Current Events > Should a trans person reveal they are trans before a date?

(+) Yeah! (+)

2Privileged4U posted...

Our attractions are natural. Physical, mental and emotional. If you're not attracted to somebody, you're not attracted. No mental gymnastics or guilt trips are going to change that. Look at the poll and process what that means.

Point to where I called anyone a bigot for not dating trans women. I literally haven't even advocated for them to never divulge that informnation. I just disagree that they have to do it up front. Only certain personalities will be able to do that.

2Privileged4U posted...

You spun the FUCK out that post and added your own bullshit. Who said anything about a life story? You exaggerate, stretch the truth and everything else that's dishonest. No wonder you're advocating for more deception. (I'm not saying being trans in ITSELF is deception. Clarification for the impaired)

Not everyone is comfortable sharing personal information to complete strangers. It is ridiculous to demand that all trans people act a certain way. They won't always be comfortable confiding into everyone they meet. It makes perfect sense that one might not be comfortable telling someone they are trans before they trust them as friends or something more.

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58 karma lol

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hockeybub89 posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

Our attractions are natural. Physical, mental and emotional. If you're not attracted to somebody, you're not attracted. No mental gymnastics or guilt trips are going to change that. Look at the poll and process what that means.

Point to where I called anyone a bigot for not dating trans women. I literally haven't even advocated for them to never divulge that informnation. I just disagree that they have to do it up front. Only certain personalities will be able to do that.

2Privileged4U posted...

You spun the FUCK out that post and added your own bullshit. Who said anything about a life story? You exaggerate, stretch the truth and everything else that's dishonest. No wonder you're advocating for more deception. (I'm not saying being trans in ITSELF is deception. Clarification for the impaired)

Not everyone is comfortable sharing personal information to complete strangers. It is ridiculous to demand that all trans people act a certain way. They won't always be comfortable confiding into everyone they meet. It makes perfect sense that one might not be comfortable telling someone they are trans before they trust them as friends or something more.

It's not at all ridiculous to expect all PEOPLE to be honest about very basic information. Since when did the gender of the person you're dating become "personal information?"

You don't get to violate BASIC dating etiquette just because you've got baggage associated with your identity. You can't pick and choose when you want to be treated like everybody else and when to be treated special just because you're insecure. This "have my cake and eat it too" approach is counter productive to the inclusion goal. Trans or not. That's for everybody.

But if you feel like something as basic as your gender should be withheld from somebody you're trying to find a romantic spark with, you might wanna consider that you're not ready to date. Just not in a place in life to even have a partner because you still need to work on you first. And that's okay too.

Btw, I don't mean YOU personally the vast majority of the time I used "you." But DO apply it wherever it fits.
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OmegaPillow posted...

If this poll was worldwide, itll still look the same. Its common curiosity.

If this poll was in the trans community itd still look the same.
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EffectAndCause posted...

If this poll was in the trans community itd still look the same.

If anyone is brave enough, they can take this poll to Reddit's LGBT community.

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The Trent posted...

aw man he blocked me =(

i also got blocked even though i hardly said anything in the topic, lol

who even was it

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why bother?

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lol

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10 PPP wtf

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Garioshi posted...

10 PPP wtf

embrace tradition

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By chance, I found this. Seems applicable to this topic.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/eh9vag/the_most_wholesome_rejection_ever/

I won't get modded for this, right?

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You just might get modded, lol. And somebody just might accuse your example of being an argument about ALL interactions going that smoothly, and will straw man you to death.
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you shouldn't have been offensive if you didn't want to get modded.

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2Privileged4U posted...

It's not at all ridiculous to expect all PEOPLE to be honest about very basic information. Since when did the gender of the person you're dating become "personal information?"

You don't get to violate BASIC dating etiquette just because you've got baggage associated with your identity. You can't pick and choose when you want to be treated like everybody else and when to be treated special just because you're insecure. This "have my cake and eat it too" approach is counter productive to the inclusion goal. Trans or not. That's for everybody.

But if you feel like something as basic as your gender should be withheld from somebody you're trying to find a romantic spark with, you might wanna consider that you're not ready to date. Just not in a place in life to even have a partner because you still need to work on you first. And that's okay too.

Btw, I don't mean YOU personally the vast majority of the time I used "you." But DO apply it wherever it fits.

Their gender is not secret. Transgender is not a gender. It is perfectly normal and human for someone to not share their baggage with someone before they are comfortable with them. A trans woman is a woman. Whenever she becomes comfortable enough to share more information (now or later), it will either end the relationship or not just like any other potential dealbreaker/preference.

Special treatment is expecting trans people to not handle privacy like every other person and instead tell you things on your schedule to save you a potential headache. My entire point has been how not special being trans is. Another person may or may not be attracted and information may be shared immediately or over time depending on the personality and experience of the trans person. Just like anyone else.

100% of people would vote that world peace would be ideal but that doesn't mean world peace is going to happen. 90% of people agreeing on an ideal does not automatically make it feasible. No one demands people share their other personal baggage in case of dealbreakers. Wouldn't it be ideal if a woman told a man she was mentally ill? Most men would probably not be attracted to mental illness if a stranger told them she had it. Is it common courtesy for those women to remove themselves from the pool?

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wii out here blocking people he gets mad at, lol
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The Trent posted...

hockeybub89 on some 12 angry men shit

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Wewillrocku posted...

you shouldn't have been offensive if you didn't want to get modded.

You're going to have to explain that one to me.

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Masamune_DS posted...

You're going to have to explain that one to me.

why? you weren't the one who was moderated. did you see the post? it's not up anymore and i don't remember what it said. this may be because i didn't know it would be deleted ahead of time (would have tried to remember it). it was something offensive.

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I'm convinced hockeybub doesn't go on dates, because none of that makes sense in response to what was already said. And you're getting further and further off base rather than just conceding to the point you're trying to escape. I'll take that as a hint.

At least the poll suggest there are more sane people than not, so I don't feel discouraged about society as a whole, haha
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Wewillrocku posted...

why? you weren't the one who was moderated. did you see the post? it's not up anymore and i don't remember what it said. this may be because i didn't know it would be deleted ahead of time (would have tried to remember it). it was something offensive.

No, didn't see it. I thought all delete posts were shown as deleted. Never knew they could be completely removed from the topic.

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Sayoria posted...

Yes. For safety and respect of the other person as well.

<u>If you tell and they stay</u>, the fear of it all is gone and the trans person can be who they are without worrying of being "caught." There would be no concern about whether they'd love you if you came out, and they'd know you are incapable of children from the get-go.

<u>If you tell and they don't stay</u>, the trans person dodged a bullet.

<u>If you don't tell and they stay</u>, you live in secrecy every day of your life worried about every little giveaway to your identity. You trap yourself to someone who in private, might physically harm you or even kill you upon finding out. While the "gay panic" defense is bullshit, people who won't take it will WILL attempt to murder a trans person, and this is not a risk worth taking.

<u>If you don't tell and they don't stay</u>, then you again, dodged a bullet.

All in all, it's far better telling anyone you plan to date. Don't have to tell friends, but a lover will find out eventually.

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RickyTheBAWSE posted...

wii out here blocking people he gets mad at, lol

Lol. Someone really needed a safe space!

Aww whos 298 they blocked me or I blocked them and was heartbroken.

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Wewillrocku posted...

58 karma lol

Do you mean me? Cuz if so youre incorrect.

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Agnostic420 posted...

Aww whos 298 they blocked me or I blocked them and was heartbroken.

wewillrocku, he actually has tons of people here blocked

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WoIverine posted...

Wewillrocku posted...

58 karma lol

Do you mean me? Cuz if so youre incorrect.

I don't even understand why that is relevant to anything in the first place tbh
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you don't have 58 karma

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Typically focusing on somebody's karma rather than the content of their post is admittance that you've got nothing of actual merit worth contributing. That's a low quality way of dismissing somebody.
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lmao imagine posting that after i engaged with 2privileged4u and realized they had no interest in posting seriously

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nice 20 karma bro aahahaha

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Wewillrocku posted...

lmao imagine posting that after i engaged with 2privileged4u and realized they had no interest in posting seriously

You put everybody who rips you a new one on ignore then proceed to claim victory. If you had a shred of self awareness, you'd be embarrassed everytime you hit the send button. You're clearly not engaging anybody in good faith so just put the everybody on ignore and move on.
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if you don't follow what's happening in the topic then don't post, it's that simple. jumping to conclusions is not a smart idea.

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Edit: Nevermind. It'll be just another example of what was already said about you. I don't care anymore.

viewmaster_pi posted...

nice 20 karma bro aahahaha

I hear it's all downhill after 21.
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I wish people would just post who theyre referring to when they throw shade about karma and stuff. Otherwise the whole topic gets really confusing to follow.

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oh, i see lol

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WoIverine posted...

I wish people would just post who theyre referring to when they throw shade about karma and stuff. Otherwise the whole topic gets really confusing to follow.

Well tbf shit posting trolls just use it as a counter-point when they can not debate/refute something. So itd be natural theyd be vague as possible so they can sound relevant.

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I dont think Im allowed to respond to this topic.
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thanosibe posted...

WoIverine posted...

I wish people would just post who theyre referring to when they throw shade about karma and stuff. Otherwise the whole topic gets really confusing to follow.

Well tbf shit posting trolls just use it as a counter-point when they can not debate/refute something. So itd be natural theyd be vague as possible so they can sound relevant.

that's how one promotes themselves as being a straight up bitch. I don't worry about those types.
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RickyTheBAWSE posted...

that's how one promotes themselves as being a straight up bitch. I don't worry about those types.

All that means is your constant shit posting on CE is still constant shit posting.

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it's still funny when a shit poster starts blocking people as if they're not the problem themselves, though.
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Everyone who has ever dated a cis person is a piece of shit and a bigot.

Ic3Bullet posted...

Everyone who has ever dated a cis person is a piece of shit and a bigot.

k.
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and here i was thinking tc was wolverine, turns out it's woiverine.

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