Board 8 > I want opinions on a family matter involving videogames

(+) Yeah! (+)

From: pjbasis | #048
What's with you and these absolute statements regarding a child and it's parent?
Do you think all parents are good?
I wouldn't say it's up to a 12 year old to make that call. Unless the kid is in physical or emotional danger by listening to the parent, the best thing to do is to tell the kid to their face that, yes, their mom is right and then talk to her about it in private later.

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....the kid is 12.
if a 12 year old is thinking mommy and daddy are good and right, that 12 year old has led one hell of a sheltered life. by then he should be well on his way to understanding and reasoning things out. that's a good thing for him to object to. it sucks for the parent since it means more work, but seriously, let the kid grow up. he doesn't need you to hold his hand the whole damn way until his voice cracks.

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"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.

Maybe you don't have younger siblings or don't remember what you were like at that age, but 12 is competent enough to know when listening to your parent is good or bad.

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SuperNiceDog - 1, pjbasis - 0

From: pjbasis | #048
From: SBell0105 | #038

however, encouraging a 12 year old to keep a secret from his mother (regardless of what the secret entails, ImTheMacheteGuy) is wrong.

What's with you and these absolute statements regarding a child and it's parent?
Do you think all parents are good?


a Parent being good or bad has nothing to do with it. The kids Uncle gave the kid a toy knowing that he shouldn't have given the kid said toy or else he wouldn't have told the kid to lie (lying by omission) to his Mother. TC should have known better.

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From: SBell0105 | #054

The kids Uncle gave the kid a toy knowing that he shouldn't have

What are you talking about here?

He very clearly thinks it was the right thing to do, but knew the mother wouldn't agree.

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SuperNiceDog - 1, pjbasis - 0

Why do I get the feeling this wasn't really about video games? It probably went something like this.

Uncle Uglyface: Okay little guy, today I bought you a game. It's called the "Let's touch each other's special areas" game. But don't tell your mother about it.

Uglyface's Nephew: Okay!

<A few hours later>

Uglyface's Nephew: Guess what, mom?

Uglyface's Nephew's Mom (aka, Uglyface's Sister): What?

Uglyface: Uncle Uglyface bought me a new game. It's called "Let's Touch Each Other's Special Areas".

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"One of these days, I'm gonna find a loophole my friend." - Man in Black

Has TC given us any context for why he can't play video games? I do have younger siblings (13 and 14 now) and there are plenty of good reasons to not let them play.

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As a final note, I want to say I have the suspicion TC did this as part of his feud with his sister and her children raising technique, and it was not a good way to go about it.

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SuperNiceDog - 1, pjbasis - 0

From: pjbasis | #055
He very clearly thinks it was the right thing to do, but knew the mother wouldn't agree.
What he thinks in regards to the child means nothing as he is not the childs parent. He knew that his sister would not be happy if he bought her son a specific type of toy but he bought that type of toy anyway.

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I thought this was done, but I guess it isn't.

The game was Star Wars: Episode III on the DS. I was almost so proud of him for picking out Mario Kart DS, but then he changed his mind and went with the licensed crap. Sucks.

People want to know how old I am. I'm 34, she's 42. We live at home because, in my case, I just got employed and need to unbury myself from some debt I accumulated while I was unemployed, and in her case, because she had a messy divorce, doesn't have a job, now goes to school to try to get skills so she can get a job.

People want to know how crazy she can really be. Well, let's look at last year's 8-month period that she had a feud going with me. A few days prior to the start, she tried to get in a physical confrontation with my father. That didn't work because my mother sided with my father. So she started trying to push my buttons, to get me to say anything, and then one day when I started picking up after my niece (because she and her sister and her mother were about to leave), she got nasty again, and called me a troll. I'd reached my breaking point and called her a whore. She went BATS***, charged up the stairs, bellowed at me, and then slapped me in the face. I punched back. She very nearly called 911, until she realized that she started it, so she called my mother instead. Then she started hollering things at me, then she threw a heavy boot at me (which damaged the wall), then she threw a telephone at me (which hit the back of my head), then she spat in my face, hurled some more insults, and as I walked away, she pushed me from behind.

Yeah. She's that kind of person. Why didn't I call the police? Well, who'd be able to sway the two witnesses (her kids) before they arrived? Who'd be able to tell them I swung at her, and deny vehemently that she slapped me first? You know how the law operates. Plus there's my mother, who wants to ignore all of this. Even if nobody got arrested, I had no job and no prospects and nowhere else to go. I didn't want to get thrown out.

Anyway. She proceeded to make me feel as unwelcome in the house as she could for the next eight months, prohibiting her children from interacting with me. See, that's a usual tactic whenever she has a tantrum, her kids are her pawns. It's hard to point out the other, subtler ways she made me uncomfortable, but they were there.

And it went on for eight months. That's the kind of person she is. There are other, smaller blowups, but do you see now why I want to avoid fights with her? She could probably kill me in cold blood and get away with it.

So that's why I wanted him to keep a secret, because I didn't know if she'd blow up like that over me doing something she didn't have absolute control over. I walk on damn eggshells as it is with her around. So much of what I do has to do with what will keep her from flipping out. Park in the street until I'm sure she's done for the night, don't buy food that needs to be refrigerated because she might want the space, just a lot of little things that make living with her unbearable.

Was there anything else you wanted to know? I don't remember.

EDIT: Oh, right, why he couldn't play games.

Some degree of mental illness seems to run in the family. I've got some crazy pills of my own I have to take, and he's been introduced to a cocktail of stuff over the years. They're trying to modify his behavior, and they're trying a lot of different things.

Remember, I wasn't against him not playing games, I was angry because they didn't do anything to fill the gap that taking them away caused. When he was playing games again, I thought it was ok, except that his mother didn't have a stranglehold on me taking him out.

From: Uglyface2 | #060

She proceeded to make me feel as unwelcome in the house as she could for the next eight months, prohibiting her children from interacting with me. See, that's a usual tactic whenever she has a tantrum, her kids are her pawns.

Do you not see how in this situation you did exactly the same thing? You have a problem with her, but instead of resolving it with her directly, you give her son a present you suspected she wouldn't want him to have. You were attempting to get him on your side against his mom. That is literally using him as a pawn.

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SuperNiceDog didn't have to reconcile his name...
But Dauntless Hunter is now MrGreenonion