Current Events > A Chad was hitting on me at the bar

(+) Yeah! (+)

TC that sounds eerily similar to what happened to me the other day.

I traveled to the main office this week and was out with coworkers at a bar the other night when one of the other sales guys on a different team noticed me. He kept hovering around me and checking me out. He was tall, hot with an athletic build and very confident. He started chatting me up and being super smooth with compliments, saying my husband is a lucky guy. He asked me to dinner but I said I was tired lol.

But the fun part is I told my husband all this and hes being extra nice to me bwahahaha. He had been a turd to me these last few weeks. Snapping at me for no reason, coming home super late then not talking to me, giving me the third degree on buying little things for my mom, etc. We had a fight a week ago about it and he blamed it on being tired, and I told him he cant take that shit out on me. Well he finally apologized for it last night and said he should treat me better. Hes taking me out to an expensive dinner tomorrow. He wants to take me shopping (he rarely buys me anything). Hes even coming home early today. I guess hes a little scared now lol. I normally dont get hit on very much but I also dont go out a lot. I guess I should go out drinking more often or something.
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Comfy_Pillow posted...

Cleo_II posted...

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Cleo_II posted...

You nailed it though. He gets comfortable. So do I, it happens in a marriage. But these last few weeks he was just extra cranky.

My wife is very blunt so she just tells me directly, "You're fucking up."
It usually gets the message across. lol

I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm getting comfortable before it gets to that point but she still needs to remind me sometimes.

Thats awesome. Sounds like youre both in tune with each other. My husband needs a little more to get there.

Comfy_Pillow posted...

Your idea of him treating you better is spending lots of money on you? Lol wow

This is an interesting take given that our finances are all pooled and I bring in about $2k net more per month than he does. But I forget how much hatred CE has for women.

I'm just going off of your op where you mentioned him treating you better is by him offering an expensive meal and to take you shopping (which you complained he rarely does). If that is his go-to in order for you to be happy, that says something.

We dont do date nights at all. I have posted in the past that its been an issue. He doesnt put effort into doing anything or planning stuff for anniversaries/birthdays. We havent gone to dinner together in months. He was supposed to take me out for my birthday in June, but never got around to it. Ive mentioned to him in the past that I would love to try a Michelin star restaurant someday. So he brought it up and is making reservations for us.

I also posted that he left work early to spend time with me and apologized for his actions. My husband rarely apologizes for anything.

Cleo_II posted...

Thats awesome. Sounds like youre both in tune with each other. My husband needs a little more to get there.

We all get there in our own time.
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Welp, him being nicer to me lasted all of five days.

I'm on my way
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ssj3vegeta posted...

I'm on my way

Dang I always knew Vegy was a Chad
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Cleo_II posted...

Welp, him being nicer to me lasted all of five days.

Did he change after marriage?
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Cleo_II posted...

We dont do date nights at all. I have posted in the past that its been an issue. He doesnt put effort into doing anything or planning stuff for anniversaries/birthdays. We havent gone to dinner together in months. He was supposed to take me out for my birthday in June, but never got around to it. Ive mentioned to him in the past that I would love to try a Michelin star restaurant someday. So he brought it up and is making reservations for us.

I also posted that he left work early to spend time with me and apologized for his actions. My husband rarely apologizes for anything.

He's fin up

I've only been married a few months but I make sure every ~6 weeks we do something fun. I don't see me stopping any time soon since the last thing I want is complacency and to feel like I make no effort

I'm sure you have spoken to him before...was he always like this or has he changed over the years?

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Cleo_II posted...

ssj3vegeta posted...

I'm on my way

Vegy is actually your husband posting on Gamefaqs. Plot twist!!!
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Cleo_II posted...

Welp, him being nicer to me lasted all of five days.

Oh well then...
It seems like he isn't fully wrapping his head around the idea of constant effort in a marriage. I guess he was just appeasing you so you'd get over it.

Like others have asked. Was he like this when you guys were dating? Most people make all this effort when dating then stop once you get married. You can't do that though. You always need to put in that dating effort.
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ssj3vegeta posted...

I'm on my way

What, you gonna make fun of her at a low point?

Like with you laughing at me going to rehab?
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So_Hajile posted...

Cleo_II posted...

ssj3vegeta posted...

I'm on my way

Vegy is actually your husband posting on Gamefaqs. Plot twist!!!

This explains so much.
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Who the fuck tells their significant other they were flirting with someone else at a bar
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MrResetti posted...

Who the fuck tells their significant other they were flirting with someone else at a bar

Someone that thinks the nbt is just around the corner.

Cleo_II posted...

Also, only on CE is a woman disloyal for turning down a guy at the bar and telling her husband about it

The fact that you even talked to him means you entertained out, then you teased your husband about it. Not really cool if he did the same in reverse you'd be upset and rightfully so

Tony_Biggie_Pun posted...

Cleo_II posted...

Also, only on CE is a woman disloyal for turning down a guy at the bar and telling her husband about it

The fact that you even talked to him means you entertained out, then you teased your husband about it. Not really cool if he did the same in reverse you'd be upset and rightfully so

Shut the fuck up.
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Why are you so mad?

And thus the Great Cleo Wars of CE began.
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"you talked to some dude that was tryna hit on you you're such a slut!"

Lol CE
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My wife tells me when she gets hit on and I respond with something along the lines of "of course you did, you're hot. Did you get any free drinks?"
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Touch posted...

"you talked to some dude that was tryna hit on you you're such a slut!"

Lol CE

asl bby
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Gobstoppers12 posted...

You're being a tad incel right now

Gobstoppers12 posted...

I write Naruto Fanfiction.

Tony_Biggie_Pun posted...

Cleo_II posted...

Also, only on CE is a woman disloyal for turning down a guy at the bar and telling her husband about it

The fact that you even talked to him means you entertained out, then you teased your husband about it. Not really cool if he did the same in reverse you'd be upset and rightfully so

This
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Cleo_II posted...

I traveled to the main office this week and was out with coworkers at a bar the other night when one of the other sales guys on a different team noticed me. He kept hovering around me and checking me out. He was tall, hot with an athletic build and very confident. He started chatting me up and being super smooth with compliments, saying my husband is a lucky guy. He asked me to dinner but I said I was tired lol.

But the fun part is I told my husband all this and hes being extra nice to me bwahahaha. He had been a turd to me these last few weeks. Snapping at me for no reason, coming home super late then not talking to me, giving me the third degree on buying little things for my mom, etc. We had a fight a week ago about it and he blamed it on being tired, and I told him he cant take that shit out on me. Well he finally apologized for it last night and said he should treat me better. Hes taking me out to an expensive dinner tomorrow. He wants to take me shopping (he rarely buys me anything). Hes even coming home early today. I guess hes a little scared now lol. I normally dont get hit on very much but I also dont go out a lot. I guess I should go out drinking more often or something.

Moral of the story - Chads can help marriages CE

this post makes me sad :(

It honestly sounds like your marriage is over. Sounds like the flame is gone.

Im sorry.

Luckily you will have plenty of Chads in your future
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Cleo_II posted...

Comfy_Pillow posted...

Cleo_II posted...

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Cleo_II posted...

You nailed it though. He gets comfortable. So do I, it happens in a marriage. But these last few weeks he was just extra cranky.

My wife is very blunt so she just tells me directly, "You're fucking up."
It usually gets the message across. lol

I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm getting comfortable before it gets to that point but she still needs to remind me sometimes.

Thats awesome. Sounds like youre both in tune with each other. My husband needs a little more to get there.

Comfy_Pillow posted...

Your idea of him treating you better is spending lots of money on you? Lol wow

This is an interesting take given that our finances are all pooled and I bring in about $2k net more per month than he does. But I forget how much hatred CE has for women.

I'm just going off of your op where you mentioned him treating you better is by him offering an expensive meal and to take you shopping (which you complained he rarely does). If that is his go-to in order for you to be happy, that says something.

We dont do date nights at all. I have posted in the past that its been an issue. He doesnt put effort into doing anything or planning stuff for anniversaries/birthdays. We havent gone to dinner together in months. He was supposed to take me out for my birthday in June, but never got around to it. Ive mentioned to him in the past that I would love to try a Michelin star restaurant someday. So he brought it up and is making reservations for us.

I also posted that he left work early to spend time with me and apologized for his actions. My husband rarely apologizes for anything.

So you have no agency and can't plan stuff? Only he can because...... reasons
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emblem boy posted...

Did he change after marriage?

Yes. He tried way more before we got married. We would go out a lot more and he was a lot more patient. Id say his change started in the last 3-4 years.

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Oh well then...
It seems like he isn't fully wrapping his head around the idea of constant effort in a marriage. I guess he was just appeasing you so you'd get over it.

Like others have asked. Was he like this when you guys were dating? Most people make all this effort when dating then stop once you get married. You can't do that though. You always need to put in that dating effort.

Yeah he used to put in a lot more effort. But then he started working at companies he really hated and would take it out on me when he got home. He likes this latest company but now hes working really hard to prove himself so hes tired all the time.

At least he ended up realizing he was acting like he usually does last night and came up and apologized.

Touch posted...

"you talked to some dude that was tryna hit on you you're such a slut!"

Lol CE

Its kind of hilarious tbh. Just highlights their inexperience.

Cleo_II posted...

emblem boy posted...

Did he change after marriage?

Yes. He tried way more before we got married. We would go out a lot more and he was a lot more patient. Id say his change started in the last 3-4 years.

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Oh well then...
It seems like he isn't fully wrapping his head around the idea of constant effort in a marriage. I guess he was just appeasing you so you'd get over it.

Like others have asked. Was he like this when you guys were dating? Most people make all this effort when dating then stop once you get married. You can't do that though. You always need to put in that dating effort.

Yeah he used to put in a lot more effort. But then he started working at companies he really hated and would take it out on me when he got home. He likes this latest company but now hes working really hard to prove himself so hes tired all the time.

At least he ended up realizing he was acting like he usually does last night and came up and apologized.

At some point you are gonna have to ask how old do you wanna get before you realize you arent happy in your relationship.

You arent gonna get any younger, and the chads will slowly stop coming
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diagnosing someone's relationship through an internet message board and only getting one perspective probably isn't possible imo
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Cleo, what can I as a local CEman do to get hit on by Chads?
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Balrog0 posted...

diagnosing someone's relationship through an internet message board and only getting one perspective probably isn't possible imo

This we are only getting her biased.view
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assassingriskel posted...

Balrog0 posted...

diagnosing someone's relationship through an internet message board and only getting one perspective probably isn't possible imo

This we are only getting her biased.view

isnt that enough to know she is unhappy in the relationship?

IDK, seems simple to me. But then again Ive been through a lot of failed relationships. Why force something thats not there, life is too short
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Cleo_II posted...

Yeah he used to put in a lot more effort. But then he started working at companies he really hated and would take it out on me when he got home. He likes this latest company but now hes working really hard to prove himself so hes tired all the time.

Isn't really an excuse though. The responsibilities of being a husband are just as important as the ones he has at work. Yeah that might make it sound like being a husband is a job and it sorta is. You work really hard and prove yourself to your SO. That's just how it is. The more you put in the effort, the easier it becomes.
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solosnake posted...

assassingriskel posted...

Balrog0 posted...

diagnosing someone's relationship through an internet message board and only getting one perspective probably isn't possible imo

This we are only getting her biased.view

isnt that enough to know she is unhappy in the relationship?

IDK, seems simple to me. But then again Ive been through a lot of failed relationships. Why force something thats not there, life is too short

Armchair therapists/marriage counselor LOL
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assassingriskel posted...

solosnake posted...

assassingriskel posted...

Balrog0 posted...

diagnosing someone's relationship through an internet message board and only getting one perspective probably isn't possible imo

This we are only getting her biased.view

isnt that enough to know she is unhappy in the relationship?

IDK, seems simple to me. But then again Ive been through a lot of failed relationships. Why force something thats not there, life is too short

Armchair therapists/marriage counselor LOL

True, but at the same time a lot of people waste a decade or more of their lives trying to "save" a relationship that just isnt working. Thats silly imo. Theres literally millions of fish in the sea. Especially if you are a woman. The only reason I could see staying is if they have kids.
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I would trust maybe about three people on CE to give sound and experienced marriage advice.

And even then, all three of them know better than to give it unwarranted and in a public setting.
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solosnake posted...

isnt that enough to know she is unhappy in the relationship?

IDK, seems simple to me. But then again Ive been through a lot of failed relationships. Why force something thats not there, life is too short

Im not unhappy. Its normal to have ups and downs in long term relationships. We were doing pretty good for a while now until the last few weeks when he started reverting to old habits. Basically him taking his stress out on me.

BlazinBlue88 posted...

Isn't really an excuse though. The responsibilities of being a husband are just as important as the ones he has at work. Yeah that might make it sound like being a husband is a job and it sorta is. You work really hard and prove yourself to your SO. That's just how it is. The more you make a habit out of putting forth effort, the easier it becomes.

Yup I tell him its not a good excuse. I told him that the day before I flew out, when we had our discussion about it. He cant use me as a punching bag. But Im patient with him. Im not perfect either and I have a lot of medical issues he puts up with.

Cleo_II posted...

Yup I tell him its not a good excuse. I told him that the day before I flew out, when we had our discussion about it. He cant use me as a punching bag. But Im patient with him. Im not perfect either and I have a lot of medical issues he puts up with.

That's good. Glad you two seem to have great communication between each other.
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Damn CE is bringing out the insecurities hard itt. TC did nothing wrong, and honestly sometimes its good to remind a partner they need to put effort into a relationship, especially when that relationship is a marriage.
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My ex used to take out stress on me all the time. Maybe look into counseling if he isn't changing his behavior
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Cleo_II posted...

Its kind of hilarious tbh. Just highlights their inexperience.

Or, you know, you could be wrong.

I mean, you could be.

But of course theres always that classic and irrefutable argument, teehee, Im a girl on CE THUS I can never be wrong about relationships. Never. Not in a million years.

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Shablagoo posted...

Cleo_II posted...

Its kind of hilarious tbh. Just highlights their inexperience.

Or, you know, you could be wrong.

I mean, you could be.

But of course theres always that classic and irrefutable argument, teehee, Im a girl on CE THUS I can never be wrong about relationships. Never. Not in a million years.

Lol, stop dat
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Shablagoo posted...

Cleo_II posted...

Its kind of hilarious tbh. Just highlights their inexperience.

Or, you know, you could be wrong.

I mean, you could be.

But of course theres always that classic and irrefutable argument, teehee, Im a girl on CE THUS I can never be wrong about relationships. Never. Not in a million years.

Thank goodness we have someone to explain her years-long relationship to her.
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Believe it or not, you can have a healthy relationship even if you tell each other who you think is hot and tell your significant other when you get hit on.

My wife and I are very open about pretty much everything. We both talk about other people who are hot or very attractive (male and female, doesn't matter)

We both are allowed to flirt with whoever we want, as long as it doesn't go beyond flirting or get physical.
We both have a laugh when we tell each other about times were were hit on.

There is nothing wrong with Cleo telling her husband what happened at a bar.
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Thank goodness I have someone to prove my point without even realizing.

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Dustin1280 posted...

Believe it or not, you can have a healthy relationship even if you tell each other who you think is hot and tell your significant other when you get hit on.

My wife and I are very open about pretty much everything. We both talk about other people who are hot or very attractive (male and female, doesn't matter)

We both are allowed to flirt with whoever we want, as long as it doesn't go beyond flirting or get physical.
We both have a laugh when we tell each other about times were were hit on.

There is nothing wrong with Cleo telling her husband what happened at a bar.

I agree. What is wrong is leveraging it to make her husband feel guilty, IMHO.

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I'd say the same thing about a dude, but I know you're desperate for a victory. I won't push.
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

Lol, stop dat

lmao

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Shablagoo posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Believe it or not, you can have a healthy relationship even if you tell each other who you think is hot and tell your significant other when you get hit on.

My wife and I are very open about pretty much everything. We both talk about other people who are hot or very attractive (male and female, doesn't matter)

We both are allowed to flirt with whoever we want, as long as it doesn't go beyond flirting or get physical.
We both have a laugh when we tell each other about times were were hit on.

There is nothing wrong with Cleo telling her husband what happened at a bar.

I agree. What is wrong is leveraging it to make her husband feel guilty, IMHO.

You clearly don't understand open communication in a relationship and are instantly jumping to a negative connotation when that was not the intention at all.

I'm going to agree with others in this topic who say you sound very inexperienced with serious communicative relationships.
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