Current Events > I asked her out on a date!!!!

(+) Yeah! (+)

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Now awaiting her response.

Now your gonna to have to wear them

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That's a different text to a different girl. I was showing one that ended up in a date.

Personally I'd skip the coffee bullshit and just go for a walk into the Mojave looking for peyote.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Is there any way to fix it?

That girl is done bro. You gave her a bad vibe: dont push it. If anything, say, Im new to this and sorry if came off too strong. Leave it at that.

just work on your game dude. Download all the apps and just stand there and swipe on all of them without stopping. And just focus on talking to girls. Learn from your errors

Noname13 posted...

That girl is done bro. You gave her a bad vibe: dont push it. If anything, say, Im new to this and sorry if came off too strong. Leave it at that.

just work on your game dude. Download all the apps and just stand there and swipe on all of them without stopping. And just focus on talking to girls. Learn from your errors

Maybe say I'm new to online dating instead of new to this.

Don't do the swipe on all of them thing though. The algorithms dislike that and your profile gets bumped to a lower priority. I assume this because I was a discriminate swiper and was told my profile would be featured more because of that.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

Yeah this just sunk, you metaphorically strangled the personal interaction & you might as well move on now. I feel like I need to be a relationship counselor sometimes because holy shit do gamers need to learn how to speak to women better.

Here's a demo:
"Hi *blank*, I've wanted to talk to you more & get to know you better since we started talking, & I'm wondering if you'd be interested in getting coffee with me in the coming week?"

"Oh coffee? Sure we could do that, but I might be working & the cold is making it hard to get around without me freezing my ass off on the bike ."

"If you don't mind me doing so, I'd be happy to pick you up at a location you feel safe waiting for me at, & we can go to the shop from there?"

"That would honestly be really helpful, does *blank location* work?"

"Yeah! I can probably swing by there, do you think around 5:00 PM works for the time, & you give me the day that works best for you?"

"Sure 5 PM sounds doable, how about this Wednesday there?"

"Sounds like a plan :) looking forward to it *name here*."

Transition into talking about one another, then ask about her day, her work, interests, show that you're taking steps to learn about her background before you meet so you have a rough outline of how the conversation will go in person. & If you don't have a vehicle to use, then honestly you shouldn't be trying to date if you don't even have a decent cheap car to get around, because doing Ubers & such constantly is not going to be feasible even if you get the times ironed out.

I did not know that. I stopped dating right when those tinder apps were getting popular. But OP, just try to match as much as you can without messing up your algorithm. Rep it out. Develop a couple opening lines you want to use. Also, use a better picture, youre all zoomed up like a kid who asked to use their aunts iPad. You got this

How long have you been talking to this girl for? Back before dating apps I would talk to them either e-mail or messenger for a few days so I could get to know them better before asking if they wanted to meet.

Then again, I met an ex girlfriend via a chatroom years ago and met later that afternoon and we ended up in my bedroom. The rest is history.

My advice to you topic creator, reach behind yourself around your butt area you should feel a hard pole like object if not imagine one, then grab hold of it and pull that stick out of your butt and try to loosen up.

If you want mechanical and to the point strap a flesh light to a cuckoo clock.

Mistere_Man posted...

My advice to you topic creator, reach behind yourself around your butt area you should feel a hard pole like object if not imagine one, then grab hold of it and pull that stick out of your butt and try to loosen up.

If you want mechanical and to the point strap a flesh light to a cuckoo clock.

Damn bro

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2e461069.jpg

shave the neckbeard bud its horrid

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

Whats fascinating here is youre asking us for advice AFTER you give these horrible responses. But this one here dug your grave man. If there was ever a moment to lighten the mood, make a joke or change her opinion of you, it was here. You ironically validated her concern with this reply.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2e461069.jpg

You look like one of those people that could go on a shooting spree in the near future.

Should I text saying "sorry if I came off as abrasive"

just leave it dude pretty sure she is scared off now

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

Will_VIIII posted...

oh noooo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkDMz2ml0gw

Honestly, barring a miracle where she responds in any positive way to that, it would be easier to just take the L and move on. Really need to learn how to do small talk and learn how a conversation flows before immediately just focusing on the date like that.

Damn bro

clyde_frog posted...

Whats fascinating here is youre asking us for advice AFTER you give these horrible responses. But this one here dug your grave man. If there was ever a moment to lighten the mood, make a joke or change her opinion of you, it was here. You ironically validated her concern with this reply.

This. You should have totally surrendered here and said something like: You're totally right. I'm actually a mortician and I'm not used to dealing with people who might want brevity (kidding!), I'll be better about communication from now. Still down to meet for coffee?

then, from now on take her criticism to heart and respond as if you learned your lesson.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

The guy was struggling to get a meeting time as well because neither person had reliable transportation, do you think public transit or Uber is good enough to facilitate meeting up for dates consistently in America? Like do you have your own job either? Dating is expensive & so is working, idk how you get from point A to B consistently if you don't have enough money to get anywhere, which is why I'm echoing the same advice from professionals that tell people to focus on careers & education before they try dating so they have a foothold in life. Chasing relationships in a bad place in life financially is a disaster most of the time. Nitpickers like you that didn't offer much are part of the problem thinking that you can meet up with tinder dates or potential partners with no reliable transportation.

So she did respond.

I'm not going to post because the last texts are super personal but I'll just say she hasn't had the easiest life.

Vehicle being a deal breaker or not is likely going to depend on the public transit in the OP's area. If they're in the NYC or Chicago area, it's not necessary.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

So she did respond.

I'm not going to post because the last texts are super personal but I'll just say she hasn't had the easiest life.

Honestly surprised she opened up that much. Wow.

The girl I'm seeing lives in Philly. She doesn't have a car, and while it adds a minor inconvenience to things, ultimately idc.

Like if you're rural then sure. Hell, where I live in the suburbs I technically don't need a car (mine hasn't seen much use until I started going on dates). Everything I need is within a couple blocks and I work from home.

CADE_FOSTER posted...

shave the neckbeard bud its horrid

seriously. and maybe try a different hairstyle lol

Well glad you were able to get her to open up TC. Good luck with the date. Just don't overthink things and just talk to her like a friend and get to know each other.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

As has been said, it depends on where you live. I live in Los Angeles where we have terrible public transportation. What's often a 30-40 minute drive by car, takes 2+ hours by public transportation. My girlfriend and I both have cars and we take turns being the one to drive. I wouldn't want to be the only one driving unless it was just a temporary thing.

In my area, not having a vehicle was a date breaker for me (unless physically unable to drive or something) and that was a pretty common deal breaker listed on profiles in my area too.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yeah, no one can tell TC that the car thing should be a dealbreaker for him. I'm just saying that I understand where people are coming from with that. It's definitely a deal breaker for me.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's adding another handicap to a relationship where this guy showed he was struggling just trying to have a conversation to set up a time to meet up, where weather plays a huge roll as well in being able to get around. For the 317 million people that don't live in NYC or Chicago, public transportation is spotty & made worse by bad weather, especially when the girl said in messages she was freezing her ass off on a bicycle lol.

It's giving the guy realistic expectations for freedom of movement without having to rely on America's shitty public transit, we don't live in Japan or London most of us. No one is saying he needs to have a Bugatti or Bentley either, get a beater for less than 8K$ with ~150$ months payments with good credit & then it's much easier for two people to meet up.

It's blowing smoke up someone's ass telling them "nah man you don't need a car, make it work through the power of determination & love" when others like me are saying "hey try to find a dependable cheap car first before making dating a habit, it makes it a lot easier than relying on inconsistent public transit or spending more on taxis & such."

Lol how is this even a discussion? Needing/Not needing a car to date in US is entirely dependent on location

common sense really

Damn TC, If it hadn't been for you,
youd been married long time ago.

Ill see myself out.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Okay then personally I'll rephrase it as " I highly suggest you have a vehicle/car in the US for dating in 90% of the country where public transit isn't up to snuff & it's made much harder by relying on inconsistent means when you're trying to schedule & mingle with others."
I feel like a lot of people underestimate how hard it's going to be to meet women if you don't have your own car to get around & how much of a turn off that can be.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I already told him that and he said it woudl be some battleship game, let him fuckup enough times until he tries somethign different.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

easiest

Now that I read everything and she has actually responded let me say this.

You sound like you want to just fuck, and you already know that she has gone through some hardship, you gotta let her know from the getgo that this is just physical and not have her find out after the fact because you will be contiorbuting to the kind of life where she has not been the easiest. If you legitimately want to date her and be positve for her life, empathize with how she feels and for one, be more communicative.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

Honest advice -- and this is something I had to acknowledge, be mindful of, and follow through with -- validate what they're saying.

Internally you're going "yeah, uh huh, I get that. And here's my response to justify my behavior:" Externally, you're saying "Here's my response to justify my behavior", and thus this reads like you're quick to being defensive. Praise their open communication and accept the feedback which you can now try to improve upon going forward (with either her or The Next Chick).

Then if you want to express where you were coming from, go for it.

Apparently talking about Tcs face will get you moded.

Get rid of the neck beard, smile in pictures and grow some hair.

ghost_hunters posted...

Apparently talking about Tcs face will get you moded.

This website can't handle the TRUTH

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f6beaafb.png

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/ffe78954.jpgPicture of TC here? Sorry couldnt resist TC