Current Events > Should a trans person reveal they are trans before a date?

(+) Yeah! (+)

gunplagirl posted...

What about a topic just for it? I have the link ready to go

Do both. Duncan enjoys the attention

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Absolutely. That orientation does nothing for me.

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When you do it can you post it on your main?
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2Privileged4U posted...

Please elaborate.

I mean, there is no such thing as an unnatural person. "It's natural that people won't be attracted to trans people" is dehumanizing and tells on the type of person who would say it. It implies any attracted to a trans person is acting against nature. It shows ignorance about homosexuality as well since trans men or trans women can be gay, straight, or bi.

It all just proves a bigger agenda than "People have dating preferences".


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BillORileyReid posted...

Naturally - as may be expected; of course.

Why are you taking it to mean something different?

Stop avoiding posts @hockeybub89
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DrunkieBrewster posted...

What boards did these other polls happen at? I was under the impression that this was the general concensus. I think sometimes people forget the definition of a "minority." One of the many truths about being a minority is that you can't win the numbers game.

So again, would a new poll be necessary or can we just use the evidence that reality has already presented to us?

No need to debate the obvious.

Reality has presented to us that 90% of people polled think transgender people should reveal on or before the first date.

Other polls I have seen on this website had the results closer to 80%.

That being said, I think it would be a lot easier for everyone if people who want to date only cisgender people make it know up front they only want to date cisgender people.

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SH_expert44 posted...

Why not both?

Akagami_Shanks posted...

Do both. Duncan enjoys the attention

https://imgur.com/a/gRYwn6k

I did a few back and forths at first, when he asked if I'd be his friend in another message I said sure he seemed all right. Then he wanted to talk about his GF and their sex stuff, kinda... Not really something I was interested in. But I heard him out. And we talked some about my boobs since I post about them all the time and I've replied to a few other CEmen about them. So it's not like that was too bad. But when he messaged over and over again in a row I sincerely considered just letting him get to 3 unread messages so he couldn't send anymore.

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hockeybub89 posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

Please elaborate.

I mean, there is no such thing as an unnatural person. "It's natural that people won't be attracted to trans people" is dehumanizing and tells on the type of person who would say it. It implies any attracted to a trans person is acting against nature. It shows ignorance about homosexuality as well since trans men or trans women can be gay, straight, or bi.

It all just proves a bigger agenda than "People have dating preferences".

So you're saying that our attractions aren't natural, then? We have physical, emotional and mental attractions all across the board, but they aren't natural?
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Duncanwii posted...

Do it. I take your bluff.

Duncan stop digging your own grave man.
Just stop.

Edit-- too late RIP

Duncan is a clown car

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Wewillrocku posted...

what do you mean by this? pride (about who you are) has always been part of lgbt.

They celebrate it because it has always been extremely difficult for people throughout history to come out. The community and its allies know it is still very hard out there for a lot of people to no longer feel shame. Many parts of the world are legislating against and sometimes even killing LGBT folk. They can face incredible difficulties from the friends and family that are supposed to love them, just for admitting they were born different.

Again, all human beings are different. Just because some people can easily come forward doesn't mean all can. Past experiences shape us and some people need to feel safe with someone before they can tell them all.

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gunplagirl posted...

https://imgur.com/a/gRYwn6k

I did a few back and forths at first, when he asked if I'd be his friend in another message I said sure he seemed all right. Then he wanted to talk about his GF and their sex stuff, kinda... Not really something I was interested in. But I heard him out. And we talked some about my boobs since I post about them all the time and I've replied to a few other CEmen about them. So it's not like that was too bad. But when he messaged over and over again in a row I sincerely considered just letting him get to 3 unread messages so he couldn't send anymore.

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gunplagirl posted...

https://imgur.com/a/gRYwn6k

ha vintage duncan

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Musourenka posted...

DrunkieBrewster posted...

What boards did these other polls happen at? I was under the impression that this was the general concensus. I think sometimes people forget the definition of a "minority." One of the many truths about being a minority is that you can't win the numbers game.

So again, would a new poll be necessary or can we just use the evidence that reality has already presented to us?

No need to debate the obvious.

Reality has presented to us that 90% of people polled think transgender people should reveal on or before the first date.

Other polls I have seen on this website had the results closer to 80%.

That being said, I think it would be a lot easier for everyone if people who want to date only cisgender people make it know up front they only want to date cisgender people.

So you understand that they are a minority, but you'd like the majority to change their dating habits to accommodate another's self image?

I'm just trying to get some transparency.
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"A cisgendered person should let people know they only want to date cisgendered people up front"

"A trans person doesn't have to let a cis person know they are trans up front"

ok
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2Privileged4U posted...

So you understand that they are a minority, but you'd like the majority to change their dating habits to accommodate another's self image?

I'm just trying to get some transparency.

No, to accomodate the majority's self image.

Because the majority here are apparently scared of accidentally dating a transperson. And unlike transpeople, the majority aren't at risk of being beat up or killed for being a cisgender person attracted to the opposite cisgender.

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BillORileyReid posted...

"A cisgendered person should let people know they only want to date cisgendered people up front"

"A trans person doesn't have to let a cis person know they are trans up front"

ok

Correct.

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Akagami_Shanks posted...

A lot of things aren't easy to do, dry your eyes and accept the situation at hand.

But the situation is all the things that are hard to do are not just done anyway. I bet you think depressed people should just cheer up and talk out their feelings. You're expecting simple solutions in a complex world. Disney movies aren't real.

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hockeybub89 posted...

But the situation is all the things that are hard to do are not just done anyway. I bet you think depressed people should just cheer up and talk out their feelings. You're expecting simple solutions in a complex world. Disney movies aren't real.

why not?

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Musourenka posted...

Correct.

lmao
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"I only date cis-gendered women."
"you're a bigot! transphobe!"

damned if you do, damned if you don't. that's why I pay attention to people.
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BillORileyReid posted...

Stop avoiding posts @hockeybub89

Every person is as expected. No one is more expected than another.

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I can only imagine every bar conversation. 100 people going to eachother "Hi I'm a cis and I only date cis people, what's your name?"
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Wewillrocku posted...

why not?

Because the world sucks and is trying to kill everyone

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Literally 90 percent lmao

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BillORileyReid posted...

I can only imagine every bar conversation. 100 people going to eachother "Hi I'm a cis and I only date cis people, what's your name?"

Yes I agree that neither cis or trans people should interact with anyone in such a way. You're catching on.

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hockeybub89 posted...

Yes I agree that neither cis or trans people should interact with anyone in such a way. You're catching on.

Musourenka posted...

Correct.

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Musourenka posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

So you understand that they are a minority, but you'd like the majority to change their dating habits to accommodate another's self image?

I'm just trying to get some transparency.

No, to accomodate the majority's self image.

Because the majority here are apparently scared of accidentally dating a transperson. And unlike transpeople, the majority aren't at risk of being beat up or killed for being a cisgender person attracted to the opposite cisgender.

I don't see it as a good long-term idea to trivialize the concerns of a majority whom you'd like to seriously consider the concerns of a minority. You're seriously going to narrow it down to being "scared?"

This is an argument full of holes and slippery slopes.
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This multi quote shit is broken as fuck
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BillORileyReid posted...

Naturally - as may be expected; of course.

Why are you taking it to mean something different?

Stop avoiding posts @hockeybub89

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2Privileged4U posted...

@hockeybub89 posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

Please elaborate.

I mean, there is no such thing as an unnatural person. "It's natural that people won't be attracted to trans people" is dehumanizing and tells on the type of person who would say it. It implies any attracted to a trans person is acting against nature. It shows ignorance about homosexuality as well since trans men or trans women can be gay, straight, or bi.

It all just proves a bigger agenda than "People have dating preferences".

So you're saying that our attractions aren't natural, then? We have physical, emotional and mental attractions all across the board, but they aren't natural?

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I mean i understand some trans individuals are afraid to be upfront about who they are, but assuming every cis individual is going to become a violent murderer is a little extreme imo.

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DrunkieBrewster posted...

I don't see it as a good long-term idea to trivialize the concerns of a majority whom you'd like to seriously consider the concerns of a minority. You're seriously going to narrow it down to being "scared?"

This is an argument full of holes and slippery slopes.

Okay, what are the other concerns of the majority?

My main concern here is that it's not always safe for a transperson to out themselves.

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I don't think they assume every cis individual will become violent, they just have no idea who will and who won't.

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Strider102 posted...

I mean i understand some trans individuals are afraid to be upfront about who they are, but assuming every cis individual is going to become a violent murderer is a little extreme imo.

But the thing is it's pointless to be afraid if you want to date somebody because eventually they are going to find out.
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Musourenka posted...

Okay, what are the other concerns of the majority?

My main concern here is that it's not always safe for a transperson to out themselves.

Sounds super safe to disclose your trans status prior to a date actually

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Musourenka posted...

Okay, what are the other concerns of the majority?

My main concern here is that it's not always safe for a transperson to out themselves.

Infinitely more safe to out themselves in public or over text than later on.

And again, how the FUCK are they going to have a relationship where the other person doesn't find out?
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Strider102 posted...

I mean i understand some trans individuals are afraid to be upfront about who they are, but assuming every cis individual is going to become a violent murderer is a little extreme imo.

that's the only way to be sure, though.
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BillORileyReid posted...

Infinitely more safe to out themselves in public or over text than later on.

And again, how the FUCK are they going to have a relationship where the other person doesn't find out?

BillORileyReid posted...

Infinitely more safe to out themselves in public or over text than later on.

And again, how the FUCK are they going to have a relationship where the other person doesn't find out?

Maybe the relationship ends before it ever gets to the point of finding out?

At some point in a long-term relationship, I agree that it will be brought up.

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Musourenka posted...

DrunkieBrewster posted...

I don't see it as a good long-term idea to trivialize the concerns of a majority whom you'd like to seriously consider the concerns of a minority. You're seriously going to narrow it down to being "scared?"

This is an argument full of holes and slippery slopes.

Okay, what are the other concerns of the majority?

My main concern here is that it's not always safe for a transperson to out themselves.

Not having your time wasted is a shared concern, so why not respect it by being up front before the date? That's mutual respect.

Most people don't like the idea of spending time and money on somebody deliberately withholding information that could make or break the date plan, so why play silly games?

Dating is not easy for trans people. They are in a minority within a minority. There's little that can be done about finding a mate with ease when you're trans.
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gunplagirl posted...

"I have a black friend" isn't exactly a good point

You are not the resident expert on all things trans relations no matter how, oh so badly, you want to be.

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And wtf does cis mean while Im still here

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Agnostic420 posted...

And wtf does cis mean while Im still here

cis is the opposite prefix as trans

it means normal

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At some point in a long-term relationship, I agree that it will be brought up.

And if the person is afraid to bring it up out of fear of consequence, how the fuck is that any different later on?

The person literally is going to find out. Unless all they want is a failed relationship where the other person doesn't get to find out, then by all means let them do their thing.
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ThePrinceFish posted...

cis is the opposite prefix as trans

it means normal

Is that a legit thing? Ive never heard anyone ever say that Im in one of the most prominent LGTBQ towns in the US.

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ThePrinceFish posted...

cis is the opposite prefix as trans

it means normal

Normal is an irrelevant descriptor for human beings. Hitting normalcy on the generic lottery doesn't earn you more or less than the minorities. It's dehumanizing to use the word.

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Cis means you're perfectly fine with the sex you were born as.

Calling it "normal" in this context, while technically true, holds some troublesome implications.

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DrunkieBrewster posted...

They are in a minority within a minority.

not really

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hockeybub89 posted...

Normal is an irrelevant descriptor for human beings. Hitting normalcy on the generic lottery doesn't earn you more or less than the minorities. It's dehumanizing to use the word.

I'm happy you think so.

Agnostic420 posted...

Is that a legit thing? Ive never heard anyone ever say that Im in one of the most prominent LGTBQ towns in the US.

Much like Latinx, it's more the domain of internet activists and woke college students.

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Umbreon posted...

Cis means you're perfectly fine with the sex you were born as.

Calling it "normal" in this context, while technically true, holds some troublesome implications.

It's a fact that it's the statistical majority, or normality

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