Current Events > Imagine if James Cameron made his Spider-man movie in the 90s

(+) Yeah! (+)

MARY JANE goes alone to her private spot. She is sitting, thinking, when she hears something behind her. She turns as Spider Man drops down to her, and gasps, startled by his sudden presence. She feels a rush of excitement as he offers his hand to help her up.

SPIDER MAN: Do you still trust me?

Her answer is a kiss. Sweet and soulful... their lips separated by the sheer fabric of the mask. She can feel his breath on her face.

MARY JANE: Where are we going?

SPIDER MAN: It's a surprise.

CUT TO: The Brooklyn Bridge. A stunning aerial shot. A tiny shape swinging in an arc, racing past the support cables, sweeps toward us. It is Spidey, with MJ in his
arms. He shoots another web strand, swings to one of the stone towers, and races up the side. She is light as a feather in his arms. She screams like a kid riding Colossus, in fear and exhilaration.

They pass us. Her screams continue, fading as he carries her up to the dizzying heights above us.

ON TOP OF THE BRIDGE TOWER. Hold a beat. We hear screams approaching. Spidey appears and sets her on terra firma.

She clings to him, looking down and around in wonder.

He has put the world at her feet.

She can't believe this is happening to her.

In a dizzying down-angle we see how the suspension cables all meet radially at the top of the tower... like the treads of some vast spider web. Peter and MJ seem to sit at the very center of the web, surrounded by the lights of the city. It is a warm spring night. And the moment is pure magic.

She stands with her back against a girder, needing to feel something solid. Spider Man stands before her, a perfectly formed male silhouette with a soothing low voice.

SPIDER MAN: Courtship among the spiders is highly ritualized. It varies from species to species. The male spider may circle the female, or wave his front legs... to signal that he is not prey.

Spider Man moves in a hypnotic arc around her. He raises his hands in a dance-like movement. Lowers them.

SPIDER MAN: The female usually signals her willingness by an uncharacteristic passivity.

MJ takes a deep breath. Her lip trembles. Her knees are weak. Her eyes, though, are steady, gazing at the silhouette before her. She doesn't move of speak. He moves closer.

SPIDER MAN: In certain crab spiders, such as Xysticus, the male will attach strands of silk to the female... tying her limbs...

Spider Man moves his hand gracefully across her, and she sees the sheerest silk webbing glinting in the moonlight.

First one wrist. Then the other. Hypnotic movement in the moonlight. Her arms are bound to the wall. Her breathing gets more rapid.

SPIDER MAN: Since the female can break free at anytime, the bonds have only symbolicsignificance.

MARY JANE: The male must be very bold... to take such liberties with the predatory female.

SPIDER MAN: Yes. He is very bold. But he must alsotrust her.
(he moves very close)
Close your eyes.

He removes his mask and kisses her. Their mouths very slowly and very sensuously devour each other.

Peter and MJ are locked together. He is mesmerizing, gentle, powerful. He pushes up her skirt. They make love, high above the world.

She doesn't look.

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/s/spider-man-scriptment.html

Imagine seeing this beautiful moment for the first time as a young child
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Tight on Peter as he wakes up. He opens his eyes cautiously. Not knowing what to expect.

PULL BACK to reveal that he is still in bed. All is normal.

He breaths a sigh of relief. In fact... he feels pretty good. Lots of energy. He pulls back the covers and...

Something is causing the sheet to stick to him. He lifts it, revealing a sticky, white mass completely covering him, gluing him to his bedding. It is some silky substance webbing him into the covers. He cries out in dismay... struggling to free himself from the gluey strands. Where did it come from? He notices his wrists...

They are oozing a pearlescent white fluid from almost invisible slits about a quarter of an inch long. He pushes on the skin next to one of the slits and... a dark shape, the size and color of a rose-thorn... emerges from beneath the skin. It shoots a jet of liquid silk into his face.

Peter screams at the top of his lungs.

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That's um hmmm

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I guess he rubbed one out to some arachnid documentary on National Geographic to get it out of his system
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CUT BACK TO PRESENT, in Strand's mansion. A WOMAN enters the room. She is stunningly beautiful. The kind of consort you would expect for a man of wealth, power and taste. This is CORDELIA. He motions her to him and she glides over, but stops a foot away.

STRAND: I must say, my dear. You look very usable tonight.

She smiles playfully. He circles her, almost touching her. His hands move over her... inches from her skin. He leans close and breathes in her scent. But he can't touch her.

She opens her silk robe. Underneath she is wearing a rubber wetsuit. He touches the rubber, running his fingertips over her. We hear a faint crackling of electricity. She seems both excited and apprehensive.

STRAND: I want you. Not rubber.

CORDELIA: No, Carl--

STRAND: Yes!

Strand doesn't like the concept of no. He takes her in his arms and kisses her. With passion. And more... her hair stands straight out with the electrostatic charge.

She begins to convulse, in tiny shivers at first but then like an epileptic. Suddenly she goes limp. Her eyes stare fixedly at the ceiling.

STRAND: Shit.

He drops her on a couch. Stands there in misery and isolation.

Strand has the midas touch. He has everything and nothing. His electrical sense gives him the power to manipulate computer bank transfers, the stock market, etc... to make himself a billionaire. To sit at the center of the world's great electronic web and feel its vibrations.

So he has everything.

But he cannot touch another person, or shake hands, without a great effort of will to control his electrical potential. And if he lets his guard down, in an intimate moment with a woman, he will kill her with the high voltage discharge. His love is deadly. So he has learned to live without love, without the comfort of human touch, emotion, contact.

So he has nothing.

He quickly unzips the front of her wetsuit and puts his hands under the rubber. ZAP! Her body arches. He steps back, scowling. Impatient. Her eyes flutter open and she struggles to breath.

CORDELIA: I don't know how much more of this I can take, Carl.

His origin story is the most typical 90's bad guy origin story ever. He's screwed over by his gang. They think he's dead and he comes back with powers and kills them all. He touches a guys chest, zapping him and yells "Clear!"
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I mean, 90s movies had a lot of dialogue like that.

In Spider-Man's case, that scene would probably be the subject of internet videos using it as an example of bad comic book movie romances -- like Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever.

CUT TO Spider Man, creeping around a high-rise. He sees a man and a woman arguing. The man starts beating up on her in a drunken rage. Peter can't stand to watch. She cries and tries to run but the guy catches her... hits her again. And again. The next time he draw back his fist, he feels something grab it and turns...

There is a guy in a mask there! Peter decks the guy with one punch. It feels good to make a difference. To mete out a little justice. To defend the helpless...

Which is what he's thinking at the exact moment the woman smashes a frying pan down on his head from behind.

WOMAN: Leave my husband alone!!

Now they're both beating on him, and he retreats in confusion. This spider Man thing is going to be harder than he thought. People sure are complex. He has the physical powers, but not the wisdom. Yet.

What wisdom is he missing here
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This has yikes written all over it

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There are worse scenes.

Remember in Happy Gilmore where Veronika Voss laughs off what a seemingly natural thing it is for a guy to "accidentally" grope her? I don't think it gets more yikes than that.

Oh yeah Peter Parker talks about spiders to Mary Jane in high school scenes too. He likes to talk about spiders.
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Darmik posted...

Oh yeah Peter Parker talks about spiders to Mary Jane in high school scenes too. He likes to talk about spiders.

...I'm suddenly having second thoughts about James Cameron's decision to give the Xenomorph Queen additional limbs and show her giving birth.

<_<

The villain also likes to talk about spiders

The point is, you are not a hero. You are a spider. It's something you don't have a choice in. And spiders are predators. They kill to live. They kill to live. They are not hampered by humanitarian ideals or impeded in their lethal efficiency by delusions of morality. They are pure. Powerful. As God made them.

There are no merciful spiders. There are no vegetarian spiders. It is now time for you to face and accept your true nature.

This also happens

Strand moves without warning, grabbing Mary Jane before Peter can pull her away. She feels the current running through her. Peter lunges forward and Strand turns up the juice. Mary Jane cries out.

Peter stops. He can only watch helplessly as Strand toys with her life. Strand grabs her head and kisses her. The voltage makes her hair shoot straight out. She starts doing the watusi.

STRAND: See how power turns women on?

He breaks the kiss. She slaps the shit out of him and he kisses her again, this time at a much higher voltage. MJ starts to convulse wildly.

Meanwhile, Sandman has dissolved and is flowing across the floor. He reforms behind Peter and grabs him in a grip of solid rock. Peter struggles as Strand electrocutes MJ.

She bucks and goes still. Her head falls back and Peter sees her staring eyes, pupils fixed and dilated.

Dead as they come. Peter can only stare in horror.

STRAND: Mmmm. What should we do? Call 911?

PETER: I'll kill you! Motherfucker! You hearme?! You're dead, you sick bastard!

STRAND: See! That's my point exactly! You are a killer, kid. You've got it in you. Why don't you accept it? You want to rip my throat out right now.

Strand puts his hand on Mary Jane's sternum and zaps her with a defibrillating pulse. She arches, then relaxes.

Her chest starts to move. She opens her eyes, weakly, seeing Strand looking down at her.

STRAND: I think there's real electricity between us, don't you?

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Those are probably all of the funniest scenes outside of the constant conversations about spiders. There's even one more at the end when Peter talks about how spiders competing for females when Flash tries to bully him in front of MJ.

But overall it's funny how damn generic it is. The bad guy is basically Kingpin + Electro who runs the city and wants to take Peter under his wing. Sandman is his right hand guy. There's a big final battle after MJ is kidnapped and Peter tricks Strand into killing Sandman and kills Strand by yanking him off a building. This whole movie reads like a reaction to Batman 89.

There are some things Raimi seems to take though. The organic webshooters. The bully scenes in the school are similar. Recognizing Uncle Ben's killer is very similar. Rescuing MJ in an alley against thugs is similar (although no mention of the famous upside down kiss). MJ recognizing Peter by a kiss is also at the end although Peter spells out that he's Spider-man right after.

One thing I do like is that a large focus is on Peter being poor and misunderstood as Spider-man. it's a big focus and he chooses not to steal money from criminals and gives it back to the city. But JJJ is paid to hate Spider-man in public which sucks.

The weirdest thing about this movie is how god damn horny it is.
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Loling my ass off here

he mustve really needed to jerk off while writing this

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50 shades of web
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Lmfao that all sounds like a script Mac and Charlie would come up with today and Dennis Reynolds handles the sex scenes.

Only thing missing is FULL. SPIDER. PENETRATION.
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Jagr_68 posted...

Lmfao that all sounds like a script Mac and Charlie would come up with today and Dennis Reynolds handles the sex scenes.

Only thing missing is FULL. SPIDER. PENETRATION.

OMFG LOL

Jagr_68 posted...

Lmfao that all sounds like a script Mac and Charlie would come up with today and Dennis Reynolds handles the sex scenes.

Only thing missing is FULL. SPIDER. PENETRATION.

Penetration
Web Swinging
Penetration
Web Swinging

He senses crime
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