Current Events > Reminder that confident people didn't always start that way

(+) Yeah! (+)

Not every person with 0 confidence started that way either.

Not every person with 0 confidence started that way either.

Not every person with 0 confidence started that way either.

I actually think its imperative to receive positive feedback to gain confidence. If you dont already have a support system or someone that roots for you, youre gonna have a hard time gaining confidence.

In other words:

Doesn't have to be that. You can just MAKE shit go the way you want, and then you'll think "I did that myself. I can do anything now"

The thing about confidence is you need something to back it up. Status, a valued achievement, etc

if you have nothing you just look like a massive tool acting the wrong way

I dont believe this to be true at all.

How people react to you and your actions will always shape your perspective.

Like, if you need confidence in public speaking, you cant just get confidence if the audience is judging you as you speak. Itll have the inverse effect.

The thing about confidence is you need something to back it up. Status, a valued achievement, etc

if you have nothing you just look like a massive tool acting the wrong way

My whole point is that you GET the thing to back it up yourself. That brings the confidence with it

I wasn't talking about anything specific, just in general. of course some things won't be that way. but if you go to the gym and work hard as fuck, build muscle and lose weight, you know YOU did that and you don't even need anyone else to tell you so

Not every person with 0 confidence started that way either.

I feel were skipping a step.

Theoretically, someone without confidence believes they cant do something or get something.

Youre saying once you get something, youll be confident.

But the fact someone lacks confidence means they cant or wont get the thing. Thats the issue.

Youre saying something similar to find something that brings joy to a depressed person. The problem is exactly that they cant or wont find joy in things.

Your gym example. Someone can go to the gym and work out. Now what? How will they gain confidence? I would suspect they start gaining confidence when their effort is acknowledged by others. Either by compliments or being able to help physically with things for others.

I think gaining confidence is nearly impossible to do without outside affirmation.

Hopefully that made more sense. If you still dont necessarily agree, thats cool. Just wanted to elaborate my thoughts. I like your topic.

Point taken, but you can build yourself back up again

Well you say that, buuuuut...

Nothin to it but to do it. I know that's easier said than done, but it's true

It is not. Building confidence isn't accomplished the same way for everyone, and you're glossing over serious problems some people might have that prevent them from building confidence, and that they can't solve by themselves.

Some peoples paths are easier because they're around more supportive people tho. It's hard to gain confidence when everyone around you is constantly bringing up things you're long past as a person. You gotta cut those people out before you can get anywhere. Even if they're the people who raised you

Some of us have had failure drilled into us.

Someone in your position I'm not super sure what to say. Gym helped me a lot, have you tried that

I know you have had a lot happen, but maybe it would help some

I agree that it can be a combination of a lot of little things to slowly build confidence. You have to start feeling better about appearance, communication, social skills... It all takes work but I also think it can slowly get better. It worked for me and many people I know.

I would wager that its possible to try gaining confidence while still acknowledging other people play a large role on your confidences success.

Dunno why you keep bringing up doing nothing. :/

I would wager that its possible to try gaining confidence while still acknowledging other people play a large role on your confidences success.

Dunno why you keep bringing up doing nothing. :/

What did the gym help you with? I love my body (minus the bald) but others will think it's not the ideal

Damn near everything. It helped my state of mind, made me feel like I could protect myself, made me feel (and it just did) more sexually attractive, made me more assertive. But quiting drinking came before. I just suggest that because it made such a big difference for me

Alright

Ah yeah

I don't think getting fit would make much of a difference for me

I learned more philosophy than most people ever will and it just made me obnoxious to other ppl. I do my analytics for the ladies but you know the continental stuff is for my boys

I expected something better than dismissiveness from you.

I used to be more confident when I was younger and then saw how good people were at everything (including games) so I lost my confidence

I was accepting what you were saying, not dismissing it. My bad

O

Won't know until you try

You can do that, too

Haha yeah. I am pretty confident already. I don't need that "I'm bigger than you" energy in my life. No man is an island etc

It already happened with intellectualism <_<

[citation needed]

The part where I said I did it