Current Events > that raw defeated by life feel. it's got me good, finally tapped out here

(+) Yeah! (+)

like my reserves are just gone. evaporated. it's been too long of going too hard at work with no break

i skip most lunches, i work 1 hour+ late each day

it's never enough. and the company keeps getting bigger, and the employees keep quitting or getting laid off, and the company doesnt replace them. im doing so much more than i signed up for, for so long

i dont even have cigarettes to take the edge off a long and tough day anymore

lookin around at people smiling, people not having to answer phones all day, people who arent consumed by thoughts of their job outside of working hours. it's a tough sight. therapy is great but it doesnt help at all with this particular issue. well thats not true, cuz it does help me to vent there occasionally

but like, i dont have venting in me anymore. im just dulled. the lights went out. somehow everyone who knows me has noticed too, which makes it really awkward

oi. what a mess

How much is your job at risk if you stop busting your ass?

You have to be doing the minimum possible if someone's life isn't on the line. Fucking, you can get a doctor's note for mental health, you sound burned out to hell.

Check dm

I can see the detraction from caring so little you feel numb and the caring so much you want to scream I've been on both and I think caring too much is preferable imo. I hope for your spark to come in your situation sincerely

Guide posted...

How much is your job at risk if you stop busting your ass?

You have to be doing the minimum possible if someone's life isn't on the line

it will be noticed within an hour

im not irreplaceable, no one is. but thats just because executives are imbeciles and dont care who gets laid off as long as things look normal from the view up there

Guide posted...

Fucking, you can get a doctor's note for mental health, you sound burned out to hell.

yeah right

It's ok to job hunt while continue working your current job.

It sounds like this job isn't worth the paycheck.

I'm like that too. The light's gone out when it comes to programming. I'm miserable and I'm making my coworkers miserable. I don't want to work on computers ever again. I spent a bunch of time and money on college for a piece of paper saying I'm good at computers. The skill that supports me is just gone. I'm a used up cog. I need to start from scratch.

i just dont understand how im supposed to do this for 40 more years

i just want someplace dark and quiet so i can sit on the floor there and do nothing

im in pretty rough shape today

Yea, you really need to look into finding a new job, or at least find some way to reduce the stress at your work. No job is worth all of that.

Worst case scenario, cut back on what you're doing and let the company deal with it. Make them write you up for the decencies and let them know your workload is unsustainable. If they can't make things livable for you, make them fire you. You'll get unemployment and cobra and can use the time to find something else. :v You deserve better than this

I Think of now and 1 year later maximum.
Maybe it might be because it's uncertain what will happen or how I have to put up with myself thinking with no off switch in my brain to stop thinking though. On the other side of the coin of my life my medication made me hard comprehending and thinking.
I will just not think that far ahead out of discomfort
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4dbe3b1e.jpg

Jobs are means to an end, nothing else. Letting your job consume you is to give up on life and all it has to offer.

Jobs do not deserve loyalty or respect, or even a thought outside of "what can it do for me? Is it fulfilling what I need it to?"

It's not bad to enjoy your job but keeping a healthy mental distance from it so you know when it's time to move on.

For you, it's definitely well past the time to move on to other pastures I would say.

like finding another job that isnt either the same work or half the pay is so easy

i look pretty much every day. i do apply when i find things that seem decent, even though they state you need a degree. havent had any luck for w couplr months now

I've been working 12 hour days and Saturdays for over 2 months now and I've just stopped giving a shit. I'm walking in at 10:45 today and my team's work is not going to get done by Monday. Not my fuckin problem. My individual productivity is fine.

Dungeater posted...

like finding another job that isnt either the same work or half the pay is so easy

i look pretty much every day. i do apply when i find things that seem decent, even though they state you need a degree. havent had any luck for w couplr months now

Try a different field or something else?

I've a unique perspective since I was homeless but there's always jobs out there. While I was looking for something on my career path and my previous job was clearly not working out, I took a job as a landscaper. Pay ended up actually being better than what I was used to, and it lasted me until I got back on track.

Transitional jobs aren't a bad thing, especially low hour ones to bridge the gap.

Not saying "but manual labor is great!" Just saying if things aren't working out, may be time to think outside the box.

R_Jackal posted...

Try a different field or something else?

i have been

i am fine with menial jobs. they just do not pay, all the while dealing with the public still

i am on long island, i am in debt, and i still cannot move out. i cant take a huge pay cut\. i need to save for a move later this year

Dungeater posted...

i have been

i am fine with menial jobs. they just do not pay, all the while dealing with the public still

i am on long island, i am in debt, and i still cannot move out. i cant take a huge pay cut\. i need to save for a move later this year

Do you have nice feet? You can always sell foot pics, there is a market for that even with men

Sounds like you are incredibly burnt out. We only have so many reserves to deal with that. Suggest trying to find something else to do other than working excessively long hours for little recompense.

Dungeater posted...

i have been

i am fine with menial jobs. they just do not pay, all the while dealing with the public still

i am on long island, i am in debt, and i still cannot move out. i cant take a huge pay cut\. i need to save for a move later this year

Won't ask your salary but if you need transitional work and good pay, look in to trash collection service companies. Even the office workers make... Pretty damn good cash. A lot are usually backed by local government, too. Most reliable bet I've found for a job everywhere I've been, for pretty much any education level.

They're damn near always hiring, and legitimately hiring not the "I'm leaving the post up just so it'll be there" hiring everywhere I've ever been.

Hope you get hired somewhere better as you keep applying for stuff; thats rough to go through.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is leave a job you hate.

literally anything is too much to think about right now. cant answer questions or meaningfully respond

took anothjer claim call and had to mute the call between my questions because i was crying

i dont even know how to describe this in therapy tomorrow

this doesnt feel like when i get depressive bouts. those feel like something

this feels like the absence of anything

almost 5

that means the calls will stop at least, hurray. ive got a lot more to do once i dont have to stop every 5 min for a call

At least you have a job

Good job!

Im saying this like Im in a condition to know the feeling of work as if I dont just go college 3 days a week but it sounds unsatisfying and annoying also taxing doing calls..

Set a timer for how long you are going to feel this way

Buy a musical instrument such as

keyboard
harmonica
ocarina
guitar

Or finger paints

Or wash your car

.

Getting down is part of life.

yeah at least i have a job

Sorry to read all that. Uhh huh I actually can relate while I didn't answer phones I still felt in similar situations where I felt like I was in a vicious cycle for years (still basically am just now I get very few hours and have no desire to job hunt, maybe the coming holidays I can find some bullshit mall job that will be less stressful than the current one).

I honestly would just show up and do the minimum requirements. What's the worst that can happen? Some calls go unanswered? I don't want to make this about my situation any more than I did so I won't.

Just keep trying to find maybe a part time job that can make you feel better about yourself. Then you can eventually just leave this current one. I know bills never stop though :/

my therapist is recommending anti depressants and FMLA

she was concerned

Anti depressants.. they are very real at calming yourself but the side effects are less than ideal

ive been on them before but they didnt do anything for me. sertraline, 14 years ago

either way im deferring to her judgment. will not do FMLA though

because that doesnt help solve the issue for me. i would just think about work the whole time, and come back to a complete nightmare

plus i would hugely stress about having to find a new job in that time

hey at least saturday i leave for vancouver for a week

stressed about that too but at least it doesnt involve phones or insurance

Whats fmla

medical leave