Current Events > God's finally released the patchnotes for the upcoming update.

(+) Yeah! (+)

- Reduced the effectiveness of White Privilege
- Made adjustments to Black People
- Fixed the glitch where sometimes the entire slice's topping comes off on the first bite of a pizza
- Fixed a rare glitch where Men may sit on their testicles
- Lowered the aggro radius for police and reduced their attack rate
- Reduced the damage of Hot Pockets
- Fixed an issue that was causing dogs to only bark, but never bork
- Lowered the damage cats do to a human's hand when playing with it
- Added the expansion: Mars Colony
- Increased frequency of alien abductions in urban environments, reduced frequency in rural environments
- Increased the scaling for prayers based off the user's faith
- Fixed a spawning issue that was causing life in another galaxy to sometimes incorrectly spawn in Earth's oceans
- Increased dogs' tracking of tennis balls
- Increased the counter damage of Chaos Blade

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When is it available for download?
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Twin3Turbo posted...

When is it available for download?

Only He knows the time.
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Politicians still not nerfed

What the fuck is He thinking
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will it be free
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Kelystic posted...

will it be free

Yeah, this isn't one of the premium ones that require virgin sacrifices.

VectorChaos posted...

Politicians still not nerfed

What the fuck is He thinking

They're whales, can't offend them.
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admit I chuckled at the below, since the ocean is hell
Tmk posted...

- Fixed a spawning issue that was causing life in another galaxy to sometimes incorrectly spawn in Earth's oceans

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-Released Half-Life 3
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Tmk posted...

Fixed a spawning issue that was causing life in another galaxy to sometimes incorrectly spawn in Earth's oceans

Lmao
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Coffeebeanz posted...

-Released Half-Life 3

That's planned as one of the final seven patches that will herald the arrival of the final DLC: Apocalypse
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Still waiting for the fix to make gasoline explode upon contact with bullets like it's advertised...
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Lmao, this is a quality topic right here
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Something that was added but not in the notes

-Recuded skill check to become a political leader
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Reduced damage from Hot Pockets? Yeeeeah!
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Irony posted...

Reduced damage from Hot Pockets? Yeeeeah!

Terrible change. This blatant pandering to casuals is why so many people are quitting life, but I guess God's greedy ass needs to get those fucking worshipers somehow. Seems like hardcore lifers don't matter, just appeal to those crying babies who need to suck a tit whenever they get too hungry.
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RE_expert44 posted...

Something that was added but not in the notes

-Recuded skill check to become a political leader

That skill check hasn't been as high as it should be for a while.

The real problem is their Divide & Conquer ability. It's stupid overpowered.
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pegusus123456 posted...

Irony posted...

Reduced damage from Hot Pockets? Yeeeeah!

Terrible change. This blatant pandering to casuals is why so many people are quitting life, but I guess God's greedy ass needs to get those fucking worshipers somehow. Seems like hardcore lifers don't matter, just appeal to those crying babies who need to suck a tit whenever they get too hungry.

Shut the fuck up number in username trash
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Irony posted...

pegusus123456 posted...

Irony posted...

Reduced damage from Hot Pockets? Yeeeeah!

Terrible change. This blatant pandering to casuals is why so many people are quitting life, but I guess God's greedy ass needs to get those fucking worshipers somehow. Seems like hardcore lifers don't matter, just appeal to those crying babies who need to suck a tit whenever they get too hungry.

Shut the fuck up number in username trash

You think you're hot shit, don't you? I bet you only started playing after the penicillin and sterilization DLC came out. Probably don't even remember a time where you had to hunt and gather because God thought that was "too difficult" and had to release that bullshit farming minigame.
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Only a slight buff to the Chaos Blade?

What a crock of shigalette.
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I don't see why people still support this crappy developer. He releases a buggy mess from the start, had good ideas with the Jesus add on (which was only available for a limited time), but failed to really capitalize on it, and then still waits millennia to release patches. The game still has very shitty balance and is still full of glitches.
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When the fuck are they gonna get off their ass and re balance the in-game economy, literally 99% of the playerbase is fucked because whales are buying all the microtransactions
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-Increased counter damage for the Chaos Blade

Fucking died. Lmfao
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Southernfatman posted...

The game still has very shitty balance and is still full of glitches.

Right? Like I specced into Nice Guy, but a lot of times female NPCs aren't affected and then some douchebag gets them instead! Bugged wooing mechanics.
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VectorChaos posted...

Politicians still not nerfed

What the fuck is He thinking

I wish I had made this response. Outstanding.
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Frolex posted...

When the fuck are they gonna get off their ass and re balance the in-game economy, literally 99% of the playerbase is fucked because whales are buying all the microtransactions

This is a complaint I will agree with. Whales didn't used to be an issue because PvP was a lot more balanced. It was difficult, sure, but you could always get enough people together and take 'em down. Ever since God released that Arms Race weapon pack, though, the F2P hardcore players can't compete.
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Tmk posted...

- Fixed the glitch where sometimes the entire slice's topping comes off on the first bite of a pizza
- Fixed a rare glitch where Men may sit on their testicles

thank fucking christ
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Also why did God hide the nerf to the ozone in the patch notes?
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Since when have rich people been called whales? Did I miss the slang meeting where that was started?
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Duncanwii posted...

Since when have rich people been called whales? Did I miss the slang meeting where that was started?

It's a term for P2W players in F2P games.
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Unfortunately there's still the physics glitch that causes people to die suddenly for no apparent reason.
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prettyprincess posted...

admit I chuckled at the below, since the ocean is hell
Tmk posted...

- Fixed a spawning issue that was causing life in another galaxy to sometimes incorrectly spawn in Earth's oceans

Lol me too.
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Kineth posted...

Duncanwii posted...

Since when have rich people been called whales? Did I miss the slang meeting where that was started?

It's a term for P2W players in F2P games.

And players who don't spend anything are referred to as minnows.
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Increased the scaling for prayers based off the user's faith

Lol. Brilliant TOPIC
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- Reduced the damage of Hot Pockets

Hmmm, does this refer to both burn damage and cholesterol damage?
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action52 posted...

Hmmm, does this refer to both burn damage and cholesterol damage?

I think so, but I feel like this is actually a nerf to them ultimately. Less people will eat them once they can actually taste them due to no longer having their mouth destroyed by scalding approximations of tomato sauce.
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Tmk posted...

Southernfatman posted...

The game still has very shitty balance and is still full of glitches.

Right? Like I specced into Nice Guy, but a lot of times female NPCs aren't affected and then some douchebag gets them instead! Bugged wooing mechanics.

God: "Nope. Working as intended. #gitgud."
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Does anyone know when it will release out of early access?
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This sounds like a Buzzfeed article
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weapon_d00d816 posted...

This sounds like a Buzzfeed article

How dare you.
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weapon_d00d816 posted...

This sounds like a Buzzfeed article

Dayum son
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Amazing topic.
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Tmk posted...

Made adjustments to Black People

uhh....
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He still needs to patch out permadeath.
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So when does the North Korea Nuclear War event end? The devs are capitalizing on the old Cold War event everyone loved, but the magic's not there. Just get on with something else already.
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lilORANG posted...

Tmk posted...

Made adjustments to Black People

uhh....

I feel like people who don't follow From Software games and pay attention to the patchnotes may take that the wrong way.

It's meant to be a joke about how, in a video game sense, there are people who complain that they are disadvantaged in society, and then there's even people who think the opposite, that they have it better than others now, so it's like people crying for a buff, and then other people crying for a nerf. And then a patch comes out and it just says "made adjustments" to the controversial subject and everyone has to be like, "...well WHAT adjustments?!"

From Software's patchnotes are really painfully vague sometimes. <_< That's happened before with stuff in Dark Souls because sometimes there's a weapon or spell some people say is OP and some say needs a buff, then a patch "makes adjustments to it" and we the player have to wander blindly testing it to figure out what was even changed.
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Lonestar2000 posted...

He still needs to patch out permadeath.

xDddd
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Great topic.
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He still needs to fix that stupid ass glitch where Jesus won't respawn properly.
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RchHomieQuanChi posted...

He still needs to fix that stupid ass glitch where Jesus won't respawn properly.

Xmfd

These are the threads I come here for
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Pls nerf my libido, it's crippling and leads to poor decisions.
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