Current Events > Poopin' thread: dead turds rise again

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MrMallard
06/21/18 11:56:16 AM
#1:


It's been ages since I made a poopin' thread! You'll shitpost on a political topic, but you won't literally post about your shit? That's what this topic is here to correct!

Check in when you're poopin', if the mood so strikes you. What, you're gonna read some crappy Buzzfeed articles or post in a Discord you rarely visit any more while you're on the john? Log your log in this thread - after all, better out than in!
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xBloodBrotherx
06/21/18 11:56:38 AM
#2:


Now this is shitposting
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The above post is literally and objectively right.
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BlazinBlue88
06/21/18 11:58:20 AM
#3:


Raise your hand if you one of those phenomenal "No Wipe Needed" type dudes!

*raises hand*
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MrMallard
06/21/18 11:58:57 AM
#4:


xBloodBrotherx posted...
Now this is shitposting

this guy gets it

BlazinBlue88 posted...
Raise your hand if you one of those phenomenal "No Wipe Needed" type dudes!

*raises hand*

Damn I wish this was me
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
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Chad-Henne
06/21/18 11:58:57 AM
#5:


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glitteringfairy
06/21/18 12:01:05 PM
#6:


So this morning My gf was brushing her teeth and I go sit on the toliet and let out this no exaggeration 10 second long shart. She stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door.
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BlazinBlue88
06/21/18 1:29:38 PM
#7:


Hey guys. What's everyone's favorite method of wiping? Personally, I stand up and bend over towards the toilet. This accomplishes two things.
1. The bending allows enough space between my cheeks to wipe without smearing.
2. Allows me to face the shame of defecation that I've created in the bowl.
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SpinKirby
06/21/18 1:31:06 PM
#8:


So this isn't a fetish topic?

I have a myriad of knowledge to share.
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SSJCAT
06/21/18 1:31:19 PM
#9:


Pooping in a gas station right now. Barely made it in time!
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Dyinglegacy
06/21/18 1:31:42 PM
#10:


BlazinBlue88 posted...
Raise your hand if you one of those phenomenal "No Wipe Needed" type dudes!

*raises hand*


Too much hair on my ass for that. Dingleberries galore.
---
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SSJ2GrimReaper
06/21/18 1:31:43 PM
#11:


glitteringfairy posted...
So this morning My gf was brushing her teeth and I go sit on the toliet and let out this no exaggeration 10 second long deed. She stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door.

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Dyinglegacy
06/21/18 1:32:25 PM
#12:


SSJCAT posted...
Pooping in a gas station right now. Barely made it in time!

I always read your name without the J.
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SSJCAT
06/21/18 1:39:29 PM
#13:


Dyinglegacy posted...
SSJCAT posted...
Pooping in a gas station right now. Barely made it in time!

I always read your name without the J.

Well glad ya recognize me anyway lol >_>. Mission accomplished btw yall.
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SSJ2GrimReaper
06/21/18 1:44:17 PM
#14:


Every poopin' thread needs this gif

AngrySevereAlpaca-size_restricted
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SSJCAT
06/21/18 1:46:13 PM
#15:


Word of advice to yall. Dont eat Mexican food while out doing stuff unless you arent afraid of public toilets LOL. I used to be weird about them but now I dont give a hoot
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MrMallard
06/22/18 3:31:00 AM
#16:


SpinKirby posted...
So this isn't a fetish topic?

I have a myriad of knowledge to share.

God no, shit is a gross fetish. This is just a goofy topic about poopin'.

SSJCAT posted...
Pooping in a gas station right now. Barely made it in time!

Those are always a bit gross, but you get that fight or flight instinct when it happens. It's like a scene from a Bourne movie.

BlazinBlue88 posted...
Hey guys. What's everyone's favorite method of wiping? Personally, I stand up and bend over towards the toilet. This accomplishes two things.
1. The bending allows enough space between my cheeks to wipe without smearing.
2. Allows me to face the shame of defecation that I've created in the bowl.

Me and my friends have had this conversation before, we had an argument about the best way to wipe. The friend group was split down the middle, which is funny considering the subject matter.

I sit and wipe, personally. It's cool to do some courtesy wipes standing up, but to stand up when your inner butt cheeks are covered in poop? No thanks.
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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MrMallard
06/22/18 3:33:40 AM
#17:


SSJ2GrimReaper posted...
Every poopin' thread needs this gif

AngrySevereAlpaca-size_restricted

Good shit. Literally.

Anyway - currently doing a post-Fortnite poop, came in sixth. Had to basically throw everything down once the match was over. I thought this would be an apocalyptic poopin' session, but it's been pretty tame.
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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dib153
06/22/18 3:36:07 AM
#18:


I let loose a glorious stink stream a couple hours ago. One of those that lets you know the time is nigh by way of sharp abdominal pangs. I clench and tip toe to the loo and when I finally let go it was a shotgun blast if little turdlettes and then just a steady stream of booty juice for an uncomfortable amount of time
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"Dib is my new hero. Epic insult man, epic to the max" ~ Drakona
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MrMallard
06/23/18 1:07:51 PM
#19:


Good night for meeting, how are you folks goin'?
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
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SpinKirby
06/23/18 1:08:44 PM
#20:


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MrMallard
06/24/18 6:51:57 AM
#21:


g'day
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
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Johnny_Nutcase
06/24/18 6:57:24 AM
#22:


This is a godamn good topic you got going on here if I do say so myself.

Unfortunately, I haven't taken a notable crap in weeks. Gas is always an issue though.

Also where do you request stickies?
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I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another... until you just wish Flanders was dead. - Homer Simpson
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8-bit_Biceps
06/24/18 7:09:37 AM
#23:


The turds will rise again /Alex Jones
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MrMallard
06/24/18 7:10:26 AM
#24:


Johnny_Nutcase posted...
This is a godamn good topic you got going on here if I do say so myself.

Unfortunately, I haven't taken a notable crap in weeks. Gas is always an issue though.

Also where do you request stickies?

That's a shame, sorry about the lack of action.

Sticky requests are on the OP, I wouldn't expect anything to happen thanks to the sticky button. It's all just a fun, dumb thing
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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MrMallard
06/24/18 10:48:36 PM
#25:


Also sorry for getting snippy in the lan thread. It was a dick move, but gamer99z is a cool guy and I was reacting on instinct. I appreciate the kind words in this thread.

@Johnny_Nutcase

The only poop today is how I feel, I'm hungover like a bitch.
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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dib153
06/26/18 4:26:47 PM
#26:


Just passed a glorious log a few minutes ago. Turned around to inspect my handiwork and it was a bright, I mean BRIGHT, green
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"Dib is my new hero. Epic insult man, epic to the max" ~ Drakona
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MrResetti
06/26/18 4:30:14 PM
#27:


I just had to get the extra hot wings
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SSJ2GrimReaper
06/26/18 4:39:47 PM
#28:


dib153 posted...
Just passed a glorious log a few minutes ago. Turned around to inspect my handiwork and it was a bright, I mean BRIGHT, green

damn bro you got that baby dook
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dib153
06/26/18 4:43:29 PM
#29:


SSJ2GrimReaper posted...
dib153 posted...
Just passed a glorious log a few minutes ago. Turned around to inspect my handiwork and it was a bright, I mean BRIGHT, green

damn bro you got that baby dook


But it was solid tho
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"Dib is my new hero. Epic insult man, epic to the max" ~ Drakona
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SSJ2GrimReaper
06/26/18 4:46:55 PM
#30:


wtf have you been eating
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MrMallard
06/28/18 12:45:23 AM
#31:


I just had half an energy drink, and the results were apocalyptic. This is a poopin' sesh for the history books.
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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SSJ2GrimReaper
06/28/18 8:19:25 AM
#32:


rate your poop sessions

1 being volcanic liquid dook blasts

10 being solid clean and quick dook nuggets
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MrMallard
06/30/18 4:11:46 AM
#33:


This shit's gonna be like Krakatoa tomorrow
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So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
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ShinobiNinjaX
06/30/18 4:26:33 PM
#34:


Stinks in here
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kingdrake2
06/30/18 4:34:59 PM
#35:


ShinobiNinjaX posted...
Stinks in here


somebody put something in the food. already went shit 3 times today. with a 4th on the way.
guess it might be funny for some but i'm suffering we want the mercy.
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MrMallard
07/01/18 3:55:03 AM
#36:


Poopin' before I go to dinner with my friends. 6/10 poop, not like a turd volcano but not exactly a one-and-done type situation.

This is why I usually hold on until I get poop cramps, it's usually not so disappointing, but it feels nice to keep the bodily housekeeping up to date.
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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ShinobiNinjaX
07/01/18 8:14:09 PM
#37:


MrMallard posted...
Poopin' before I go to dinner with my friends.

I hope you showered right after and didn't meet your friends with a poopy butt
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MrMallard
07/01/18 9:53:50 PM
#38:


ShinobiNinjaX posted...
MrMallard posted...
Poopin' before I go to dinner with my friends.

I hope you showered right after and didn't meet your friends with a poopy butt

The preferred order is poop then shower, but I already had a shower earlier in the day and we're on limited hot water rn due to winter.

If you do a half-decent job at wiping your ass, it's essentially a non-issue. Just wash your hands afterwards like a decent human being. I'm not gonna shit then waddle down to my friend's place with my butt cheeks stuck together with turd
---
So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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CommonJoe
07/01/18 9:55:41 PM
#39:


This topic is amazing.
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ShinobiNinjaX
07/01/18 9:57:54 PM
#40:


MrMallard posted...
I'm not gonna shit then waddle down to my friend's place with my butt cheeks stuck together with turd


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DarthDemented
07/01/18 11:38:02 PM
#41:


I'm pooping now. Been threatened a few times already tonight with disappointing results. Took actually eating for Mt saint my ass to finally erupt
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boobies...
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MrMallard
07/02/18 10:43:04 AM
#42:


This is a 4. It made me get out of bed and it's cold, and it's just a gross, uncomfortable shit.

The worst part is that I was working on a Poopin' Playlist beforehand (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtQv7mfBMQkG5ohp5KfaYIeSubndxG_jv) and I've hit a brick wall. I went for songs that capture the urgency of a bad shit, but also went for songs with the best titles. This is all I've got, feel free to suggest more
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So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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ZigZagCloud
07/02/18 10:50:12 AM
#43:


This thread is gross.
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MrMallard
07/02/18 11:24:38 AM
#44:


ZigZagCloud posted...
This thread is gross.

You're not wrong, and I think I might have driven this thread's gimmick into the ground.

But is it as bad as CE's constant race-baiting, political shit-stirring and general nastiness? Because even if the subject matter is gross, folks get along in this thread. Because we share the universal experience of poopin'.
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So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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CommonJoe
07/03/18 9:10:35 PM
#45:


You guys its happening. Ive had that big bubble type fart that almost makes you feel like youre being lifted up but then deflates disappointingly.

Also I feel something in my anus.
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ProtoManSPx
07/05/18 7:53:06 PM
#46:


Just sat down on the toilet guys
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MrMallard
07/06/18 6:36:37 AM
#47:


ProtoManSPx posted...
Just sat down on the toilet guys

10 hours ago

F
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So put on those clothes you never grew into, and smile like you mean it for once.
Now Playing: Bayonetta 2, Agatha Knife, Runescape
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ProtoManSPx
07/06/18 1:52:28 PM
#48:


Lol
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