I live with my parents, my sister, and her four kids. The oldest one just "graduated" elementary school (that's the first seven years of school, roughly ages 5-12, for those of you unfamiliar with the US system). I happened to have a coupon for a Buy 2 get 1 Free on preowned games at Gamestop; I thought it would be a good gift to get my nephew a game with that.
His quack doctor wanted him off games for a while, so I held off for about a week. Eventually I saw him playing his DS again, so I asked my dad if it was ok to get him a game now. He hadn't heard anything about the doctor, so he had no opinion. I thought, alright, he's back on games now so I'll get him a game.
A little thing about my sister: she can be very controlling regarding her kids. What I had in mind for my nephew was something I didn't necessarily want to clear with her, because... well, she can get bats*** crazy about absolutely anything.
One afternoon, I took my nephew out to McDonald's, bought him a shake, and I had a chat with him about junior high and some of the things people never told me. Afterward, I took him to Gamestop to get him the game. I was disappointed in his selection, but oh well, it didn't cost me anything but a coupon.
I asked him to keep the game a secret. I didn't want his mother finding out I'd taken him out.
What happened next is the problem: apparently, he ratted me out that very day. My mother just told me about it tonight, and while my sister is apparently very composed (for her) about the whole thing, I'm ready for her to go nuts about it.
My mother thinks my nephew acted with integrity and is proud of him. I think he stabbed me in the back in one of those situations where you don't tell your mother something. My mother can't understand why I'm angry about it.
Who's right? Was it right for me to get my nephew the game and ask him not to squeal about it, or was he right for running to Mommy so he could get a pat on the head and play the game, too?
I'm calling the doctor a quack because of some unfounded opinions I have of him. He took away my nephew's videogames in an effort to address some aggression issues in him (ok so far, got to try different stuff), but he completely forgot to have it replaced with something else. He left my nephew without a pretty big pastime and a gaping hole in his schedule, which to me is more "punishment" than "treatment".
Lying to his mother and simply not telling his mother something are two different things. And if he thinks this kind of s*** isn't going to get the crap beaten out of him in middle school... well, he's got some serious pain on the way.
From: Uglyface2 | #015 Lying to his mother and simply not telling his mother something are two different things. And if he thinks this kind of s*** isn't going to get the crap beaten out of him in middle school... well, he's got some serious pain on the way. You took her son out, bought him food, bought him a videogame and then said "Now don't tell your mother". You are literally trying to give him reason to not like her. She should be ripping you a new butthole right now. For having the nerve to say such a thing to him. You were fine up until the point where you told the kid to keep the secret from his mother.
HE'S TWELVE! He's still a child. And you are wrong here.
I was cool enough to hide stuff like that, various cool things they might object to from parents at 12. We're talking almost in middle school/ Junior High.
I'll agree with Uglyface that the kid unfortunately was not quite as cool as he had hoped. Hopefully the youngster cools up sometime.
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
The kid's choice is kind of irrelevant to me. You shouldn't have put him a situation like that. Even if you were trying to do something nice for him, telling him to keep secrets from his mother isn't exactly good behavior.
-- Okay, I rolled a 14. What's that mean? Hsu That you're a cheater. This is a 12-sided die. Chan
The kid's choice is kind of irrelevant to me. You shouldn't have put him a situation like that. Even if you were trying to do something nice for him, telling him to keep secrets from his mother isn't exactly good behavior.
Can't say I relate to you two gents. I guess you didn't have Doom installed on you or your friends PCs in grade school? Well it didn't do anybody harm. ;-)
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
Well, I was anecdotally pointing out when I was a youth things like say having Doom installed on your computer and passing it around, and hiding it from parents, was normal. And a fine thing.
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
Should have gotten him something like Layton or Brain Age and just told the mom about it. "Hey it's a game he can enjoy and it has good educational value. Nothing too violent or overstimulating or whatever people are demonizing games for these days.
Yeah, I'm with Kenshin on this. Lying to your parents is like a necessity of childhood. I can't imagine being that kid and ratting my Uncle out for giving me a gift like that. In any case, he should have objected before accepting the gift.
It's not like I didn't lie or hide stuff from my parents tons of times growing up, but I can't really empathize with someone who tells a kid to hide something from their mom, especially for such a poor reason.
-- Okay, I rolled a 14. What's that mean? Hsu That you're a cheater. This is a 12-sided die. Chan
well, i'm more for just not interfering with other people's families
his discrediting of the doctor as a quack based on "unfounded opinions" doesn't really help his case
i've hidden and continue to hide a lot of things from my parents but i can't honestly say they've all been for the better!
besides, we don't have a clear picture of the situation and just describing one's sister being "bats*** crazy" lends me to believe not everything is being said
whatever, he got caught and it's clear that the kid will be sticking with his mom
I think being honest with your sister should have been the first route. "Hey, I see your son/my nephew is playing video games again, is it OK to buy him a game?" I mean, if the kid's had video games taken away from his due to aggressive tendencies, you should take that into consideration when buying him a present.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the kid deciding to be honest with his mother. Sure, kids often decide to keep secrets but you have no one to blame but yourself for trying to go a deceptive route. You could have been straightforward with her and saved yourself a big headache. Now you're stuck in a situation you could have easily avoided.
-- TheRock ~ Slow dramatic zoom-pan. Doesn't phase the hooded man. "You have issues." - MWC. Pot. Kettle.
I mean, let's be honest: if you gave the kid a Playboy and then told him not to tell his mother, and he ended up telling her, should you really blame the mom?
Also, what game did he pick?
-- TheRock ~ Slow dramatic zoom-pan. Doesn't phase the hooded man. "You have issues." - MWC. Pot. Kettle.
....man, some of you guys forgot what it was like to be a kid already i see. the kid's 12. yes, he's lied to his parents by now, on multiple things. that's normal.
and it's a dick move by the kid. sucks that he ratted on you. to answer the questions: yes, he did stab you in the back and it's right for you to be mad. it wasn't necessarily right for you to get the game. it wasn't right for him to squeal either.
so the lesson of the story is the kid doesn't really like you.
--
"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.
From: Uglyface2 | #015 Lying to his mother and simply not telling his mother something are two different things. And if he thinks this kind of s*** isn't going to get the crap beaten out of him in middle school... well, he's got some serious pain on the way. You took her son out, bought him food, bought him a videogame and then said "Now don't tell your mother". You are literally trying to give him reason to not like her. She should be ripping you a new butthole right now. For having the nerve to say such a thing to him. You were fine up until the point where you told the kid to keep the secret from his mother.
HE'S TWELVE! He's still a child. And you are wrong here.
I lied about s*** to my parents long before I turned 12 and I didn't even have some negative influence encouraging such behavior. Don't really see what the big deal is. You're acting like the dude molested his nephew then told him not to tell. THEN he'd be in the wrong. Here, just seems like the kid is a dumbass but whatever, sister is a crazy person who should be dealt with through the "out-crazy the crazy" maneuver, mother is... well I guess entitled to her opinion, doctor is bad at his job and topic creator should probably just talk to his nephew about what happened. Any flipping out on anyone's part here would be in the wrong imo because it really doesn't seem to me like anything in the scenario is a big deal in any way and it should all just be moved on from after brief casual talks that probably result in something along the lines of "was a misunderstanding." Also, recommend a doctor with head on his neck instead of up his a******
-- I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)
From: ImTheMacheteGuy | #035 I lied about s*** to my parents long before I turned 12 and I didn't even have some negative influence encouraging such behavior This isn't a good thing.
nor is it a bad thing. content determines that, but the mere act of lying is neutral. seriously, kids lie. they do it all the time and to everyone. if you're a year or two away from growing hair on your balls and haven't lied to your parents once, you have a major, major problem.
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"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.
I think it really depends on age. If you're in sixth grade, and a fellow sixth-grader gives you a game, telling on him is a jerk move because you could be getting him in trouble with his mom. But if an adult gives you a game, and you tell on him -- he's an adult. He can deal. It's not like his mom is going to ground him.
So yeah, seconding question about how old Uglyface is.
-- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high
nah. could be wrong, could be right. most likely is neutral because, again, the contents matter. if he was telling him 'hey don't tell your mom that i gave you this penny' then it could be right because who the hell cares or brags about a damn penny. if it's 'hey don't tell your mom about this weed' then it's wrong but not because of the mom-telling, it's wrong because he shouldn't be giving the kid weed. generally, either it's wrong to give to the kid in the first place or not.
the not telling parents doesn't have anything to do with that. people keep secrets, that's fine. normal. kids keep secrets between themselves, that's fine. normal. same for family, which is the case here, and was expected to be cool with the kid. he's not this blank slate if he's 12 or something, he can think for himself by then.
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"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.
oh look another topic where board 8 user #8953 gets themself into a dumb situation due to their complete inability to interact with people in a direct manner and then blames everyone else once they are in that situation they created for themself
psh, it's a jerk move regardless of which. hell, if he's an adult he can get me more games unlike the snobby 12 year old, and he'll prob be more cool about it!
if he gets in trouble he can hang, but until then...
(point is the kid was dumb.)
--
"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.
From: ImTheMacheteGuy | #035 I lied about s*** to my parents long before I turned 12 and I didn't even have some negative influence encouraging such behavior This isn't a good thing.
why? I avoided punishment that would have only led to me acting out in more extreme ways, directly or indirecting hurting them as well as myself further. I was (and basically still am) undiscipilinable if that's a word. I would punch holes in walls and break my toys at as young as 4 (and I don't even remember this. I've heard stories). I was never particularly defiant, I just didn't tolerate being punished and didn't really do things I felt I should be punished for. And if I did something I knew I WOULD be punished for, I made sure it was not found out and would deny if it was. For all the stress I caused my parents over the years, there's countless times more stress that I saved them. It's not like I was dishonest for the sake of being dishonest.
-- I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)