Current Events > i lied to my gf about being a virgin

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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:21:39 AM
#1:


I was embarrassed about being a virgin in my 20s so I lied about it. I then made up more lies to cover up the initial lie. Then we had consistent sex about a month.

About 2 weeks ago i told her the truth and she did not react how i thought she would. in fact, she broke up with me. tried to explain why i lied but she didnt care.

feels bad man. i get why she broke up with me but it still sucks

AMA
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Harpie
07/03/18 1:22:37 AM
#2:


You probably would still be with her if you were honest

Do you regret lying?
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:25:12 AM
#3:


Harpie posted...
Do you regret lying?

i do regret lying. although i doubt we would have gotten together if i told her the truth
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SmidgeIsntBack
07/03/18 1:26:42 AM
#4:


What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.
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Mr_Rian
07/03/18 1:26:48 AM
#5:


Eternalistic posted...
i do regret lying. although i doubt we would have gotten together if i told her the truth

If she was in her 20s as well, then you're right. She wouldn't have hooked up with you.
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Slip-N-Slide
07/03/18 1:29:32 AM
#6:


SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

This. Also how did it even come up? Did she ask you? If so why would she ask someone in their 20's if she didn't expect it already?
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Ultima Dragon
07/03/18 1:29:46 AM
#7:


Let sleeping dogs lie man. It would be better to be the worst possible lay in the world than to be a virgin.
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thronedfire2
07/03/18 1:31:38 AM
#8:


well at least now you don't have to lie to your next gf
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:31:42 AM
#9:


SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

Yea, I pretended to be someone that I wasn't. I made up a past relationship just so she'd think I had experience. it was rather manipulative of me.
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#10
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WafflehouseJK
07/03/18 1:33:34 AM
#11:


byron posted...
You should have not fucking lied in the first place

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SmidgeIsntBack
07/03/18 1:34:05 AM
#12:


Eternalistic posted...
SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

Yea, I pretended to be someone that I wasn't. I made up a past relationship just so she'd think I had experience. it was rather manipulative of me.


That'll do it.
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Slip-N-Slide
07/03/18 1:34:08 AM
#13:


Eternalistic posted...
SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

Yea, I pretended to be someone that I wasn't. I made up a past relationship just so she'd think I had experience. it was rather manipulative of me.

So you unprovoked just pretended go be another person for no reason to try to fuck this chick?
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:35:24 AM
#14:


Slip-N-Slide posted...
SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

This. Also how did it even come up? Did she ask you? If so why would she ask someone in their 20's if she didn't expect it already?

she was incredibly interested in my "number of partners". This was in the talking stage so I made it up so she'd like me.

Ultima Dragon posted...
Let sleeping dogs lie man. It would be better to be the worst possible lay in the world than to be a virgin.

ironically she thought i was pretty good.

thronedfire2 posted...
well at least now you don't have to lie to your next gf

haha theres the brightside
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#15
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SmidgeIsntBack
07/03/18 1:37:12 AM
#16:


Hopefully you learn from this and accept that it was for the best that she dumped you. Lying is a slippery slope that hurts you too, and you would have likely kept lying about other things if she forgave you because you'd know you could get away with it.
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:37:32 AM
#17:


Slip-N-Slide posted...
Eternalistic posted...
SmidgeIsntBack posted...
What were the other lies to cover it up? Those might have done it more than the initial lie.

Yea, I pretended to be someone that I wasn't. I made up a past relationship just so she'd think I had experience. it was rather manipulative of me.

So you unprovoked just pretended go be another person for no reason to try to fuck this chick?

if i just wanted to fuck her i would have done that and not bother with a relationship

byron posted...
You should have came clean after the first sex.

yea probably
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iHuman
07/03/18 1:38:15 AM
#18:


Why come clean? Was she complaining? If she didn't notice this shouldn't have been eating you up inside.
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WafflehouseJK
07/03/18 1:39:19 AM
#19:


byron posted...
WafflehouseJK posted...
byron posted...
You should have not fucking lied in the first place

Obviously this but the next best thing is to come clean after doing what initially made him lie.

Fair enough.
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:41:25 AM
#20:


SmidgeIsntBack posted...
Hopefully you learn from this and accept that it was for the best that she dumped you. Lying is a slippery slope that hurts you too, and you would have likely kept lying about other things if she forgave you because you'd know you could get away with it.

yea i see that now. its just a shitty feeling knowing i betrayed her and she'll likely never believe a single thing i say ever again.

iHuman posted...
Why come clean? Was she complaining? If she didn't notice this shouldn't have been eating you up inside.

random jolt of morality made me not want to lie to her anymore. i must really like her
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Axiom
07/03/18 1:41:55 AM
#21:


So this is less I lied about being a virgin and more "I made up a life story con artist style"
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NES4EVER
07/03/18 1:42:38 AM
#22:


Doesn't matter

Got the pooty

At least you don't need to lie to the next one!
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 1:46:07 AM
#23:


Axiom posted...
So this is less I lied about being a virgin and more "I made up a life story con artist style"

i mean, yea. it sounds pretty bad now that you say it.
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Manocheese
07/03/18 1:46:33 AM
#24:


Fake it 'til you make it. Now that you've made it, you don't need to lie to the next girl.
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joe40001
07/03/18 1:46:55 AM
#25:


Mr_Rian posted...
Eternalistic posted...
i do regret lying. although i doubt we would have gotten together if i told her the truth

If she was in her 20s as well, then you're right. She wouldn't have hooked up with you.


Wait why?
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SpinKirby
07/03/18 1:47:09 AM
#26:


Eternalistic posted...
I then made up more lies to cover up the initial lie.


R O O K I E M I S T A K E
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WafflehouseJK
07/03/18 2:09:52 AM
#27:


joe40001 posted...
Mr_Rian posted...
Eternalistic posted...
i do regret lying. although i doubt we would have gotten together if i told her the truth

If she was in her 20s as well, then you're right. She wouldn't have hooked up with you.


Wait why?

He's talking out of his ass.
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glitteringfairy
07/03/18 2:13:11 AM
#28:


Should have just kept the lie going
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Teddytalks
07/03/18 2:19:05 AM
#29:


glitteringfairy posted...
Should have just kept the lie going
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Teddytalks
07/03/18 2:19:25 AM
#30:


WafflehouseJK posted...
joe40001 posted...
Mr_Rian posted...
Eternalistic posted...
i do regret lying. although i doubt we would have gotten together if i told her the truth

If she was in her 20s as well, then you're right. She wouldn't have hooked up with you.


Wait why?

He's talking out of his ass.


Maybe not.
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#31
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im not 13
07/03/18 2:22:56 AM
#32:


Teddytalks posted...
glitteringfairy posted...
Should have just kept the lie going

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Teddytalks
07/03/18 2:23:55 AM
#33:


mobilebloechel posted...
Everyone seems to be missing the point that if she actually liked you, she should be happy.


You don't build a relationship around lies. She did the right thing. It just the lie was so benign that it wasn't a big deal.
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Aloner
07/03/18 2:31:52 AM
#34:


You don't reveal the truth after you've already taken advantage of someone. It's just going to hurt them.

Anyway she shouldn't have asked in the first place. It's like a guy asking a girl how many dudes she's slept with. It's none of their business.
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Slip-N-Slide
07/03/18 3:28:20 AM
#35:


mobilebloechel posted...
Everyone seems to be missing the point that if she actually liked you, she should be happy.

What kind of backwards ass logic is this? No, the argument is that if she actually liked him it wouldn't have mattered to her if he hadn't, but NOT that it wouldn't matter if he made up a bunch of lies about this non issue first. You don't get to lie to someone at the start of a relationship and them just accept that. If a girl lied to me about some non issue like that at the beginning of a relationship I'd take it as a huge red flag from them as well as not trust them anymore on top of that.
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Delta_F14
07/03/18 3:39:24 AM
#36:


Should have just kept lying tbh.
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bulletproofvita
07/03/18 5:08:16 AM
#38:


Delta_F14 posted...
Should have just kept lying tbh.

Well this. If the relationship is good just should've said nothing.
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Jazznium_Z
07/03/18 5:10:08 AM
#39:


jokes on you, i'll always be a virgin!
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Ilishe
07/03/18 5:13:02 AM
#40:


Why was this such a big deal lol
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YOUHAVENOHOPE
07/03/18 5:13:30 AM
#41:


Well, TC
I hope that's a lesson learned

You have to see it from the girl's perspective here

You actually lied to get into her pants
How does that sound? How do you think that makes her feel?
Even if it's predicated upon something as shallow as virginity
You lied

That's a bad foundation to any relationship
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Eternalistic
07/03/18 8:23:06 AM
#42:


yeah, definitely a lesson learned. and it sucks.
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SaccharineSmile
07/03/18 8:30:03 AM
#43:


you should have kept the lie up even if you wanted to further the relationship all the way up to marriage

Honesty, dont believe the hype!!!
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YOUHAVENOHOPE
07/03/18 8:31:54 AM
#44:


Eternalistic posted...
yeah, definitely a lesson learned. and it sucks.

It does
but you learned, which is good
now you're a good person for it
just don't make the same mistakes and

don't be so down on yourself bro, being a virgin into your 20s really isn't that bad.
and now you're not a virgin so you can honestly say that to girls at least (although i would not mention that you lied to get laid)

but yes, what you did was bad but the fact that you feel bad about it is a good thing.
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Cobra1010
07/03/18 8:39:39 AM
#45:


Wait so you had to lie that your not a virgin for her to be happy and have sex with you?

And when she found out you never had sex with another woman before her, she broke up with you?

Thats some twisted person there. Just let her go and find a better girlfriend.
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Skye Reynolds
07/03/18 8:46:40 AM
#46:


You probably made the right choice. First relationships seldom last and there's at least a 50/50 chance she would've broken up with you for being a virgin.

Now, you have experience and you can be truthful with your next girlfriend.
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Sad_Face
07/03/18 8:49:38 AM
#47:


Manocheese posted...
Fake it 'til you make it. Now that you've made it, you don't need to lie to the next girl.


This. On the flipside, you'll be more confident with the next girl having had a relationship.
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YOUHAVENOHOPE
07/03/18 8:51:58 AM
#48:


Cobra1010 posted...
Wait so you had to lie that your not a virgin for her to be happy and have sex with you?

And when she found out you never had sex with another woman before her, she broke up with you?

Thats some twisted person there. Just let her go and find a better girlfriend.

you're looking at it wrong

he lied to her to have sex with her
beyond the whole virginity thing, that's enough for a lot of girls to quit
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AcFan87
07/03/18 8:55:41 AM
#49:


Didn't react how you thought she would? You expected her to be okay with you lying? You planted the seed of doubt in her and sabotaged the relationship.
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SaccharineSmile
07/03/18 8:57:38 AM
#50:


Theres nothing wrong with lying by the way, if it keeps everyone happy, keep lying
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awesome999
07/03/18 8:59:00 AM
#51:


As long as you learned your lesson about not lying, your fine

That ship has sailed though, get over it
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