Poll of the Day > Why are so many women so slow to respond to texts?

(+) Yeah! (+)

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AWinterJ posted...

Same reason you need to let us know you had Pizza. It's important.

I didnt have pizza, away with you

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Because shes getting texted by the 5 other guys trying to get in her pants.

if you text back right away, then you have to text again when they respond
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I almost never respond in a timely manner to messages, but I'm autistic and mentally ill, so one of those is probably why.

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She doesn't want to encourage more conversation. She's afraid answering you will only lead to you sending more messages. She just doesn't want to talk to you. She's probably afraid that you want ro ask her about going to this "work thing" together. She's probably avoiding the text so she won't have to deal with that. She's hoping you'll take the hint and leave her alone so that she doesn't have to make things awkward and ask you to leave her alone.

You even stated that she has told you that you're just "friendly collegues". This tells me that your actions made her feel like she had to spell this out to you, to try and discourage you from thinking there might be something else there.


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Jen0125 posted...

Why do you even know that? Why are you paying so much attention to this woman's interactions with other people and where she's going to be? That is so creepy.

I only knew about that because one of those two coworkers told me about that. Jesus stop assuming I'm like the biggest creep ever.
I would've understand that response if I posted some inappropriate shit every time I saw one of your topics.

I never even go into your topics because, well to be honest, they don't interest me and they're almost always about "OMG my bf did something lmao".

Mead posted...

Why did you feel the need to let us know the coworker is Polish

Because I've mentioned him before and in case someone remembers that useless fact.
Also I work in a workshop. We use tools such as grinders and welders. He wondered where I put the straight grinder I borrowed from him.

We have like a dozen foreigners working for us and they're all from different countries. And they're all one of the kindest people I've met.
And this Polish guy in particular is especially kind towards me.
He always offers me treats and always goes out of his way to greet me every morning.
I even wish more people were like him because I'm too often too afraid to greet people every morning.

Bugmeat posted...

She doesn't want to encourage more conversation. She's afraid answering you will only lead to you sending more messages. She just doesn't want to talk to you. She's probably afraid that you want ro ask her about going to this "work thing" together. She's probably avoiding the text so she won't have to deal with that. She's hoping you'll take the hint and leave her alone so that she doesn't have to make things awkward and ask you to leave her alone.

You even stated that she has told you that you're just "friendly collegues". This tells me that your actions made her feel like she had to spell this out to you, to try and discourage you from thinking there might be something else there.

As I've said before in this topic I'm not interested in being together with her. She has too much baggage of her own and I can't handle that.

And she can also be quite temperamental sometimes as she became so angry this one time over something and she kicked her helmet across the room in a fit of rage.
It would apparently be considered too creepy if I wanted to know the context behind that situation so I never asked why she did that.

She probably felt the need to tell that to be because I've told her before that I have Aspergers(it's actually quite common that we talk about our diagnoses and she has ADHD) and she just wanted to be clear just in case.

And I also actively try to not talk with her too much at work because I don't want her and others to think I'm being clingy towards her just because she's a woman.

Also this "work thing" is just an annual meeting we have at work, nothing particularly fancy.

But yeah even I understand that I should probably not ever ask her if she got my message.

It's so odd that something like asking about a message would not be considered socially correct.
I mean, I wouldn't mind at least, but then again I wouldn't let this happen in the first place.
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LeetCheet posted...

I only knew about that because one of those two coworkers told me about that. Jesus stop assuming I'm like the biggest creep ever.
I would've understand that response if I posted some inappropriate shit every time I saw one of your topics.

I never even go into your topics because, well to be honest, they don't interest me and they're almost always about "OMG my bf did something lmao".

And you're using it against her like you're entitled to her attention because she talks to other men? It's so weird dude

You're displaying another issue here. I'm not required to "be nice" to you just because you've acted neutral towards me. This topic is weird and it's showing your social deficiencies.

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Jen0125 posted...

LeetCheet posted...

I only knew about that because one of those two coworkers told me about that. Jesus stop assuming I'm like the biggest creep ever.
I would've understand that response if I posted some inappropriate shit every time I saw one of your topics.

I never even go into your topics because, well to be honest, they don't interest me and they're almost always about "OMG my bf did something lmao".

And you're using it against her like you're entitled to her attention because she talks to other men? It's so weird dude

You're displaying another issue here. I'm not required to "be nice" to you just because you've acted neutral towards me. This topic is weird and it's showing your social deficiencies.

No I just mentioned that because Kanakiri thought it was weird that coworkers hung out or talk with each other after work.

I have Aspergers so of course I happen to be an oddball and socially deficient by normal standards.
Tell me something I don't already know.

And I don't expect anyone to do anything for me, I've learned that most people don't give a shit about people like me so that's why I have trust issues with people.

I'm just trying to make sense of the situation at hand.
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LeetCheet posted...

No I just mentioned that because Kanakiri thought it was weird that coworkers hung out or talk with each other after work.

that's literally not what i said. you are not friends with this woman, you just work with her. obviously coworkers can become friends or spend time outside of work but you haven't done that, have you?

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Why are women always eating grapes

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grapes are easy to acquire and easy to eat

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All women are literally eating grapes 24/7 but I messaged a female acquaintance asking if she wanted some of my grapes and she hasn't responded yet what the fuck

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that grape ignoring bitch

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men don't even wash their grapes smh

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Yo Mead, are your grapes peeled, or unpeeled?

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"Why do women do something, we asked a bunch of guys!"

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Sarcasthma posted...

Yo Mead, are your grapes peeled, or unpeeled?

unpeeled but they did surgery on it

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EchoBaz posted...

"Why do women do something, we asked a bunch of guys!"

I mean Jen and Kana always provide pro tips.

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lol....
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Must be fun to make fun of someone who struggles socially with others.

That's like making fun of a fat person in a gym for trying to lose weight.

I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
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I gave you advice at the start of this topic and you ignored me, Leet.

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I didn't ignore you. I'm going to see my therapist on Wednesday and I'm gonna talk about this with her.
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I'm glad to hear that. You might feel like you can vent by posting these topics here, but I honestly think they do you more harm than good.

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Can I also laugh that you tried to... Do something?.. By saying I post about having a boyfriend as a negative when you had a girlfriend and we knew all the inner workings of her allegedly diseased reproductive system.. Because how? Because that's all you would post about. Don't be a hypocrite in addition to being creepy.

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I have a job and a life and you're boring

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I didn't read through the whole thread but you're not wrong. The rules of texting has changed. Everyone is looking at their damn phone almost all the time. If anything, it's probably considered "rude" to not respond or leave someone on read.

But here's the thing. While the rules of texting has changed, a lot of the mind games still haven't yet. No one wants to come off as desperate. Which is why people purposely wait awhile to respond. And there is a rare chance someone is truly busy, but you'll just have to take their word for it.

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LeetCheet posted...

At least I've never posted inappropriate pictures of myself on the Internet to get attention from complete strangers.
Don't complain about people being creepy when you're that yourself.

you should probably just do yourself a favor and stop now because this isnt going to go well

LeetCheet posted...

At least I've never posted inappropriate pictures of myself on the Internet to get attention from complete strangers.
Don't complain about people being creepy when you're that yourself.

If guys posting inappropriate pictures of themselves on the Internet is creepy then it should be considered creepy for women as well.
No doublestandards.

What about what about what about

What do my pics have to do with your behavior? Don't deflect. Reflect. Try it sometimes lmao

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Well you're the one who always calls me creepy.

Words hurt man.

Try to see something from someone's else's point of view for once.

Someone is clearly struggling with their social life?
Better make fun of that person, that'll teach him how to talk with people.

I'd love to see you struggle like I do every day and see how you'd manage it.
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You are being creepy. Instead of being upset or offended, reflect. Several people here are telling you you're being weird and strangely you're only trying to truly insult me - the woman. Do you reflect on why THAT is? You really need to honestly speak to your therapist lol

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Dude, just ignore Jen. She's just here to be a bully

OhhhJa posted...

Dude, just ignore Jen. She's just here to be a bully

LMAO another one who needs to reflect

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Jen0125 posted...

LMAO another one who needs to reflect

You're a sad sad woman

It kinda seems like you need some reflection on yourself as well.

I doubt you're the perfect person you think you are.
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Arv here! tired of dealing with slow texters? well arv has the solution for you! keep texting till you get a text back! she aint text you back yet? text another girl and text her to death till she texts back send things like eggplant emojis and money emojis and make up lies to get her interest!

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LeetCheet posted...

It kinda seems like you need some reflection on yourself as well.

I doubt you're the perfect person you think you are.

No one said I'm perfect, lmao. Certainly not me. You are really doing anything to turn your weird behavior around on others and it's not helping you.

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OhhhJa posted...

You're a sad sad woman

That's a compliment coming from you. Ty, sweetie.

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I feel like you just got to roll with this stuff. Some people are quick, prompt texters, and some are not. Some are, but are busy at that moment(or one of a hundred reasons they may take hours or days to reply), and some just suck.

You just have to roll with it. I feel like texting a co-worker about a work function is fine, however if you don't like possibly waiting for a reply, just ask in person next time.

I can be a bad texter myself. Sometimes I am busy, sometimes I am just lazy. I try to respond to important textx promptly, but not always is that possible.

wait a minute arv sees whats going on. you 2 are having angry sex... can arv watch

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I'm not trying to turn anything. I already know how much of an oddball I am and I'm not trying to deny that.

Look I just made this topic because I found it weird that, in my experience, that women tend to wait a lot longer than men to respond to a text.

And then I was being told that I was entitled for expecting a response within pushing 60 hours now.

I just looked up on Google now and it seems like more people than me seem to be experiencing the same phenomenon.

I've only started learning socializing with others ten years ago. Cut me some slack here.
You'd be seen as weird too if you were in the same situation.

argonautweakend posted...

I feel like you just got to roll with this stuff. Some people are quick, prompt texters, and some are not. Some are, but are busy at that moment(or one of a hundred reasons they may take hours or days to reply), and some just suck.

You just have to roll with it. I feel like texting a co-worker about a work function is fine, however if you don't like possibly waiting for a reply, just ask in person next time.

I can be a bad texter myself. Sometimes I am busy, sometimes I am just lazy. I try to respond to important textx promptly, but not always is that possible.

I've already mentioned it earlier in this topic but I'll say it again.

I wanted to ask her in person about it but I was too cowardly to do it at that time.
I was afraid of being too clingy and I didn't want neither her or others to think that I was being clingy to her even though I always try to give her as much space as possible and I only try to talk with her when I want to tell her something that's relevant to our work.

...

See what kind of backwards ass logic I have to deal with everyday?
It's like I'm walking on eggshells and don't want to offend anyone for any little stupid reason.

You constantly hear how easily offended people are nowadays about every little thing and of course that rubs off on you eventually.
It makes you think you might be a bad person for doing seemingly normal things.

I don't want people to get pissed off by me. I want them to laugh.
I want to tell stupid jokes to people because that was how I used to cope with my depression.
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You realize the instant reply trend is a new phenomenon? Right? You are having expectations that people should be tethered to their phone to reply to you just because you are. That's peak entitlement. Just because other people feel similarly entitled to people's instant attention doesn't mean it's an appropriate feeling.

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But people ARE tethered to their phones in this day and age.

It seems rude not to respond when you're literally holding the device in your hands for multiple hours per day.

Even if you're not currently holding it, the damn thing is probably somewhere nearby anyway or literally in your pocket, you should hear that your phone made a noise which probably means that you've got a message from someone.

Just because it doesn't seem to be a common courtesy yet to give a quick response whenever you get a message, it should be now.
Literally anyone has their own phones these days and they use it hourly.

Like you said, more people should try to reflect on themselves and try to change because times are always changing.
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Women are used to making men wait on them.

LeetCheet posted...

It seems rude not to respond when you're literally holding the device in your hands for multiple hours per day.

Seems rude to you because you are placing undue expectations on people and then getting upset when they don't meet your private expectations. Do you see how this leads you to become upset unnecessarily?

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LeetCheet posted...

Just because it doesn't seem to be a common courtesy yet to give a quick response whenever you get a message, it should be now.
Literally anyone has their own phones these days and they use it hourly.

It should be - to you. You don't have the ability or power to dictate what others do.

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It looks like you ignored the part you told me about reflecting on yourself.

Don't you think people appreciate not having to wait literally hours or days until they get a response?

People should think more about others instead of being selfish.
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this is pretty deep into r/niceguys territory

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this dude is gross

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Cruddy_horse posted...

Because shes getting texted by the 5 other guys trying to get in her pants.

This. It's pretty similar with gay dudes that's why I hardly bother putting any on my contacts. The people that are genuinely very busy for long periods compared to those not caring to talk to you for a minute, are rare. The only person I ever believed that with was a university professor I saw once. Besides his job he was also studying for a law degree so his days were very demanding. I didn't bother him unless I didn't hear him for like a week. Otherwise I'd wait till he had time for me and messaged first. Outside of that I had doctors and businessmen that still messaged back fairly quick. So people usually don't have an excuse. TC seems very clingy and annoying though. If I had put someone on my phone and later realised they like this, I would have taken them off and blanked their ass. Rather than pretending to tolerate them. Done it before.

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