Current Events > When Chuck Norris turned 18, he told his dad

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Touch 05/02/21 4:47:09 PM #1:	"You're the man of the house now" --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953480352] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>"You're the man of the house now" </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FortuneCookie 05/02/21 4:48:09 PM #2:	Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. <cite>FortuneCookie posted [p:953480384] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Rhylos 05/02/21 4:49:04 PM #3:	Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. <cite>Rhylos posted [p:953480422] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
#4	Post #4 was unavailable or deleted.
Heartomaton 05/02/21 4:51:03 PM #5:	If you fought Chuck Norris, there would only be two hits: Chuck hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the sun. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953480469] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>If you fought Chuck Norris, there would only be two hits: Chuck hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the sun. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FortuneCookie 05/02/21 4:57:26 PM #6:	Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Hunting implies a chance for failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. <cite>FortuneCookie posted [p:953480661] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Hunting implies a chance for failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Trumble 05/02/21 4:59:09 PM #7:	When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars stop to look both ways. --- [insert funny sig here] <cite>Trumble posted [p:953480716] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars stop to look both ways. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Trumble 05/02/21 4:59:49 PM #8:	Chuck Norris once posted an account suicide. All the moderators suspended themselves. --- [insert funny sig here] <cite>Trumble posted [p:953480736] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once posted an account suicide. All the moderators suspended themselves. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/02/21 5:54:15 PM #9:	When Chuck Norris comes to work late, everyone else apologizes for coming early --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953482412] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris comes to work late, everyone else apologizes for coming early </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 6:07:25 PM #10:	Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953482819] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
catboy 05/02/21 6:08:34 PM #11:	GregShmedley posted... I grew tired of Chuck Norris jokes like fifteen years ago but this got me. --- Then by that logic, real women are pixels. -Kisai <cite>catboy posted [p:953482860] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>GregShmedley posted... </cite> <quote>I grew tired of Chuck Norris jokes like fifteen years ago but this got me.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
CouldBeAnAlt 05/02/21 6:10:03 PM #12:	Reverse cards in uno don't work on Chuck Norris --- Fithos lusec wecos vinosec she/her <cite>CouldBeAnAlt posted [p:953482919] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Reverse cards in uno don't work on Chuck Norris </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Vicious_Dios 05/02/21 6:11:18 PM #13:	Heartomaton posted... Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail. WTF --- S / K / Y / N / E Twitch/YouTube/GT: *Adzeta* <cite>Vicious_Dios posted [p:953482953] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Heartomaton posted... </cite> <quote>Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail.</quote> WTF </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
R1masher 05/02/21 6:12:11 PM #14:	Chuck Norris once clenched a penis off and farted it across the room where it stuck into a brick wall, all this was in one fluid motion and yes, that penis is still stuck in that wall like a flaccid version of Excalibur --- R1R1R1R1R1R1 <cite>R1masher posted [p:953482993] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once clenched a penis off and farted it across the room where it stuck into a brick wall, all this was in one fluid motion and yes, that penis is still stuck in that wall like a flaccid version of Excalibur </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
rats5 05/02/21 6:12:57 PM #15:	Chuck Norris can kick down a revolving door <cite>rats5 posted [p:953483013] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris can kick down a revolving door </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
IShall_Run_Amok 05/02/21 6:16:03 PM #16:	Chuck Norris once got his ass beat by Bruce Lee in a movie, and that fight is a meme now because there's a cat in it. --- Oh look, what clever children! See them study, watch them learn! How I hate those goody-goodies! How they make my stomach turn! <cite>IShall_Run_Amok posted [p:953483142] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once got his ass beat by Bruce Lee in a movie, and that fight is a meme now because there's a cat in it. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Machete 05/02/21 6:23:28 PM #17:	every time chuck norris kills god, a kitten masturbates --- I do not receive notifications, so using the @ feature will not do anything. I might see your post and respond though if I have already been in the topic. <cite>Machete posted [p:953483415] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>every time chuck norris kills god, a kitten masturbates </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
dummy420 05/02/21 6:27:40 PM #18:	The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night before bed. --- Trying is the first step towards failure, so just dont give it a shot and you cant dissapoint. <cite>dummy420 posted [p:953483593] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night before bed. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 6:28:42 PM #19:	Chuck Noris can make anyone orgasm by pointing at them and saying "Bam." --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953483631] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Noris can make anyone orgasm by pointing at them and saying "Bam." </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
IShall_Run_Amok 05/02/21 6:30:35 PM #20:	Machete posted... every time chuck norris kills god, a kitten masturbates I own two cats I can confirm. --- Oh look, what clever children! See them study, watch them learn! How I hate those goody-goodies! How they make my stomach turn! <cite>IShall_Run_Amok posted [p:953483710] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Machete posted... </cite> <quote>every time chuck norris kills god, a kitten masturbates</quote>I own two cats I can confirm. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Machete 05/02/21 6:31:21 PM #21:	IShall_Run_Amok posted... I own two cats I can confirm. fuck yeah I KNEW that one was real! --- I do not receive notifications, so using the @ feature will not do anything. I might see your post and respond though if I have already been in the topic. <cite>Machete posted [p:953483731] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>IShall_Run_Amok posted... </cite> <quote>I own two cats I can confirm.</quote> fuck yeah I KNEW that one was real! </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
eston 05/02/21 6:31:27 PM #22:	Reminds me of this Doug clip I saw earlier: https://youtu.be/yvksFBi04JI --- http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i215/estonc/grizzly_bear_chairs_2.jpg https://imgur.com/8kjZU <cite>eston posted [p:953483734] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Reminds me of this Doug clip I saw earlier: https://youtu.be/yvksFBi04JI </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/02/21 6:39:26 PM #23:	When the phone was invented, it already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953483999] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When the phone was invented, it already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 6:45:31 PM #24:	Someone once misspelled Chuck Norris as "Cuck Norris" online. They were never heard from again. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953484179] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Someone once misspelled Chuck Norris as "Cuck Norris" online. They were never heard from again. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
armandro 05/02/21 6:45:31 PM #25:	@leverageblargh cursed topic --- https://imgur.com/sKghEcP 8 October, 2023 <cite>armandro posted [p:953484180] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>@leverageblargh cursed topic </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Esrac 05/02/21 7:04:09 PM #26:	Chuck can cure cancer, with his tears Too bad he's never shed one, in all his years <cite>Esrac posted [p:953484735] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck can cure cancer, with his tears Too bad he's never shed one, in all his years </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/02/21 7:53:11 PM #27:	When Chuck Norris calls 911, he's the one that asks them what's the emergency. --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953486059] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris calls 911, he's the one that asks them what's the emergency. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 8:00:28 PM #28:	When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it's broken for good. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953486257] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it's broken for good. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Kitt 05/02/21 8:03:36 PM #29:	Chuck Norris doesn't t-bag. He potato sacks. --- Come back in ten years. https://imgur.com/pmc9XsI https://imgur.com/p6Wfowq <cite>Kitt posted [p:953486356] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't t-bag. He potato sacks. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Smackems 05/02/21 8:03:36 PM #30:	Heartomaton posted... When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it's broken for good. Lmao --- Common sense baked a funk cookie - some dude <cite>Smackems posted [p:953486357] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Heartomaton posted... </cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it's broken for good.</quote>Lmao </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Guide 05/02/21 8:03:41 PM #31:	Chuck Norris once hailed a cab, but was out of cash for fare. He gave the cab driver a blowjob instead. Once he finished blowing the cab driver, he just walked away. --- evening main 2.4356848e+91 https://youtu.be/Acn5IptKWQU <cite>Guide posted [p:953486360] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once hailed a cab, but was out of cash for fare. He gave the cab driver a blowjob instead. Once he finished blowing the cab driver, he just walked away. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/02/21 10:41:29 PM #32:	When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor congratulated him for having healthy parents --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953490975] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor congratulated him for having healthy parents </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 10:44:53 PM #33:	Chuck Norris sees Dragonball Z as a cute slice-of-life series. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953491049] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris sees Dragonball Z as a cute slice-of-life series. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
bigtiggie23 05/02/21 10:46:03 PM #34:	The last time Chuck Norris was stopped for speeding he was out for a jog. --- If reading my posts gives you an erection lasting longer than four hours, you're welcome. <cite>bigtiggie23 posted [p:953491078] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>The last time Chuck Norris was stopped for speeding he was out for a jog.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Xavier_On_High 05/02/21 10:48:01 PM #35:	Guide posted... Chuck Norris once hailed a cab, but was out of cash for fare. He gave the cab driver a blowjob instead. Once he finished blowing the cab driver, he just walked away. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. --- http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltnafhjcUz1qmxswbo1_500.gif <cite>Xavier_On_High posted [p:953491144] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Guide posted... </cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once hailed a cab, but was out of cash for fare. He gave the cab driver a blowjob instead. Once he finished blowing the cab driver, he just walked away.</quote> I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Trumble 05/02/21 10:49:57 PM #36:	Chuck Norris can make Heartomaton shut the fuck up. --- [insert funny sig here] <cite>Trumble posted [p:953491202] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris can make Heartomaton shut the fuck up. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
clyde_frog 05/02/21 10:50:24 PM #37:	Heartomaton posted... Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail. lmaoooo what the fuck --- https://imgur.com/UFOAF http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m71fpsIYJA1qf1116o1_500.jpg ~Formerly known as BabeFAQs~ <cite>clyde_frog posted [p:953491218] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Heartomaton posted... </cite> <quote>Chuck Norris' penis has a toenail.</quote> lmaoooo what the fuck </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
AteIierRyza3462 05/02/21 10:51:14 PM #38:	Lmao, love these topics --- Now Playing: Atelier Ryza 2 / Outer Worlds /// https://imgur.com/tNNXYaz https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeArmMVf/ / https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeDNHwmu/ - pon/pone <cite>AteIierRyza3462 posted [p:953491239] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Lmao, love these topics </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/02/21 10:52:31 PM #39:	Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953491283] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/02/21 10:55:20 PM #40:	When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor for not crying --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953491393] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor for not crying </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/03/21 2:16:19 AM #41:	Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention. Attention pays Chuck Norris. --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953495874] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention. Attention pays Chuck Norris. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/03/21 2:18:25 AM #42:	In the beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953495901] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>In the beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
R1masher 05/03/21 2:20:22 AM #43:	Chuck Norris once ate a live pig and shit out a twelve foot long sausage link --- R1R1R1R1R1R1 <cite>R1masher posted [p:953495928] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris once ate a live pig and shit out a twelve foot long sausage link </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ReignFury 05/03/21 2:22:15 AM #44:	Sharks have Chuck Norris week --- Occasionally posting in a dead gaming forum <cite>ReignFury posted [p:953495945] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Sharks have Chuck Norris week </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/03/21 2:23:47 AM #45:	Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953495963] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
R1masher 05/03/21 2:25:01 AM #46:	Chuck Norriss penis shakes him after peeing --- R1R1R1R1R1R1 <cite>R1masher posted [p:953495984] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norriss penis shakes him after peeing </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/03/21 2:25:41 AM #47:	The government pays Chuck Norris taxes --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953495995] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>The government pays Chuck Norris taxes </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 05/03/21 2:25:56 AM #48:	R1masher posted... Chuck Norriss penis shakes him after peeing Lmao --- https://imgur.com/ZVrHdEl <cite>Touch posted [p:953496002] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>R1masher posted... </cite> <quote>Chuck Norriss penis shakes him after peeing</quote>Lmao </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 05/03/21 2:26:52 AM #49:	Chuck Norris shits other people's pants. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:953496018] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris shits other people's pants. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
R1masher 05/03/21 2:28:04 AM #50:	Chuck Norris is so flexible he can touch his elbow to his anus from the inside --- R1R1R1R1R1R1 <cite>R1masher posted [p:953496041] in When Chuck... [t:79437518]...</cite> <quote>Chuck Norris is so flexible he can touch his elbow to his anus from the inside </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > When Chuck Norris turned 18, he told his dad (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > When Chuck Norris turned 18, he told his dad