Current Events > Having a rough day

(+) Yeah! (+)

I just cooked for the first time since this all went down. Nothing special, just fried up some veggies and rice and ground beef in my wok - made a ton, itll last a few days. I love to cook - usually nicer meals but its a start.
Talked to my wife a bunch today over messenger about where this is headed - this is taking forever - we will probably put the house on the market in March or April. We live in a very sought after neighborhood so itll probably sell quickly, and we stand to make a big profit.

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I always wanted a wok and to learn how to cook things with one.

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Mistere Man posted...

I always wanted a wok and to learn how to cook things with one.

Its super easy, they are kind of expensive but you buy one and it lasts forever. You just throw stuff in it, start with some oil, onion, garlic - i added brocolli, cauliflower, carrot, musheooms, sometimes add some sauces or a bit of water and boil it off. I cooked up some rice in my instant pot, some ground beef in a separate pan, then added them both to the wok, then mixed it all up.

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J03can posted...

Its super easy, they are kind of expensive but you buy one and it lasts forever. You just throw stuff in it, start with some oil, onion, garlic - i added brocolli, cauliflower, carrot, musheooms, sometimes add some sauces or a bit of water and boil it off. I cooked up some rice in my instant pot, some ground beef in a separate pan, then added them both to the wok, then mixed it all up.

Sounds really good. Will a normal gas stove work or do you need one of those adapters to hold the wok?

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I have a stove with the flat top thats electrically powered. Im sure youd have no problem on a gas stove, just make sure the wok you buy is good for gas stoves - i dont even know if thats a thing or if all pots and pans can work with both...
One thing to remember is to vary your heat, if its getting too hot and the onions are going to burn, turn it down and/or add a bit of water

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Awesome and thank you.

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Mistere Man posted...

Awesome and thank you.

No prob! If you have questions feel free to PM me

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Mistere Man posted...

Sounds really good. Will a normal gas stove work or do you need one of those adapters to hold the wok?

It depends. Some newer woks have flat bottoms that will sit on any stove, but I don't know anything about their quality. A traditional round-bottomed wok will need a ring adapter in order to sit on a typical gas stove. These are easy to get, though (if your stove did not come with one). The wok itself may come with one (ours did).

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Sariana21 posted...

It depends. Some newer woks have flat bottoms that will sit on any stove, but I don't know anything about their quality. A traditional round-bottomed wok will need a ring adapter in order to sit on a typical gas stove. These are easy to get, though (if your stove did not come with one). The wok itself may come with one (ours did).

Interesting I will see if I can find one with an adapter.

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My wok is flat bottomed

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Saw my therapist this morning. We talked about the past couple weeks and a few things that i need to work on like positive self talk and triggers to look out for in the future, but for right now i dont NEED him.

We had an appointment booked for next week but i pushed it out to 2 weeks. I need to push through this divorce and work on myself but really we are just going in circles.

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Feels like when i see my therapist my day goes to shit. I have this irrational fear that my job is in jeopardy. Also i was doing laundry and ran into some christmas stuff, including her card to me last year where she pointed out how excited she was to be spending our first christmas married together... fuck man these feels suck.

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Just bumpin so this doesnt go away

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We check in on you periodically. I hope things are starting to get better. Its going to be tough; dont give up on yourself.

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It is getting better, but some days are still tough. Not usually as tough as when i started this topic, but still.

I had a couple of dreams we reconciled last night, waking up was a kick in the teeth. But during those dreams i even question if its a good idea we get back together... just lots of ups and downs and lots to figure out still going forward.

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Had a good night last night, helped out at a wrestling show in my hometown. Ended up working the ring bell - they already had a ring announcer. Was good to be around some good buds. Stayed over at my parents house and going to head to a friend's place today to hang out

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Hold on to family and friends.

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Sariana21 posted...

Hold on to family and friends.

Treasure them while you can.

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Thanks guys, its getting better. First thing in the morning is still tough though.
Ive accepted that this had to happen and is for the best

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Bumping for TC. Hang in there.

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It's good to hear it's getting better.

Sariana21 posted...

Hang in there.

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Thanks guys. Theres ups and downs. I talked to her yesterday on the phone while i was driving home for like an hour. Talked about what happened at the end. It was good to talk it out, it didnt change anything - after everything ive been through in the past month, i dont want to go through that again if we were to get back together and this just happened again. It was a good talk though in that we werent yelling at each other and we dont hate each other... just a very confusing time...

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I dont think its really helpful to continue talking to your ex so much. I mean I get it that you have history and you cared about her, and on top of that is guilt. But you cant heal this way. Its like bandaging up a huge cut and the doctor is telling you to rest, but you keep pulling out the stitches and trying to run marathons.

Its good that at least youre not fighting or getting too emotional now, but Im hoping you can put some distance between the two of you. Itll give you the perspective you need and help you avoid not acting in your best interest.

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I agree that in healing i shouldnt talk to her, but, the part of me that thinks about the 12 years together feels like i owe it to us to try to fix this... thats the horrible confusing part.
I love her, we had a good run minus a couple roadblocks. Her leaving should have been a "get your shit together" leaving, not a "we are seperating and selling the house and getting a divorce" leaving.

But yeah, in talking to her ive ripped out stitches and am prolonging the healing that i was doing. I dont know what to do. There was distance between us, but coming up we will have to meet up to draw up our seperation agreement, and to divide the things in the house. Its going to be fucking rough.

Im looking forward to the cruise at the end of the month but im also second guessing that... does this show her that i dont give a shit and want out? (I told her im going away and she said thats nice and is happy she will be able to spend that week at the house) Im not going away to hook up, but if i did, how would that affect me? Just lots of unknowns at this point.

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Bumpin

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J03can posted...

Im looking forward to the cruise at the end of the month but im also second guessing that... does this show her that i dont give a shit and want out?

No, it shows you've accepted the situation as it currently stands. Go and enjoy your trip, let your mind relax

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Youre right. Thanks man. Ive been a bit all over the place lately. Part of the process i suppose... i know ill be ok and i know this trip is the right thing.

There have been a couple people around me at work - both older ladies, who imply that i should be doing more to get her back. They arent doing it out of anywhere bad, i think they are just bummed because we just got married a year and a half ago

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J03can posted...

Youre right. Thanks man. Ive been a bit all over the place lately. Part of the process i suppose... i know ill be ok and i know this trip is the right thing.

There have been a couple people around me at work - both older ladies, who imply that i should be doing more to get her back. They arent doing it out of anywhere bad, i think they are just bummed because we just got married a year and a half ago

You needn't do more. You've left the door open for her, it seems she isn't interested right now. Perhaps for her, that door is closed.

Either way, continue to soldier on. It's up to you and her in this, I wouldn't take the workplace thoughts with even a grain of salt.

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Good advice. I need to do that. I got 7 messages from her while i was having lunch today. It was about her having done something that i needed her to do, but 7 messages? I need to tell her to stop messaging me and to start sending shit via email.

What i need to do is to continue "giving her space", not only for her but for me too.

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16 days till cruise day

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J03can posted...

Good advice. I need to do that. I got 7 messages from her while i was having lunch today. It was about her having done something that i needed her to do, but 7 messages? I need to tell her to stop messaging me and to start sending shit via email.

What i need to do is to continue "giving her space", not only for her but for me too.

You really do need to do this, for legal reasons. Email leaves an electronic trail.

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We were doing that, then there was a problem with the hot water tank when she was home and she started using fb messanger. Next time she messages ill say we need to go back to email

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By now, youve spoken directly to an attorney who can represent you, right?

Sorry, I mightve missed it, if you mentioned that earlier. Please do that right away, if you havent yet. Youre going to really need someone who has experience with this and will be basically working to protect you, as well as hopefully give you some advice to get through it more comfortably (for lack of a better word).

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Ive talked to 4 different attorneys on the phone at length. Im meeting with the one i like on the 22nd .

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Yeah, even if you don't think you need one, you do. This isn't about pettiness, this is about looking out for you. Better to have an attorney that is up on the situation than scramble for one later. CYOA, cover your own ass

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Forsure, good looking out. But dont worry - theres no way i would go into this without one.

Im accepting this and am definitely not as much of a sad sack as i was - i open up on here generally more than with friends and probably come off as overly sad... i am, but i am getting better. Right now im just sick of dealing with this seperation BS and just wish i could move into my next place and be done with it.

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Nah, you're not being overly sad in my opinion. It's a blow, you're dealing with it. Sad is expected.

But you're doing the right things, reaching out to friends and family. Getting an attorney for the legal stuff. Planning some you time to get back on track.

Take it at your own pace, you're sounding much better now than the beginning of this topic for what it's worth. It's gonna take time, but keep doing you, you'll be ok

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Thanks man, i feel much better and things feel "right" if that makes sense.

Ive got an announcing gig tonight and tomorrow which will be a lot of fun and im around great friends.

2 weeks from today, i fly to miami and 2 weeks for tomorrow im on the cruise.


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She messaged me today and i asked her if we could go back to email as long as its not an emergency and she was fine with that.

Im in the stage of this grieving process where im kind of mad at her, so ive got to keep my attitude in check

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Hang in there and keep yourself busy.

You got this.

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Thanks pal, feeling better about this all the time.

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J03can posted...

She messaged me today and i asked her if we could go back to email as long as its not an emergency and she was fine with that.

Im in the stage of this grieving process where im kind of mad at her, so ive got to keep my attitude in check

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Avn2nT16FA

Just kidding.

Glad you are doing better.

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Checking in on TC (aka bumping).

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Thanks guys! I am doing a lot better every day, but there are still tough ones.
After my announcing gig last night i drove to my parents (wife is at the house last night and tonight) and have just hung out with my mom who watched tv and i played my switch.

Was the first lazy day ive had where it wasnt because i was horribly depressed.

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Sing a sad song TC should turn it around

Heres a cute bunny video to help cheer you up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKBNY_5CIAE

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That was a very nice wholesome video.

I went and saw an apartment today - i didnt like it but I'm moving forward at least.

My wife stopped by to pick up some stuff a few minutes ago. We talked and it was fine. Im accpeting things better now, im moving on - i dont know when ill be dating again but i know ill be alright. I guess i keep saying the same thing, but, whatever i guess things are pointed in the right direction

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Big surprise to probably noone - today isnt great - im in a mood. Usually happens after i see my wife... it was put best earlier in this topic - staying away ive got the bandaid on and am healing, then i talk with her, ripping the bandaid off and tearing open the wound...

Im going to see my therapist tomorrow morning, then my lawyer tomorrow afternoon.

Cruise is in 11 days.

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I wish you the best, man. I'm going through some similar stuff and I know it isn't easy. Hang in there.

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You too dude. We'll be ok.

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