Current Events > Man: Men arent in relationships to play step daddy and take care of your kids...

(+) Yeah! (+)

St0rmFury posted...

So basically a man is considered to hit the jackpot if the single mother he's dating is completely fine if he's not down with the idea of taking care of her kid?

If you're a single guy with no kids and you are dating a single mom with multiple kids you are an idiot.
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No youre not.
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spikethedevil posted...

No youre not.

Yeah, you are. How hard it is it to find a single girl with no kids unless you're a loser in your 30s?
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It's fine if there are kids involved, just don't expect us to take care of them for you if we aren't in a committed relationship. I dated a woman with a 6 month old. Checking up on them every now and then is fine, but it got to the point where she was using me to drive her to get diapers, and food for the baby, while I get that it is a part of being in a relationship with someone with a new born, it came to be too much for me. There were days when her dad said he would look after his grand daughter and she said she would let him look after her, only to change her mind afterwards, so we never had a proper date night just the two of us.

It didn't help that she didn't like to be kissed either. I actually fell for her the first day I met her and didn't mind that she had a kid, but I could see the big picture that she didn't care for me at all and only used me for my car.

MisterPorn posted...

Fair, Next. Child support was made for a reason. You knock up a woman you gotta support the child. If you dating a woman with kids not your job to support them. If you get married sure then you their step dad. But not if you dating.

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Every single mom I know won't even introduce a man to their kids until 1-3 months into things, when they're sure that it's going somewhere. Kids are quick to attach to people and it fucks them up if someone just up and leaves their life. I've seen it happen many a time.

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When you're a certain age you date with the expectation of being a fatherly figure. Saying that you don't want to be someone's step-dad just means you're just in it for the sex.
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pres_madagascar posted...

Every single mom I know won't even introduce a man to their kids until 1-3 months into things, when they're sure that it's going somewhere. Kids are quick to attach to people and it fucks them up if someone just up and leaves their life. I've seen it happen many a time.

And that's why it's a bad thing when the mom has a revolving door of men in her life. It messes up the kids.
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If she's up front about already having kids from another guy, be up front about whether or not you're down with being the new dad. Don't string her along.

If she lied her ass off in her profile, etc and dropped the "btw I'm mom" at the last minute, feel free to use her up like a Dixie cup before you bail...

Don't play games unless you want games.
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

When you're a certain age you date with the expectation of being a fatherly figure. Saying that you don't want to be someone's step-dad just means you're just in it for the sex.

False, the father is responsible for the single mother's children, that is what "child support" is, if your only dating her then you are NOT suppose to or obligated to be "step father", only if you marry her does that apply.
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pres_madagascar posted...

Every single mom I know won't even introduce a man to their kids until 1-3 months into things, when they're sure that it's going somewhere. Kids are quick to attach to people and it fucks them up if someone just up and leaves their life. I've seen it happen many a time.

This. The majority of women I fucked who had children never introduced me to them. This notion that single mothers are on the hunt for new daddies is laughable in its ignorance


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You have to be a special kind of idiot to date a single mother and somehow expect her kids not to play any type of role in the relationship
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OctilIery posted...

What a shitty tweet. He might be right, depending on what he intended to say, but he worded it awfully. When you start dating someone you're dating them and not the kid, yes, but with the understanding that for it to get serious, you have to step into a step-dad role

I'm pretty sure he worded it exactly how he wanted. Look at all the attention.
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BeantownHero posted...

pres_madagascar posted...

Every single mom I know won't even introduce a man to their kids until 1-3 months into things, when they're sure that it's going somewhere. Kids are quick to attach to people and it fucks them up if someone just up and leaves their life. I've seen it happen many a time.

This. The majority of women I fucked who had children never introduced me to them. This notion that single mothers are on the hunt for new daddies is laughable in its ignorance

The notion that ALL single mothers are looking for new dads for their children is ignorant.
However, denying that a noteworthy percentage of single mothers intent on dating men DO have that inevitable goal would also be ignorant.
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some girl i talk to told me she needs $800 for to have a birthday party and gifts for her kid, i guess according to you people i need to be mature and fully fund her
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Andrew06 posted...

some girl i talk to told me she needs $800 for to have a birthday party and gifts for her kid, i guess according to you people i need to be mature and fully fund her

Man up by telling her "no", not your child, not your responsibility, the child's father should be funding the party, plus the gifts not you.
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teepan95 posted...

It is very disheartening to see so many young men fall into the trap of entitlement and selfishness - to avoid family life based on some silly preconceived notions, to feel they are entitled to have a family on THEIR terms, and to only have children when it provides some sense of satisfaction to them. To me, it personally fulfilling to watch Aiden, Braiden, and Caiden every other weekend (hearing them say "oh, hey Pete" when I come over is one of the most satisfying things in a "father's" life), and I don't need the satisfaction that I somehow contributed to the conception of these children.

You sound more like a slave then anything else, wanting all other man to conform and obey. Your entire post boiled down to if mans isnt giving everything up for others(for nothing) essentially then he's a worthless irresponsible manchild. F*** you. Nobody decides if I'm a man but myself.

Man are individuals with their own hobby's, emotions, needs and desires. Many of whom work very hard for their wealth and resources and arent interested in giving it all up and their lives for the honor of playing 'captain save a hoe' to single mothers. I'm glad it worked out for you honestly but your predicament is not guaranteed.

Also your opening statement is lol worthy, a hundred years ago this thing called patriarchy existed, but not anymore.


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@Prismsblade

It's a fake "copy paste" that often surfaces in topics like this, it's fooled everyone at some point or another, it's not real just someone trolling.
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Anteaterking posted...

But I also think that for casually dating/getting to know someone, it's unreasonable for them to expect you to make an investment in her children.

Yeah I mean until it's getting serious its not really fair to the kids to introduce a new father-figure type person in their lives when there is a good chance they'll be out of the picture soon anyway.

Plus it sort of depends how involved the father still is. Totally out of the picture? Making occasional cameos? Or totally trying to be with his kids as much as possible and being a good dad even though relationship with the mother didn't work out? Definitely don't want to step on a dude's toes if he's legit being as good a dad as he can under the circumstances.

But obviously if its getting serious and long term that's a different story.
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if a single mom is up front about looking for a boyfriend she eventually wants to marry, it should go without much saying that she's going to expect him to participate in raising her kids at some point, it might even be in her profile lol

but it's 100% on the woman to prove she's still worth sticking around for and that she can keep those kids in check

if she's either immediately relying on the new man to discipline those kids...or worse she expects him to pay for the household without giving him any authority over it....thats a dumb ass bitch you don't need, keep walkin guys
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Prismsblade posted...

teepan95 posted...

It is very disheartening to see so many young men fall into the trap of entitlement and selfishness - to avoid family life based on some silly preconceived notions, to feel they are entitled to have a family on THEIR terms, and to only have children when it provides some sense of satisfaction to them. To me, it personally fulfilling to watch Aiden, Braiden, and Caiden every other weekend (hearing them say "oh, hey Pete" when I come over is one of the most satisfying things in a "father's" life), and I don't need the satisfaction that I somehow contributed to the conception of these children.

You sound more like a slave then anything else, wanting all other man to conform and obey. Your entire post boiled down to if mans isnt giving everything up for others(for nothing) essentially then he's a worthless irresponsible manchild. F*** you. Nobody decides if I'm a man but myself.

Man are individuals with their own hobby's, emotions, needs and desires. Many of whom work very hard for their wealth and resources and arent interested in giving it all up and their lives for the honor of playing 'captain save a hoe' to single mothers. I'm glad it worked out for you honestly but your predicament is not guaranteed.

Also your opening statement is lol worthy, a hundred years ago this thing called patriarchy existed, but not anymore.

Imagine getting yourself modded over a blatant copypasta
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aki_sora posted...

Rip man men dead loss money shot up 96 stepchildren

LMAO
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How far things have fallen if this is somehow seen as a controversial viewpoint.
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There are bad stepdads on both sides of politics.
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I you have problems with a woman's kids, don't date the woman. Simple. Fine ass women in their 30s usually have kids and that's the trade-off.

There are plenty of single women without kids too so really having that particular viewpoint doesn't make much of a difference either way.
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jesus fuck how many alts crawled out of the woodwork to post in this topic lol

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Kinda comes as a package deal. Non-negotiable.

Thats why I ducked out on my last fuck buddy. She had two boys that I sincerely didnt want in my life. Not because theres something wrong with the kids. Im just not at a point in life to take care of another dudes kids, let alone have any of my own.
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Dating a single mom is fine. Not all of them are stereotypical nuts.
But there's been a song & dance to dating single parents for decades too...
BOTH the new boyfriend AND the single mom have their jobs to do in order to make it work.

Making the arrangement a success is not (and should not) be exclusively on the new man to do.

If stepping up to support the kids is expected to eventually be part of the new boyfriend's job, keeping that man interested and making the kids behave is the single mom's job.
The latter means giving the man an incentive to stick around and telling the kids to knock their bullshit off. And if he's going to be expected to pay up like a dad, then he needs to eventually be given some authority like a dad too.

If the single mom is already dumping expenses on the new boyfriend, she allows the kids to treat him like shit, and she gatekeeps intimacy behind taking care of her kids first...she does NOT seriously want to keep a boyfriend. She's not even trying. When she's dropping the ball that badly, the offer she's making is not attractive. Most guys are naturally not going to be down for it. And that's on her...

Guys got their own deals they pass in front of women they want to date.
And when the women they ask out keep saying no thanks...it's on the guys to change and sweeten those deals.

Same said for a single moms. If the household is a disaster and the kids are monsters, you got no business dragging someone else in before you fix that shit.
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