Current Events > Solo is a crime against humanity

(+) Yeah! (+)

I can't believe I just fucking sat through that
---

There were 3 other people in the theater
---

Who were they?
---

I always go solo.
---

Two middle aged white dudes and an older white dude

The only ones in there aside from me and my two friends.

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then designates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.
---

butthole666 posted...

Two middle aged white dudes and an older white dude

The only ones in there aside from me and my two friends.

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then dsignates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

That can't be real

It is real i heard it from more than one source in reviews.

butthole666 posted...

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then dsignates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

God fucking dammit.
---

AverageBatarian posted...

butthole666 posted...

Two middle aged white dudes and an older white dude

The only ones in there aside from me and my two friends.

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then dsignates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

That can't be real

That's what I was thinking while watching it. Throughout tbe whole setup I kept hoping they'd back out and that it wasn't going to be what I thought it was.

It's real.
---

Why would you even go?
---

If I wasn't there with friends I would have just bailed then tbh
---

You friends with the two middle ages white dudes or the older white dude?
---

butthole666 posted...

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then dsignates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

lmao
---

Also Lando fucks robots. He is in love with his female droid L3, and they make it a point to explicitly state that "it [sex] can work" between them, however in the OT his droid is a "male"; this means Lando not only fucks droids, but is bisexual as well.
---

this is incredibly unsurprising
---

There's also a wisecracking off-brand-Danny-DeVito monkey
---

why did you give this steaming trash your hard earned $8
---

butthole666 posted...

Also Lando fucks robots. He is in love with his female droid L3, and they make it a point to explicitly state that "it [sex] can work" between them, however in the OT his droid is a "male"; this means Lando not only fucks droids, but is bisexual as well.

Can we just never have another Star Wars movie again? Please and thank you.
---

Thunder_Armor posted...

Can we just never have another Star Wars movie again? Please and thank you.

I can't wait to see how they somehow manage to fuck up BOBA FETT tho
---

w o w
---

Chewbacca is introduced in a Rancor call back scene wherein Han pacifies him by gargling at him and then pausing to say "YEAH, I SPEAK A LITTLE!"; they then plot their escape from the pit. Throughout the film there were at least a couple "HEY GUYS REMEMBER WOOKIES RIP OFF ARMS" references as well.
---

butthole666 posted...

Two middle aged white dudes and an older white dude

The only ones in there aside from me and my two friends.

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then designates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

Im laughing so fucking hard at this, holy shit
---

Oh yeah let's not forget Darth Maul is the head of a crime syndicate because why the fuck not and we're left with a semi-cliffhanger with regards to that
---

Like honestly it's so bad it's something of a spectacle
---

I also saw the movie tonight. The scene near the end with Darth Maul threw me for a loop. Horrible misstep making a reveal like that in the last 15 minutes of the movie. I can't believe that made the final cut.

Also worth mentioning, the infamous Kessel run. I simply can't believe that the "parsec" thing was retconned so that "parsec" is an actual legitimate measurement of time in the world of SW, and then actually used as a major plot detail in this film.
---

Who flew the Kessel run?
---

A bad Star Wars movie in this day and age?

Well color me shocked!
---

The Falcon is shaped like that because Han shot the escape pod into an HP Lovecraft monster's mouth to push it into a black hole
---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjEd3DpH_e0" data-time="

how much of this is accurate
---

So this is the final nail in Star Wars coffin.
---

I mean honestly Woody fucking Harrelson being in a movie that isn't No Country For Old Men should have set off enough alarms
---

it was good but some man child was freaking out when he realized that everyones favorite Zabrak used force grab on the way down the shaft in episode I and had cybernetic legs attached and later became the leader of the the Crimson Dawn Syndicate.

I dont understand why marvel was handled pretty well by disney, yet star wars just get the shitty end of the stick pushed into its butt.

Tjey took risk with marvel greenlighting obscure heroes like ant man and black phanter, but with star wars, they play it jist too safe, a reharsh of ep 4, spinoff that still revolve around the same events and era around the original movies, etc.

Star wars has enough source material to last until the end of 21st centuries and endless wave of fans that will throw money into anything star wars.

A wise man once said "you can slap a star wars logo on a cabbage and it would sell"
---

I read the plot on Wikipedia because I'm never watching it anyway... Anyone who's seen it please tell me this isn't real.

Vos surprises the team by announcing that the coaxium is fake he reveals that his "inside man", revealed to be Beckett, informed him of Han's plan to sell the real shipment to the Cloud Riders, a rebellion group led by Enfys Nest. Han announces that he anticipated Beckett's deception the coaxium they are holding is real.

Sounds utterly stupid.
---

its easily the worst SW film. I never thought a SW film could be worse than AotC

I thought it was good. i enjoyed the movie and linking the shows together.

this movie ties the animated series clone wars and rebels.

Teras Kasi also was front and center with Keera and Dreigan. I believe its the first time Teras Kasi was not only mentioned but used in either tv show and movie.

back to the animated series clone wars and rebels...
some backstory. Crimson Dawn was led by Maul and Savage Oppress until Maul with death watch took over Mandalore. this of course brought Darth Sidious out because of the power Maul was accumilating. Maul called the Emperor and Vader pretenders to the Sith Lords and used his training to claim Crimson Dawn Syndicate and the coup on Mandalore. He wanted his brother and himself to rule the galaxy as The true Sith Lords. Sidious puts Maul in his place and kills Savage Oppress on Mandalore. Sidious implies using Maul for assassinations. Maul gets away from him and goes into hiding.

some time later Mauls double saber should look different because the other side of it is from an Inquisitor lightsaber. Inquisitors were mainly part of rebels show. Star Wars Rebels ends Maul journey in star wars
---

its Qira not Keera

Star wars story peaked with kotor 2 and will never even come near it again.

#chrisavelloneforever
---

We have a lemon flavoured soft drink (soda) here in Australia called 'Solo'.
---

Theres only one kind of solo i know about

It wasn't that bad... I mean damn.

Some of the stuff TC is complaining about is being wildly misrepresented for the sake of complaining to be honest:

Lando does not fuck robots. L3 makes a comment to Qi'ra about how Lando is in love with her, but not only is this never confirmed or hinted at by Lando, there is in fact a running gag throughout the movie about L3 being convinced that Lando likes her more than he actually does, and Lando himself says that he doesn't care about her at all, and would happily wipe her memory/personality completely if it wouldn't mean losing the Star charts stored in her. When she gets damaged at one point Lando purposefully only 'rescues' the part of her that still has the head attached for this reason. The line about how sex with the robot "can work" is in there, and it is an awful line, but it's very important to note that it comes from a character who repeatedly misrepresents the relationship with Lando, and Qi'ra very obviously disbelievers it. It's also worth noting that pretty much all of L3's characterisation is a joke at the expense of people who whine about inclusiveness, representation etc. - she's a robot parody of SJWs, so her claiming that Lando is so open minded that he will fuck anything is actually making making a joke at the expense of the same people who get annoyed by characters like that complain about. L3 is still the worst character in the film, but pick the right battles, here.

The Falcon also doesn8get its distinct shape due to the Kessel Run as such - there is an escape pod between the prongs that gets shit at a space beast, but this is specifically mentioned as being a modification that Lando has installed, so it's more like getting the ship back to its iconic look. It was an attempt at a fan pleasing moment where the first look at the Falcon as we know and love her comes in a moment of triumph where she succeeds against the odds, more than a "Front Half Of The Spaceship: The Origins" moment.

That said, the part about the origin of Solo's name is completely real, and it somehow comes across even worse on screen than it sounds written down.
---

I don't believe I'll be seeing this movie in theaters. I hesitated to read some of the spoilers but I did. I'm just kinda sick of star wars at this point. Lol.
---

butthole666 posted...

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then designates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

lmao i really hope you're making this up
---

AverageBatarian posted...

butthole666 posted...

Two middle aged white dudes and an older white dude

The only ones in there aside from me and my two friends.

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then dsignates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

That can't be real

---

Romulox28 posted...

butthole666 posted...

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then designates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

lmao i really hope you're making this up

Wow, just wow
---

butthole666 posted...

I almost walked out when the Imperial recruiter asked Han his last name, Han said he doesn't have a family name, and recruiter pauses for several seconds in thought over him having "nobody", then designates him "Solo". That ended up being one of the less egregious moments of the film.

what the fuck.
---

I approve. We need more origins for family names

"Hey Leia, want some of this blue milk?"

"Is it organic?"

"Heyyyy, that's a good idea!"
---

M_Live posted...

I've been hearing mixed things. I wanna check it out, as a Star Wars fans, and not one of those ones who are all "OMG the old trilogy! Disney is RUINING Star Wars!"

Those are the only real Star Wars fans, though.
---