Current Events > Things just got a lot worse for my mother and I.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Just woke up to the sound of her car being repossessed. She wasnt given any kind of warning about this, apparently,

I dont know whats going to happen. This isnt good at all. This all feels like a living nightmare. I cant afford a car myself, nor am I able to competently drive considering my mental health issues.

Its getting to the point where theres nothing either of us can do to change the situation for the better, no amount of money is enough. This is a nightmare.

Everything is collapsing so quick, this isnt good. I have no idea what to do. Theres zero job market in the area for me and no amount of money through these jobs is going to help even in the short term. This is a living nightmare.

The issue is the car got repossessed and you can't afford another one, but no amount of money can help this?

I'm sorry you two are going through these issues.

I hope things pick up for you.

shnangyboos posted...

The issue is the car got repossessed and you can't afford another one, but no amount of money can help this?

The car got repossessed, were being evicted in a few months, and my health is apparently failing. Theres nothing we can realistically do. The job situation is making things worse as even if I took the first available shitty fast food gig, every paycheck would be immediately depleted and spent towards part of the bills.

Dang. No family that can help ?

If it's out of your control, stressing about it is only going to make things worse. Focus on what you CAN control. Try to be positive.

Dreepapult posted...

Dang. No family that can help ?

Everyone in my family is dead except for my estranged abusive brother who hates us and lives off his wife. If he were informed about this he would unironically enjoy it.

Adyingod posted...

If it's out of your control, stressing about it is only going to make things worse. Focus on what you CAN control. Try to be positive.

There is literally nothing I can control at the moment and theres nothing to be positive about. While this is going on Im also worrying about a major health issue that got worse out of nowhere.

CRON posted...

There is literally nothing I can control at the moment and theres nothing to be positive about.

There is. You just can't see it.

Adyingod posted...

There is. You just can't see it.

There isnt. Im now dealing with my health issue I cant afford to have treated and its not getting any better. Everything is horrible. Nobody understands.

What is the health problem?

CRON posted...

There isnt. Im now dealing with my health issue I cant afford to have treated and its not getting any better. Everything is horrible. Nobody understands.

Lots of people understand. I understand. You need to understand. Stressing like this is only going to make it worse.

Dreepapult posted...

What is the health problem?

Tooth abscess. I cant afford to go to a dentist and the amount of procedures needed are just too expensive and unattainable.

Adyingod posted...

Lots of people understand. I understand. You need to understand. Stressing like this is only going to make it worse.

I get what you mean but this is a very bad situation that cannot get better.

Oh wow. You're gonna need to do something about that. An abscess can kill you. And I'm sure the pain is pretty bad too.

I think I've heard about free or cheap dental work at dental schools. If you happen to live anywhere near a university.

CRON posted...

Tooth abscess. I cant afford to go to a dentist and the amount of procedures needed are just too expensive and unattainable.

I get what you mean but this is a very bad situation that cannot get better.

You'd be surprised. Try to remain calm. I know that's easier said than done but trust, people have overcome many things in their lives from not giving up. Be hopeful and keep trying.

Hey TC. Are there any local or state resources available to you?

I feel you man. I'm struggling badly lately. Finding a good long term job is hard, let alone one that doesn't victimize you in some way. If not for my parents we'd have lost our apartment by now. I'm about to lose this job and despite tons of effort there's nothing lined up after.

Thats horrible. You never address anyone when theyve asked why not just take any job given the dire situation youre in? It doesnt matter if it goes towards bills. Its worth taking some off.

If youre both doing so bad with work theres no reason you cant apply for assistance.

Also go donate some plasma. Often businesses will offer almost $1k for the first months worth of donations.

Dreepapult posted...

I think I've heard about free or cheap dental work at dental schools. If you happen to live anywhere near a university.

In my area this hasnt been a thing in years. I called three different schools and they dont do that anymore.

emblem-man posted...

Hey TC. Are there any local or state resources available to you?

Getting on assistance in my state is very difficult and time-consuming unless youre a comically destitute parent of multiple children. Weve tried in the past to no avail.

--Zero- posted...

Thats horrible. You never address anyone when theyve asked why not just take any job given the dire situation youre in? It doesnt matter if it goes towards bills. Its worth taking some off.

Also go donate some plasma. Often businesses will offer almost $1k for the first months worth of donations.

It wouldnt help in the long run due to how expensive things are in my area. Id be working solely to put a somewhat larger dent into the grocery bill, all while knowing I objectively have no future. I cant save up for anything.

A lot of it is my fault though. Im getting older and was so badly treated at my last retail job that I started to have panic attacks, which led to me being treated worse by management. At least in my area theres zero dignity in working in retail/fast food past a certain age and people are very outspoken about it.

My last job was briefly working in fast food and on a daily basis I was made fun of by customers and coworkers. It doesnt excuse the pickiness but considering my other mental health issues, its a lot to deal with.

CRON posted...

A lot of it is my fault though. Im getting older and was so badly treated at my last retail job that I started to have panic attacks, which led to me being treated worse by management. At least in my area theres zero dignity in working in retail/fast food past a certain age and people are very outspoken about it.

Man what part of that is your fault? Panic attacks are serious and you should never feel like you're at fault for dealing with them. Mental health is health, it's not an excuse and you should NEVER feel bad for taking your personal needs into consideration.

SenlinDescends posted...

Man what part of that is your fault? Panic attacks are serious and you should never feel like you're at fault for dealing with them. Mental health is health, it's not an excuse and you should NEVER feel bad for taking your personal needs into consideration.

Because Im too old for that kind of thing and need to suck it up and just work. Im capable, its just between the existing problems and objective hopelessness, its tough.

CRON posted...

Because Im too old for that kind of thing and need to suck it up and just work. Im capable, its just between the existing problems and objective hopelessness, its tough.

Nah bro. I'm going through the same thing. I'm 37. You're not too old. These are things that happen to people at all ages. It's not a failure. It's not something you can just power through.

Your frustration and depression and feelings of hopelessness are completely understandable - maybe even justified, I certainly don't know your situation enough to make a call there. But from what you are saying they are NOT your fault. You are a victim.

Message me if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.

Sounds like youre too hard on yourself and feel your situation is hopeless so why bother Im guessing?

Realistically your situation with both your mom and yourself can still be saved by taking any job, applying for assistance, and or doing small things to temporarily get yourself further out of the hole like donating plasma. Im sure being homeless is a lot worse than caring about what people think of what jobs you have because of your age.

If you want to work outside of retail and fast food there are nursing homes every where. Not a single town doesnt have one within 10 miles. Smaller towns often will train you to be a cna and pay you while youre doing it. Takes 2 months and they will hire anyone. Just call all of them and ask if they train to be a cna. After you became official youll be making at least $12 hr. After 6 months you can apply for a job with an agency and make $18-26 a hour making youre own schedule helping out different nursing homes.

CRON posted...

Getting on assistance in my state is very difficult and time-consuming unless youre a comically destitute parent of multiple children. Weve tried in the past to no avail.

Hmm. I don't know how long ago you tried or how often you've done it but all I can say is keep trying man. Maybe you had some information wrong in the past. It sucks that it can be unnecessarily difficult to provide the necessary information

emblem-man posted...

Hmm. I don't know how long ago you tried or how often you've done it but all I can say is keep trying man. Maybe you had some information wrong in the past. It sucks that it can be unnecessarily difficult to provide the necessary information

I don't know where OP lives, but I can say living in Oregon, assistance is awful. It took over half a year to get on food stamps, and there's nothing available for rental or internet assistance, or anything else really.

Theres also work from home jobs that will hire and train you with no experience. Join a Facebook group and reach out related to WFH jobs. They will help you find one. The pay isnt amazing, but its typically above minimum wage and comparable to other smaller jobs in the area. Even if you dont have internet I think some of them have their own network they let you connect to.

Do you have a bachelors degree in anything?

If so, you could try teaching English online with a popular company. They pay ok and you can make your own hours, usually very early in the morning.

it got me through some very rough times a few years ago, and it is a fun job to work with kids.

Look for government programs in your area to help. I am case worker and one issue is that people just don't know my role exist. So if you are American go online and look for these places. Also you can try going to the local disability board. Many times people there can point you to one other services. But that isn't a Guarantee, so you might what to only do that we you are sure you are to get there and back. Or call.

Also TC of you willing to share your education details we might can help more. Don't feel pressure to do this if it makes you feel unsafe.

The only thing that can make your situation actually hopeless is if you arent willing to keep trying to change it.

_____Cait posted...

Do you have a bachelors degree in anything?

cjsdowg posted...

Also TC of you willing to share your education details we might can help more. Don't feel pressure to do this if it makes you feel unsafe.

I only have a HS diploma and a now-irrelevant mobile tech cert. I've never been able to afford any kind of college and I'm too dumb for it. Even the most entry-level non-crappy jobs in my area require a bachelor's degree. I'm also unable to competently drive that well as I get anxious a lot. This makes traveling for work difficult, since public transportation in my area sucks and exists mainly for people to go to and from two large nearby cities.

Tenlaar posted...

The only thing that can make your situation actually hopeless is if you arent willing to keep trying to change it.

I don't know how else I can articulate this but between my mental health, physical health, worsening financial situation and lack of prospects, there's no hope. There's nothing I can do to improve my situation considering how everything intersects and I can't handle one problem without making another problem worse.

Tc go to a community College and get financial aid. You can more then you need and it will cover living a little bit. Also I can help with access to things like jobs. There is work study and contacts. Not make this a habit but this something that can pull you out of this really bad place . Most schools have online classes so travel wouldn't be an issue

What do you guys think ? I know this far out there and going to build debt. But I think it can be helpful. But I would like others view on this

cjsdowg posted...

Tc go to a community College and get financial aid. You can more then you need and it will cover living a little bit. Also I can help with access to things like jobs. There is work study and contacts. Not make this a habit but this something that can pull you out of this really bad place . Most schools have online classes so travel wouldn't be an issue

What do you guys think ? I know this far out there and going to build debt. But I think it can be helpful. But I would like others view on this

When I graduated HS I applied to my local CC but they have a prerequisite math class and I'm notoriously dumb when it comes to math. I briefly considered reapplying a year or two ago but they only offer select remote classes. I'm already in a lot of debt and can't afford to pay any more bills.

Everything costs money. Money I don't have, money I can't make. I can't stress this enough, this is a living nightmare. It doesn't seem like there's anything I can do. I can't even vent about it to my mother because she views me as a burden and keeps telling me to stop being selfish. I'm too old for this. This is all so pathetic.

Depending on your state there should be more around. And they have remiddal[sp] classes to help you get to where you need to me. I have seen slow people make leaps with the help of good CC. Remember these people working there for the most part love teaching and want to help.

TC wants to vent and feels like everything is hopeless. I really hope after hes done venting he takes some of the good advice given here.

You keep mentioning "in your area", where exactly do you live? City? Rural?

And due if you need to get a fast food job, fuck all that "no dignity in a fast food job". A job is a job. Doesn't matter how old you are. And also, fuck what other people think if they are gonna start judging you based on your job.

Also, get that tooth fixed. Even if you can't afford it now, negotiate with your dentist office or work out a payment plan of some sort. Being in debt is better than being dead.

Where do you live?

Have you gone to food pantries?

What's stopping you from joining the military? Do your years and get out. Have them pay for your college and reset your life. If it's an option enlist.

Slaya4 posted...

What's stopping you from joining the military? Do your years and get out. Have them pay for your college and reset your life. If it's an option enlist.

Do this if you can.

CRON posted...

Tooth abscess. I cant afford to go to a dentist and the amount of procedures needed are just too expensive and unattainable.

I get what you mean but this is a very bad situation that cannot get better.

Dude I'm sure every state has a dental school where they do very inexpensive to free work. It gets them experience and gets the issue taken care of for the patient. Plus I'm always hearing about dentists having an open clinic for people that can't afford the care. You just need to look up the resources in your area because they're there.

Yeah, if you post where you live, we can look up local resources to help.

What government assistance have you applied for?

You are going to need a job and fast because it will only get worse if you do nothing about it. I would recommend joining the millitary if nothing else works out.

You also need to see a dentist. Tooth abscess can kill you if it travels to your brain.

Are you a caretaker for your mother (or she for you)? Is either of you eligible for disability benefits? Can you go to the ER for your tooth? Are there any charitable churches in your area? You dont have to be a member of the faith.

How are you living? How are you paying for whatever allows you to access the internet to post here?

I don't know if this is a good or a bad idea because im not overly familiar with it, but maybe try telling your story on a crowdfunding platform (gofundme etc)? That might help if people understand your situation and are willing to give. The worst that can happen there is it doesn't happen, so i'd give it a shot.