Current Events > Let's face it some of us are doomed to be alone

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like me for instance, I had every planet and star in the Universe align for a shot at what really felt like the girl of my dreams, so of course I botched it falling flat on my face and made things awkward

Some people just aren't meant to succeed

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No woman is that special bro. Just find someone else.

If the hour glass figure fails go get a delicious & thicc blonde BBW Karen.

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the average man is unfuckable

the average woman gets blasted by limitless chad dick

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If you want some just keep looking.

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Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal

Believe in Kobe and you shall succeed

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Dont listen to these guys TC. I'm with someone and they keep insisting she's imaginary even though I've proved her existence several times.
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Grischnak posted...

No woman is that special bro. Just find someone else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5LLR0d87io
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Same. It's not something that I believe will happen for myself any more.

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Yeah she was, there is a super long story to this

But I didn't give up right away I spent years trying to talk to other girls. It always went over like a wet fart in a crowded elevator. Some people just don't have charisma or a presence around other people, quite frankly most people in general just don't give a shit.
I don't have the energy to try be a social butterfly just to keep on flopping all over the place.

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Tell us details about how you fell flat on your face
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If you do nothing you will be doomed. If you do something, not necessarily. Your choice to make it a self fulfilling prophecy or not

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The truth is that you want to feel loved TC. And that's normal. However, if you had a gf right now who loved you, you wouldn't have to succeed in the more difficult task of loving yourself.

You're looking for an easy way out of that.

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By the by ages 18-22 I use to be a demi-Chad
Okay not really but I did legit workout at the gym, had a 6 pac for abs, and some semblance of a hairline and girls couldn't seemingly be bothered with me.
But now I'm 30 with beergut and the most lopsided widow's peak you'll ever see

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GS4Life posted...

By the by ages 18-22 I use to be a demi-Chad
Okay not really but I did legit workout at the gym, had a 6 pac for abs, and some semblance of a hairline and girls couldn't seemingly be bothered with me.
But now I'm 30 with beergut and the most lopsided widow's peak you'll ever see

this is why i always say that game isn't just looks, there's a lot more to it. looks matter...to an extent. inner confidence and (inner and outer) game matter a ton
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the wild thing is that cute girls will still love you for you as long as you provide (crucial) and make them feel good.

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No_U_L7 posted...

this is why i always say that game isn't just looks, there's a lot more to it. looks matter...to an extent. inner confidence and (inner and outer) game matter a ton

Yeah not having any game is a problem.
Mostly been friendzone, hell I had a female friend try to introduce me to a table of six girls or so I kid you nobody even batted an eye or said hi to me I just don't have a presence.

berlyman101 posted...

the wild thing is that cute girls will still love you for you as long as you provide (crucial) and make them feel good.

Well providing is a problem but I try to be sincere. The one girl that really I fell for was super sweet but I knew I probably wasn't going to make things happen. And even though she wanted to be super independent from a finiacial standpoint I just had to face facts I didn't have anything to really offer her.

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GS4Life posted...

Yeah not having any game is a problem.
Mostly been friendzone, hell I had a female friend try to introduce me to a table of six girls or so I kid you nobody even batted an eye or said hi to me I just don't have a presence.

Well providing is a problem but I try to be sincere. The one girl that really I fell for was super sweet but I knew I probably wasn't going to make things happen. And even though she wanted to be super independent from a finiacial standpoint I just had to face facts I didn't have anything to really offer her.

i'm a seduction expert, lmk if you ever need help, always happy to help out an NBABer
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Is being single a doom?
Is marriage a success?

Each to their own.

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I hear you, TC. My girlfriend broke up with me and dropped the "I was never attracted to you and never felt a spark" bomb on me, after several years. It absolutely destroyed my confidence, and I'm convinced that I'm unlovable.

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KaZooo posted...

Is being single a doom?
Is marriage a success?

Each to their own.

If you don't want a serious relationship that's your choice but I'm talking people who want a partner and can't get one

CRON posted...

I hear you, TC. My girlfriend broke up with me and dropped the "I was never attracted to you and never felt a spark" bomb on me, after several years. It absolutely destroyed my confidence, and I'm convinced that I'm unlovable.

Ouch that must be harsh my apologies.

But personally never had a gf so yeah...

Related note girls can have anxiety but if a dude has anxiety they are going to be in serious trouble trying to get a date.

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Pretty much, yeah.

I just learned to accept it though, can't do much else.
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Same lol. Never officially had a girlfriend and just had my first kiss with a Tinder date last December. And even that date was amongst a long ass string of one and done dates.

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DeroIin posted...

Same lol. Never officially had a girlfriend and just had my first kiss with a Tinder date last December. And even that date was amongst a long ass string of one and done dates.

you're literally making progress bro. it's not too late

it's not too late for any of you

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My excuse is that I have terribly shit self-confidence. Whenever I have friends I consistently get this nagging feeling that they don't actually like me and get annoyed when I talk to them, whether it's true or not. So I end up distancing myself and my friendships end.

I think I partially inherited it from my mom since she's been ostracized from most of her family and friendships for no reason, so she also has bad self-confidence, and it happened to me a couple times as well. (Couple of "friends" I found out either talked shit about me behind my back or "befriended" me because they felt sorry for me.)
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BakonBitz posted...

My excuse is that I have terribly shit self-confidence. Whenever I have friends I consistently get this nagging feeling that they don't actually like me and get annoyed when I talk to them, whether it's true or not. So I end up distancing myself and my friendships end.

I think I partially inherited it from my mom since she's been ostracized from most of her family and friendships for no reason, so she also has bad self-confidence, and it happened to me a couple times as well. (Couple of "friends" I found out either talked shit about me behind my back or "befriended" me because they felt sorry for me.)

I think stuff like this leaves a lot of people feeling bad about themselves. What I have learned is how people view you is not immutable. People saying stuff like that is actually quite petty. If you show people you're not so affected by their little b.s. you have a much better chance. Or just move on to cooler people. Go your own way and women will like you more for it and your self-esteem would actually be much higher.

https://youtu.be/OZCyUb0RIRc

Filed under the easier said than done, I know. But what you're talking about is something people have wrestled with for centuries over.


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GS4Life posted...

If you don't want a serious relationship that's your choice but I'm talking people who want a partner and can't get one

I'm speaking as someone who did.

Granted I'm fortunate to say that I was never wavered by lacking confidence (and I don't say that as an insult), but I think there's much to make of someone you couldn't have or didn't end up with. How much realistically could be called out on your end for lack of trying and executing? I'm not saying start telling yourself excuses, because it's also in no way her fault but just think about it. What more could you have done and if that went though, would that actually sit right? Like if I ended up with someone by "winning" her over, it's entirely on the table someone else could do the same for her.

I think you should get back to a workout grind. Not for attraction, and literally not for anyone, but just for yourself. Enjoy yourself. Find confidence in that.


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It's complicated. Idk whether or not a better approach would have truly worked. I went through a long phase of pushing through anxiety and trying to just get myself out of a shell and try to be more of who I wanted to be. But I fell flat in every phase.
My deep gut feeling tells me I fucked up.
She did end up getting married recently and for her sake hopefully it works out and then some. But in turn I do question what could I have done for her, at least back then, the how or really what I have to offer anyone is answer I never found no matter how much soul searching I've done.

I want to get back to the gym for myself but the flame has metaphorically burned out.

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Hard truth is she was not the girl of your dreams, but in your mind you created a fictionized version of her that was.
For one, the girl of your dreams would not ever shoot you down.
For two, thay you never went with her means there are bad things, unhealthy habits and downright repulsive thing she does you never got to consider. Everyone has some.

It is entirely possible that if she went with you, you would have dumped her later. So what you do is move forward and get over the past.

From personal experience I was recently infatuated and honestly the girl is not at all who I thought she was.

if you don't learn how to live alongside others, then yes, you're going to be alone

this applies to every type of relationship

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WingsOfGood posted...

Hard truth is she was not the girl of your dreams, but in your mind you created a fictionized version of her that was.
For one, the girl of your dreams would not ever shoot you down.
For two, thay you never went with her means there are bad things, unhealthy habits and downright repulsive thing she does you never got to consider. Everyone has some.

It is entirely possible that if she went with you, you would have dumped her later. So what you do is move forward and get over the past.

From personal experience I was recently infatuated and honestly the girl is not at all who I thought she was.

Thats extremely common, what happens is people project their ideas of the ideal partner onto the girl without really knowing them. Because in their mind the alternative of starting over and finding someone who is actually their ideal partner is much more difficult because its more of an unknown

This is how oneitis is formed
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WingsOfGood posted...

Hard truth is she was not the girl of your dreams, but in your mind you created a fictionized version of her that was.
For one, the girl of your dreams would not ever shoot you down.
For two, thay you never went with her means there are bad things, unhealthy habits and downright repulsive thing she does you never got to consider. Everyone has some.

It is entirely possible that if she went with you, you would have dumped her later. So what you do is move forward and get over the past.

From personal experience I was recently infatuated and honestly the girl is not at all who I thought she was.

Maybe some of it is a romanticized version of her in my head
But let's make a few things clear
1- She never actually shot me down
2- I gave up on myself more so then her. It was shit in my head and lack of self-cofidence that wouldn't serve anyone in a relationship and I just thought she would be better off without me.
3- Actually the last night we hung out together I made a drunken ass of myself, in the context of trying to stand up for her which was the right thing do just not a very smart approach given I was drunk. The next morning as I went to say goodbye to her she hugged me super tightly, let's just say it was around a very difficult time of the year for her too.....
4- Not too long after one of my friends was hosting a party where a bunch of people I went school with was attending including said girl. Well my ride to said party arrived super late and everybody left, my roomate said she was the only one who wanted to wait around and everybody else basically forced her to leave. She was not happy when I texted and found out she just missed me.

She's been awesome I'm not trying to pin my failures on her at all. I know a lot of times people can turn out shitty but let's not make assumptions and generalizations with the little info I've given.

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GS4Life posted...

Well my ride to said party arrived super late and everybody left, my roomate said she was the only one who wanted to wait around and everybody else basically forced her to leave.

A strong "maybe" that never translated and not one to get hung up over.

I've been in situations where someone have given me that kind of mind. If nothing is coming of it, there's only so much to read into. That should never make or break a subsequent relationship.


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The right girl will come along.

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You dont look for a girl, you look for a woman

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Live long and prosper

KaZooo posted...

A strong "maybe" that never translated and not one to get hung up over.

I've been in situations where someone have given me that kind of mind. If nothing is coming of it, there's only so much to read into. That should never make or break a subsequent relationship.

I've done my fair share of flirting and all of it was failure after failure so it left me wondering about the one that got away, that and an unshakable gut feeling.

Samman123 posted...

You dont look for a girl, you look for a woman

semantics the one woman I wanted is mentally strong and fought through a lot of adversity, she inspired me to at least push myself but it eventually it all fell through

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Pepys Monster posted...

The right girl will come along.

Not trying to be a dick (Ik I am) but this is the most cliche thing I've heard coming from people who really don't know me and what drives me at all. They just make assumptions based on their own experiences. Truth sucks but things just don't always fall into place even under seemingly perfect circumstances (just ask Toto).

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GS4Life posted...

Not trying to be a dick (Ik I am) but this is the most cliche thing I've heard coming from people who really don't know me and what drives me at all. They just make assumptions based on their own experiences. Truth sucks but things just don't always fall into place even under seemingly perfect circumstances.

Have you tried settling?

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Pepys Monster posted...

Have you tried settling?

LMAO i nominate this for worst post of the year award
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Pepys Monster posted...

Have you tried settling?

Sad thing is I haven't even gotten the opportunity to settle. I mean I could probably settle for women twice my age I guess but so far that's all settling would have gotten me. But I'm not exactly Harold Parker Chasen (yes I had to google that) or anything.

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You honestly need to learn to love and be comfortable with yourself before you can extend that to others

Like even if you were an ultra chad looking dude if youre sulking and awkward and down all the time then at best youll be a piece of meat they can not call the next day...

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GS4Life posted...

Like me for instance, I had every planet and star in the Universe align for a shot at what really felt like the girl of my dreams, so of course I botched it falling flat on my face and made things awkward

Some people just aren't meant to succeed

and then you remembered theres damn near 7 billion people on the world and one girl doesnt matter.

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GS4Life posted...

I've done my fair share of flirting and all of it was failure after failure so it left me wondering about the one that got away, that and an unshakable gut feeling.

How far did each of those failures get to relationshipwise? If it wasn't anything serious I wouldn't worry about "the one that got away" and all that crap. I'm speaking as someone that used to wonder that shit all the time and I realized it was all bullshit. Now I will say I realized it after getting into a serious relationship w/ my current gf but just don't get hung up on that stuff now because it's pointless. Don't dwell on those failures and keep shooting your shot elsewhere

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dj1200 posted...

and then you remembered theres damn near 7 billion people on the world and one girl doesnt matter.

For better or worse she damn well mattered to me. Introverts are thing not everybody can just go around hitting on girls all willy nilly and move onto the next like none of them matter. I mean I actually tried to do that to an extent it didn't work

Shin Kudo posted... How far did each of those failures get to relationshipwise? If it wasn't anything serious I wouldn't worry about "the one that got away" and all that crap. I'm speaking as someone that used to wonder that shit all the time and I realized it was all bullshit. Now I will say I realized it after getting into a serious relationship w/ my current gf but just don't get hung up on that stuff now because it's pointless. Don't dwell on those failures and keep shooting your shot elsewhere

Well let's just say closest thing to an intimate relationship I ever had was a lap dance from a stripper.

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