Board 8 > Which of these ways would would you prefer to be dumped?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'll take the text message any day. If not that, then a phone call in enough. In person is awful, just a waste of time and probably money to get to the meeting spot. Plus it's awkward and uncomfortable. I never got why that's the ideal for most people. Unless it's a spur of the moment while we're already hanging out at the time.

I know I'm in the minorty here but anyone else here agree?
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I guess it depends on how long we'd been dating, but if it was anything more than a month-long fling the in-person is the ONLY way to do it. You kind of owe it to the other person to do them the courtesy of breaking up face-to-face.

Unless it's someone you suspect might be a crazed stalker, in which case text them it's over, change number, change locks if they've ever been over, block em on social media, ghost the fuck out of them, cut and run
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In person is such a hassle and totally unnecessary. Just call.
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You left the ghosted option off, this poll is invalid.

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In person so that they can see the hurt on my face and feel as badly as possible about their poor decision to break up with me, a literal top 200 board 8 poster

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redrocket posted...

You left the ghosted option off, this poll is invalid.

Dang it I was going to add it and forgot >_>

But idk why anyone would want to be ghosted

Peace___Frog posted...

In person is such a hassle and totally unnecessary. Just call.

Heck yeah
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Face to face I guess but definitely in a public setting, or at least that's how I've done it when I had to end things before. I was ghosted once it's the worst feeling ever at least give them a damn phone call or even a text

yeah I've been ghosted before and it's the worst

I don't know that I've ever had a relationship end in person, whether it was initiated by me or the other person. It's always been over the phone (minus the ghosting incident).
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Ghosting as a poll option was meant for the sake of completeness and to stand in contrast to the other options.

What the poll needs even more, actually, is IDGAF as long as they do something other than ghosting me.

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How long you been dating?
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on the jumbotron at a live sporting event
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I broke up with my ex at their apartment. Then my next partner broke up at my apartment. Both times it felt... optimal? When I'm broken up with, I want to immediately wallow in my pity and cry or whatever, so being in my apartment rather than in public is definitely my preference. I almost felt bad for my ex who had to take the hour-plus subway ride back.

I more or less ghosted my last partner, whom I dated for over a year, but I had my reasons to hate them and they knew it.
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i mean it obviously depends on the relationship, the severity, exactly what's going wrong, and how the decision is being reached

I've had a pretty good experience with face-to-face, like it was sad but of course if it's serious with both people. it was sad, but nice at the same time

actually been ghosted fine but that was when the relationship deteriorated so horrifically over a month that I knew there'd be no more contact the moment I finished walking them home. hell if anything the ghosting worked out better for me than it did them

the worst is when you're ghosted by a catfish
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Could you imagine a 5+ year relationship ending through a text. It would be glorious.
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LOLIAmAnAlt posted...

Could you imagine a 5+ year relationship ending through a text. It would be glorious.

I don't think a 5 year relationship ending would be glorious regardless of the method

But if it has to happen give me the text everytime tbh
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MZero11 posted...

I never got why that's the ideal for most people

Because a relationship is based on communication although in your case it seems to be based on convenience and monetary transactions

Which reminds me we really gotta see other, less sociopathic people
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If you invite someone to Disney just to break up with them then you're crazy but yeah just go over to their place or a nearby cafe or something
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Closure of some kind is always good. I'd prefer in person, although I am out of the dating scene. Thanks @Tom_Bombadil .

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foolm0r0n posted...

MZero11 posted...

I never got why that's the ideal for most people

Because a relationship is based on communication although in your case it seems to be based on convenience and monetary transactions

Which reminds me we really gotta see other, less sociopathic people

Yes, a relationship is based on communication, and a breakup is based on destroying said relationship. Hence such communication is also destroyed. So what"s the point of enduring 10-30 minutes (or worse) of painful awkwardness just to probably never see that person again?

foolm0r0n posted...

If you invite someone to Disney just to break up with them then you're crazy but yeah just go over to their place or a nearby cafe or something

I do do this (except for the long distance ones which get a phone call) because it's considered the "right thing to do". But personally if I'm on the receiving end I'd just prefer a text or phone call

Llarian posted...

Closure of some kind is always good. I'd prefer in person, although I am out of the dating scene. Thanks @Tom_Bombadil .

That makes sense. I'm more of a rip it off like a band-aid and start the healing kind of guy though. Oh you want to break up? Alright then. Thanks for the memories and have a good life. Good Bye.

I wish I had a Tom :/
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MZero11 posted...

Yes, a relationship is based on communication, and a breakup is based on destroying said relationship. Hence such communication is also destroyed.

Destruction isn't a necessary part of a breakup.
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MZero11 posted...

foolm0r0n posted...

MZero11 posted...

I never got why that's the ideal for most people

Because a relationship is based on communication although in your case it seems to be based on convenience and monetary transactions

Which reminds me we really gotta see other, less sociopathic people

Yes, a relationship is based on communication, and a breakup is based on destroying said relationship. Hence such communication is also destroyed. So what"s the point of enduring 10-30 minutes (or worse) of painful awkwardness just to probably never see that person again?

Because, depending on why you're breaking up with them, you still respect them and they deserve the same open communication that was the foundation of the relationship?
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LeonhartFour posted...

MZero11 posted...

Yes, a relationship is based on communication, and a breakup is based on destroying said relationship. Hence such communication is also destroyed.

Destruction isn't a necessary part of a breakup.

Destroy was a bad word choice I guess. I just meant it's ending it.

NFUN posted...

MZero11 posted...

foolm0r0n posted...

MZero11 posted...

I never got why that's the ideal for most people

Because a relationship is based on communication although in your case it seems to be based on convenience and monetary transactions

Which reminds me we really gotta see other, less sociopathic people

Yes, a relationship is based on communication, and a breakup is based on destroying said relationship. Hence such communication is also destroyed. So what"s the point of enduring 10-30 minutes (or worse) of painful awkwardness just to probably never see that person again?

Because, depending on why you're breaking up with them, you still respect them and they deserve the same open communication that was the foundation of the relationship?

You guys seem to be arguing against the wrong thing here. I'm not asking "why should I break up with someone face to face", I'm asking why people prefer it

Like I have no interest in that same "open communication" after I've been dumped. I don't feel any more closure from in-person vs phone/text. What is going to make me feel better that I was dumped face to face rather than from a distance? Idk maybe it can't be explained
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MZero11 posted...

Like I have no interest in that same "open communication" after I've been dumped

That is all on you. Breaking up doesn't erase your relationship. If you want to pretend the other person never exists, you're gonna end up that psycho who pathologically avoids their exes, which it sounds like you are. It's way better to just end it clearly and humanely. In person is the best for that.
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Most ways I would prefer in-person. But if I'm dumped for a physical attraction reason then I wouldn't want to be told that in person, nor over the phone, nor via text!
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