Current Events > my boss got mad with our female server for calling her 'sweetie'

(+) Yeah! (+)

the server stopped by and asked us something and referred to my boss as "sweetie". my boss immediately interrupted her and said "excuse me, i really do not like being called that" and the server was like ".... sorry?" and my boss said "sweetie. you called me 'sweetie' and i really do not appreciate that. please don't do that again".

do you think she overreacted? how do you feel about being called 'pet' (sweetie, hon, dear, etc) names by strangers?
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old ladies are easily offended

That's what waitresses usually call me.
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She will have a fun time in the South lol
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Was the server a male or a female? It honestly makes a difference. If male, pretty dumb move by the server and they should know better. If a female, I'm assuming it was probably a middle-aged server and that was just the norm for them, so that'd be an overreaction.
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K181 posted...

Was the server a male or a female?

my boss got mad with our female server for calling her 'sweetie'

K181 posted...

If a female, I'm assuming it was probably a middle-aged server and that was just the norm for them, so that'd be an overreaction.

the server was probably mid-early 20s and my boss is mid 50s
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Bad reading comprehension, honestly missed that.

Then yeah, pretty dumb overreaction, albeit a bit of an odd habit for a younger server to have.
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I don't like it either, but I don't usually say anything. That said, I don't think it's an overreaction to tell someone you don't like something. That's called communication.
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When my wife was a server she called everyone something like sweetie. Barely ever any complaints and helped tips.
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eston posted...

That said, I don't think it's an overreaction to tell someone you don't like something. That's called communication.

that is true. how will the server know if nobody tells her? but like with all communication, how you communicate is almost as important as what you communicate. i think my boss was about as polite as possible, though.
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It's condescending to call an adult sweetie.
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old lady mad

"Please don't call me sweetie."

"Sure thing, hon."
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I mean, calling your BOSS "sweetie" is p dumb.

Edit: never mind, reading comprehension fail.
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There's a couple of reading comprehension fails in this topic. Is it because it's the end of the work week? Should we all start the weekend early and hit the bars?

I propose we all vacate CE and head for the bar on GameFAQs that we have.
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maybe it's because i'm lazy and don't capitalize properly
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shes white isn't she? middle class, middle aged white women hate people in the service industry.
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KILBOTz posted...

shes white isn't she? middle class, middle aged white women hate people in the service industry.

yeah, white and upper-middle class (combined household income of $250k+; which i know because she told me she's not eligible to contribute to a Roth)
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K181 posted...

Was the server a male or a female? It honestly makes a difference. If male, pretty dumb move by the server and they should know better. If a female, I'm assuming it was probably a middle-aged server and that was just the norm for them, so that'd be an overreaction.

incredible sexsim
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KILBOTz posted...

shes white isn't she? middle class, middle aged white women hate people in the service industry.

It's not about color. You will notice women in a position of power don't like being marginalized or trivialized etc. Because they have to work harder to be taken seriously.
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MacadamianNut3 posted...

She will have a fun time in the South lol

Love that southern hospitality.
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It's a bit weird since the younger girl is saying it to an older woman. The reverse is pretty normal.

I'd still say it's an overreaction because you don't really have that many interactions with the server. It's usually just "can I get some extra.../ a refill on..." after they take the order. Just let it go
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The old woman got offended over jack shit, pathetic.
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I used to work at a retirement home as a sever. My thing was to say hey guys whenever I was about to take someones order. one time I said that to a resident and his wife and he snapped on me lol. he said my wife is not a Guy god damnit, I would kno. From that point on I always used the term folks
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ModLogic posted...

K181 posted...

Was the server a male or a female? It honestly makes a difference. If male, pretty dumb move by the server and they should know better. If a female, I'm assuming it was probably a middle-aged server and that was just the norm for them, so that'd be an overreaction.

incredible sexsim

You're the type of person that gets mad that black people can say the n-word but white people can't, aren't you?
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The professional way to take care of that, would have been to pull her aside privately and address her displeasure without making a scene.
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chrono625 posted...

The professional way to take care of that, would have been to pull her aside privately and address her displeasure without making a scene.

it wasn't like she made a scene or anything.
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Giant_Aspirin posted...

the server stopped by and asked us something and referred to my boss as "sweetie". my boss immediately interrupted her and said "excuse me, i really do not like being called that" and the server was like ".... sorry?" and my boss said "sweetie. you called me 'sweetie' and i really do not appreciate that. please don't do that again".

do you think she overreacted? how do you feel about being called 'pet' (sweetie, hon, dear, etc) names by strangers?

if she doesn't like it, its within her rights to say that

i don't see the problem

also, people ALWAYS say: well if x makes them uncomfortable, they SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

now, she says something and its like that's bad too

A younger woman calling her superior who's much older than her "sweetie" does seem really disrespectful. It's like some cashier in his 20s calling his supervisors in his 40s "son"
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Yeah, very similar scenarios have happened at my workplace too. Like, I would never have called one of my co-workers "sweetie" because it always sounded unprofessional and borderline condescending to me. But after seeing how a couple of them reacted when other people used that word... apparently it's a bigger deal than I originally thought.

I think it's part generational, too. The younger women in my office don't seem to care, but the Gen X-ers really hate that word, I imagine because there was a time where it was more commonly used with malintent.
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KILBOTz posted...

shes white isn't she? middle class, middle aged white women hate people in the service industry.

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