Current Events > Having a rough day

(+) Yeah! (+)

Any doubt i have is completely unfounded. I know that she didnt sleep with anyone before she left in December.

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J03can posted...

Any doubt i have is completely unfounded. I know that she didnt sleep with anyone before she left in December.

Agreed still like I said getting checked before and after dating is never a bad idea.

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Yes youre right. That being said though if i ended up having an STD from my wife, that might put me in a really bad state. Like really bad. Id rather be ignorant... i dont know.

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I understand.

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Ugh im doing bad dudes. Real bad. Its not that i think what this person said was true - its not, and they would have absolutely no way of knowing. Its that someone i decided to spend time with would say something like that to someone in my vulnerable position for no fucking reason. It was simply for the drama. Im so fucking down on myself now. Im not going to hurt myself or anything like that but i feel sick to my stomach. My future is not ok. Im not going to be ok. Its all sadness.

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J03can posted...

Ugh im doing bad dudes. Real bad. Its not that i think what this person said was true - its not, and they would have absolutely no way of knowing. Its that someone i decided to spend time with would say something like that to someone in my vulnerable position for no fucking reason. It was simply for the drama. Im so fucking down on myself now. Im not going to hurt myself or anything like that but i feel sick to my stomach. My future is not ok. Im not going to be ok. Its all sadness.

Buddy, you need to calm down.
A buddy told you about a rumor being spread about you and your separated wife.
No one else knows more about what transpired between your wife and yourself but you two.
You didn't start the rumor and most likely she didn't as well.
So there is absolutely nothing to be worried about when it comes to those 5 people simply speculating about shit they know nothing about.

Understand that when these types of negative thoughts come to your mind, don't fuel them with attention.

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KINDERFELD posted...

Buddy, you need to calm down.
A buddy told you about a rumor being spread about you and your separated wife.
No one else knows more about what transpired between your wife and yourself but you two.
You didn't start the rumor and most likely she didn't as well.
So there is absolutely nothing to be worried about when it comes to those 5 people simply speculating about shit they know nothing about.

Understand that when these types of negative thoughts come to your mind, don't fuel them with attention.

Im trying so hard, but they hit me at the wrong time and im having trouble getting these thoughts out.
Also the person who said this rumor is a female. She wasnt invited to my wedding due to her proclivity to start drama. Shes full of shit, and is a scumbag. I know 100% that she has no connection to this or would know anything. If ANYTHING she might have caught wind that my wife is seeing someone since we broke up in december - i dont know this to be true, but if it is, ITS TOTALLY FUCKING OK BECAUSE WE SPLIT UP.

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Lets say she did so what? Seriously she left you worrying about what she may or may not have done wont change anything except make you go insane.

I hate to be harsh but she will be meeting new people and most likely will be sleeping with them that is usually how this works. I understand you still love her but instead of worrying what could have happened or getting upset on her possible sex life worry about your own life as she wants no part of it anymore sadly.

Love hurts all you can do now is let it make you hate her, or you can move on and hope that both of you find someone that can love you back as much or more than you love them.

You seem like a great person, but you are letting your emotions overwhelm you too easily. You made mistakes live and learn from them, but you are trying to dig your own hole to fall into. Instead of falling into that deep hole build yourself a bridge and get over it. If not you will just keep digging that hole deeper and deeper until you get to the bottom to find me waiting there at the bottom just so I can kick your ass out of it over and over until you move on!

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Thank you and youre right, and i know youre right. And generally that is how im acting in my life. I just have these moments where i kind of fall apart and feel like ive been lying to myself and kind of break down for a minute. I hate it.
Because we are through, i dont want to get back together, both of us will be dating going forward, and thats a positive thing. I think the issue here is on friday i didnt surround myself with good supportive friends. I met up with a toxic person who was my friend at one time but now doesnt belong in my life. That was a bit of a tough pill to swallow.
Also, i havent gotten laid in months and its messing with my head... i havent been on any aps because i dont feel im ready for that, but, i tried on that cruise and full disclosure, i was hoping to sleep with the girl i met up with friday, but after talking with her for a while and all that drama i thought no fucking way. Im getting in my own head and thinking that physically theres something wrong with me or i dont put out the right vibe... its all bullshit and i need to control these negative thoughts better.

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Most anyone can have those kinds of moments they dont call somethings emotional roller coasters for nothing as you see it is full of ups and downs, or highs and lows, or recovery and relapses.

You were emotionally tied to this person for a very long time so it is only natural that it is going to be a very long emotional roller coaster to the exit so you can find a new ride/thing to start. Thankfully you have more control of that current ride than anyone, and with a little support hopefully it can be a quick, and smooth ride. But again you are the one with the most control as it is your ride/mind so dont go letting it spiral out of control just take it one hill at a time and relax until this ride comes to a point you can move on to new and hopefully more enjoyable ride.

Sorry for the roller coaster symbolism, but I kind of just went with it I hope the idea of what I am trying to say is clear.

Also sorry cant help you on the getting laid thing, but that is why porn and masturbation exists, or hell fleshlights or whatever they are called.

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Youre absolutely right, and thats the best way to describe it is as a roller coaster.

This is generally where i come to just record my thoughts and i appreciate you and the others in here for talking on these things. When im out and about in my life, im not spirialing out or anything like that, i can put on a face and not let on. I use this as a release for some of those shitty thoughts which i know the answer to, but it helps so much to be validated, or to be called out.

And i totally know im the only one thats going to get me laid and ive got some things to figure out, and i need to stop being down on myself - but also i need to not even think about getting laid for the time being - im not ready and have too much going on to put effort into other people.
Ive said it before though, you guys have been so fucking helpful and supportive - ive got other friends and groups that are helping me too, but this is a very important place for me.
Thank you

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Glad to try and help as much as I can.

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Mistere Man posted...

Glad to try and help as much as I can.

You do help a ton.

Im feeling better today. I think a big reason i had such a bad day yesterday is that i remembered i ate an edible (cannabis). I dont touch it anymore generally becuase it messes with my head, and thats pretty much exactly what happened.

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My wife did a lot of work in the house over the weekend. I have a lot to do this week. The sadness is real.
Shes coming over shortly so we can decide what needs to be done.

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Hang in there man. Just think that soon it'll be in the past.

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I could not remain composure

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Jetblackmoon posted...

Hang in there man. Just think that soon it'll be in the past.

My feeling today is i dont want it to have to be in the past. I fucked up. We have to stage the house so i spent the evening packing up my NES, SNES, and Genesis collection... i cant stress how much that sucks... disassembling my home.

inloveanddeath0 posted...

I could not remain composure

Are you OK dude?

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Spent the evening tonight pulling stuff out of our crawlspace so we can put the stuff we pack up under there. Her dad had put so many boxes down there - one of the boxes has an envelope in it that says "Phone Bills 1994"... i pulled it all out, brought it upstairs and will ask her to have her brother take it or something.

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Hope you're having a better day today.

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Sariana21 posted...

Hope you're having a better day today.

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<3
Thanks guys. I wish i could say its one of those not so nice ones. Still going through the house, cleaning it out which is so rough.

A positive though - im seeing a nice apartment tomorrow and my realtor has me set to see another one early next week. Both are really nice - tomorrows has a better location, next weeks is much bigger so we'll see. Cant wait to be in my own space.
I really thought that id start with the dating aps right away but now im not so sure. Lots of feelings and emotions...

Also i made a nice, healthy dinner tonight. I had been eating out quite a bit in the past week - and most of it has been real shit.

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Would give a bro hug if I could

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<3

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Had our first meeting with our lawyers and us today. According to the lawyers this looks really simple.
My wife came in there all friendly and all smiles, just like any other meeting that wed go to. Not sad at all. Real fucking nice. I feel like a bag of shit.

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J03can posted...

Had our first meeting with our lawyers and us today. According to the lawyers this looks really simple.
My wife came in there all friendly and all smiles, just like any other meeting that wed go to. Not sad at all. Real fucking nice. I feel like a bag of shit.

Its possible she feels differently than how shes presenting herself, but I think its more likely that shes simply had more time to process the breakup and move on. She initiated the divorce, yes?

I think you just need to catch up, in a sense.

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Yes she did, but regardless id expect some sort of emotion or something. I dont know, this is probably one of the reasons she left, i cant be mature about it i guess. Its really fucking me up.

On another note, i saw that apartment today, it was really nice and great location but really small. Im going on Monday to see a much bigger place thats a bit out of the way but not too far. Its comparable to where my house is now from "the action". Its got 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a big living area. Its probably where i am going to live.

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Dollars to dougnuts your wife was coached by her atttorney(s). Don't read anything into her demeanor at the meeting. I suppose you could be thankful she didn't come in with teeth bared.

It's going to be hard. Be kind to yourself.

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Maybe, but we are going through this amicable divorce process. Both of our lawyers are a part of this. We are splitting everything down the middle so there isnt really anything to gain / lose... but who knows...

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J03can posted...

Maybe, but we are going through this amicable divorce process. Both of our lawyers are a part of this. We are splitting everything down the middle so there isnt really anything to gain / lose... but who knows...

I'm not saying there is anything WRONG with her being coached, or with her being nice. All I said was that you shouldn't read anything into it. Just do what you need to do for yourself. Keep it amicable, and everyone comes out better for it in the end.

That doesn't mean it's not going to hurt like hell in the process, though. Only time will help with that. Sorry. :-(

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Yup, youre right. Im the one being overly emotional here... i just wish i could control it better. It feels impossible to put on that "brave face"... like i have every intention to, but then when im in the situation it just switches to sad.

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I haven't posted in a while, but I've been skimming and reading the topic every once in a while. Glad to see you're pushing through it, TC.

One thing I want to touch on is you mentioning the lack of emotion on her part at the first meeting. I think the easiest way to explain it is that she probably started disconnecting from you a long time ago. So as time went on and no changes were happening, she continued to seperate herself, emotionally. it's going to sound shitty when I say this and I apologize, but she's probably less stressed and feels relieved by the change of pace in her life.

If you ask yourself honestly, how would you feel in her shoes dealing with yourself? Do you think you could tolerate it for as long as she did? it's a tough question to answer, but I personally know I couldn't and I know how it feels to become detached emotionally by someone. It's a scary thing how one can love and care for you and then one day just stop.

Fossil posted...

I haven't posted in a while, but I've been skimming and reading the topic every once in a while. Glad to see you're pushing through it, TC.

One thing I want to touch on is you mentioning the lack of emotion on her part at the first meeting. I think the easiest way to explain it is that she probably started disconnecting from you a long time ago. So as time went on and no changes were happening, she continued to seperate herself, emotionally. it's going to sound shitty when I say this and I apologize, but she's probably less stressed and feels relieved by the change of pace in her life.

If you ask yourself honestly, how would you feel in her shoes dealing with yourself? Do you think you could tolerate it for as long as she did? it's a tough question to answer, but I personally know I couldn't and I know how it feels to become detached emotionally by someone. It's a scary thing how one can love and care for you and then one day just stop.

Yeah and i know all of this, and i dont know what im expecting because i dont want her back anyways. I just feel i need to be putting up a sad front and she should be too... but i actually am sad. I dont know, its getting easier and i am going to be able to move on.

I am very much looking forward to seeing the apartment on Monday. Im very confident thats where im going to be living and its really nice. Thats gonna be a great step forward.

The next 2 days we will be together at the house moving extra furniture into the garage so we can show the house next week.

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Hi dudes, so today was alright. We packed stuff and it was fine. I cant help myself so i asked her what was up at the lawyers and she said "i was doing whatever i could to not cry" so yeah shes trying to get through this too. We talked about shit going on in out lives and the type of place we are moving. Its so fucking depressing but its a good thing - i dont know... its all so fucking weird. I love her still but i dont want to be married to her - ive known that for a while.
This shit sucks my dudes...

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J03can posted...

Its so fucking depressing but its a good thing - i dont know... its all so fucking weird. I love her still but i dont want to be married to her - ive known that for a while.
This shit sucks my dudes...

It sounds like its going well, all things considered. Ive heard of some real horror divorce stories, so Im glad youre not going through that.

At some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, you both will be able to reminisce without all the emotional pain. You just gotta be strong until then, and I think you are doing that.

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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

It sounds like its going well, all things considered. Ive heard of some real horror divorce stories, so Im glad youre not going through that.

At some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, you both will be able to reminisce without all the emotional pain. You just gotta be strong until then, and I think you are doing that.

Thanks pal im doing my best. Today is going to be another tough one, but ive made plans for this evening with a good friend so ill have someone to talk to and decompress a bit.

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Another day of packing and again it wasnt bad. Hanging out like we always did for the most part. We argued a bit but not a lot. The house is going on the market on wednesday and we stand to make a lot of money so thats a positive.

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I haven't checked in this weekend but wanted to post as the weekend comes to an end. Keep hagning in there, and you'll get through this. This topic won't last much longer (this is #439 unless I get ninja'd), but you can start a new one if you need to.

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Ah we can bump if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't bump and if they don't bump
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can post where we want to, a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
And we can bump

Safety bump.


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I tried making friends with this christian girl a few days but she ended being unhinged

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inloveanddeath0 posted...

I tried making friends with this christian girl a few days but she ended being unhinged

Oh no what happened?

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J03can posted...

Oh no what happened?

She's married so I just wanted to be friends. She freaked out for some reason with me being a guy which she later found out. Then she freaked out for me being too much into her space. Idk I've never been put in that spot before so I let her have it through asks

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She blocked me at first. So I messaged her on a different tumblr. She said her husband told her to give me another chance. Literally 30 minute's later of me just replying to her she says this was my last chance and she's blocking this account too

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Yeah thats kind of all over the place. Try not to sweat it.

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Ive spent the better part of the past 4 days with my wife. We get along like we always did. We laughed and had some fun. There is no way well be getting back together. This is so fucked up and weird...

I saw the place im going to rent. Its a really big condo. Only issue is the guy who lives there now is kind of a piece of shit that hasnt been paying rent. He says hell be out on the 31st of march according to the landlord. Because i overthink things i feel like hes going to come back a couple months after im living there and murder me in my sleep.

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The house went on the market this morning at 11am and we already have 8 viewings booked

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J03can posted...

Ive spent the better part of the past 4 days with my wife. We get along like we always did. We laughed and had some fun. There is no way well be getting back together. This is so fucked up and weird...

I saw the place im going to rent. Its a really big condo. Only issue is the guy who lives there now is kind of a piece of shit that hasnt been paying rent. He says hell be out on the 31st of march according to the landlord. Because i overthink things i feel like hes going to come back a couple months after im living there and murder me in my sleep.

Ask the landlord to change the locks.

Congrats on the mulitple viewings. I hope the sale goes smoothly.

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Stay strong. You're giving me hope too, man. If you can get through this, I can get through my shit.

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Sariana21 posted...

Ask the landlord to change the locks.

Congrats on the mulitple viewings. I hope the sale goes smoothly.

Definitely. And he says he will.

Jetblackmoon posted...

Stay strong. You're giving me hope too, man. If you can get through this, I can get through my shit.

Fuck yeah you can!

16 showings booked over the next 3 days

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How much are you asking for the house? If you said already and I forgot I am sorry.

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More positive vibes

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