Current Events > Toilet paper folders are fucking weird

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hortanz 12/23/17 2:14:28 AM #1:	Who has the time to sit there and meticulously fold things they're about to stick up their asshole? It's so oddly obsessive - reminds me of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. You know no one normal is doing that, they just wad up some of the good stuff and go to town. The virgin fold vs. The chad crumple. The damage control reasoning they give is always so hilariously strange, as well. "uh, it saves more paper! Gives the m-m-maximum wiping area too, it's the most efficient choice!" You can just imagine these guys sitting down to shit, talking to themselves like the guy in Grandma's Boy "neeeeeeeuuu paper folded to half size specification! Bzzzooop! Calibrating hand for maximum shit retrieval! Inserting appendage into anus! Beep boop!" Just crumple it like a normal human being. --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892725617] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Who has the time to sit there and meticulously fold things they're about to stick up their asshole? It's so oddly obsessive - reminds me of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. You know no one normal is doing that, they just wad up some of the good stuff and go to town. The virgin fold vs. The chad crumple. The damage control reasoning they give is always so hilariously strange, as well. "uh, it saves more paper! Gives the m-m-maximum wiping area too, it's the most efficient choice!" You can just imagine these guys sitting down to shit, talking to themselves like the guy in Grandma's Boy "neeeeeeeuuu paper folded to half size specification! Bzzzooop! Calibrating hand for maximum shit retrieval! Inserting appendage into anus! Beep boop!" Just crumple it like a normal human being.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Turbam 12/23/17 2:16:04 AM #2:	Filthy wadders like yourself should just move to the sewers with the rest of the rats --- ~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~ I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! http://i.imgur.com/p9Xvjvs.gif <cite>Turbam posted [p:892725670] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Filthy wadders like yourself should just move to the sewers with the rest of the rats</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HighOnSolar 12/23/17 2:16:29 AM #3:	there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take --- Surf <cite>HighOnSolar posted [p:892725687] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 2:17:24 AM #4:	HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892725711] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
TheMarthKoopa 12/23/17 2:17:38 AM #5:	Seems like it would take more effort to crumple than fold Easy to fold while you tear it off at the same time <cite>TheMarthKoopa posted [p:892725717] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Seems like it would take more effort to crumple than fold Easy to fold while you tear it off at the same time</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HighOnSolar 12/23/17 2:17:57 AM #6:	idk man. i don't play the lottery either if that says anything --- Surf <cite>HighOnSolar posted [p:892725726] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>idk man. i don't play the lottery either if that says anything</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
CapnMuffin 12/23/17 2:18:23 AM #7:	hortanz posted... HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience --- "its okay a lizard ate me and elucidated my fate" - MJ_Max on Dark Souls 3DSFC : 0860-3930-2170 \| NNID : CapnMuffin \| XBGT : Capn Muffin <cite>CapnMuffin posted [p:892725740] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience</quote> </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
pkmnlord 12/23/17 2:18:28 AM #8:	hortanz posted... The virgin fold vs. The chad crumple Lmao --- http://i.imgur.com/MP7ZznH.jpg <cite>pkmnlord posted [p:892725745] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote>The virgin fold vs. The chad crumple</quote> Lmao</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SuperExcitebike 12/23/17 2:21:03 AM #9:	Lol y'all really not using bidets in 2017? --- SMU Mustangs/Jayhawks/Texans/Rockets/Astros http://followmy.tv/u/Excitebike <cite>SuperExcitebike posted [p:892725825] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Lol y'all really not using bidets in 2017?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
eggcorn 12/23/17 2:21:11 AM #10:	CapnMuffin posted... hortanz posted... HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience <cite>eggcorn posted [p:892725828] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>CapnMuffin posted...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience</quote> </quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 2:38:55 AM #11:	SuperExcitebike posted... Lol y'all really not using bidets in 2017? Who said you have to choose --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892726324] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>SuperExcitebike posted...</cite> <quote>Lol y'all really not using bidets in 2017?</quote> Who said you have to choose</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
MorbidFaithless 12/23/17 2:41:11 AM #12:	This is a real thing. Weird ass men who believe it's somehow strange to have a thoroughly clean asshole --- walk like thunder <cite>MorbidFaithless posted [p:892726393] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>This is a real thing. Weird ass men who believe it's somehow strange to have a thoroughly clean asshole</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 2:54:11 AM #13:	MorbidFaithless posted... This is a real thing. Weird ass men who believe it's somehow strange to have a thoroughly clean asshole I know right? I just don't get it smh --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892726718] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>MorbidFaithless posted...</cite> <quote>This is a real thing. Weird ass men who believe it's somehow strange to have a thoroughly clean asshole</quote> I know right? I just don't get it smh</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
pegusus123456 12/23/17 2:57:55 AM #14:	eggcorn posted... CapnMuffin posted... hortanz posted... HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience --- http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif So? I deeded to some gay porn. It doesn't mean anything. - Patty_Fleur <cite>pegusus123456 posted [p:892726808] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>eggcorn posted...</cite> <quote><cite>CapnMuffin posted...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience</quote> </quote></quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
powerman1426 12/23/17 2:58:10 AM #15:	hortanz posted... stick up their asshole hortanz posted... Inserting appendage into anus hortanz posted... 2 years of wiping experience I think you're doing it wrong tbh --- http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/1309-tradesmen-and-diyers http://i.imgtc.com/6wdOONn9kF.gif <cite>powerman1426 posted [p:892726812] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote>stick up their asshole</quote> <cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote>Inserting appendage into anus</quote> <cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote>2 years of wiping experience</quote> I think you're doing it wrong tbh</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 12:37:34 PM #16:	. --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892741169] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Giant_Aspirin 12/23/17 12:38:53 PM #17:	my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it. --- Playing: Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice (PC), Cuphead (PC) *(~);} - Get out the pans, don't just stand there dreamin' - {;(~)* <cite>Giant_Aspirin posted [p:892741228] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
thronedfire2 12/23/17 12:40:31 PM #18:	Giant_Aspirin posted... my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it. Stop buying the cheapest paper possible --- I could see you, but I couldn't hear you You were holding your hat in the breeze Turning away from me In this moment you were stolen... <cite>thronedfire2 posted [p:892741305] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>Giant_Aspirin posted...</cite> <quote>my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it.</quote> Stop buying the cheapest paper possible</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
NeoShadowhen 12/23/17 12:50:04 PM #19:	The only thing weirder than wadders are standers. <cite>NeoShadowhen posted [p:892741771] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>The only thing weirder than wadders are standers.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KillerKhan420 12/23/17 12:55:20 PM #20:	Lol sticking toilet paper up your ass? Wow I don't know who taught you to wipe but damn that's some hardcore shit --- "I know how the business works because I'm a wrestling fan"-hulkhogan1 <cite>KillerKhan420 posted [p:892741996] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Lol sticking toilet paper up your ass? Wow I don't know who taught you to wipe but damn that's some hardcore shit</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 12:56:16 PM #21:	Giant_Aspirin posted... my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it. low iq wiper --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892742038] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>Giant_Aspirin posted...</cite> <quote>my anus doesn't enjoy being ravaged by the roughness of the wadded approach. if your butthole likes being torn apart by the friction, then more power to you, but i don't dig it.</quote> low iq wiper</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HypnoCoosh 12/23/17 1:04:13 PM #22:	Turbam posted... Filthy wadders like yourself should just move to the sewers with the rest of the rats /thread lol --- We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. - C.S. Lewis <cite>HypnoCoosh posted [p:892742348] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>Turbam posted...</cite> <quote>Filthy wadders like yourself should just move to the sewers with the rest of the rats</quote> /thread lol</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Caution999 12/23/17 1:06:58 PM #23:	I'm a crumpler and proud damnit --- "Impossible is just a word to let people feel good about themselves when they quit." - Vyse, Skies of Arcadia <cite>Caution999 posted [p:892742474] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>I'm a crumpler and proud damnit</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HaVeNII7 12/23/17 1:10:58 PM #24:	People actually crumple the paper up? Is this how shit always gets all over the stalls and toilet? Fold it you uncultured swine. --- PSN/Steam: HaVeNII7 <cite>HaVeNII7 posted [p:892742638] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>People actually crumple the paper up? Is this how shit always gets all over the stalls and toilet? Fold it you uncultured swine.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Scorsese2002 12/23/17 1:13:25 PM #25:	Air dry the dingleberries and then painfully pull them off the hair master race --- https://www.twitch.tv/dtake86 <cite>Scorsese2002 posted [p:892742741] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Air dry the dingleberries and then painfully pull them off the hair master race</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
#26	Post #26 was unavailable or deleted.
einegutePerson 12/23/17 1:16:50 PM #27:	people still use toilet paper lmfao just poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain --- im a good person <cite>einegutePerson posted [p:892742905] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>people still use toilet paper lmfao just poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KillerKhan420 12/23/17 1:25:11 PM #28:	einegutePerson posted... people still use toilet paper lmfao just poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain Lol --- "I know how the business works because I'm a wrestling fan"-hulkhogan1 <cite>KillerKhan420 posted [p:892743222] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>einegutePerson posted...</cite> <quote>people still use toilet paper lmfao just poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain</quote> Lol</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KLouD_KoNNeCteD 12/23/17 1:35:56 PM #29:	I have my poops removed via syringe. --- Quintons fatass way back there. Homie cant keep his pants up. Tryna borrow a belt I'm like Nobody here wear size EQUATOR!! <cite>KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted [p:892743633] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>I have my poops removed via syringe.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
synth_real 12/23/17 1:59:20 PM #30:	The crumplers need to use more, leading to a higher probability of clogging the toilet. I buy the good toilet paper, so I don't need a massive wad of it, and even then I only use it for the preliminary wipe so that I only need to use 1 wet wipe afterward for the proper cleaning. --- "I'm the straightest guy on this board. I'm so straight that I watch gay porn." - Smarkil <cite>synth_real posted [p:892744699] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>The crumplers need to use more, leading to a higher probability of clogging the toilet. I buy the good toilet paper, so I don't need a massive wad of it, and even then I only use it for the preliminary wipe so that I only need to use 1 wet wipe afterward for the proper cleaning.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KLouD_KoNNeCteD 12/23/17 2:07:28 PM #31:	Hell, sometimes I like to lift the top of the tank off and poop in there. --- Quintons fatass way back there. Homie cant keep his pants up. Tryna borrow a belt I'm like Nobody here wear size EQUATOR!! <cite>KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted [p:892745082] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Hell, sometimes I like to lift the top of the tank off and poop in there.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 8:27:21 PM #32:	KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted... I have my poops removed via syringe. I've been thinking about trying this, what brand do you suggest? My friend swears by Bad Dragon --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892762863] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...</cite> <quote>I have my poops removed via syringe.</quote> I've been thinking about trying this, what brand do you suggest? My friend swears by Bad Dragon</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KLouD_KoNNeCteD 12/23/17 8:34:52 PM #33:	hortanz posted... KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted... I have my poops removed via syringe. I've been thinking about trying this, what brand do you suggest? My friend swears by Bad Dragon Just find some junkie, they always have needles. --- Quintons fatass way back there. Homie cant keep his pants up. Tryna borrow a belt I'm like Nobody here wear size EQUATOR!! <cite>KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted [p:892763264] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote><cite>KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...</cite> <quote>I have my poops removed via syringe.</quote> I've been thinking about trying this, what brand do you suggest? My friend swears by Bad Dragon</quote> Just find some junkie, they always have needles.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
beechesfreeman 12/23/17 8:37:51 PM #34:	The real question is, how do you know anyone does it differently from you? --- Grandad Beaches Freeman <cite>beechesfreeman posted [p:892763402] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>The real question is, how do you know anyone does it differently from you?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocDelicious 12/23/17 8:40:39 PM #35:	I don't care how you choose to wipe your ass. Your dirty butthole is your own problem. But if you're a god damn nest builder you better clean up your sweaty fucking ass-paper when you're done. --- o7 Let strength be granted so the world might be mended. <cite>DocDelicious posted [p:892763538] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>I don't care how you choose to wipe your ass. Your dirty butthole is your own problem. But if you're a god damn nest builder you better clean up your sweaty fucking ass-paper when you're done.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/23/17 8:50:41 PM #36:	DocDelicious posted... I don't care how you choose to wipe your ass. Your dirty butthole is your own problem. But if you're a god damn nest builder you better clean up your sweaty fucking ass-paper when you're done. I didn't know there was a term for my people --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892764025] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>DocDelicious posted...</cite> <quote>I don't care how you choose to wipe your ass. Your dirty butthole is your own problem. But if you're a god damn nest builder you better clean up your sweaty fucking ass-paper when you're done.</quote> I didn't know there was a term for my people</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
pikachupwnage 12/23/17 9:00:27 PM #37:	HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take When I was young I would put my fingers in my butt to pull the poop out manually if it didnt come out right away. --- I'm Mary Poppins y'all. http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/665/328/d75.gif <cite>pikachupwnage posted [p:892764501] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> When I was young I would put my fingers in my butt to pull the poop out manually if it didnt come out right away.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
I Like Toast 12/23/17 9:03:51 PM #38:	Lmao you still wipe? I just shit in the shower. Then I stomp it down. And wash my anus with water power like a fucking 21st century human being. --- If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all <cite>I Like Toast posted [p:892764670] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote>Lmao you still wipe? I just shit in the shower. Then I stomp it down. And wash my anus with water power like a fucking 21st century human being.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Returning_CEmen 12/23/17 9:16:47 PM #39:	eggcorn posted... CapnMuffin posted... hortanz posted... HighOnSolar posted... there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience I think he means he perfected the wipe when he was like 5. --- http://i.imgtc.com/BOhYeOg.jpg <cite>Returning_CEmen posted [p:892765335] in Toilet pap... [t:76128366]...</cite> <quote><cite>eggcorn posted...</cite> <quote><cite>CapnMuffin posted...</cite> <quote><cite>hortanz posted...</cite> <quote><cite>HighOnSolar posted...</cite> <quote>there's always the chance that the way you happen to crumple it that one specific time, the spot where your finger is is only one layer thick. that's not a risk i'm willing to take</quote> This doesn't happen after about 2 years of wiping experience</quote> </quote></quote> I think he means he perfected the wipe when he was like 5.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Toilet paper folders are fucking weird (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Toilet paper folders are fucking weird