Current Events > 'If you dont know someone's gender, just say they/them'

(+) Yeah! (+)

A 5 year old: ok. Sometimes if i dont know if theyre a boy or a girl I just call them by their name.

My boomer parents: it's a travesty of the English language, it's an outrage, you can't say anything anymore, people are so sensitive, what is the world coming to, rabble rabble rabble

Next time you laugh in their faces, do one extra and tell them it was from me.

I spend 3 hours this weekend trying to explain to a 58 year old and her 36 year old son that "No, nonbinary people having their existence be acknowledged doesn't mean we're opening the door for people wanting to be dogs or lizards".
Along with explaining the apparently very foreign concept that gender identity and sexual orientation aren't the same thing.

TheSavageDragon posted...

I spend 3 hours this weekend trying to explain to a 58 year old and her 36 year old son that "No, nonbinary people having their existence be acknowledged doesn't mean we're opening the door for people wanting to be dogs or lizards".
Along with explaining the apparently very foreign concept that gender identity and sexual orientation aren't the same thing.

Tell that to those damn reptilians.

TheSavageDragon posted...

I spend 3 hours this weekend trying to explain to a 58 year old and her 36 year old son that "No, nonbinary people having their existence be acknowledged doesn't mean we're opening the door for people wanting to be dogs or lizards".
Along with explaining the apparently very foreign concept that gender identity and sexual orientation aren't the same thing.

I wish I were I bird, though.

https://youtu.be/nlLhw1mtCFA

Literally had a chat with a 5 year old about this, trying to put it into terms a child would understand.

Me: Well sometimes people aren't really boys or girls.
Her: Why?
Me: Well maybe they just don't really feel like a boy or girl. Maybe there are people who look like girls but like to do things that boys do.
Her: But girls can do anything.

Outwoked by a 5 year old. And conservatives think these topics are too complicated for kids.

pinky0926 posted...

Literally had a chat with a 5 year old about this, trying to put it into terms a child would understand.

Me: Well sometimes people aren't really boys or girls.
Her: Why?
Me: Well maybe they just don't really feel like a boy or girl. Maybe there are people who look like girls but like to do things that boys do.
Her: But girls can do anything.

Outwoked by a 5 year old. And conservatives think these topics are too complicated for kids.

She's right though. I never understood why just because you liked to do feminine things as a male that meant you had to feel female. I feel like that's a personality thing, not a gender dysphoria thing.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

They can't win on issues but they cake stoke of the fires of hatred for things boomers don't understand

Willing to bet the majority of these people used the singular they for most of their life without even thinking about it until someone told them it was woke >_>

I can explain: Don't sweat the details.

Meh, just do away with he/him and she/her when talking to Westerners. Strike it from the dictionary. No more drama. Same with the restrooms that people get angry about.

Id provide a counterpoint on why a 5-year old mentality may not be whats best for biological truths, but then an army of mods will come at me with pitchforks and suspensions.

Lets just say the mentality of a 5-year old is great for one-on-one interactions, and being there for a friend, but lets not go as far as changing curriculums in medical school.

I work with someone who's nb, and they have to put up with all the boomer terfs at my work randomly spouting off about trans people. Thankfully they tend to remove themselves from those situations and vent to me about it.

This is why it's so important to conservatives to restrict education on this subject. Kids aren't stupid and have a pretty easy time understanding this stuff

Lol, I got chastised by a girl on a date for what she said was them talk a decade ago. Well whos dumb now huh!?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



Lmao. Pretty much.

puppy posted...

Id provide a counterpoint on why a 5-year old mentality may not be whats best for biological truths, but then an army of mods will come at me with pitchforks and suspensions.

Lets just say the mentality of a 5-year old is great for one-on-one interactions, and being there for a friend, but lets not go as far as changing curriculums in medical school.

I wasn't aware English language pronouns were a biological truth.

And you better go tell those stupid doctors to stop giving people gender-affirming care since apparently they're basing it on childish feelings instead of data.

How about you just shut the fuck up and don't receive gender-affirming care if you don't agree with it? What's next? Homeopaths passing laws to ban medicine?

Did the 5 year old bring up the topic? I have a seven year old and can't imagine this is anything he'd start a conversation about or is even aware of

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Did the 5 year old bring up the topic? I have a seven year old and can't imagine this is anything he'd start a conversation about or is even aware of

r/wokekids

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Did the 5 year old bring up the topic? I have a seven year old and can't imagine this is anything he'd start a conversation about or is even aware of

It went:
kid: mummy can you tell the person who owns this car that there's a penny stuck in the vent
mum: you know if you don't know if it's a boy or a girl you can say "them"
kid: ok. If I don't know they are a boy or a girl I just call them by their name.

Also, you'd be surprised. My girlfriend's kid was pretty gender neutral in everything until he went to nursery, and then started to be told by teachers and other kids that "these are the boys toys", "these are the girls toys", "thats a girls haircut", and then started to come home and change what toys they wanted to play with. Kids learn this stuff consciously because people tell them, I think.

pinky0926 posted...

Kids learn this stuff consciously because people tell them, I think.

Exactly. My 7 year old nephew regularly wore nail polish as a 4-5 year old because he felt it looked pretty. He has since stopped doing so because of people telling him it's for girls. And now he finds it weird when I pick a female character in a videogame.

WBC_Injury posted...

She's right though. I never understood why just because you liked to do feminine things as a male that meant you had to feel female. I feel like that's a personality thing, not a gender dysphoria thing.

Thats the first thing I have agreed on with wbcinjury

pinky0926 posted...

A 5 year old: ok. Sometimes if i dont know if theyre a boy or a girl I just call them by their name.

My boomer parents: it's a travesty of the English language, it's an outrage, you can't say anything anymore, people are so sensitive, what is the world coming to, rabble rabble rabble

my only issue is why they had to choose an existing word, especially one that represents plural.

I have no problem calling a MtF a she/her, or a FtM a he/him. Heck, since somehow its a sensitive topic I will just look away and keep my opinion to myself if a muscular testicle haver is going to have a boxing match with a slim ovary bearer or whatever terms people are using now, just because I dont want to offend anyone.

but for decades weve been taught they/them is plural and now it is not. it gets super confusing.

They/them has been used in a singular context forever. The only real problem with it is that it gets extraordinarily clunky in long writing. The author/translator has to go out of the way to write around it without confusing the reader, which isn't the easiest thing to do for amateur translators.

DOOM-64 posted...

but for decades weve been taught they/them is plural and now it is not. it gets super confusing.

I'm always baffled when I hear native English speakers say this. English is my second language and I've known about the usage of singular they/them since my early teens...which was 2 decades ago.

pinky0926 posted...

If you dont know someone's gender, just say they/them

No, I am not going to adapt a "catch all" way of speaking over a high improbability. I have been on this earth 3 decades now and I have met maybe 2, max 3 people who prefer different pronouns and in all cases I knew them beforehand (because they usually make it very obvious), which would render adapting my language usage a complete waste of effort.

Also no I dont believe in some weird children wisdom bs.

pinky0926 posted...

Literally had a chat with a 5 year old about this, trying to put it into terms a child would understand.

Me: Well sometimes people aren't really boys or girls.
Her: Why?
Me: Well maybe they just don't really feel like a boy or girl. Maybe there are people who look like girls but like to do things that boys do.
Her: But girls can do anything.

Outwoked by a 5 year old. And conservatives think these topics are too complicated for kids.

Isn't she correct though? Or maybe I'm not catching the sarcasm. I thought wanting to use opposite gendered pronouns was about more than just someone liking "gendered" activities

pinky0926 posted...

It went:
kid: mummy can you tell the person who owns this car that there's a penny stuck in the vent
mum: you know if you don't know if it's a boy or a girl you can say "them"
kid: ok. If I don't know they are a boy or a girl I just call them by their name.

Also, you'd be surprised. My girlfriend's kid was pretty gender neutral in everything until he went to nursery, and then started to be told by teachers and other kids that "these are the boys toys", "these are the girls toys", "thats a girls haircut", and then started to come home and change what toys they wanted to play with and wanted to cut their hair. Kids learn this stuff consciously because people tell them, I think.

Sorry was more referring to post 7.
Also, I have three kids. I know they don't worry about this stuff at all until people start telling them what to think. My twins stay at home and they just play with any toys they want. Sometimes my daughter will say she's a boy. It doesn't warrant a conversation on gender identities lmao

Are millennials more likely to care about this than gen x?

TheSavageDragon posted...

I'm always baffled when I hear native English speakers say this. English is my second language and I've known about the usage of singular they/them since my early teens...which was 2 decades ago.

to be fair ESL can say things such as good morning, male, I am inclined to turn the pages of the thesaurus and enunciate words from therein as practice , and while technically correct, its not how we speak

I watched a 38 years old man have a complete meltdown over someone saying their pronouns were they/them once. It's not that hard to just let people be themselves.

DOOM-64 posted...

to be fair ESL can say things such as good morning, male, I am inclined to turn the pages of the thesaurus and enunciate words from therein as practice , and while technically correct, its not how we speak

Sure, but the fact I've seen singular they/them be used on this very site by native English speakers for years and years kinda invalidates that.

pinky0926 posted...

Literally had a chat with a 5 year old about this, trying to put it into terms a child would understand.

Me: Well sometimes people aren't really boys or girls.
Her: Why?
Me: Well maybe they just don't really feel like a boy or girl. Maybe there are people who look like girls but like to do things that boys do.
Her: But girls can do anything.

Outwoked by a 5 year old. And conservatives think these topics are too complicated for kids.

When conservatives say "think of the kids", they aren't actually thinking about the kids. They're thinking of their own fragile feelings.

Has anyone ever ran into a conservative who trolls with their pronouns? There was a nice old man at the checkout, so I said have a nice day sir. He immediately changed his demeanor and went "MY PRONOUNS ARE THEY AND THEM" and some other reeeeeeing. It was surreal.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


GOP deflects to culture war bullshit every. single. time. a Democrat is in power

It's definitely a boomer thing and I have no idea why it's such a hill they die on

Both my parents, who are otherwise very liberal LGBT-accepting folks completely draw the line in the sand at they/them.

TheSavageDragon posted...

Exactly. My 7 year old nephew regularly wore nail polish as a 4-5 year old because he felt it looked pretty. He has since stopped doing so because of people telling him it's for girls. And now he finds it weird when I pick a female character in a videogame.

My best friend used to be so indoctrinated back in the mid 2000s that he would refuse to play a game with a female protagonist, or even pick one in a fighting game such as Dead or Alive where most of the cast was female.

Thankfully he grew out of that really quick after graduating high school, but that kind of stuff can be VERY strong when they're raised to believe that gender norms are a monolith.

DOOM-64 posted...

my only issue is why they had to choose an existing word, especially one that represents plural.

I have no problem calling a MtF a she/her, or a FtM a he/him. Heck, since somehow its a sensitive topic I will just look away and keep my opinion to myself if a muscular testicle haver is going to have a boxing match with a slim ovary bearer or whatever terms people are using now, just because I dont want to offend anyone.

but for decades weve been taught they/them is plural and now it is not. it gets super confusing.

I was going to correct you until I got to the second paragraph, and now I see that you're being insincere and just wanted an excuse to bash trans and NB people.

Tagged appropriately, moving on. You're not worth the effort to even type a complete

TMOG posted...

I was going to correct you until I got to the second paragraph, and now I see that you're being insincere and just wanted an excuse to bash trans and NB people.

Tagged appropriately, moving on. You're not worth the effort to even type a complete

did you tag me as will call people with the pronouns they want? Or wont even comment about sports issues in order not to offend anyone? Because thats what I fucking said word by word.

In what sick world that means bashing anyone?

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WBC_Injury posted...

Has anyone ever ran into a conservative who trolls with their pronouns? There was a nice old man at the checkout, so I said have a nice day sir. He immediately changed his demeanor and went "MY PRONOUNS ARE THEY AND THEM" and some other reeeeeeing. It was surreal.

Didn't someone here just recently get banned or suspended because in the middle of a discussion, completely out of nowhere, he changed his sig to have "she/her" in it and started accusing everyone of misgendering him?

mario2000 posted...

User Info: DOOM-64
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Active Posts: 139

ah how cute you can copy and paste stuff

mario2000 posted...

User Info: DOOM-64
Rookie User
User Since: Mar 2023
Karma: 10
Active Posts: 139

Lol I guess they blocked me since yesterday

Why even bother when the account won't see the month of May

Actually left a job in a small company over this
HR person went on a rant at a party after one too many glasses of wine about how her sister's kid was 'one of those weird gender netural things and it's bullshit how kids are acting nowadays'

I feel like there's something linking that and her constant complaints about not being able to find a proper relationship but can't think of what...

catfan2008 posted...

Actually left a job in a small company over this
HR person went on a rant at a party after one too many glasses of wine about how her sister's kid was 'one of those weird gender netural things and it's bullshit how kids are acting nowadays'

I feel like there's something linking that and her constant complaints about not being able to find a proper relationship but can't think of what...

A lack of empathy probably.