Current Events > I lost 5 lbs but still feel discouraged

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im 52

Starting weight before Covid: 114lbs
4 months later and before baby: 121 lbs - eh everyone gained weight wfh
1 month after giving birth: 127 lbs - neat I didnt gain much during pregnancy
3 months after birth: 131 lbs - crap I should eat better and exercise, failed
8 months after birth (last December): 136 lbs - fml what did I do

My eating habits have been terrible since wfh and worse with a baby. I just dont have the energy and kept ordering takeout. In December when I weighed myself at the doctor and saw the number, it hit me hard and I really started to diet.

Ive lost 5 lbs in a month. Back to 131 which I was last July. I started to diet then but I tried keto and IF and it wasnt sustainable. Now Im on a 1200 calorie diet (wouldnt recommend unless youre a shorty like me)

My goal is 120 lbs but ideal would be 115 and it seems like such a long road ahead. Im always hungry and cranky. I work 9-10 hours a day then have a baby to take care of in the evening and I dont have the energy to cook most of the time so forget any of the fad diets. Definitely no time or energy to exercise. Maybe some walks here and there. So I just try and count calories.

I lost 5 lbs but I just undid the damage to myself after I first made a point of losing weight back in July. So I dont feel like Ive made real progress. Mad at myself for gaining so much after baby.

1. 130 is not heavy.

2. Dont pay attention to the number on a scae

3. Make it your goal to gain muscle and weigh 140

Stress, lack of sleep, and if you are still breastfeeding you still are eating more than you normally would.

Dont be too hard on yourself. You will get back to your desired weight in time.

I am not nearly as familiar with female diets, especially after giving birth, but I feel like 1200 calories is really low, maybe you could bump that up? The more you eat, the less hungry you feel, the easier it is to stick to a diet. You can offset additional calories by adding in some gym time/cardio also

My wife had a baby around the same time as you, she just got back to pre baby weight... but she had the advantage of a baby sucking the calories out of her boob. if youve been doing formula from the start then thats a huge disadvantage - all the new baby stress but none of the free calorie drain

One thing that has helped me as a dad eat better: once we started baby-led weaning, i mostly eat what the baby eats. He eats clean af, so thats usually a protein and veggies, or starch and veggies, etc. I cheat plenty, but usually i can just remind myself that its crazy to make just a baby sized of broccoli.

I still havent figured when to exercise tho

Slower progress is always more sustainable in the long run than something that makes you feel terrible.

ekie posted...

1. 130 is not heavy.

2. Dont pay attention to the number on a scae

3. Make it your goal to gain muscle and weigh 140

Im 52 and its all gone to my belly and face. My arms and legs still look the same. I have a hormonal condition that makes weight gain not very attractive on me. I dont have time to worry about muscle gain

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I do have an Apple Watch and I try to take breaks from my desk to go on a 30-40 min walk most days. But these days Im slammed at work and too tired to take baby on a stroll after. I do pretty much most of the household chores though. And chasing and lifting a baby.

AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

I am not nearly as familiar with female diets, especially after giving birth, but I feel like 1200 calories is really low, maybe you could bump that up? You can offset additional calories by adding in some gym time/cardio also

As a woman at 52 my maintenance calories are around 1500 which makes dieting even harder. One extra snack can mess up my day and a cheat meal can ruin my whole week.

g980 posted...

My wife had a baby around the same time as you, she just got back to pre baby weight... but she had the advantage of a baby sucking the calories out of her boob. if youve been doing formula from the start then thats a huge disadvantage - all the new baby stress but none of the free calorie drain

One thing that has helped me as a dad eat better: once we started baby-led weaning, i mostly eat what the baby eats. He eats clean af, so thats usually a protein and veggies, or starch and veggies, etc. I cheat plenty, but usually i can just remind myself that its crazy to make just a baby sized of broccoli.

I still havent figured when to exercise tho

Yeah no breastfeeding so no calorie loss. Baby is not a fan of solids though I keep trying to incorporate new foods. But that makes it hard too because I have to worry about her diet and mine. I do plan on having her try some of the foods I make myself. Tonight Im making turkey bolognese on spaghetti squash. I think shell hate it but eh just gotta keep trying

Oh and I dont drink anything sugary. Just water. But I dont follow any diet. I try to batch cook healthy foods on Sundays but Ill leave room for snacks like cookies or dark chocolate so I dont hate life. Last week I made chicken teriyaki that I would eat with veggies. The week before I made honey chipotle chicken salads. But maybe Ill eat fast food on some days and just make sure my calories for the rest of the day make up for it.

It's ok my mom was 300 lbs after she had me!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thank you, I honestly really appreciate the encouragement. Youre right, I have been hard on myself. When I posted this, I think I was feeling overly sensitive. When you go on mom/parenting subreddits its always filled with women talking about how all their weight melted off by the 9 month mark (9 months in 9 months out kind of comments) and here I am at 9 months still carrying the baby weight and more.

And yeah sweets are my weakness. Of course Girl Scouts had to knock on our door over the weekend and of course I had to buy Lemonades but I at least can manage eating 2 a day and not more.

DocileOrangeCup posted...

It's ok my mom was 300 lbs after she had me!

Oh wow! Thats rough. My mom gained a lot of weight after kids and never lost it. She always struggled after that and tried various yo-yo diets. I dont want that to be me.

I hope you can get it turned around so you feel better about yourself. At least you have a very firm grasp on what makes you you when it comes to your body and health, although I wonder if sometimes that level of awareness can just add to the stress.

Anyway, I don't have any tips or anything. I'll just say I still think you're cool. :-P

DocileOrangeCup posted...

It's ok my mom was 300 lbs after she had me!

What did you do to your poor mom??!?! (JK :P)

Cleo I know next to nothing about dieting/weight loss or gain, especially female issues, but it sounds like you've done a lot already which is awesome!
Don't know if it helps but focusing on the smaller 'goals' you achieve, like having no more than two sugar snacks/sweets a day or eating non salty food for three days might help (rather than the longer goal of weight). Don't be ashamed to put up a chart to keep track of these things :)

g980 posted...

My wife had a baby around the same time as you, she just got back to pre baby weight... but she had the advantage of a baby sucking the calories out of her boob. if youve been doing formula from the start then thats a huge disadvantage - all the new baby stress but none of the free calorie drain

One thing that has helped me as a dad eat better: once we started baby-led weaning, i mostly eat what the baby eats. He eats clean af, so thats usually a protein and veggies, or starch and veggies, etc. I cheat plenty, but usually i can just remind myself that its crazy to make just a baby sized of broccoli.

I still havent figured when to exercise tho

The women I know all credit breatsfeeding as a way to accelerate the weight loss. Not all women can mange breast feeding though. Those that can't have said they have learned to be patient and workout constantly or indifferent are about it. Childbirth is in no way easy, yet women do it every day.

There's a whole hormonal reworking that goes on.

Yah diet and exercise sucks sometimes but it's a necessary to not be a fat ass

I like to keep it simple.

Get up early workout for 20 minutes(body weight, weights, stationary bike, walking/jogging/swimming, treadmill, etc. Don't do all of them but find what works for you)

Eat less, but enough to get you through, make your food and snacks, bring them with you incase you need one and its more controlled eating versus going out to get something.

Go to bed earlier.

Good luck on your journey!

brestugo posted...

The women I know all credit breatsfeeding as a way to accelerate the weight loss. Not all women can mange breast feeding though. Those that can't have said they have learned to be patient and workout constantly or indifferent are about it. Childbirth is in no way easy, yet women do it every day.

There's a whole hormonal reworking that goes on.

Every woman and every baby is different honestly. Some women lose weight rapidly while breastfeeding and cannot gain, others keep on an extra 10 pounds or so and cannot lose them no matter what as long as they're nursing.

Bottom line is, I wouldn't worry too much what the number on the scale says until you've been done having babies and breastfeeding for some time. It's going to do funny things and it's not worth stressing over, as long as you're feeling healthy and not gaining/losing too much too fast.

People hate on body dysmorphia, but mine does a good job of keeping me in check. Like I'll look in the mirror and see a fat piece of shit if my abs don't show. Then I'll get motivated to cut weight until I get back there. It's probably not mentally healthy, but it works.

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement! Im starting to feel a lot better. I can feel my clothes fitting different finally. I still have a long way to go but my pooch has reduced a bit. Im probably steadily losing 1 lb a week and its getting easier.

My husband has been shedding weight as well, hes down 8 lbs and thats from us ordering out less. Hes looking pretty damn fine actually.

Cleo_II posted...

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement! Im starting to feel a lot better. I can feel my clothes fitting different finally. I still have a long way to go but my pooch has reduced a bit. Im probably steadily losing 1 lb a week and its getting easier.

Yay!!!!!! Good work and keep the "progress not perfection" mentality

My husband has been shedding weight as well, hes down 8 lbs and thats from us ordering out less. Hes looking pretty damn fine actually.

Ooh.. bow chicka wow wow.. your little girl is about to get a baby sibling!!

I haven't really been trying to lose weight but I have been because I've been eating less candy and eating out less.

I wonder how much eating out affects your weight because I don't keep track of those calories at all, especially when it's somewhere local.

Ruvan22 posted...

Yay!!!!!! Good work and keep the "progress not perfection" mentality

Ooh.. bow chicka wow wow.. your little girl is about to get a baby sibling!!

Oh hell no on more babies lol I think were good. Besides I cant get pregnant naturally anyway. So lots of free sex for us!

Shishiwakamaru posted...

I haven't really been trying to lose weight but I have been because I've been eating less candy and eating out less.

I wonder how much eating out affects your weight because I don't keep track of those calories at all, especially when it's somewhere local.

It probably has a lot to do with it. My husband hasnt been counting calories at all. He just weighed himself the other day and was genuinely surprised at how much he lost.

Im 57 and was 140 lbs before my kids. Now Im 122 lbs and maintain that weight without working out. However, I never eat out. I do not buy ready made foods ever. I only drink water or unsweetened tea.

My kids both have unusual allergies (tomatoes, potatoes and peppers) so it makes it easier to never cheat and order out. If I do and an allergen is in the food, Ill lose a night of sleep with them vomiting until its bile. They also have a dairy intolerance so I dont use cheese in my cooking, although at times I will use butter sparingly.

That being said Ive gotten good at making quick from scratch meals. Always have frozen vegetables that you can steam. I use rice over pasta (its low fodmap so it agrees with me better than pasta). You can get a rice cooker to make it even easier (a good Japanese one). Pan cooked chicken is easy - a little bit of olive oil, salt & pepper on the chicken, sear both sides and then cover and wait. I bake meatballs so after mixing and rolling them, its another put in the oven and wait thing. Slow cooked pork is also easy (I do make a gravy with the drippings so that is the most work intensive part). The pork i sear with some salt, pepper and rosemary and then put it in the crockpot fat side down with a couple tablespoons of cooking wine and water all day on low.

The hardest part is getting a few things down that you can make without a lot of effort.

Cuticrusader09 posted...

Im 57 and was 140 lbs before my kids. Now Im 122 lbs and maintain that weight without working out. However, I never eat out. I do not buy ready made foods ever. I only drink water or unsweetened tea.

My kids both have unusual allergies (tomatoes, potatoes and peppers) so it makes it easier to never cheat and order out. If I do and an allergen is in the food, Ill lose a night of sleep with them vomiting until its bile. They also have a dairy intolerance so I dont use cheese in my cooking, although at times I will use butter sparingly.

That being said Ive gotten good at making quick from scratch meals. Always have frozen vegetables that you can steam. I use rice over pasta (its low fodmap so it agrees with me better than pasta). You can get a rice cooker to make it even easier (a good Japanese one). Pan cooked chicken is easy - a little bit of olive oil, salt & pepper on the chicken, sear both sides and then cover and wait. I bake meatballs so after mixing and rolling them, its another put in the oven and wait thing. Slow cooked pork is also easy (I do make a gravy with the drippings so that is the most work intensive part). The pork i sear with some salt, pepper and rosemary and then put it in the crockpot fat side down with a couple tablespoons of cooking wine and water all day on low.

The hardest part is getting a few things down that you can make without a lot of effort.

Ugh managing all those allergies must be tough! Congrats on losing weight post kids. Its so hard.

Im pretty good at the cooking front and have been better at making quick and easy meals. My instant pot has been a life saver.

Ugh did my weekly weigh in and Im somehow a pound heavier. I only had one cheat meal last night so Im just wondering if maybe it threw things off overnight or Im just retaining water. I also have a cold so maybe that has something to do with it too. Other than yesterday I know from counting calories that I have been in a deficit. Guess Ill see what it looks like next week.