Current Events > How come Jesus hasn't returned yet?

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Pikachuchupika
10/16/23 5:34:45 PM
#1:


It's been over 2000 years! He lied about returning, didn't he?
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Torgo
10/16/23 5:36:29 PM
#2:


Because if he was an actual historical person, or a composite of apocalyptic preachers of that time, or a folk tale based on a real person that lived around that time...

They have been dead for centuries now.

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TendoDRM
10/16/23 5:36:47 PM
#3:


It's ok, he said he was getting some cigs and would be right back. Trust him.

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Irony
10/16/23 5:37:18 PM
#4:


He did in The Big Lebowski in 1998

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viewmaster_pi
10/16/23 5:38:51 PM
#5:


we scared him away

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Ratchetrockon
10/16/23 5:39:43 PM
#6:


Maybe time works diff in heaven. So to him only a few days has past/passed (idk which one to used) or something like that

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ForsakenHermit
10/16/23 5:39:58 PM
#7:


Technically speaking it won't be 2,000 years until sometime in the 2030's.

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itachi15243
10/16/23 5:41:25 PM
#8:


Why do people always think he'll come back now?

He's supposed to come back at the end. Do you really think it's the end already? Like it has only been 2000 years. Do you think he'd want the world to end so shortly after becoming God or whatever? >.>

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viewmaster_pi
10/16/23 5:43:20 PM
#9:


itachi15243 posted...
Do you think he'd want the world to end so shortly after becoming God or whatever?
yes

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Ratchetrockon
10/16/23 5:43:26 PM
#10:


itachi15243 posted...
Why do people always think he'll come back now?

He's supposed to come back at the end. Do you really think it's the end already? Like it has only been 2000 years. Do you think he'd want the world to end so shortly after becoming God or whatever? >.>

I think ppl are just bored so they want something cool to happen whether it is Jesus coming back or aliens visiting earth

I fantasize about the aliens a lot tbh

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mercurydude
10/16/23 5:45:59 PM
#11:


The authors of the NT (including Paul) believed that Jesus would return in their lifetimes.

There's been a lot of excuse making since then.

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HudGard
10/16/23 5:46:16 PM
#12:


Jesus: Let em cook.

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Tom_Joad
10/16/23 5:47:16 PM
#13:


Jesus never promised he'd return. You all fell for a 2,000 year-old scam.

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itachi15243
10/16/23 6:02:04 PM
#14:


mercurydude posted...
The authors of the NT (including Paul) believed that Jesus would return in their lifetimes.

There's been a lot of excuse making since then.

More like everyone seems to think it'll happen in their lifetime for some reason? Same with the end of the world. Everyone seems to think that'll also happen before they die.

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CreekCo
10/16/23 6:06:47 PM
#15:


Revelation doesnt really kick off until Wormwood falls. I dunno how people miss this.

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MabusIncarnate
10/16/23 6:07:50 PM
#16:


2024 the year of Zombie Jesus

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Tom_Joad
10/16/23 6:13:30 PM
#17:


MabusIncarnate posted...
2024 the year of Zombie Jesus

Raptor Jesus

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/7/2/AAfQqfAAEDJg.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/5/4/AAfQqfAAE8My.jpg

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Zelduh
10/16/23 6:21:08 PM
#18:


He doesn't exist and neither does god
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Prestoff
10/16/23 6:27:27 PM
#19:


Tom_Joad posted...
Jesus never promised he'd return. You all fell for a 2,000 year-old scam.

Damn

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ironman2009
10/16/23 6:28:09 PM
#20:


we're doing a fine job killing ourselves, no rapture needed.

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Pikachuchupika
10/16/23 6:30:37 PM
#21:


Tom_Joad posted...
Jesus never promised he'd return. You all fell for a 2,000 year-old scam.

...fuck

FUCK!
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Turbam
10/16/23 6:30:51 PM
#22:


He's dating my mom

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lucariopikmin
10/16/23 6:31:31 PM
#23:


He's up there enjoying all the hentai we create, why would he come back and ruin that.

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GEKGanon
10/16/23 6:33:58 PM
#24:


Because Christianity is as equally as untrue as every other religion it claims to be so.

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Johnny_Nutcase
10/16/23 6:34:50 PM
#25:


I imagine he would need security. He has pissed a lot of people off over the years.

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Pikachuchupika
10/16/23 6:45:13 PM
#26:


It makes you wonder how he would even return. Nothing ever returns to life after it has died and becomes dust and particles over time. He'd have to materialize into himself again...how is that even possible? Magic?

Suppose he is reborn as himself...how are we supposed to know it's him?
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Red_XIV
10/16/23 6:48:50 PM
#27:


itachi15243 posted...
More like everyone seems to think it'll happen in their lifetime for some reason? Same with the end of the world. Everyone seems to think that'll also happen before they die.
Because people don't want to accept their own insignificance, and thus assume that the most important events will obviously happen during their own lifetime.

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DnDer
10/16/23 7:51:52 PM
#28:


HudGard posted...
Jesus: Let em cook.

Also Jesus after the end of the world, with all of us in hell.

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ironman2009
10/16/23 7:56:34 PM
#29:


Pikachuchupika posted...
It makes you wonder how he would even return. Nothing ever returns to life after it has died and becomes dust and particles over time. He'd have to materialize into himself again...how is that even possible? Magic?

Suppose he is reborn as himself...how are we supposed to know it's him?

On a jetski

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Notti
10/19/23 4:18:19 AM
#30:


He's not returning because he knows you'd just double cross him.

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Ricemills
10/19/23 4:25:47 AM
#31:


Pikachuchupika posted...
It makes you wonder how he would even return. Nothing ever returns to life after it has died and becomes dust and particles over time. He'd have to materialize into himself again...how is that even possible? Magic?

Suppose he is reborn as himself...how are we supposed to know it's him?

According to Islam beliefs, He will led the army of heaven in the end of days to purge the evil led by Anti-Christ (Dajjal).
Now the question is, how do we know which is which?
Also unlike Christian depiction of Jesus, Muslim believes that Jesus is moderate to big size, muscular, and broad chest.

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Revelation34
10/19/23 4:38:05 AM
#32:


? He already returned 3 days later then died again.

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GrandConjuraton
10/19/23 4:40:28 AM
#33:


Because it's not time yet.

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TetsuoS2
10/19/23 4:45:33 AM
#34:


said he won't return to a time someone can't predict, so everytime someone says, "around this time". It actually gets delayed.

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Akagami_Shanks
10/19/23 5:12:10 AM
#35:


spoiler alert
he's not returning

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TimeForAction
10/19/23 5:16:13 AM
#36:


So your telling me Im out the $10 I loaned him
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BlockAddition
10/19/23 5:22:30 AM
#37:


Fedora tipping intensifies
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Foppe
10/19/23 5:29:34 AM
#38:


Repent therefore, and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and [so that] he may send the Messiah appointed for you, that is, Jesus, who must remain in heaven until the time of universal restoration that God announced long ago through his holy prophets. (Acts 3:19-21)

Basically not enough have repent to trigger the second coming.

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CountCorvinus
10/19/23 5:38:27 AM
#39:


Should have never stabbed John Cena in that nightclub.

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RndmNmber1
10/19/23 5:51:49 AM
#40:


Even Batman has returned.

Batman>J-Man confirmed.

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Rika_Furude
10/19/23 5:53:29 AM
#41:


jesus didnt exist

jesus was a name that some people had, sure, but no magic man walked the earth
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ZevLoveDOOM
10/19/23 5:58:48 AM
#42:


he got shitfaced after partying hard in Ibiza.
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Revelation34
10/20/23 12:24:56 PM
#43:


Rika_Furude posted...
jesus didnt exist

jesus was a name that some people had, sure, but no magic man walked the earth


Jesus is a historical person.

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Sariana21
10/20/23 12:27:36 PM
#44:


He looked around at us humans and said Nope!

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Strider102
10/20/23 12:29:29 PM
#45:


He took one look, realized it was pointless and that the group that always talks about him would have him killed again, and said "No, fuck this."

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TyVulpine
10/20/23 12:36:18 PM
#46:


He's stuck in traffic somewhere.

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Pikachuchupika
10/20/23 12:36:44 PM
#47:


Jesus would definitely need a security detail, maybe even the secret service. But wouldn't he just come back utilizing his god powers? It makes me wonder why God would come to Earth without instilling his homunculus with his powers?

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TyVulpine
10/20/23 12:37:17 PM
#48:


Rika_Furude posted...
jesus didnt exist

jesus was a name that some people had, sure, but no magic man walked the earth

Actually, historians do believe there really was a Jesus, but the Jesus in the Bible and the real one are two different people (and neither is a tall white skinned, blue eyed guy that the Church likes to portray)

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TyVulpine
10/20/23 12:38:28 PM
#49:


Pikachuchupika posted...
Jesus would definitely need a security detail, maybe even the secret service. But wouldn't he just come back utilizing his god powers? It makes me wonder why God would come to Earth without instilling his homunculus with his powers?
If Jesus did return, Republicans would be screaming for him to be deported, as he would be a dark-skinned Jewish Arab, and Republicans would scream that he is a terrorist come to blow up stuff.

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Smackems
10/20/23 12:39:08 PM
#50:


Hes doing his hair

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