Current Events > Super Mario, Luigi, Captain Toad, Wario or Waluigi. You can only save one

(+) Yeah! (+)

You're walking along one day thinking about what to have for dinner this weekend when you hear strange noises coming from a strange room. In an uncharacteristic display of bravery you enter the room and are shocked by what you see inside.

5 cages hang suspended in the air, each containing a different helpless person. Mario, Luigi, Captain Toad, Wario and Waluigi. The cages are all slowly lowering towards a pit of molten lava that will kill them in agony once they reach the bottom.

Then you look across the room and see 5 levers spread across the wall, each one an exactly equal distance from you. Each lever clearly activates the mechanism that lowers and raises their respective cage. The problem is that they are all such a distance apart from each other. So while you could easily reach 1, by the time you flipped it, the other 4 victims would have died before you could get close to the second.

In the middle of the room on the floor you see Yoshi's half eaten corpse. It's clear Bowser made captive Mario watch as he ate Yoshi alive in front of him.

Luigi sighs as he looks at Yoshi's body and says "Poor dinosaur, Bowser doesn't know the indigestion he's in for!"

Captain Toad is the first to notice you and he says "Am I glad to see you! The Mario Brothers...and I...and, well, everybody...we're all trapped inside these cages! Bowser has stolen the Stars and our Princess! He's using their power to create his own world where he will marry her! We gotta stop him!"

Mario jumps up and down as he excitedly yells: "Mama Mia! We still have a chance to savea the princess! Heya stranger! It's-a-me! Mario! Open this cage and let's-a-go!"

Waluigi tries to say something but is interupted by Wario who loudly shouts "C'mon kid! Save me! I'm a nice guy! You won't regret it! I promise you! These other guys? They're all wieners! Nyah! Trust me"

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/0/9/AAZiH8AADtKR.jpg

How do you react?
Who do you save?

Luigi just has to stand there, while everyone else dies somehow.

Waluigi. Now is his chance to be the main character after all these years

https://youtu.be/xhZ6zKuZFY0

Captain Toad getting no love

Waluigi for sure

Luigi

I main WaLuigi so Ill go with my boy

Whomever has the fewest 1-Ups remaining...

I mean has Waluligi ever had a 1-up?

Damn it. Hit toad when I meant Wario.

Though it depends. If these where real people I'd go Luigi. But just based on who I like more as a game character wario

Wario's my boy. He's got a bright future in the go-kart game.

This scenario is absolute bollocks because I already knew what I was having for dinner tonight and I already knew what I was having for dinner last night because I was at a wedding and I got to choose my meal option long in advance, so the pretense that I would be thinking about what to have for dinner this weekend is just... not accurate to reality and therefore I could not under any circumstances decide which of those characters I would save.

FigureOfSpeech posted...

This scenario is absolute bollocks because I already knew what I was having for dinner tonight and I already knew what I was having for dinner last night because I was at a wedding and I got to choose my meal option long in advance, so the pretense that I would be thinking about what to have for dinner this weekend is just... not accurate to reality and therefore I could not under any circumstances decide which of those characters I would save.

Imagine still not knowing how scenarios work.

I hope they all die because I fucking loathe Nintendo.

Shotgunnova posted...

Wario's my boy. He's got a bright future in the go-kart game.

I miss the Wario land games. Wario ware is cool and all but it ain't the same

FigureOfSpeech posted...

and I got to choose my meal option

Sounds like you were thinking about what you were going to have for me

I'd save Wario. I don't want to save those other guys. They are a bunch of wieners.

Don't need to save Wario. Based solely on the fact that he does not feel like dying, Wario is invincible. Attempts to kill him only result in some kartoony masochistic version of a power up. This trap will be his human fireball form.

The_Korey posted...

Don't need to save Wario. Based solely on the fact that he does not feel like dying, Wario is invincible. Attempts to kill him only result in some kartoony masochistic version of a power up. This trap will be his human fireball form.

Wasn't that only true for 2 of his Wario land games. Well I never played the one on the win.

Wario is the best Mario character, and this is a hill I will die on.

K181 posted...

Wario is the best Mario character, and this is a hill I will die on.

Yes. I do wish though they'd make another warioland game with waluigi as a second player character. He deserves to be in something that's not a Mario sports game.

Look around to make sure there is no Yoshi while the others burn.

Sufferedphoneix posted...

Yes. I do wish though they'd make another warioland game with waluigi as a second player character. He deserves to be in something that's not a Mario sports game.

Better yet, I want a Super Wario Odyssey.

K181 posted...

Better yet, I want a Super Wario Odyssey.

Anything that's a regular game. As said Wario we're is fun but it's just a good game for wasting time.

Sufferedphoneix posted...

Damn it. Hit toad when I meant Wario.

The only love Captain Toad got in the entire topic was by mistake

That's so sad:(

Sufferedphoneix posted...

Wasn't that only true for 2 of his Wario land games. Well I never played the one on the win.

It's kanon. They only gave him a health bar for gameplay reasons, as fans whined that playing as an invincible powerhouse made the games too easy.

I don't know, being suspended in lava and unable to die sounds like hell.

It literally was hell in Oblivion

The kage will melt. And even if it doesn't, Wario will eventually be reduced to ashes and some how regenerate like he always does.

The_Korey posted...

The kage will melt. And even if it doesn't, Wario will eventually be reduced to ashes and some how regenerate like he always does.

Sounds more like William Afton

pfh1001 posted...

I hope they all die because I fucking loathe Nintendo.

Perfect comment Sir. I salute you.

I too hate, loathe and detest Nintendo with every fibre of my being.

They can all die.

The_Korey posted...

It's kanon. They only gave him a health bar for gameplay reasons, as fans whined that playing as an invincible powerhouse made the games too easy.

They made it hard in other ways. Games was more about finding secret paths. Which the original had too but it wasn't as necessary

None. I'll save Princess Peach.

CassandraCroft posted...

Perfect comment Sir. I salute you.

I too hate, loathe and detest Nintendo with every fibre of my being.

They can all die.

jeez :/