Current Events > TIFU by giving prisoners tobacco

(+) Yeah! (+)

So it's a normal morning. I'm sitting on my front porch, smoking Newports and watching Youtube. When ALL OF A SUDDEN, a group of 25 state prisoners come walking through the yard picking up trash! (I live in the middle of nowhere, mind you, so this was a huge surprise.) It was a catch 22, cause by the time I looked up from my phone, they were already swarming likes bees. I was smoking one, and I had the pack right next to me. These were Newport 100's, mind you, which are GOLD in prison. They sell for 5 bucks EACH! Well, they all started asking me for some, they wanted them bad. In the heat of the moment, I panicked, and walked up to them and gave them 3 cigs. They said to just throw them on the ground, so I did. The prison guard was in the back of them and I asked if "your man was going to be straight" meaning that he wouldn't trip. They said he would be fine, but I still freaked out. He never said anything, but he clearly could see my mailbox so he knows where I live and now I'm freaking out and my anxiety is through the roof because I'm scared they are gonna come take me away for a felony cause I gave contraband to inmates. Maybe it's not that big of a deal but to me it's got my whole world upside down. I just panicked and that's why I did it...


TL;DR - I gave 3 Newports to a group of 25 inmates that came through my yard asking for them and am nervous I am going to prison cause I did it in front of the prison guard who saw my address on my mailbox.
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who gives a fuck if they didn't want you giving them cigarettes they wouldn't have criminals in your space
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Virus731 posted...

who gives a fuck if they didn't want you giving them cigarettes they wouldn't have criminals in your space

This is like one of those instances where trouble literally comes to your front door... It's like how they are now just going to people's houses to find ways to lock more people up in our failed prison system...
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Newport blaming the system instead of himself

Must be a day that ends in 'y'
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Yeah I'm sure they are really fucking interested in chasing you down for a few cigarettes. I'm sure they have nothing better to do with their time than come after you and make an example. I have an idea. Make another cringefest video "rapping" about it, that'll make you feel better.
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I already let them know what's going on here.
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Even if you don't go to prison, wait until they get out, they know right where to go for some free smokes.
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545x39 posted...

Even if you don't go to prison, wait until they get out, they know right where to go for some free smokes.

That's another fleeting thought I have.
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And they know you're a push over now. They'll come in and take take take.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

And they know you're a push over now. They'll come in and take take take.

Well we got plenty guns round here, so that won't be a problem. I wasn't a push over either, I felt bad for the guys. They got it a lot worse than me.
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SWAT team en route
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Are you still planning on moving to the Philipines to marry TC?
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Vyrulisse posted...

Yeah I'm sure they are really fucking interested in chasing you down for a few cigarettes. I'm sure they have nothing better to do with their time than come after you and make an example. I have an idea. Make another cringefest video "rapping" about it, that'll make you feel better.

I make actual video blogs too, son. I rap when I feel like it, ya liberal fool
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They won't do anything. Their guard will have to answer why he didn't stop you and he doesn't really want that
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I was working next to a prison and used to buy cheap cigarettes to bring to work to feed to the yardworkers like they were pigeons
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DarthDemented posted...

They won't do anything. Their guard will have to answer why he didn't stop you and he doesn't really want that

He didn't even say anything to me, I felt like if there was a problem he would have said something, especially after I asked if he would be a problem. There were like 25 of them and 1 of him...
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Trigg3rH4ppy posted...

I was working next to a prison and used to buy cheap cigarettes to bring to work to feed to the yardworkers like they were pigeons

XFD
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thelovefist posted...

Are you still planning on moving to the Philipines to marry TC?

LMAO

DarthDemented posted...

They won't do anything. Their guard will have to answer why he didn't stop you and he doesn't really want that

How can the guard even stop him if they were literally in tc's yard. That guard has about as much authority on his private property as a Walmart greeter.
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Well I'm pretty sure tobacco is banned in most prisons now, so......
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Depending on the prisons cigarettes are a hot commodity and is used as currency in lieu of money
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Trigg3rH4ppy posted...

DarthDemented posted...

They won't do anything. Their guard will have to answer why he didn't stop you and he doesn't really want that

How can the guard even stop him if they were literally in tc's yard. That guard has about as much authority on his private property as a Walmart greeter.

This makes me feel better.
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NewportBox100s posted...

"your man was going to be straight" meaning that he wouldn't trip.

I like how you explain slang with more slang.
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Returning_CEmen posted...

NewportBox100s posted...

"your man was going to be straight" meaning that he wouldn't trip.

I like how you explain slang with more slang.

Lol
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Returning_CEmen posted...

NewportBox100s posted...

"your man was going to be straight" meaning that he wouldn't trip.

I like how you explain slang with more slang.

XFD
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bump this fire
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