Current Events > Let's check Twitter real quick and oh-

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Cue the Superman music?
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InhumaneRaider posted...

Who is forcing them to like Transwomen? Having a preference isn't transphobic. Saying you won't date a Trans individual on the basis of them being Trans, IS TRANSPHOBIC.

It's no different than saying you have a preference for a race. It doesn't mean that you'll exclude any other race from the dating pool. But if you go and say, "I WON'T date *specific race*" that's racist.

How is it transphobic to not date someone based on them being trans? Transwomen can't have children and that's kind of a big deal

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Perascamin posted...

How is it transphobic to not date someone based on them being trans? Transwomen can't have children and that's kind of a big deal

On a first date, before anything else, do you ask about the fertility and possibility of procreation with every woman? You don't? Shut the fuck up.

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"how is it racist to not date women of color, they can't give me a white baby"

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gunplagirl posted...

On a first date, before anything else, do you ask about the fertility and possibility of procreation with every woman? You don't? Shut the fuck up.

ok let's unpack this.

first of all, he is right, that absolutely is a big deal
secondly, its the responsibility of the trans person to reveal theyre trans if theyre on a date (not a hookup, im talking about a date) because of that future implication. in fact i have no reason to think a trans person would never not reveal this unless they were cruel/selfish because if you're serious about dating then you owe it to that person before you both end up hurt if they want to father children/have sexual hang-ups

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lemondrop7 posted...

ok angry man let's unpack this.

woah there slow down champ. you're talking to a woman

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gunplagirl posted...

On a first date, before anything else, do you ask about the fertility and possibility of procreation with every woman? You don't? Shut the fuck up.

For me, I do not ask, obviously. But I feel like that is a major end goal for me. It's a deal breaker. Maybe initially I might like said person, but I do want kids. Is that a bad thing? I don't want to get emotionally attached to someone if they can't physically give me children, which is a personal thing I want out of a relationship.

I don't see why that is a bad thing to want out of a relationship.
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All I'm saying is you're suspicious if the only thing that matters to you about someone is skin color.

If you claim to have more standards than that, then it would be suspicious if you'd rather date an old meth addict than a young model that matches more of your standards, purely because of their skin color.

If two women are exactly the same outside of one preferred physical characteristic, fine. That is fine.

The biggest problem with these debates is that people get distilled down to single characteristics, as if that is a normal or healthy way to interact with human beings.

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gunplagirl posted...

"how is it racist to not date women of color, they can't give me a white baby"

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

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SonnerAnarchy posted...

It's not transphobic to NOT interested in, or not dating, a specific woman who happens to be trans.
It's not transphobic to NOT interested in, or not dating, a specific woman who does not currently have the genitalia you prefer.

It is transphobic to say you're not interested in, or won't date, a specific woman because she is trans.

Often, Trans Women will pass and are indistinguishable from actual women.

So feeling that way is fine but saying it is the problem?

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I don't want my junk stepped on by a tall vampire lady. Does that make me a bigot? Who cares it's my junk that's getting squashed.

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ledbowman posted...

you call it simplistic, i call it common sense that just because you don't want to put your mouth on someone doesn't mean you think negatively of them

Has it occurred to you that "common sense" has been wrong on social issues like this approximately 100 percent of the time?

Maybe you should think harder on these subjects and stop relying on common sense.

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Anyone who thinks not having a desire to date/hookup with a trans person is transphobic is a massive fuckin idiot.

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lemondrop7 posted...

ok let's unpack this.

first of all, he is right, that absolutely is a big deal
secondly, its the responsibility of the trans person to reveal theyre trans if theyre on a date (not a hookup, im talking about a date) because of that future implication. in fact i have no reason to think a trans person would never not reveal this unless they were cruel/selfish because if you're serious about dating then you owe it to that person before you both end up hurt if they want to father children/have sexual hang-ups

Do you tell people about your various hentai and porn stashes that might be cruel not to inform prospective partners of?

Slayer_22 posted...

For me, I do not ask, obviously. But I feel like that is a major end goal for me. It's a deal breaker. Maybe initially I might like said person, but I do want kids. Is that a bad thing? I don't want to get emotionally attached to someone if they can't physically give me children, which is a personal thing I want out of a relationship.

I don't see why that is a bad thing to want out of a relationship.

Right. So it's just a coincidence that your number one deal breaker is something you don't personally bring up. Makes me think that if by some statistical improbability, you dated a girl, married her, and found out she couldn't get pregnant that you'd divorce her. And if you didn't divorce her on the spot, or if you tried fertility stuff, honestly that'd mean your bottom line wasn't actually a bottom line but instead something you were always flexible with. :l Strange though, that your flexibility would still ultimately exclude all trans people.

And by strange, I mean your tactics are about as forward as a kid trying to pull the scholar's mate in chess.

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HighOnSolar posted...

Anyone who thinks not having a desire to date/hookup with a trans person is transphobic is a massive fuckin idiot.

Have you met every single trans person in existence?

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ledbowman posted...

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

...holy fuckeroni. CE, we got em.

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ledbowman posted...

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

"Sorry, you're perfect except you're slightly paler than I am. Begone, thot! It's not racist to think nothing is more important than skin color!"

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This argument is always so weird. It's always a bunch of semantics that never logically work if you flip any particular parameters. It should be very simple. "I don't date trans women because I'm not innately attracted to them" is not transphobic. "I don't date trans women because they're men" is transphobic.

gunplagirl posted...

Do you tell people about your various hentai and porn stashes that might be cruel not to inform prospective partners of?

i don't have any porn collections or hentai videos...i live in the real world first of all, if you really want to watch porn you can watch it on any site for free. but even if i did i dont exactly see the comparison between that and the inability for trans people to have children naturally.

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ledbowman posted...

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

HOO BOY.

HOO BOY DOGGY.

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gunplagirl posted...

On a first date, before anything else, do you ask about the fertility and possibility of procreation with every woman? You don't? Shut the fuck up.

gunplagirl posted...

"how is it racist to not date women of color, they can't give me a white baby"

Gunpla these are not the same things and you know it. If you were looking for a one night stand, obviously you think of the woman or man as they're presented and don't consider the future.

...but if you're taking someone on a date (i.e something you both have hopes will lead to dating/commitment) you're both obviously looking for a long term relationship with the possibility of a family and transwomen just can't provide that.

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I feel like whenever I see someone vehemently trying to call out others because theyre not attracted to Trans people theyre embarrassed and just trying to justify their own attraction.

gunplagirl posted...

Do you tell people about your various hentai and porn stashes that might be cruel not to inform prospective partners of?

Uhh... How is that related to wanting to have children but cant?

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CyricZ posted...

HOO BOY.

HOO BOY DOGGY.

Yeah this was an awful take and I really don't see how white boys ... hell men of color write off black women entirely. You guys ever seen Serena Williams? Goddess.

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gunplagirl posted...

Right. So it's just a coincidence that your number one deal breaker is something you don't personally bring up. Makes me think that if by some statistical improbability, you dated a girl, married her, and found out she couldn't get pregnant that you'd divorce her. And if you didn't divorce her on the spot, or if you tried fertility stuff, honestly that'd mean your bottom line wasn't actually a bottom line but instead something you were always flexible with. :l Strange though, that your flexibility would still ultimately exclude all trans people.

And by strange, I mean your tactics are about as forward as a kid trying to pull the scholar's mate in chess.

I have a couple deal breakers. But that is a pretty big one. Do you open up every date with a list of things things don't like? And of course I'd try fertility clinics if that were actually possible...because it's possible. It is nothing against trans women, it has to do with children. If she was incapable of having children...I'm sorry, but that is also something you should be upfront with, no?

If a relationship doesn't have something you long for, why should you keep with it? I don't get your logic.
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nemu posted...

This argument is always so weird. It's always a bunch of semantics that never logically work if you flip any particular parameters. It should be very simple. "I don't date trans women because I'm not innately attracted to them" is not transphobic. "I don't date trans women because they're men" is transphobic.

Nobody is innately not attracted to trans people. It's because of unconscious bias (likely influenced by growing up in a society that mocks, scorns, and demeans trans women by portraying them as men, psychopaths, and sexual predators).

And to say you aren't attracted to them means the entire group. And you've never seen the entirety of the group of trans women so you can't say that you're dismissing each one individually. Rather, you're assuming shared characteristics between all of them (stereotyping) to dismiss them all. Therein lies the problem.

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I think people should stop saying "sexual preferences" when they mean "sexual requirements"

Preferences aren't absolute. Preference implies there can be compromise if other criteria are met. In the real world, you're going to be fucking lonely if partners and friends need to meet your exact ideals to associate with you.

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Slayer_22 posted...

If a relationship doesn't have something you long for, why should you keep with it?

You shouldnt. If you dont get what you want out of a relationship then you shouldnt be in it. It isnt racist. It isnt sexist. What you feel is the most important part.

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Perascamin posted...

Yeah this was an awful take and I really don't see how white boys ... hell men of color write off black women entirely. You guys ever seen Serena Williams? Goddess.

I mean, I'll admit, I'm not into most black women. Nothing to do with skin, there are some black women I find attractive, but Serena Williams? Really? Halle Berry, sure, but Serena Williams? REALLY?
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gunplagirl posted...

Nobody is innately not attracted to trans people. It's because of unconscious bias (likely influenced by growing up in a society that mocks, scorns, and demeans trans women by portraying them as men, psychopaths, and sexual predators).

And to say you aren't attracted to them means the entire group. And you've never seen the entirety of the group of trans women so you can't say that you're dismissing each one individually. Rather, you're assuming shared characteristics between all of them (stereotyping) to dismiss them all. Therein lies the problem.

you keep ignoring it but can you please answer the 3 people who have asked now how some hentai/porn magazines would be equivalent to the inability to have children?

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ledbowman posted...

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

wut

Yes it is....

Anyone who doesn't love their children because they are the wrong color is a monster

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UnfairRepresent posted...

wut

Yes it is....

Anyone who doesn't love their children because they are the wrong color is a monster

I agree with this 100%


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DepreceV2 posted...

You shouldnt. If you dont get what you want out of a relationship then you shouldnt be in it. It isnt racist. It isnt sexist. What you feel is the most important part.

"God I love you. It's been 3 wonderful years, but I just can't get over how not blue your eyes are. I can't keep this up."

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lemondrop7 posted...

Do you share your absolute deal breakers while getting to know someone?

Perascamin posted...

Hardly the case, plenty of people date casually before moving onto anything more intimate. The first date is to see if you'd be interested in seeing that person again and spending time with them. It's the baseline compatibility step for every person, regardless.

DepreceV2 posted...

See above.

Slayer_22 posted...

I was asking if you, specifically, open up a date with that? For that matter, given the intimate nature, assuming someone will just share it all willy nilly that they're infertile is rather presumptuous and not something you'll ever have happen on a first date unless you effing ask.

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gunplagirl posted...

Nobody is innately not attracted to trans people. It's because of unconscious bias (likely influenced by growing up in a society that mocks, scorns, and demeans trans women by portraying them as men, psychopaths, and sexual predators).

And to say you aren't attracted to them means the entire group. And you've never seen the entirety of the group of trans women so you can't say that you're dismissing each one individually. Rather, you're assuming shared characteristics between all of them (stereotyping) to dismiss them all. Therein lies the problem.

Many people, I'd assume the vast majority, require the corresponding genitalia to match for their attraction to be complete. Most people, I'd assume the vast majority, would find surgically modified genitalia to be insufficient for their attraction to be complete. Those are major factors in attraction, and dismissal of them is disingenuous at best. They usually boil down to "if they cannot tell the difference, then what is the harm?" which can be used in some very gross ways in other contexts.

hockeybub89 posted...

"God I love you. It's been 3 wonderful years, but I just can't get over how not blue your eyes are. I can't keep this up."

That is such a straw man argument. If someone thought that shallow then they are dumb. Doesnt mean they have to be in that relationship. I can say how dumb it is without forcing them to be in one.

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hockeybub89 posted...

"God I love you. It's been 3 wonderful years, but I just can't get over how not blue your eyes are. I can't keep this up."

Should be in gymnastics, that was a pretty big leap in logic.

gunplagirl posted...

I was asking if you, specifically, open up a date with that? For that matter, given the intimate nature, assuming someone will just share it all willy nilly that they're infertile is rather presumptuous and not something you'll ever have happen on a first date unless you effing ask.

I don't walk up to a person and ask if they can get pregnant, no. That seems a bit odd and that would likely be pretty off putting.

But if you expect me to stay with someone who is infertile/incapable of having children, you're asking a lot.
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Allow me to state my opinion in that saying "I'm not attracted to that transwoman because she can't father my child" is 100% an excuse. It's a cop-out. It's an escape hatch.

It's bullshit.

And I grant you it's easy for me to say this as a 41 year old man for whom never fathering his own children becomes closer to certainty every day.

The number of options that exist that allow someone to be able to raise a child puts paid to that excuse. Adoption, fostering, surrogates.

And of course, as gpg says, you are not looking across the bar, the dance floor, through the dating app, and saying to yourself "Man, I wonder how fertile she is". That's malarkey.

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CyricZ posted...

Allow me to state my opinion in that saying "I'm not attracted to that transwoman because she can't father my child" is 100% an excuse. It's a cop-out. It's an escape hatch.

It's bullshit.

And I grant you it's easy for me to say this as a 41 year old man for whom never fathering his own children becomes closer to certainty every day.

The number of options that exist that allow someone to be able to raise a child puts paid to that excuse. Adoption, fostering, surrogates.

And of course, as gpg says, you are not looking across the bar, the dance floor, through the dating app, and saying to yourself "Man, I wonder how fertile she is". That's malarkey.

Ehh this is dumb

Adoption is not the same thing as having your own kid.

Your argument is on the wrong track here

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ledbowman posted...

it's not racist to want your baby to be the same color as you. yall are getting insane

@ledbowman

so if youre PALE would you kick out of bed a white girl that looks like Catherine zeta jones because she is 2 skin tones darker?

if you have a bit of a (natural) tan like George Clooney would you tell a blonde pale girl to go away because she doesnt match your color?

ah no, you meant... race. Of course you did.


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CyricZ posted...

Allow me to state my opinion in that saying "I'm not attracted to that transwoman because she can't father my child" is 100% an excuse. It's a cop-out. It's an escape hatch.

It's bullshit.

And I grant you it's easy for me to say this as a 41 year old man for whom never fathering his own children becomes closer to certainty every day.

The number of options that exist that allow someone to be able to raise a child puts paid to that excuse. Adoption, fostering, surrogates.

And of course, as gpg says, you are not looking across the bar, the dance floor, through the dating app, and saying to yourself "Man, I wonder how fertile she is". That's malarkey.

why are you not having kids ?

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gunplagirl posted...

Hardly the case, plenty of people date casually before moving onto anything more intimate. The first date is to see if you'd be interested in seeing that person again and spending time with them. It's the baseline compatibility step for every person, regardless.

I just dont understand why its so bad not wanting to date someone who cant give birth to kids. That wouldnt bother me because I dont want kids but I can understand why that would bother people. Wanting your own children is the number 1 goal in life for some people. If that goal is removed, without question I can see that as a deal breaker no matter if you are attracted to your partner or not

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UnfairRepresent posted...

Anyone who doesn't love their children because they are the wrong color is a monster

good thing that's not what i said. white people generally want white babies. same with black people. it's normal to most peope who haven't lost their minds about this shit

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CyricZ posted...

Allow me to state my opinion in that saying "I'm not attracted to that transwoman because she can't father my child" is 100% an excuse. It's a cop-out. It's an escape hatch.

It's bullshit.

And I grant you it's easy for me to say this as a 41 year old man for whom never fathering his own children becomes closer to certainty every day.

The number of options that exist that allow someone to be able to raise a child puts paid to that excuse. Adoption, fostering, surrogates.

And of course, as gpg says, you are not looking across the bar, the dance floor, through the dating app, and saying to yourself "Man, I wonder how fertile she is". That's malarkey.

Adoption is not something I want to deal with myself. Maybe it's wrong of me to say, but I want to have a child with the woman I will spend the rest of my life with. Some people have dreams of their dream girl/guy, I have the dream of the perfect family. I don't see what is wrong with that.

Surrogates...eh, that is a pain. An expensive pain, too. And pretty weird if I do say so myself. It's an option, but an option I want to avoid.
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ledbowman posted...

good thing that's not what i said. white people generally want white babies. same with black people. it's normal to most peope who haven't lost their minds about this shit

Dude just saying being racist is normal doesn't make it true

I don't care what color my kids are

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CyricZ posted...

Allow me to state my opinion in that saying "I'm not attracted to that transwoman because she can't father my child" is 100% an excuse. It's a cop-out. It's an escape hatch.

It's bullshit.

And I grant you it's easy for me to say this as a 41 year old man for whom never fathering his own children becomes closer to certainty every day.

The number of options that exist that allow someone to be able to raise a child puts paid to that excuse. Adoption, fostering, surrogates.

And of course, as gpg says, you are not looking across the bar, the dance floor, through the dating app, and saying to yourself "Man, I wonder how fertile she is". That's malarkey.

My point was not about attraction. I have not said a single time in my argument that I can't find transwomen attractive. I said that I would never date them, and if happened to start off casually with one, I'm out when I learn she's trans.

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DepreceV2 posted...

That is such a straw man argument. If someone thought that shallow then they are dumb. Doesnt mean they have to be in that relationship. I can say how dumb it is without forcing them to be in one.

So that's a strawman, but you're going to tell me I want to force people into relationships against their will because I said they're vain and stupid?

Slayer_22 posted...

Should be in gymnastics, that was a pretty big leap in logic.

There is no fundamental difference between skin color and eye color breaking a relationship. They are both shallow reasoning and really there shouldn't be dealbreakers if we have lots of preferences. No one is going to hit all of your checkboxes, and a relationship is vain and doomed to fail if single physical characteristics matter more than anything.

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@gunplagirl the only thing I can think of is we must have a huge age gap. As a 27 year old man, yes the inability to father children is something I would tell someone on a first date and I would pray they do likewise.

sometimes I forget there could be kids on this site. But you thinking fertility and weird/strange behaviors are in any capacity similar. To me that just screams youre likely a teen still

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UnfairRepresent posted...

Dude just saying being racist is normal doesn't make it true

I don't care what color my kids are

This. If I fall in love with a girl and decide to have kids, the color of my kids wouldnt even be on the radar. Im not looking at potential partners to make sure the skin color stays the same. That is very shallow

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ledbowman posted...

good thing that's not what i said. white people generally want white babies. same with black people. it's normal to most peope who haven't lost their minds about this shit

"Different colors are fine as long as they are still white. I'm not racist."

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