Current Events > Having a rough day

(+) Yeah! (+)

Great update! Welcome home!

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Sariana21 posted...

Great update! Welcome home!

Couldnt put it better!

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Thanks everyone!
Ive been home for the past hour or so. Kind of coming down from the week and dealing with some rough feels.
My wife stayed at the house while i was gone and did some "de-cluttering". The big one was take the pictures and magnets off the fridge... doesnt sound like it would be a big deal but its one of the things that makes this feel like less of a home now.
Also she sent a couple of messages letting me know about things but theres just such an indifference in the way we interact now that just fucking hurts...
But again, its most likely the crash from being around so many people to now being at home with the cats.

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J03can posted...

Thanks everyone!
Ive been home for the past hour or so. Kind of coming down from the week and dealing with some rough feels.
My wife stayed at the house while i was gone and did some "de-cluttering". The big one was take the pictures and magnets off the fridge... doesnt sound like it would be a big deal but its one of the things that makes this feel like less of a home now.
Also she sent a couple of messages letting me know about things but theres just such an indifference in the way we interact now that just fucking hurts...
But again, its most likely the crash from being around so many people to now being at home with the cats.

Go buy some new magnets and photos maybe from your cruise. Don't regret/dwell on the past keep moving forward and make everyday a new experience.

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Absolutely! Im going to leave it as is and start fresh when i move to a new place. The next month will be preparing the house to sell

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Having a vacation come down... last night i drove to my buds place and watched the ufc event. Stayed over and got home this morning around 11am. Been napping since (yesterday was a long travel day).
Got a message from my wife, she wanted to come by and pick up some stuff she forgot. It sucked seeing her. This is the worst. I still love her. Ill be fine, im just having rough feelings and this helps.

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Back to work today, it was a good day.
That trip gave me a ton of needed confidence.

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J03can posted...

Back to work today, it was a good day.
That trip gave me a ton of needed confidence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Dc6Pre77AY

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Nothing much to add, so just bumping. Hi, TC!

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Hi! Im out of town on a work thing tonight. I got pretty drunk. Ive never really drank on these things before. Id say i hope i didnt make too much of a fool of myself but other people defintiely eclipsed me on that.
One of the reasons i let loose tonight was that my wife messaged me today saying she wanted a call. She has found an apartment ($1900 a month...) and she wants support to pay for this before we sell the house (soon).
I said im not going to do that unless a lawyer says that i have to. Im worried things are about to get ugly. I will keep CE posted.
These interactions aren't good for me at all. Shes always reminding me that this is "all my fault". Yes i had said some ugly things over the years (12 years) sometimes when we would fight bad but there was nothing around the time we broke up. It takes 2. Ugh dudes im drunk right now. I wish it was 6 months from now...

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J03can posted...

Hi! Im out of town on a work thing tonight. I got pretty drunk. Ive never really drank on these things before. Id say i hope i didnt make too much of a fool of myself but other people defintiely eclipsed me on that.
One of the reasons i let loose tonight was that my wife messaged me today saying she wanted a call. She has found an apartment ($1900 a month...) and she wants support to pay for this before we sell the house (soon).
I said im not going to do that unless a lawyer says that i have to. Im worried things are about to get ugly. I will keep CE posted.
These interactions aren't good for me at all. Shes always reminding me that this is "all my fault". Yes i had said some ugly things over the years (12 years) sometimes when we would fight bad but there was nothing around the time we broke up. It takes 2. Ugh dudes im drunk right now. I wish it was 6 months from now...

No. No to paying anything not court ordered. If you do, that's coming back to continue. Glad you got the attorney, seems things may get ugly.

Sorry dude, I've got nothing upbeat to say here

Edit: if you help her, financially, that will continue in the divorce proceedings. She can manage while you negotiate the proceedings same as you.

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She chose to leave. She can choose to find her own rent money.

Sorry to hear about the sour turn.

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Sariana21 posted...

She chose to leave. She can choose to find her own rent money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N9J7PLps_8

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Yeah, listen to these guys. No joke. Do not pay that rent, even if she tries to soften the blow by asking for just some of the money or tries to guilt-trip you into it.

You are getting a divorce that she wanted. She cant come running back, telling you to pay for stuff. I mean, not unless you let her do it. Dont.

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Mistere Man posted...

Sariana21 posted...

She chose to leave. She can choose to find her own rent money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N9J7PLps_8

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Hey guys, yeah i know. Unless advised by my lawyer, i wont be paying her rent at all. The most i could see happening is she doesnt pay bills on our house anymore aside from the mortgage.
Sucks though dudes. I just want this to be over with

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Going to have a call with her tonight.
She has still been paying utility bills at the house. To compromise ill have her stop paying those, but she will still have to pay the house and insurance.
Im going to see an apartment tomorrow in a building im very interested in living in.
Its pretty pricy but i am going to treat myself coming out if this.

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J03can posted...

Going to have a call with her tonight.
She has still been paying utility bills at the house. To compromise ill have her stop paying those, but she will still have to pay the house and insurance.
Im going to see an apartment tomorrow in a building im very interested in living in.
Its pretty pricy but i am going to treat myself coming out if this.

I'm not sure why you're compromising here. It's your house and it's her house. The bills don't change. More to the point, if it's contested, if she's paying the house and insurance? Guess whose house it is now? Stop that, it's a shared asset at this point. 50/50 or you're setting yourself up.

Apologies for the @J03can but you need to see this

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She wont stop paying the mortgage or insurance, im talking about the water and gas. If shes not living here, shes not using them and i can agree with that.
And dont worry, im not giving her anything for where shes going to live.

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Valentines day was rough. Not for any particular reason other than being alone... good thing is i had an announcing gig tonight so i was around a lot of friends and got to be in front of a crowd, so that was nice. It could be worse, but it still hurts

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Announced an amazing show tonight - one of the best ive ever seen. Im so lucky to have that while i go through this.
Back at home by myself now unfortunately... bummed out but ill be ok

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Bumping to check in on TC.

Are you an emcee or something? What do you mean by "announced an amazing show"?

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I mentioned it a couple of times but theres so much in this topic it can easily go missed. Im a ring announcer for an independant pro wrestling promotion where i live. I train there as well to be a wrestler but being that i started training when i was 36, i probably wont make it far in the ring. My coach/the promoter needed an announcer about a year ago and gave me a shot - ive done around 40 shows since, including an episode of impact wrestling filmed in toronto last july. I do all the intros and get the crowd going, so yeah im basically the emcee. I fucking love doing it, and ive intro'd some big names (well big to me). Its actually pretty surreal.

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I saw those. It's good to keep on with that. Keeping yourself out in the public, and doing something you enjoy is good on many levels.

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powerman1426 posted...

I saw those. It's good to keep on with that. Keeping yourself out in the public, and doing something you enjoy is good on many levels.

Forsure! Im so thankful to have it. Its such a good positive group of people. Also, being comfortable in front of a crowd has been really good for my self esteem. Im going to be fine, i just wish i could jump instantly to 3 months from now

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Today SUCKED hence the fast food. Real estate agent came over and met with my wife and i. We are going on the market a week from wednesday. A ton of work to be done between now and then to get the house ready. My wife and i got some stuff out of the crawlspace today and that really sucked, lots of emotions...

*taken from another topic about fast food where @inloveanddeath0 asked how im doing

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I found an amazing apartment on kijiji today - right up my alley and really big - 1045 square feet. Also an underground parking spot. I am going to see it tomorrow at 3pm. Hopefully ill be moving in at the beginning of April, but im getting ahead of myself.

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J03can posted...

I found an amazing apartment on kijiji today - right up my alley and really big - 1045 square feet. Also an underground parking spot. I am going to see it tomorrow at 3pm. Hopefully ill be moving in at the beginning of April, but im getting ahead of myself.

Best wishes, that is a decent amount of space. Off street parking is definitely a good thing. Keep moving forward, you're doing the right things

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J03can posted...

kijiji

For a second I thought that was an island or something.

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My cat just pissed on my couch... hes never done that before... so my future smells like piss now.

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J03can posted...

My cat just pissed on my couch... hes never done that before... so my future smells like piss now.

That means its their couch now.

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Well he might not be coming to the new house... i cant deal with this shit

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J03can posted...

Well he might not be coming to the new house... i cant deal with this shit

It could just be stress related I you cant blame them as its humans are going though a rough time it is probably stressed also losing its loved ones.

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I had to take him to get vaccinations today, so thats probably it. But thats not something i can deal with every time he has to do something stressful

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J03can posted...

I had to take him to get vaccinations today, so thats probably it. But thats not something i can deal with every time he has to do something stressful

Your ex does not want the cat?

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We have 2. We are splitting them up and the other cat is essentially hers and this one is mine.

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Has your cat been checked for a UTI or diabetes?

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No. But he had been to the vet like 2 hours prior to get his vaccines up to date.
The cat litter was 1 day overdue to being changed. That coupled with leaving the house caused him to act out.

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Geeze my dudes, today is super rough and i dont really know why. Maybe all the stress is catching up to me, i dont know. Im out here working and am sitting in one of my offices and am on the verge of teara and i dont even really know why.
I just fucking want it to be June and living in a nice place. I dont even care if i overpay - i just want it to be nice.

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J03can posted...

Geeze my dudes, today is super rough and i dont really know why. Maybe all the stress is catching up to me, i dont know. Im out here working and am sitting in one of my offices and am on the verge of teara and i dont even really know why.
I just fucking want it to be June and living in a nice place. I dont even care if i overpay - i just want it to be nice.

Its Ok to feel what youre feeling. Youre human and youve been through a traumatic event. Emotions are your friend here because theyre helping you to process everything and then preparing you to move on in life. Hang in there, bro. (Maybe go get a good steak and catch a movie, if thats what you like.)

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Thanks bro. My parents are away for a few weeks so i drove to their place and am going to stay there for the weekend - my wife is at the house this weekend preparing her stuff for us to show the house and for us to move... i dont live in the same town so im over visiting my brother and his wife and my nephew right now. Im gonna get a pizza on my way back to my parents house. Im feeling better now.
Gonna work from home (well my parents house) tomorrow then head to a friends on saturday. So ill be busy and around good people.

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Went out with a couple friends who still live in my hometown last night. One of them decided to make drama and tell me about a rumor going around like 5 people that we are divorcing becuase she cheated on me (im pretty confident she didnt) -or- that i broke up with her because she did lots of drugs (she didnt).
Now I dont believe it because we dont even know these people that started these rumors in another town, but ive got this gross feeling today that i feel is a new feeling thatll be here for a while. It feels like a tumor.

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J03can posted...

Went out with a couple friends who still live in my hometown last night. One of them decided to make drama and tell me about a rumor going around like 5 people that we are divorcing becuase she cheated on me (im pretty confident she didnt) -or- that i broke up with her because she did lots of drugs (she didnt).
Now I dont believe it because we dont even know these people that started these rumors in another town, but ive got this gross feeling today that i feel is a new feeling thatll be here for a while. It feels like a tumor.

Dont worry about rumors and such crap people will always find reasons to gossip. All you can do is trust yourself as you know the truth and not worry about anyone else.

Here let this inspire you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2YqGciFOmM

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Youre right, but ugh i let these things in and now im spiraling and i feel like shit... like she didnt cheat on me but now hearing it makes me think about it, which i wasnt before and i cant shake this terrible feeling that is totally unnecessary, because even if she did cheat on me, it doesnt matter anymore!

But i love that you linked Home Movies - one of my all time faves.

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J03can posted...

Youre right, but ugh i let these things in and now im spiraling and i feel like shit... like she didnt cheat on me but now hearing it makes me think about it,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g27Q17QlXpE

which i wasnt before and i cant shake this terrible feeling that is totally unnecessary, because even if she did cheat on me, it doesnt matter anymore!

Exactly it doesnt matter anymore move on as dwelling on it is not healthy.


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Mistere Man has good advice. Ignore the rumors; don't feed the rumors (even in your own mind).

I hope your cat is doing better, too.

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Ughhhhhhh well, i think i learned that im done hanging out with hometown friends.

Heading to another friends house today, in another town. Hes the dude ive been hanging out with the most through this. Itll be a nice way to get out of this funk

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Not to encourage the rumors but if you have any doubt about her possibly cheating get yourself tested for std's I mean just Incase as you dont want to find out later of dangerous surprises. Heck doing this before going back out into the dating world is a good idea just to have a base to check against later.

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