Current Events > If I ever get covid-19 coronavirus, I'll close my account

(+) Yeah! (+)

This is the only account bet I've ever made. If I get sick with coronavirus, I will close my account.

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Where's the form?

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Why would you do this.

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Turbam posted...

Where's the form?

There's a form?

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What about your other accounts?

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solosnake posted...

What about your other accounts?

MrMallard is my only account. Once this account goes, I'm off here forever.

I do have an older account that I used for GameFAQs stuff and not for the boards, but it's an old username that I don't feel like using.

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Why would you do this? Why is this worth betting on?

I'd rather you didn't do this, so we can know if you survive it and to hear your story.

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malenz posted...

Why would you do this.

Resaix posted...

Why would you do this? Why is this worth betting on?

I'm betting on this because I think there's a negligible chance of me getting coronavirus. Sure, my town had the whole "stockpiling toilet paper" thing happen, and some lady had her kid tested for coronavirus a few weeks ago, but a lot of the fervor that's been going around is panicked alarmism. I would imagine the kid didn't have the disease, considering it's been two weeks and there hasn't been a confirmed case in my buttfuck nowhere town.

But let's say that someone in my town does get coronavirus. The existence of this thread provides an incentive not to get sick, and it also turns disease prevention into a game. If I win, which is almost certain, I keep my account and I don't get sick. If I lose, I'm gonna lose access to one of my regular haunts on top of contracting a disease that leaves me isolated from the outside world. I think it's funny that on top of getting coronavirus, I would also have to close my account - basically adding insult to injury.

malenz posted...

I'd rather you didn't do this, so we can know if you survive it and to hear your story.

If I do get coronavirus - which I fucking won't, I can assure you - I'll at least make a farewell post. And some of you folks probably share a discord room with me, so it's not like I would be gone forever for those few people. Worst case scenario, I make a discord server called Coronachat where people can keep updated on my condition.


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@ me if the worst comes true

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Worst case scenario: Hoth uses his doxxing powers to find out where I live, tracks me down and throws a jar of a coronavirus patient's spit in my face lmao

This bet is a stupid shitpost. I'll be fine.

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What if you get it, but the CDC refuses to test you so you are never a confirmed case?

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I'm not a psychic - if it comes and goes with no fanfare, then I'll live the rest of my life completely unaware that I once had coronavirus and I'll still have my account.

The second I jury rig a system to test the pathogens in my blood system or whatever the fuck to determine if I've got the coronavirus, I'll @ you. Right after I file a patent and give it to a non-profit organisation that doesn't fuck the people it's meant to be helping in the butt.

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