Current Events > Video game logic

(+) Yeah! (+)

*taking cover to avoid getting shot*
*jeep pulls up to rescue you*
*runs over to it without getting shot*
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*gets shot 25 times*
*survives*
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*defeats boss easily*
*following cutscene shows defeat*
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Get stabbed
Drink potion to heal
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DevsBro posted...

*defeats boss easily*
*following cutscene shows defeat*

lol, I hate this. It happens in wrestling games.
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A few pieces of paper, and a handful of scrap steel is all you need to make a pre-war bed in Fallout.
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Jumping and then jumping a second time while in midair
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"You're the world's only hope! You must defeat that monster!"

"Um, no, you're going to have to pay for that sword. I am running a business."
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Eating food, specifically a giant roast meat on a bone, will recover your all your missing life bar.
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shnangyboos posted...

"You're the world's only hope! You must defeat that monster!"

"Um, no, you're going to have to pay for that sword. I am running a business."

Im DDS2 there's a merchant you meet in the afterlife who still wants to do business, it's really funny
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Holding a billion things in your pocket.
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Elite soldier: can run for 15 seconds
Plumber: can run indefinitely
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DevsBro posted...

*taking cover to avoid getting shot*
*jeep pulls up to rescue you*
*runs over to it without getting shot*

that's movie logic too though
probably books but I wouldn't know because I ain't have got no fancy book learnin
a lot of these are also applicable to movies too
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In one game: *breaks old castle walls to find entire roast chickens to recover health*
In the sequel: *prays at a church*
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.50 caliber machine gun: 10 shot kill
.50 caliber sniper rifle : 1 shot kill

Accidently pick up object.

Now permanently labeled a thief and chased down by guards.
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"not balanced for lean"
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"It went off the end of the screen, it doesn't exist anymore"
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RE 5 had some weird logic...
- Can't pick up that egg. Pockets full of rifles.
- Giant zombie roach can't bite your head off if your back is turned.
- My magnum has infinite ammo as long as I'm shooting you in the back of the head.
- My bow has infinite arrows period.
- Gigantic gatling gun backpack disappears when not in use.
- Can't just put down an item for a second to pick up then use a consumable item; have to throw something away forever.
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sauceje posted...

In one game: *breaks old castle walls to find entire roast chickens to recover health*
In the sequel: *prays at a church*

Lol, these are always good.

When game mechanics become intertwined with canon it becomes even more fucky. Like in Halo 3 you're a Spartan-II supersoldier which is why you can flip vehicles, rip off heavy machine gun turrets, jump like 8 feet into the air, and destroy moving tanks by jumping on them and repeatedly punching them. Then in Halo 3: ODST you're a regular human, but you can still do all of these things. You just move slower and can't punch as hard. You even have a "stamina" system that functions identically to energy shields so you end up being almost as tanky.

Pay 1,000 gold and be completely absolved of cold-blooded murder. Though I guess your victim's friends and loved ones will sometimes shoot you dirty looks.

DevsBro posted...

Elite soldier: can run for 15 seconds
Plumber: can run indefinitely

Okay, this one got me.
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In GTA 4 a molotov cocktail costs $500.
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masterpug53 posted...

Pay 1,000 gold and be completely absolved of cold-blooded murder.

You can get away with murder for less than the cost of a mid-grade sword.

masterpug53 posted...

Pay 1,000 gold and be completely absolved of cold-blooded murder.

There was even a loading screen in Skyrim about, I believe, Dark Brotherhood assassins lore, and it outright acknowledged that they could just pay the fine if caught.

Like, what? Any decently rich person is outright above the law forever then.
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Doe posted...

masterpug53 posted...

Pay 1,000 gold and be completely absolved of cold-blooded murder.

There was even a loading screen in Skyrim about, I believe, Dark Brotherhood assassins lore, and it outright acknowledged that they could just pay the fine if caught.

Like, what? Any decently rich person is outright above the law forever then.

Games imitating real life.
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*getting beaten up*
*rescues plate of freshly cooked food out of a garbage can*
*fully recovered*

Skye Reynolds posted...

*getting beaten up*
*rescues plate of freshly cooked food out of a garbage can*
*fully recovered*

*steps on food*
*it disappears and your injuries are gone*
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DevsBro posted...

Skye Reynolds posted...

*getting beaten up*
*rescues plate of freshly cooked food out of a garbage can*
*fully recovered*

*steps on food*
*it disappears and your injuries are gone*

A real man makes like a tree and absorbs nutrients through his toesies.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfFQTt_nkJM" data-time="
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Enemies clipping through solid objects, they're close enough to hit you but you can't hit them back since the object they clipped behind has a hit box or collision data that prevents you from hitting them.
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Darkrobotisback posted...

Enemies clipping through solid objects, they're close enough to hit you but you can't hit them back since the object they clipped behind has a hit box or collision data that prevents you from hitting them.

Something like this happened to me in MoHU, and it blew my mind.

I threw a petrol bomb at an enemy that was coming around a corner, but I missed and it was going to hit the wall. The enemy reaches through the wall and catches it, then throws it back into the wall causing it to explode and kill him anyway.
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*1 foot catepillar gets crushed by a 1,600 pound steel snake.*
*Only faints*

And also this

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RedWhiteBlue posted...

*Brushes against zombie hands*
*3 hearts lost*

Honestly, no matter how good a game is, I will always consider it flawed if you take damage simply by touching an enemy. I know that in the early days it was sometimes the only way for certain enemies to deal damage, I know that at this point it's a deeply embedded trope...I don't care. Unless the enemy is covered in spikes or visibly secretes something harmful like fire or poison, this has always and will always piss me off.

The pinnacle of this ridiculousness was in the original Mega Man, where you had to fight a Mega Man clone; should be equally matched in every conceivable way, and yet the son of a bitch gets away with killing you simply by walking medium speed into you.

This is one of the reasons I was so smitten with Secret of Mana as a kid: it was the first action-fantasy game I played that actually bucked this trend. The Super Mario series also gets credit for at least making the tops of non-spiky enemies advantageous to jump on, and builds the game around this.
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Heros: Can climb colossi and destroy them
Heros: Waist-high ledges hinders your progress.
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Get shot
Blood all over eyes
Wait 5 seconds
Blood gone and youre fine
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Character that is godlike in cutscenes is significantly nerfed during actual gameplay.
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RchHomieQuanChi posted...

Character that is godlike in cutscenes is significantly nerfed during actual gameplay.

Character that is godlike in gameplay is significantly nerfed during cutscenes
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Character: I AM FURIOUS AT YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID AND I MUST MURDER YOU IMMEDIATELY!

Same character: Also, I will stand here watching you stab me before I take my turn. Would hate to be impolite.
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Panthera posted...

Character: I AM FURIOUS AT YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID AND I MUST MURDER YOU IMMEDIATELY!

Same character: Also, I will stand here watching you stab me before I take my turn. Would hate to be impolite.

"Prepare for your soul to be annihilated. The murder weapon? This children's card game of course"
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"The world is ending and the big bad boss is about to destroy us all! Hurry, chosen one!"

*bullshits for 100 hours doing side quests*

"Alright, now let's do this"

*boss has made zero headway with his plans in that time*

Enemy: *has huge stats, like 900 HP and 500 MP when your party characters tend to have 300 HP and about 80 MP*
Also enemy: *suddenly has 200 HP and 50 MP when joining your party*
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*Become archmage of mage guild in oblivion*
*Become grey Fox of thieves guild*
*Walk to you quarters to take staff out*
*Slip note in saying you robbed yourself*
*Somehow guards get a letter from archmage that someone stole their staff*
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Has the best sniper rifle, or assault rifle possible, but only uses a pistol in cutscenes.
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*has 50 rounds of bullets, 1 inventory slot*
*gets 50 more rounds, 1 inventory slot*
*finds 1 round off dead guard, 2 inventory slots*
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to add to that
>kills enemy before he fires a round
>get 1 bullet
>another enemy empties countless clips
>get 14 bullets
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Panthera posted...

Character: I AM FURIOUS AT YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID AND I MUST MURDER YOU IMMEDIATELY!

Same character: Also, I will stand here watching you stab me before I take my turn. Would hate to be impolite.

AKA Dragon Ball logic.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Your power level is rising rapidly and you appear to be undergoing the transformation to the legendary warrior of the Saiyan race. I'll just let you finish up so you can kick my ass at full power."

...And speaking of Dragon Ball, I have a question. *Namek spoilers*

Why could Frieza make Krillin go blooey but not anyone else?
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fuzzylittlbunny posted...

Why could Frieza make Krillin go blooey but not anyone else?

I always assumed it's because he's by far the weakest
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Find air bubbles underwater to avoid drowning
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