Poll of the Day > welp, I got a "we need to talk today" text on my way to work

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Babbit55
02/13/18 2:06:53 PM
#352:


I dont get this breaking up because of family issues.... if someone cares for you and want to be together could they not bet a support rock.... I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died and her dad got lung cancer about 6 months after we started dating. I was there for her when she needed me and always will be, just like she is for me, I mean thats the whole point of a relationship isnt it? Or am I missing something?
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Jen0125
02/13/18 2:06:59 PM
#353:


EvilMegas posted...
People wait a month before having sex?


right?

my boyfriend and i had sex the night following our first date (we had breakfast and he came and hung out with me when i got out of work) and we've been together almost 3.5 years now. it's really not uncommon.
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ExtremeM65
02/13/18 2:08:07 PM
#354:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Uh what. A month isn't that fast to start getting sexual. I question how many people saying that have dated much in the last few years. Or decade.

This. Also, a month is really not that short a period of time, especially if you are spending a lot of time with one person during that period.

Doctor Foxx posted...
There's nothing wrong with both parties wanting to explore things sexually within a month and you'll find waiting a month is not close to the norm.

Or even on the first date.
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Doctor Foxx
02/13/18 2:12:01 PM
#355:


Babbit55 posted...
I dont get this breaking up because of family issues.... if someone cares for you and want to be together could they not bet a support rock.... I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died and her dad got lung cancer about 6 months after we started dating. I was there for her when she needed me and always will be, just like she is for me, I mean thats the whole point of a relationship isnt it? Or am I missing something?

In my case I was dealing with a lot of unresolved feelings about other people and I felt guilty having someone care and be supportive when I was a big black hole of sadness.

When you're deeply distressed it's not always sensible choices that are made
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Babbit55
02/13/18 2:13:21 PM
#356:


I meant wifes mum not wife doh!
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ZiggiStardust
02/13/18 2:15:13 PM
#357:


Jen0125 posted...
EvilMegas posted...
People wait a month before having sex?

right?

my boyfriend and i had sex the night following our first date (we had breakfast and he came and hung out with me when i got out of work) and we've been together almost 3.5 years now. it's really not uncommon.

when i was dating my wife, we didn't have sex until a month and a half into the relationship. tbh, at the time, i probably would have moved on from any other girl who made me wait like that, ok?
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Rockies
02/13/18 2:17:53 PM
#358:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Uh what. A month isn't that fast to start getting sexual. I question how many people saying that have dated much in the last few years. Or decade.


Was it even a month though, or like two weeks in RC's case? I don't know, I haven't been following that closely. You can do it within a month and it might work out, or it might not. Just because it sometimes works out doesn't mean it's the best way. There is also certainly such a thing as waiting too long, but I'd have to think the longer you wait, the higher the chance that both parties are looking for something serious.
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RCtheWSBC
02/13/18 2:25:07 PM
#359:


I'm the one who wanted to have sex (after 3 weeks), so I went for it. The next day he communicated to me that he wanted to make sure we weren't going too fast and that we moving at a comfortable pace. I said sure, that actually would be a nice change of pace for me, too.

It's just sex to me. I find it enjoyable, and I find him attractive. That doesn't mean I just wanted to hook up.
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Jen0125
02/13/18 2:32:56 PM
#360:


Rockies posted...
You can do it within a month and it might work out, or it might not. Just because it sometimes works out doesn't mean it's the best way.


there is no "best way" when it comes to relationships. it's all about what both parties want to do. there's no one size fits all approach to dating.
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Doctor Foxx
02/13/18 2:34:03 PM
#361:


Rockies posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
Uh what. A month isn't that fast to start getting sexual. I question how many people saying that have dated much in the last few years. Or decade.


Was it even a month though, or like two weeks in RC's case? I don't know, I haven't been following that closely. You can do it within a month and it might work out, or it might not. Just because it sometimes works out doesn't mean it's the best way. There is also certainly such a thing as waiting too long, but I'd have to think the longer you wait, the higher the chance that both parties are looking for something serious.

Waiting doesn't make it work either. Then you have sexual incompatibility to deal with after the emotional investment. Relationships would probably "work out" better if premarital sex was not allowed and people also couldn't easily divorce. A bad marriage is not a failed marriage if you can't get out of it. Oh look we're be back to the norms of generations past

A month is too long in most cases. If someone wanted to wait I'd respect their decision. However, there's absolutely nothing wrong with both people talking it to that level within a month.

Having sex then doesn't break anything that would have stood the test of time

Jen0125 posted...
Rockies posted...
You can do it within a month and it might work out, or it might not. Just because it sometimes works out doesn't mean it's the best way.


there is no "best way" when it comes to relationships. it's all about what both parties want to do. there's no one size fits all approach to dating.

Seriously.

The idea that a month is too soon is really really really really really old fashioned though damn
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ZiggiStardust
02/13/18 2:39:00 PM
#362:


it's your own lives, people, but honestly, i wouldn't listen to advice about dating or successful relationships from someone who's a divorced shut-in, whose best friends are cats, ok?
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Nicodaemos
02/13/18 2:39:19 PM
#363:


EvilMegas posted...
Thats been around since the begininng of time.


I've been taking L's since forever but for whatever reason this December through January was the season of "sorry, just got out of a relationship, not sure if I'm ready to date etc." and it bugs me.

Either they're impulsive and care for no one else's time but their own, or they're lying because they think it's less awkward than just being straight up and saying they're not into me.

I think they're trash people in both cases and I hope I stop running into them when I get back on Tinder.
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likehelly
02/13/18 2:40:01 PM
#364:


Babbit55 posted...
I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died

uh
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Muffinz0rz
02/13/18 2:40:48 PM
#365:


my wife left me
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RCtheWSBC
02/13/18 2:41:19 PM
#366:


My wife just went to grab a glass of milk, she'll be back soon
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Muffinz0rz
02/13/18 2:41:37 PM
#367:


RCtheWSBC posted...
My wife just went to grab a glass of milk, she'll be back soon

mine left to go get chad-blasted
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Rockies
02/13/18 2:42:41 PM
#368:


That's "old fashioned"? I don't care if people have sex whenever they want. Whatever you're trying to say about banning premarital sex is not like me at all. People can have casual hookups for all I care, I'm not against it. All I'm saying is that sex is a component that can change a relationship dynamic for better or for worse, and when you choose to have it has an effect. That being said, knowing now that RC initiated it I have more doubt that this guy meant any harm (though if he initiated it any time afterwards, and knowing these things could come up, that would be a little weird).

Also, I don't think a month is really that long of a time when you've first met somebody. A lot of new couples might see each other only a few times in that period. If it's somebody you're hanging out with all the time, or maybe that you knew as a friend beforehand? Yeah, I understand that a month is definitely a long time in that case.
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EvilMegas
02/13/18 2:43:55 PM
#369:


Nicodaemos posted...
EvilMegas posted...
Thats been around since the begininng of time.


I've been taking L's since forever but for whatever reason this December through January was the season of "sorry, just got out of a relationship, not sure if I'm ready to date etc." and it bugs me.

Either they're impulsive and care for no one else's time but their own, or they're lying because they think it's less awkward than just being straight up and saying they're not into me.

I think they're trash people in both cases and I hope I stop running into them when I get back on Tinder.

I mean its tinder, people go on it to get a nut off. Sometimes you run into a unicorn but its mostly assholes
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Rockies
02/13/18 2:45:18 PM
#370:


Nicodaemos posted...
sorry, just got out of a relationship


Man, I don't know if I'd tell anybody that, especially as part of dumping them. That just sounds like "Yeah, I really was just looking for a rebound"
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Doctor Foxx
02/13/18 2:48:39 PM
#371:


Rockies posted...
That's "old fashioned"? I don't care if people have sex whenever they want. Whatever you're trying to say about banning premarital sex is not like me at all. People can have casual hookups for all I care, I'm not against it. All I'm saying is that sex is a component that can change a relationship dynamic for better or for worse, and when you choose to have it has an effect. That being said, knowing now that RC initiated it I have more doubt that this guy meant any harm (though if he initiated it any time afterwards, knowing these things came up, that would be a little weird).

Also, I don't think a month is really that long of a time when you've first met somebody. A lot of new couples might see each other only a few times in that period. If it's somebody you're hanging out with all the time, or maybe that you knew as a friend beforehand? Yeah, I understand that a month is definitely a long time in that case.

Thinking a month is too soon? Yes.

Let's go by whatever has been the norm in media in the last couple decades. It's so done it's a trope: Third date is sex date

Go on one date a week, which is pretty reasonable when you don't know someone so well, and you're having sex within a few weeks.

Unless you really infrequently see someone. Then maybe that third date goes after a month.

And you could be looking for someone serious and still have sex in that time frame. There's really no good reason to be hung up on it when both parties are interested. What it would suggest to me if someone was surprised at sex in that timeframe is that the person is sex averse or has different values. and that may be an indicator it's not a good match for me.
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Blighboy
02/13/18 2:53:59 PM
#372:


ITT we learn chewy was born in 1850 and didn't get laid until 2050
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Rockies
02/13/18 3:01:25 PM
#373:


I'm not sex averse or traditionally-valued at all. The only reason I'd really be worried about moving too fast is if something came up or the spark wasn't there and it came off like I was only interested in a hookup. I thought most women really don't like guys like that. Maybe I'm wrong though, I've never had a hookup. You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:02:58 PM
#374:


Rockies posted...
You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women


what about when i was making all those topics objectifying the guys i was sleeping with off okcupid and plenty of fish?

i mean hook up culture works both ways. just because you're doing it doesn't mean you're a douche. that's just the potd troll alt gimmicks.
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FatalAccident
02/13/18 3:03:06 PM
#375:


Damn

Onwards and upwards I suppose
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Muffinz0rz
02/13/18 3:05:14 PM
#376:


Jen0125 posted...
Rockies posted...
You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women


what about when i was making all those topics objectifying the guys i was sleeping with off okcupid and plenty of fish?

i mean hook up culture works both ways. just because you're doing it doesn't mean you're a douche. that's just the potd troll alt gimmicks.

...so you just called yourself a douche?
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Rockies
02/13/18 3:05:50 PM
#377:


Of course I don't know why I'd even worry about coming off too strong with a date when I can't even match anybody on Tinder lol
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Doctor Foxx
02/13/18 3:07:19 PM
#378:


Rockies posted...
I'm not sex averse or traditionally-valued at all. The only reason I'd really be worried about moving too fast is if something came up or the spark wasn't there and it came off like I was only interested in a hookup. I thought most women really don't like guys like that. Maybe I'm wrong though, I've never had a hookup. You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women

yes they are the kinds of people incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship. They objectify those people they see and do nothing else. They like putting on a show about it.

like for example SMT who intentionally dates 16 year olds as someone around age 30

anyway if there's no spark don't move to sex

if there is a spark and you move to sex and it doesn't work out then eh

hook ups are different from having sex with someone in the course of dating. Which people often do within the first month. :P
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:08:22 PM
#379:


Muffinz0rz posted...
Jen0125 posted...
Rockies posted...
You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women


what about when i was making all those topics objectifying the guys i was sleeping with off okcupid and plenty of fish?

i mean hook up culture works both ways. just because you're doing it doesn't mean you're a douche. that's just the potd troll alt gimmicks.

...so you just called yourself a douche?


i don't think the behavior is douchey. lots of women on tinder objectify themselves to get quick dick. i mean you posted a pic just the other day of a chick with her tits out as her pic on tinder. if the chick has that pic she's obviously wanting to flaunt what she's got so is it really objectifying for a troll alt like larryfraggn to comment that he banged some hot tinder slut with big tits? the word slut is problematic because he's doing the same exact thing (being a hot tinder slut with big tits, you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted) but if the chick is putting it out there i have a hard time calling it objectification.

the same goes for me when i was on those sites. i'd comment about the hot shirtless guys and how i banged them. if that's douchey behavior, sure i'm a douche in that regard.
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Rockies
02/13/18 3:11:50 PM
#380:


Does SMT really date 16 y/OS?

Does SMT date anybody? I don't think "date" is the right word. Maybe "manipulate into a bad relationship after knocking you up".
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:12:06 PM
#381:


Rockies posted...
Does SMT date anybody? I don't think "date" is the right word. Maybe "manipulate into a bad relationship after knocking you up".


lmao
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Muffinz0rz
02/13/18 3:14:41 PM
#382:


Jen0125 posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
Jen0125 posted...
Rockies posted...
You do gotta admit that at least the guys here who brag about their hookups really fit the douche stereotype and objectify women


what about when i was making all those topics objectifying the guys i was sleeping with off okcupid and plenty of fish?

i mean hook up culture works both ways. just because you're doing it doesn't mean you're a douche. that's just the potd troll alt gimmicks.

...so you just called yourself a douche?


i don't think the behavior is douchey. lots of women on tinder objectify themselves to get quick dick. i mean you posted a pic just the other day of a chick with her tits out as her pic on tinder. if the chick has that pic she's obviously wanting to flaunt what she's got so is it really objectifying for a troll alt like larryfraggn to comment that he banged some hot tinder slut with big tits? the word slut is problematic because he's doing the same exact thing (being a hot tinder slut with big tits, you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted) but if the chick is putting it out there i have a hard time calling it objectification.

the same goes for me when i was on those sites. i'd comment about the hot shirtless guys and how i banged them. if that's douchey behavior, sure i'm a douche in that regard.

Respect
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Doctor Foxx
02/13/18 3:15:41 PM
#383:


Rockies posted...
Does SMT really date 16 y/OS?

Does SMT date anybody? I don't think "date" is the right word. Maybe "manipulate into a bad relationship after knocking you up".

i was being polite rather than saying he has sex with school children as a grown ass man

but yeah

probably not dating
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likehelly
02/13/18 3:17:36 PM
#384:


Jen0125 posted...
you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted

i pointed out how one of the images was photoshopped before, i think it's safe to say it might not be him
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Babbit55
02/13/18 3:18:24 PM
#385:


likehelly posted...
Babbit55 posted...
I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died

uh


Yeah, typo, meant mum
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Muffinz0rz
02/13/18 3:19:55 PM
#386:


Babbit55 posted...
likehelly posted...
Babbit55 posted...
I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died

uh


Yeah, typo, meant mum

I wish you hadn't told us this was a typo and just left it as is
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:30:31 PM
#387:


likehelly posted...
Jen0125 posted...
you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted

i pointed out how one of the images was photoshopped before, i think it's safe to say it might not be him


even if it's not really him it's the image he's using to represent himself
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LaggnFragnLarry
02/13/18 3:40:04 PM
#388:


likehelly posted...
Jen0125 posted...
you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted

i pointed out how one of the images was photoshopped before, i think it's safe to say it might not be him

RcUGcni
i do have a nice set of tits
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:40:43 PM
#389:


look at that rack *heart eyes emoji*
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Renraku_San
02/13/18 3:40:59 PM
#390:


Muffinz0rz posted...
Babbit55 posted...
likehelly posted...
Babbit55 posted...
I met my wife about 3 months after her wife died

uh


Yeah, typo, meant mum

I wish you hadn't told us this was a typo and just left it as is


lmao!
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EvilMegas
02/13/18 3:41:19 PM
#391:


You're so pale it burns my eyes
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:41:49 PM
#392:


EvilMegas posted...
You're so pale it burns my eyes


man if you think he's pale my body would make you sick lmao
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RCtheWSBC
02/13/18 3:42:50 PM
#393:


He has a nice Florida glow about him
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EvilMegas
02/13/18 3:43:52 PM
#394:


Jen0125 posted...
EvilMegas posted...
You're so pale it burns my eyes


man if you think he's pale my body would make you sick lmao

Its the lighting mostly lol
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Jen0125
02/13/18 3:44:10 PM
#395:


RCtheWSBC posted...
He has a nice Florida glow about him


yeah he looks like a hot dog to me
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RCtheWSBC
02/13/18 3:46:12 PM
#396:


Jen0125 posted...
RCtheWSBC posted...
He has a nice Florida glow about him


yeah he looks like a hot dog to me

lmfao
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SunWuKung420
02/13/18 3:47:58 PM
#397:


He thought he had to write the sign backwards. Lol
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Rockies
02/13/18 3:51:39 PM
#398:


You spelled heliy wrong
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LaggnFragnLarry
02/13/18 3:53:53 PM
#399:


SunWuKung420 posted...
He thought he had to write the sign backwards. Lol

thats the mirror sunny
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Rockies
02/13/18 3:55:52 PM
#400:


Wait, so you're telling me you didn't have somebody behind the sink taking a picture while you held up a phone for some reason?
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likehelly
02/13/18 3:58:08 PM
#401:


LaggnFragnLarry posted...
likehelly posted...
Jen0125 posted...
you've seen the shirtless pics he's posted

i pointed out how one of the images was photoshopped before, i think it's safe to say it might not be him

RcUGcni
i do have a nice set of tits

you need to do something about the reflection in the sunglasses dude

they are a dead giveaway that the image is photoshopped
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