Current Events > Could a therapist even help with this?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Overall I am doing pretty good. I have a great life and feel good about it most of the time.

However, I spend a lot of time alone and when I do I just obsess over it non stop. Specifically I focus on being single and not in a relationship. Like I can't stop myself from thinking and focusing on only it sometimes. Now I realize being single isn't all that bad, but I've been single my entire life and all my friends are in happy and loving relationships, and it just really bums me out sometimes.

Been thinking about going to a therapist to talk about this, but I sort of feel like it wouldn't even help. Like no matter what they tell me I am still going to go home and be alone afterwards.

Sorry for the blogfaqs post.

A therapist might be able to help you identify and implement healthy ways to redirect your thoughts. If you can afford it, I would at least try a couple of sessions to see if it helps.

Go out and meet someone just ask out every girl you find attractive until it works out if you can't do that accept being alone it's pretty damn simple man grow up seriously grow up

Jefejonny posted...

Go out and meet someone just ask out every girl you find attractive until it works out if you can't do that accept being alone it's pretty damn simple man grow up seriously grow up

me too, thanks

It could have been worded better but theyre not wrong, you have to engage with people youre attracted to in order to have a chance to become intimate. The thing is youre not going to get rejected every time and the time you dont youre gonna forgot about all the times you were. Youve also just gotta trust that if someone isnt into you, theyre not trying to hurt your feelings and theyre not going to be mean about telling you unless theyre an asshole then its kinda like bullet dodged.

Thats exactly what a therapist is going to suggest, is that you find the most comfortable way to approach and engage strangers in conversation. Thats why hobby and interest groups are so strong too, it turns strangers into acquaintances with shared interests. It also sounds like youre really focused in on being single, but you should be open to forming new friendships as well, when you form a connection with someone you get access to their connections. Your possibilities expand exponentially once you get the ball rolling.

When I tried therapy several years back, this was part of what I discussed with him. He was woefully unequipped to help though.

Therapists can help you with managing your thoughts and sadness about being single, but they are not capable of changing your life circumstances or teaching you methods on how to find a partner. You say you spend a lot of time alone, which is the problem. How can you make gradual changes in your life that can lead you to spending less time alone?

AdrianBeterson posted...

Therapists can help you with managing your thoughts and sadness about being single, but they are not capable of changing your life circumstances or teaching you methods on how to find a partner. You say you spend a lot of time alone, which is the problem. How can you make gradual changes in your life that can lead you to spending less time alone?

I didn't say I am anti-social hermit.
But even being social and doing things you still go back to your house at the end of the day.

Are you likable and good looking?

Flockaveli posted...

Are you likable and good looking?

People like me and I am at least average looking.

In all seriousness when you analyze my life as a whole the fact that I have always been single is a real anomaly.

billcom6 posted...

I didn't say I am anti-social hermit.
But even being social and doing things you still go back to your house at the end of the day.

I never said you're an anti-social hermit. I responded to your OP where you deliberately said "However, I spend a lot of time alone and when I do I just obsess over it non stop."

To answer your question more directly, no, a therapist won't help you with this problem. DespondentDeity's post is pretty good regarding what can help.