Current Events > I am about to tell a woman that her embryo is dead

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MrPeppers
07/08/17 6:19:03 PM
#1:


Wish me luck ;_;
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Back_Stabbath
07/08/17 6:21:24 PM
#2:


but first i must consult CE!
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 6:22:04 PM
#3:


Back_Stabbath posted...
but first i must consult CE!


._.
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WilliamPorygon
07/08/17 6:22:59 PM
#4:


This post seems like it would either be fictional or some kind of patient privacy violation.
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 6:23:31 PM
#5:


WilliamPorygon posted...
This post seems like it would either be fictional or some kind of patient privacy violation.


As long as there are no patient identifiers it's legal to discuss
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KnightofShikari
07/08/17 6:23:37 PM
#6:


you should definitely take some advice from randos on the internet about telling people devastating news

but good luck anyways
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chill02
07/08/17 6:24:13 PM
#7:


@Soviet_Poland
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Leanaunfurled
07/08/17 6:24:43 PM
#8:


I imagine it's part of your job, in which case my condolences, and you'll get used to it.
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DragonPick
07/08/17 6:25:34 PM
#9:


I don't think he's asking for help or advice, it's just a really rough thing to have to tell someone and sometimes letting it out anonymously when normally he wouldn't be able to (confidentiality) can help ease the burden.

Good luck, MrPeppers. I don't envy your position here, but I respect it.
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fire_bolt
07/08/17 6:27:43 PM
#10:


Sorry you gotta deal with this, bro. Comes with the job tho. How much longer do you have on this rotation?
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ZCheveyo
07/08/17 6:36:30 PM
#11:


WilliamPorygon posted...
patient privacy violation

In what way? We know nothing about the patient or the doctor. Even if we knew everything about TC, we would still know nothing about the patient except their embryo is dead.
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Damien747
07/08/17 6:39:35 PM
#12:


CE is the last place you should go for insight on something. Unless you're talking about anime character shaped pillows.
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OleBillyBoy225
07/08/17 6:43:42 PM
#13:


An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?
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K181
07/08/17 6:45:13 PM
#14:


OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNc3_q50I20

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Leanaunfurled
07/08/17 6:46:52 PM
#15:


OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 8:17:36 PM
#16:


So I talked to the attending and he decided that we were going to do another ultrasound and some bloodwork just to have a reference, since the other ultrasounds were taken at an outside facility and they could potentially be wrong for a myriad of reasons. Those ultrasounds that she brought in did not look promising, though; and we're pretty sure it was an embryonal demise but we're playing it safe from a legal perspective.

Thankfully, we didn't have to break any bad news to her, but it was an emotionally intense situation. She kept pleading for us to make sure the baby was alive, and we had to explain to her that we can't really say one way or the other until we follow her for a few days. This woman had tears in her eyes and I started tearing up, but we kept a professional tone throughout the consultation. I was not expecting that today.
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AceAttorneyist
07/08/17 8:19:54 PM
#17:


Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?
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Johnny_Nutcase
07/08/17 8:20:34 PM
#18:


Well you better get used to this kind of shit. You're going to be shattering many of lives with bad news.
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 8:21:10 PM
#19:


AceAttorneyist posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?


Some women get very invested in their pregnancies the moment they find out. Yeah, the overwhelming majority of them could get pregnant again but it's still an emotional time for some women when they find out that they miscarry.
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iron jojo
07/08/17 8:22:01 PM
#20:


MrPeppers posted...
So I talked to the attending and he decided that we were going to do another ultrasound and some bloodwork just to have a reference, since the other ultrasounds were taken at an outside facility and they could potentially be wrong for a myriad of reasons. Those ultrasounds that she brought in did not look promising, though; and we're pretty sure it was an embryonal demise but we're playing it safe from a legal perspective.

Thankfully, we didn't have to break any bad news to her, but it was an emotionally intense situation. She kept pleading for us to make sure the baby was alive, and we had to explain to her that we can't really say one way or the other until we follow her for a few days. This woman had tears in her eyes and I started tearing up, but we kept a professional tone throughout the consultation. I was not expecting that today.

Damn that's brutal. Sorry dude.
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AceAttorneyist
07/08/17 8:23:25 PM
#21:


MrPeppers posted...
AceAttorneyist posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?


Some women get very invested in their pregnancies the moment they find out. Yeah, the overwhelming majority of them could get pregnant again but it's still an emotional time for some women when they find out that they miscarry.


I would never be able to break that news to such an emotionally invested person because I really wouldn't be able to empathize with them. Would probably come off as callous.

If it was a stillbirth, though, that's obviously much different.
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ChromaticAngel
07/08/17 8:24:35 PM
#22:


WilliamPorygon posted...
This post seems like it would either be fictional or some kind of patient privacy violation.


As long as there is no way to identify the patient, it doesn't matter.
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#23
Post #23 was unavailable or deleted.
MrPeppers
07/08/17 8:28:26 PM
#24:


AceAttorneyist posted...

I would never be able to break that news to such an emotionally invested person because I really wouldn't be able to empathize with them. Would probably come off as callous.


We all have our strengths and weaknesses. That's why it's good to recognize them! But yeah I'm going to have to get a little better at keeping composure, and most importantly constantly reminding myself not to plant false hope without sounding bleak.

AssultTank posted...
I know when my cousin miscarried, she was a wreck for a few months afterwards...

I can imagine it not being fun to break the news to a family that the embryo died. :(


My condolences. It makes my heart heavy to hear about people looking forward to their pregnancies and finding out otherwise. I hope she has the opportunity to have more kids!
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#25
Post #25 was unavailable or deleted.
Leanaunfurled
07/08/17 8:33:08 PM
#26:


AceAttorneyist posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?

They can, or most can, but like TC pointed out, it's a very quick and very deep emotional investment with most women. The moment they find out they're carrying, they see the embryo like anyone else sees a living, breathing child and planning for the future. So when that future is cut off before it can even begin, they can be devastated.
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Drpooplol
07/08/17 8:33:46 PM
#27:


MrPeppers posted...
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. That's why it's good to recognize them! But yeah I'm going to have to get a little better at keeping composure, and most importantly constantly reminding myself not to plant false hope without sounding bleak.

Are you actually JD from Scrubs?
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Zembaphobia
07/08/17 8:39:25 PM
#28:


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spikethedevil
07/08/17 8:43:23 PM
#29:


AceAttorneyist posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?


For some people it can be very hard to conceive so loosing it when it could be your only chance would be devestating. @AceAttorneyist
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD
07/08/17 8:45:08 PM
#30:


Lie and say its sleeping.
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spikethedevil
07/08/17 8:50:11 PM
#31:


KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
Lie and say its sleeping.


Read all the posts.
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 8:51:31 PM
#32:


Drpooplol posted...

Are you actually JD from Scrubs?


Haha, I feel like every intern is JD from Scrubs (except ortho)

Zembaphobia posted...
What's your specialty homie?


OB/Gyn

KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
Lie and say its sleeping.


I feel bad but the thought crossed my mind for like a half-second. This was total deferral to the attending physician for guidance though. :-/
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD
07/08/17 8:53:23 PM
#33:


spikethedevil posted...
KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
Lie and say its sleeping.


Read all the posts.

That's a lot of reading to do... Did I miss something important??
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MorbidFaithless
07/08/17 8:55:16 PM
#34:


Never say the word promise to a patient! I learned that from Grey's Anatomy
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Polycosm
07/08/17 8:57:42 PM
#35:


I've been on the receiving end of that news, as a father, several times. No matter how much you try not to get attached too soon, it always sucks and it never gets easier.

On the bright side (not that there is one, really...) at least you're not the doctor that has to perform the D&C, right?
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spikethedevil
07/08/17 8:57:43 PM
#36:


KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
spikethedevil posted...
KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
Lie and say its sleeping.


Read all the posts.

That's a lot of reading to do... Did I miss something important??


He already had the meeting with her.
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Zembaphobia
07/08/17 8:58:24 PM
#37:


sweet. Yea giving bad news is a never comfortable. I'm still in med school but I'm thinkin anesthesiology or emergency med with a fellowship in global health
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MrPeppers
07/08/17 9:00:07 PM
#38:


Zembaphobia posted...
sweet. Yea giving bad news is a never comfortable. I'm still in med school but I'm thinkin anesthesiology or emergency med with a fellowship in global health


Those are both awesome options! I think @Soviet_Poland wants to do anesthesia, too. If you're curious about that, he's the guy to PM.
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Slaya4
07/08/17 9:02:25 PM
#39:


When I was doing phelobotemy there is a blood draw that you have to do when a woman is at risk of having a miscarriage.

I remember I had to do that shot and I had to pretend that everything was ok while they both rubbed on her stomach holding each others hands comforting each other.

I thought it was really messed up that everybody in the hospital knows before the actual people know. I seen them out and about one day and thank goodness everything turned out for the better.
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Sad_Face
07/08/17 9:06:30 PM
#40:


MorbidFaithless posted...
Never say the word promise to a patient! I learned that from Grey's Anatomy


...What legal repercussions are there to be had?
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD
07/08/17 9:11:42 PM
#41:


spikethedevil posted...
KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
spikethedevil posted...
KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...
Lie and say its sleeping.


Read all the posts.

That's a lot of reading to do... Did I miss something important??


He already had the meeting with her.

ahhh gotcha, my bad.
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MorbidFaithless
07/08/17 9:12:53 PM
#42:


Sad_Face posted...
MorbidFaithless posted...
Never say the word promise to a patient! I learned that from Grey's Anatomy


...What legal repercussions are there to be had?

Probably nothing legal but like if you promised a patient's family their family member would live, and then they die, you're gonna look like a real asshole.
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deanshow
07/08/17 9:14:03 PM
#43:


MrPeppers posted...
AceAttorneyist posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
OleBillyBoy225 posted...
An embryo was never anything. What's the problem?

For you? Apparently, there is no problem. Is it really impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize someone looking forward to being a mother would be upset?


Any reason they couldn't just get pregnant again?


Some women get very invested in their pregnancies the moment they find out. Yeah, the overwhelming majority of them could get pregnant again but it's still an emotional time for some women when they find out that they miscarry.

Bro I've been in rooms where people gotta announce those kind of news, it's never fun. The worst experience I had was trying to calm down a family who lost their 9 year old son to a heart defect, it was hard to keep my composure on that one
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Soviet_Poland
07/09/17 12:29:37 AM
#44:


Damn that's rough, sorry man =/

How was your first week as an intern otherwise, DrPeppers?

Zembaphobia posted...
I'm still in med school but I'm thinkin anesthesiology or emergency med with a fellowship in global health


I'm in the same boat (minus the global health) :)

I'm sweating bullets right now because I'm anticipating my Step 1 score to release next week. Finding out I didn't get a score good enough for anesthesia would be the worst news I've had in a while. I don't have reason to think that's the case (based off of my NBME averages), but damn that was a hard exam ;_;

What year are you? U.S. student or otherwise? There's a pretty tight knit community on GameFAQs of med students, residents, nurses, and pharmacists (I'm sure more fields represented too, but just off the top of my head).
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Zembaphobia
07/09/17 2:41:07 AM
#45:


Soviet_Poland posted...
Damn that's rough, sorry man =/

How was your first week as an intern otherwise, DrPeppers?

Zembaphobia posted...
I'm still in med school but I'm thinkin anesthesiology or emergency med with a fellowship in global health


I'm in the same boat (minus the global health) :)

I'm sweating bullets right now because I'm anticipating my Step 1 score to release next week. Finding out I didn't get a score good enough for anesthesia would be the worst news I've had in a while. I don't have reason to think that's the case (based off of my NBME averages), but damn that was a hard exam ;_;

What year are you? U.S. student or otherwise? There's a pretty tight knit community on GameFAQs of med students, residents, nurses, and pharmacists (I'm sure more fields represented too, but just off the top of my head).


Yeah I'm dreading the Step 1 so much. But I'm you'll be fine with Anesthesiology given this data:
LCwX2aJ
I still totally get the post exam anxiety, especially given the importance of the exam. I'm studying at Rush in Chicago, and I'll be starting M2 on the 31st. It's always nice to meet other CEmen in Healthcare!
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