Current Events > Yeah I think I'm officially done with her.

(+) Yeah! (+)

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I didnt make it up, TC was previously vague about the age gap and provided such approximations in the past. This isnt the first or even second topic about this theyve made

Edit - He even provided inconsistent and contradictory information about the age gap in this topic too

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Sometimes on the internet, people will respond in ridiculous ways that are obviously not serious in an attempt at humor.

In the past I have advised TC to cosign on a loan for her and "Nightmare on Elmstreet" her which to sum up was an absurd attempt to invade her dreams and be her dream bf. These suggestions were not taken seriously by TC, nor should they be by anyone on earth. My previous post was a similar attempt at giving outrageous advice that should not actually be followed.

I admit I didn't fully read your post because it was cringy

Jiek_Fafn consistently posts gold

Always read his posts, you wont be disappointed

Goderator posted...

I barely read any of these countless topics but you sound like you have 0 self respect. What's going to end up happening eventually is not you leaving her, but her leaving you and you will be even worse off as a result because you couldn't make that decision for yourself.

So its not a self respect issue, because the second she actually lied to me it was effectively over between us.

I was just really sympathetic to her figuring out her youth, and gave her a lot of leeway in regard to that.

like how do you handle someone you love whos scared about a relationship that you werent pursuing.

Like how do you convince someone youre not doing something youre not doing

I probably messed up in that regard and I should of been alot blunter about the way i felt

CSCA33 posted...

I didnt make it up, TC was previously vague about the age gap and provided such approximations in the past. This isnt the first or even second topic about this theyve made

Edit - He even provided inconsistent and contradictory information about the age gap in this topic too

ive been inconsistent about ages to not be completely honest about the situation.

i have 8 years apart and Im in my early 30s and shes now in her mid 20s

You kept things casual and at a distance but instead of hitting it and being one of the guys on her rotation, you fell in love and fumbled the entire bag. She's in her 20s, she's already been out there sexually since. Take a breath and get over it/yourself/this train of thought.

You keep saying she lied to you, but the way you described it was a breakdown of communication rather than lying.

This is stuff you learn as you get older and start to get actual relationship experience and dating experience.

If youre going to just accuse every girl you meet of lying about being single as a relationship status because she went on other dates, its going to be a disaster for you mate

Is this the place to get relationship advice?

I might need some!

Single does not mean you are chaste, you need to ask about those things for that information.

How many sexual partners have you had in the past few months, when was the last time you got tested for sexually transmitted disease

This is for your health and protection

CSCA33 posted...

You keep saying she lied to you, but the way you described it was a breakdown of communication rather than lying.

This is stuff you learn as you get older and start to get actual relationship experience and dating experience.

If youre going to just accuse every girl you meet of lying about being single as a relationship status because she went on other dates, its going to be a disaster for you mate

So the initial conversation was definitely a misunderstanding and a difference in opinion of what constitutes casually dating.

The problem is there where multiple follow up conversations where she directly lied, no room for a misunderstanding, that she actually apologized for saying she didnt want me to be jealous so she lied.

C-zom posted...

You kept things casual and at a distance but instead of hitting it and being one of the guys on her rotation, you fell in love and fumbled the entire bag. She's in her 20s, she's already been out there sexually since. Take a breath and get over it/yourself/this train of thought.

The logic here is wrong but the general point is right.

i fucked up being in love with her and not wanting to date her. I shouldnt of told her that, and I should of selfishly pursued an actual relationship or maintained just a friendship.

While the way I felt was clear to me, she never really understood it.

You could try to pop the question and see what she says

you miss 100% of shots you don't take

Jfc these topics are cringe

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I don't know about no progress. Last update he threatened to sue her for giving a gift he got her to her boyfriend. If that's not progress, I don't know what it is.

Anony1125 posted...

I don't know about no progress. Last update he threatened to sue her for giving a gift he got her to her boyfriend. If that's not progress, I don't know what it is.

Actually, the last topic was the exact same as this one. You are thinking of a couple topics ago :)

Anony1125 posted...

I don't know about no progress. Last update he threatened to sue her for giving a gift he got her to her boyfriend. If that's not progress, I don't know what it is.

closes I threatened to sue her for refusing to return something I bought her after she already offered and agreed to return it.

I wanted it back because she lied about her boyfriend.

bsp77 posted...

Actually, the last topic was the exact same as this one. You are thinking of a couple topics ago :)

actually its growth here as well.

in the last topic I wanted her to work for her forgiveness. Now I realize thats not healthy and now if Im gonna make her work to make things right Im still very upset about the situation and we should probably never speak again.

gamepimp12 posted...

we should probably never speak again

You said that last time. Just stop. I lost all empathy long ago.

I was gonna dm bsp a photo of her but you still cant dm photos in 2024

gamepimp12 posted...

I was gonna dm bsp a photo of her but you still cant dm photos in 2024

You can actually. I use a photo uploader app to make an imgur file and then you send the link

Regardless of what she looks though, stop torturing yourself

bsp77 posted...

You said that last time. Just stop. I lost all empathy long ago.

Im admittedly struggling with the fact the person I trusted the most lied to me, and used me.

everything else before this was effectively the results of her misunderstanding my feelings and what I wanted out of us, especially in the short term.

This is the first thing that would actually be hard to come back from.

and I get her lying but its something I would of done at that age, but it doesnt make it right.

gamepimp12 posted...

Im admittedly struggling with the fact the person I trusted the most lied to me, and used me.

everything else before this was effectively the results of her misunderstanding my feelings and what I wanted out of us, especially in the short term.

This is the first thing that would actually be hard to come back from.

and I get her lying but its something I would of done at that age, but it doesnt make it right.

But you said all of this in the topic a couple weeks ago. Almost the same exact thing. It was frustrating that you were still going on about her, but it made some sense. Now though, just move on.

How much did your lawyer quote to sue her? $250 / hour?

bsp77 posted...

But you said all of this in the topic a couple weeks ago. Almost the same exact thing. It was frustrating that you were still going on about her, but it made some sense. Now though, just move on.

So, update I didnt mention, we had spoke about hanging out for my birthday like we originally planned awhile back nothing set in stone just conversations about it, but yesterday she posted her on a date with dude. I said never mind and told her I dont think I could ever forgive her and that I dont think we should ever speak again.

I get more mad about dude Now than I did in the past and its because it reminds me of her lying.

Thats when I realized Im no where close to forgiving her, I dont think I ever will, and what I was doing was trying to make her work for my forgiveness ( I was planning to never speak to her again if I didnt get XYZ for my birthday) that she probably would never earn in my eyes and that was wrong of me.

which is what led to me making this topic.

I just skipped those developments to vent about me just not being able to forgive her, even if I actually want to.

gamepimp12 posted...

and what I was doing was trying to make her work for my forgiveness ( I was planning to never speak to her again if I didnt get XYZ for my birthday)

no hate, but this kind of thinking isn't healthy.

Baron_Ox posted...

no hate, but this kind of thinking isn't healthy.

i agree. Which is why I said never mind and told her we probably shouldnt speak ever again because I dont think I could ever forgive her.

I was going to be a terrible person to her, or she was gonna bend over backwards to make me forgive her.

I firmly believe you have to make some kind of attempt things right in order for an apology to be complete.

but I had a list of things I felt like she had to do specifically and that was taking things too far and when I realized I was still no where close to forgiving her.

You need to watch A Dark Song (2016)

I think it might help

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in his defense me and him have had multiple conversations about this off the message boards.

Don't sleep on that film suggestion

You can thank me later =)

CSCA33 posted...

Don't sleep on that film suggestion

You can thank me later =)

I dont get why its relevant for me.

gamepimp12 posted...

I dont get why its relevant for me.

Have you seen it already?

CSCA33 posted...

I didnt make it up, TC was previously vague about the age gap and provided such approximations in the past. This isnt the first or even second topic about this theyve made

Edit - He even provided inconsistent and contradictory information about the age gap in this topic too

Sure, but then if the information is inconsistent, how would your approximation based on his inconsistent info be any different from making it up?

Guide posted...

Sure, but then if the information is inconsistent, how would your approximation based on his inconsistent info be any different from making it up?

I have no idea what point youre trying to make here, its approximation to the best of our knowledge as opposed to just making something out of whole cloth, which was the implication. Like why are you making shit up? And then it was explained I did not make it up, further corroborated by the TC no less.

CSCA33 posted...

I have no idea what point youre trying to make here, its approximation to the best of our knowledge as opposed to just making something out of whole cloth, which was the implication. Like why are you making shit up? And then it was explained I did not make it up, further corroborated by the TC no less.

The approximation, to the best of our knowledge, based on information that you know is bad, is something you can easily call "making it up".

CSCA33 posted...

I have no idea what point youre trying to make here, its approximation to the best of our knowledge as opposed to just making something out of whole cloth, which was the implication. Like why are you making shit up? And then it was explained I did not make it up, further corroborated by the TC no less.

me being intentionally vague about certain identifying facts about our relationship.

is different than you adding 10 years to both my age and our age gaps.

Ive always said we where between 7-9 years apart and you came in here and said 15 years apart

You had mentioned early 20s and mid/late 30s at some point, I dont know your ages and even said so in my original post

Guide posted...

The approximation, to the best of our knowledge, based on information that you know is bad, is something you can easily call "making it up".

I never said I knew the information was bad. Youre really grasping for straws here bud.

@gamepimp12

Watch that movie though for real

I dont want to give out spoilers but its relevant

And to think some meany weeny locked the sequel topic for the dude who had a 500 post topic about a girl not texting him back.

CSCA33 posted...

@gamepimp12

Watch that movie though for real

I dont want to give out spoilers but its relevant

honestly probably wont not a fan of horror movies

gamepimp12 posted...

honestly probably wont not a fan of horror movies

Ah well in that case the theme of the film is about forgiveness

i understand different genres for different people and respect that

I wouldnt really call it a horror film personally, more of a dark suspense / thriller drama tbh but there are some moments meant to be scary so technically it can be considered horror genre.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



So Im not mad at her dating other people, I actually want her to, because itll help her grow up.

Im mad she lied about it and in doing so caused me to do things I wouldnt have done otherwise.

had she been transparent about her dating the situation would have went way different.

had she been honest about it I would of been alot more reserved about the situation with me and her.

When we where going out while she was going out with him, we both where very transparent about how neither of us are ready for anything serious, how its difficult for us to do anything but be serious. And she has the looming question about going back to college.

had I known how serious her and dude where. I probably would of waited to reconnect with her because we didnt need to reconnect then.

When this other man was having sex with her, did he know about you? Is there any potential for pregnancy or needing to prepare for paternity? This stuff can come back up months later.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


thats actually pretty much exactly how she feels about the situation.

she says she was wrong for lying but felt l like Id get mad and jealous. So she feels kinda justified cause I ended up doing that but only cause she lied about it.

so it was kinda like a self fulfilling prophecy.

CSCA33 posted...

When this other man was having sex with her, did he know about you? Is there any potential for pregnancy or needing to prepare for paternity? This stuff can come back up months later.

im not sure theyre having sex, at least I dont believe they where at the time. I do believe they are now.

By her own admission and conversation we had as Strictly friends when we first met, shes not very experienced when it comes to dating, and her own trauma gets in the way of healthy relationships.

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I honestly do take a lot of you guys specifically advice to heart. It doesnt always look like I act on it but it does influence me.

realizing Im still very angry about the situation and I was going to get my lick back one way or another if we spoke wasnt gonna be a good look, and that was something you guys and my personal friends did help me realize.

That and just in general not trying to force things with her anymore, it is what it is. I know it seems like I force things here because I fairly candidly but Ive gotten better expressing what I want without trying to force it upon her.

gamepimp12 posted...

I was gonna dm bsp a photo of her but you still cant dm photos in 2024

Dude wtf? I asked for a pic too, why does he get it and not me also?

Also is your name Justin

Have some self respect and cut off all ties.

One thing I'll never be doing is making topics about a woman who is fucking other guys.

gamepimp12 posted...

Yall got your stories mixed together.

were only 8 years apart Im 32 and shes 25

weve dated we just where never in a relationship.

basically I was in love with her but didnt want a relationship with her because she was young and I didnt think she was ready.

She likes me but feels like Im moving faster than she wants too.

she couldnt and still doesnt understand that I could love her and not want to be with her and she thinks Im lying about it

The issue that kinda broke everything was her lying about her relationship status to me. We didnt speak for like 8 months and She single and want to dont date around nothing serious.

but shes actively seeing another guy to the point Im pretty sure theyre sleeping together.

probably.

for the most part everything else I had questions about would of been a lie by omission. This is the first time shes clearly lied to me about everything.

That sounds like a personal problem to me.

gamepimp12 posted...

.

While the way I felt was clear to me, she never really understood it.

Let's be real here. Nobody here understands it either.