Current Events > Describe the worst co-worker you ever had

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Seaman_Prime posted...

All of themMy job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fuckers around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

I cant believe I missed this lol. What a classic

he was just dumb. he told me i couldn't pick him up if he shifted all his weight to his feet, and i never gave him the chance to prove it.

once he heard the words 'boot sector virus' he started injecting it into every conversation he could. anything about computers, had to look out for boot sector viruses, had to prevent em. maybe the bug is because of a boot sector virus.

couldn't sing. sang constantly.

I got another 2 for my current job. I didnt work with him more than once thankfully, but this one guy would constantly creep on female coworkers, smelled horrible, punched another coworker, even got caught deeding at work. idk if it was the punching or the deeding but dude got fired for one of those >_>

Another guy got caught sexting a 15yo patient he previously had. Obviously he was let go after that.

A woman who has tried to slap my phone out of my hands. Flicked the back of my neck, punched me in the chest, and constantly jabs me in the ribs with her finger. All to try and be funny

I've got two who are terrible for their own reasons.

First guy is an idea man whose ideas are always fucking stupid. They either involve stupidly intensive renovations, or they make the workload harder, or they're so pie-in-the-sky and beyond our budget that they're never gonna happen.

I work in a laundry, and we have this big podium where we put the dirty laundry - a lot of the time we have to spill it out onto the floor, but we know where the dirty stuff is. He wants to get rid of that podium and lay some linoleum down, and he wants to move the sorting to the very back of the shed away from the washing machines.

Just today we moved that podium out of the way because of some corporate stooges who don't even work here, and the sorting area was put at the back of the shed away from the washing machines. The workload is already that much fucking worse. And this motherfucker had the audacity to COMPLAIN about how it's not ideal, even if he still wants to get rid of the podium which isn't even being used rn. He talks about moving the washers and dryers around without taking the gas/electricity routing into account, and I'm absolutely sick of it.

And yet, he means well. It's annoying, but he genuinely believes that his harebrained ideas would make things better.

Enter coworker #2.

This guy is just a fuckwit. He plays pranks on people to rile them up, including our customers.

One time, he gloated to me about how he stirred up one of our customers by pretending he didn't bring all their pillowcases. He was laughing about how this guy was following him to and from the van, saying he needed pillowcases, until my coworker emptied the entire van and "found" the other bag of pillowcases this guy wanted.

I can get behind a bit of banter, even if I think this guy is the sort of jackass who gets off on people not liking him. But I really dislike him not just because he's a loathsome dickhead, but because he will put his own professionalism aside to bother our clients for his own amusement. What happens when someone realises he's being a jackass on purpose to fuck with them? Fuck him.

Signs onto WfH job.
Walks away from the computer until time to sign off.

Too obvious he did this shit.

She used to get upset when I'd order myself lunch and not see if she wanted to order anything. The one time that I did, she sent out an email to like ten other people asking if they wanted anything. This was before cashapp and stuff so collecting money was a pain and no one ever chipped in on tip. She was trying to make this shit take all day when I just wanted a combo number 5.

After that I never asked her again and she went to HR about it. They essentially told her to fuck off.

I worked at a big box store with a guy who would occasionally have his twin brother fill in for him, and it was always on days we had the most work. I figured it out rather quickly but he pretended not to know what I was talking about, which was dumb because we went to the same junior high together and that was the same routine they pulled a lot.

It didn't matter because management either didn't know or didn't care, so he got away with it. It would have been a fine setup, aside from the envy I had for him, except his brother simply wasn't good at anything and needed his hand held on top of the big workload we already had. Really made for some shitty times at an already shitty job.