting her on a pedestal which should absolutely never be done with anyone, especially an ex, but it's very hard to realize that you're doing this without outside help.

LeetCheet posted...

Yeah but I still feel like crap. She was the one who gave me strength to cope with my life somewhat.
Everything feels so pointless now and I'm so hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I'm going to see my mother in a few hours at least. Tell her the bad news.
What really breaks my heart is that she's expecting us both.

I haven't even told my brother whom which I share the same apartment with.
But that's mostly because girls have always been an awkward topic between us.
But I feel like I'm an asshole if I don't tell him.

feel what you need to feel but be strong and dont wallow

let it pass and then stand up on your own two feet. All you can do right now

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Cruddy_horse posted...

LeetCheet posted...

Yeah but I still feel like crap. She was the one who gave me strength to cope with my life somewhat.
Everything feels so pointless now and I'm so hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I'm going to see my mother in a few hours at least. Tell her the bad news.
What really breaks my heart is that she's expecting us both.

I haven't even told my brother whom which I share the same apartment with.
But that's mostly because girls have always been an awkward topic between us.
But I feel like I'm an asshole if I don't tell him.

I speak from experience when I say I know what that feels like, my ex was the only one I could speak to about most of my issues and she seemingly did the same, none of that stopped her from cheating on me with someone else during my second deepest depressive episode.

And trust me when I say keeping her in your life will be eventually be absolutely catastrophic for your mental health when she decides she wants to see other people, I made the mistake of trying to reconcile with my ex and after learning about how good her life has been I had months of nonstop emotional breakdowns and "thoughts" like I never had before.

It's gonna be rough, but you need to cut the cord fully and try to meet new people, otherwise I fear you'll go through the same things I did and I wish that on nobody but my ex.

And you need to stop encouraging her behavior and metaphorically jerking her off, telling her all about how she should be having sex and other relationships is not healthy for you, even if you feel it's true it's awful and I know it's because you're depressed because it's what I thought with mine. It sounds very much like you're putting her on a pedestal which should absolutely never be done with anyone, especially an ex, but it's very hard to realize that you're doing this without outside help.

Ouch. Sorry to hear that.
But I'm pretty sure you're 100% right. When she gets into another relationship, which she could potentially do in the future because, well, I've already said it above, I will just get devastated again.
Though, I doubt that guy will have the same patience for her mother that I had for over seven years.
He will probably quickly realize how lost of a cause her mother is and he will get the hell out of there.

I just realized how much it sucked to hear that she banged a guy from her work.
Even if we were 'on a break' from each other.
She could've at least waited more than a few weeks until she started inviting people home.
I know she didn't really like that stuff and maybe he forced himself on her?
I mean, it did seem like she wasn't proud of it.

...

It's 100% impossible to somehow get together with her again when she had sex with another guy, isn't it?

Now I'm imagining some guy banging her in the same bed we used to sleep(as in Zzz) together in.

Goddammit I hate my life so much! I feel so betrayed.
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LeetCheet posted...

Ouch. Sorry to hear that.
But I'm pretty sure you're 100% right. When she gets into another relationship, which she could potentially do in the future because, well, I've already said it above, I will just get devastated again.
Though, I doubt that guy will have the same patience for her mother that I had for over seven years.
He will probably quickly realize how lost of a cause her mother is and he will get the hell out of there.

I just realized how much it sucked to hear that she banged a guy from her work.
Even if we were 'on a break' from each other.
She could've at least waited more than a few weeks until she started inviting people home.
I know she didn't really like that stuff and maybe he forced himself on her?
I mean, it did seem like she wasn't proud of it.

...

It's 100% impossible to somehow get together with her again when she had sex with another guy, isn't it?

Now I'm imagining some guy banging her in the same bed we used to sleep(as in Zzz) together in.

Goddammit I hate my life so much! I feel so betrayed.

That's not your problem, you shouldn't care about it any longer.

Whether she regretted the sex, enjoyed it or not it's irrelevant and it's not good for you to keep focusing on it although again, I know how hard that is to stop. She has shown no consideration for you so you should not care about her, her choices are hers to make.

Don't try to get back with her even if you can, she's not worth your mental health. Leave toxic people out of your life whenever you can.

I know you hate life but it can be so much better when you're not surrounded by awful people.