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Board 8 > Could Donkey Kong defeat Ezio Auditore da Firenze in a fight?

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rwlh
08/01/22 6:22:08 PM
#1:


Arguments for Ezio:
  • he's a real pro at hiding and sneaking and eliminating targets through stealth
  • he has all sorts of potent equipment: melee weapons, crossbows, bombs, etc.; he's good at using whatever he can find
  • he's quick and nimble when he needs to be, he can jump through the air, and climb up trees


Arguments for DK:
  • I don't think they had giant apes running around in 15th-century Italy, is Ezio really going to know how to take him down?
  • he's way more durable than a standard human, and he packs much harder punches too
  • if DK shoots Ezio, it's gonna hurt


Last topic Barkley dunked his way to a victory through the power of slamjam. Today is a stealthy character. We haven't really seen how DK handles stealthy characters. For the sake of discussion, we can probably assume the terrain is such that it gives Ezio some room to be hidden and sneaky (though you can ignore this if you really want). Who wins between ape and assassin?
None
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#2
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X_Dante_X
08/01/22 6:26:13 PM
#3:


donkey kong solos

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Leonhart4
08/01/22 6:42:54 PM
#4:


It's entirely dependent on how stealthy Ezio can be. I think he can pull it off though.

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ChaosTonyV4
08/01/22 7:05:06 PM
#5:


Ezio hits DK with the dart and then backstabs him while hes fighting the other Kongs.

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Zylothewolf
08/01/22 7:24:37 PM
#6:


https://board8.fandom.com/wiki/(3)Donkey_Kong_vs._King_K._Rool_vs_(6)Ezio_Auditore_da_Firenze_vs._Rodrigo_Borgia_2011 hey who remembers how debatable this match was?

Ill have to go with Ezio. If I think I can win over an orangutang with only a sword, then a trained assassin has to be able to take DK

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rwlh
08/01/22 9:35:03 PM
#7:


DK might have experience with KREMLING ASSASSINS
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NFUN
08/01/22 9:38:11 PM
#8:


g okykodln onoess

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Johnbobb
08/01/22 10:16:24 PM
#9:


assassino

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BlueCrystalTear
08/01/22 10:26:37 PM
#10:


DK could just keep pounding the ground and make it very difficult for Ezio to poison him. But Ezio could probably do something from a distance. It's a likely tossup that could go either way.

Zylothewolf posted...
If I think I can win over an orangutan with only a sword, then a trained assassin has to be able to take DK
Right, but unlike that topic, DK is engaged in the fight and has experience with, uh, gorilla warfare that most apes don't have.

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LiquidOshawott
08/01/22 10:29:45 PM
#11:


I mean Ezio has a gun and a crossbow too

so if he shoots DK, its probably gonna hurt too

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Leonhart4
08/01/22 10:33:52 PM
#12:


BlueCrystalTear posted...
DK could just keep pounding the ground and make it very difficult for Ezio to poison him. But Ezio could probably do something from a distance. It's a likely tossup that could go either way.

Unless the fight takes place in a wide open field with nothing for Ezio to climb or hide behind, the ground pound probably won't affect him that much

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rwlh
08/02/22 10:17:10 AM
#13:


lol gorilla warfare, I'm shocked nobody's made that pun in all of these topics yet!
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swirIdude
08/02/22 12:57:32 PM
#14:


It entirely depends on whether the environment allows a lot of opportunities for Ezio to be stealthy, because DK would punch the shit out of him if they get into direct combat. I'm voting DK for that reason.

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ZeeksFire
08/02/22 2:17:35 PM
#15:


This isn't no items final destination, both their worlds would have places to hide.
Ezio
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Leonhart4
08/02/22 2:32:20 PM
#16:


Yeah, there's no way Ezio engages in direct combat or puts himself in a position where he doesn't have terrain to use to his advantage.

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rwlh
08/02/22 9:16:08 PM
#17:


I think I need a real marquee matchup for DK.
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Leonhart4
08/02/22 9:18:22 PM
#18:


rwlh posted...
I think I need a real marquee matchup for DK.

The problem is that he'd get wrecked by some of the bigger name characters like Samus or Mega Man

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LiquidOshawott
08/02/22 9:24:01 PM
#19:


How about

Nominate Funky Kong

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rwlh
08/02/22 9:25:43 PM
#20:


Funky Kong was actually nominated but I haven't used the nomination because I didn't think Funky was a fighter.
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NFUN
08/02/22 9:43:17 PM
#21:


rwlh posted...
Funky Kong was actually nominated but I haven't used the nomination because I didn't think Funky was a fighter.
his assets in combat are his lack of style and grace, and his funny face

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MZero
08/02/22 9:45:26 PM
#22:


Ezio is a skilled assassin and intelligence is not DK's strong suit. Ezio should be able to outsmart him and take him down pretty easily

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LiquidOshawott
08/02/22 9:49:34 PM
#23:


Could also just embrace the silliness and do like, DK vs Rocky Balboa

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Leonhart4
08/02/22 10:09:01 PM
#24:


NFUN posted...
his assets in combat are his lack of style and grace, and his funny face

how dare you conflate Funky Kong with Lanky Kong

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NFUN
08/02/22 10:13:56 PM
#25:


my mistake

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Kamekguy
08/02/22 11:42:22 PM
#26:


Uh. Donkey Kong's coconuts have homing properties. Like, really aggressive, poorly programmed, "move at a 90 degree angle to hit this nearby bee" homing propertied. Made by Funky.

DK's survived being shot at point blank by a cannon repeatedly and lives on an island with wasps larger than he is. Hell, Diddy gets shot by K Rool's poison and he gets over it in like 15 seconds, and Dixie outright trawls through a poison gas pipeline. I think DK can get stabbed once and then crush man's skull. Ezio's gonna be really upset that his sure kill doesn't immediately work, and then will get hit in the face with a magical physics-defying coconut. It will hurt. And then so will the rest of his body when DK finds him.

Donkey Kong

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Leonhart4
08/03/22 6:24:21 AM
#27:


This post basically argues DK is unkillable so he should win every fight

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Dantezoid
08/03/22 7:20:58 AM
#28:


Well maybe he is

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KamikazePotato
08/03/22 7:46:16 AM
#29:


I think without guns DK definitely wins this, but guns do tip the scales

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ChaosTonyV4
08/03/22 3:13:41 PM
#30:


Ezio can parry/counter any melee attack (its been awhile since I played it, but I dont think ACII 1-3 even have those must dodge attacks.

Therefore, Ezio is untouchable.

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Kamekguy
08/03/22 8:24:04 PM
#31:


I hope DK is unkillable. I would be sad if he died.

But nah, more just bringing up poison and gun resistance feats. I do think "sword with enough force" beats him. I just think "conventional renaissance weapons with finesse and poison and stabbing" ain't it.

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Hbthebattle
08/03/22 8:26:45 PM
#32:


ChaosTonyV4 posted...
Ezio can parry/counter any melee attack (its been awhile since I played it, but I dont think ACII 1-3 even have those must dodge attacks.

Therefore, Ezio is untouchable.
coconuts arent exactly melee

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Hbthebattle
08/03/22 8:27:02 PM
#33:


but yeah this seems solidly DK

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Hbthebattle
08/03/22 8:27:59 PM
#34:


rwlh posted...
I think I need a real marquee matchup for DK.
Little Mac

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Lopen
08/03/22 8:43:35 PM
#35:


Ezio should win this on most terrains, including in the jungle which is where I'd expect a DK assassination attempt to take place.

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rwlh
08/03/22 9:23:43 PM
#36:


Somebody nominated a potentially interesting (and unexpected) Kong a while back. That will likely be the next topic. I'll add other nominations to the list though!
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ChaosTonyV4
08/03/22 10:23:07 PM
#37:


Nominate Max from Life is Strange

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Crescent-Moon
08/04/22 1:00:45 PM
#38:


Lopen posted...
Ezio should win this on most terrains, including in the jungle which is where I'd expect a DK assassination attempt to take place.


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Steiner
08/04/22 1:08:34 PM
#39:


Leonhart4 posted...
This post basically argues DK is unkillable so he should win every fight

yeah i thought it was good too

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