Current Events > how the hell do you stop being nice to people

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm too nice to people all the time and then I get frustrated because I know they're taking advantage of me and nothing will ever happen to them.

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Speak out.

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Stop associating with those people then.

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its ok to deny people, take care of yourself first

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Start moving towards what you want, instead of what they want.

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Theres a difference between being nice and being a pushover.

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Xenozoa425 posted...

Stop associating with those people then.

Easier said than done when you don't have to work with them lol.

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It sounds like you have an issue with setting boundaries, which is something I have had trouble with in the past. I started really small at first with my family and friends. Then that helped me build up to saying no to harder things my colleagues would as of me at work.

Also if you have a significant other, definitely let them know that's something you want to work on. My girlfriend really helped me in that department.

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My wife is constantly telling me that people take advantage of me and I ... usually just let it roll.

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Hexenherz posted...

My wife is constantly telling me that people take advantage of me and I ... usually just let it roll.

Do you get more enjoyment helping others than yourself?

I will sit around my house not doing shit for a week. Then I'll go over to a family or friends house and offer to help with yard or house work. I just feel like others care more and it makes me care more.

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Generally I do like helping others out yes, though that also aggravates my wife because there are admittedly some things we have to do around the house that I get lazy about -_-.

But I also hate when someone is just lazy and doesn't read a simple email message and then I'm the one stuck cleaning up their mess because they don't know how to communicate properly.

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Hexenherz posted...

Generally I do like helping others out yes, though that also aggravates my wife because there are admittedly some things we have to do around the house that I get lazy about -_-.

But I also hate when someone is just lazy and doesn't read a simple email message and then I'm the one stuck cleaning up their mess because they don't know how to communicate properly.

Oh yeah. The latter is where the asshole needs to take over. I tell people exactly how that type of stuff makes me feel. A lot of time I try to step in front of it before it can even be something. I will accuse people of future transgressions, so that they know how I'd feel about it if it gets to the point. If you're overall helpful, people kind of just have to accept it because they don't want to lose your help other places.

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Hexenherz posted...

Easier said than done when you don't have to work with them lol.

Then you need to be able to put your foot down and set boundaries. If you can't fix the problem internally by being able to be polite and kind yet firm on your ideas, thoughts and stances without worrying about what other people think, it won't get solved externally.

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Just use a flat no.

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