LogFAQs > #983561633

It is found on the site. Here is the copy and paste:

### The Grand Process of Becoming a Moderator on GameFAQs

I. The Rationale of Selection

Harken, ye who wouldst fain hold dominion oer the great halls of GameFAQs! To become a Moderator of the realm, thou must first prove thyself worthy, not by coin or sword, but through wit and wisdom. 'Tis no light undertaking, for the Moderatorship is a mantle of great responsibility, wherein one doth guide and judge, shield and maintain, amidst the battlements of heated forum discourse.

The first step, dear aspirant, is to submit thyself to the Council of the Noteworthy, a gathering of seasoned veterans who shall deliberate upon thy application. They shall scrutinize thy record upon the forums: art thou a learned scholar of the game? Hast thou shown thyself respectful and noble in all thy dealings? If thy reputation be sullied, thy path shall be blocked, for no Moderator may bear the tarnish of ill conduct.

II. The Ritual of the Trials

Once thou hast been deemed worthy of further consideration, the next stage doth unfold: The Trials of Moderation. These trials shall test thy mettle, not with sword or axe, but with skill in the ancient arts of forum moderation.

1. The Trial of Patience: Thou shalt endure a series of vexatious queries from the peasantrythose simple souls who doth post without thought. Shouldst thou maintain thy composure, replying with wisdom and poise, thou shalt pass this test.
2. The Trial of Discernment: A great volume of posts shall be placed before thee. Some shall be fit for the noble game of discussion, whilst others are foul with the pestilence of spam. Thy task is to discern which must be struck down with the mighty hammer of deletion, and which shall be left untouched.
3. The Trial of Banishment: A dark power lurks within the landthe banhammer. Thou must, under the watchful eye of the Council, banish a soul who hath broken the sacred rules of GameFAQs. But fear not! Thy hand must be just, for the hammer must only fall upon the truly wicked, not upon those who have merely erred in their ways.

III. The Gathering of the Twelve Seals

Shouldst thou pass the Trials, thou must now partake in the Gathering of the Twelve Seals, a sacred assembly whereupon twelve ancient seals shall be placed before thee. Each seal represents a different aspect of the Moderators power, from Might of the Banhammer to Wisdom of the Rules. Thou must choose three seals with great care, for the seals thou dost select shall dictate thy style of moderation. The remaining seals shall be returned to the Council to await the next aspirant.

IV. The Rite of Chess

Alas, just as thou dost think thou hast achieved victory, a new and most perilous test emerges from the shadows: The Rite of Chess. A messenger shall appear before thee bearing an ancient scroll, which contains a challenge not of words, but of strategy. This challenge shall take the form of a game of chessagainst a Sphinx.

This Sphinx, a creature half-human, half-beast, is renowned across all the lands for its mastery of the game. To face it is to face the very essence of riddle and strategy, for the Sphinx doth play not with common sense, but with wits sharp as blades. The rules are simple: Thou must win the game, or answer a riddle so difficult that the gods themselves wouldst quail.

But beware! Shouldst thou lose the match, thy soul is forfeit. The Sphinx shall take it to the depths of the great forum, and thou shalt never again moderate nor post on GameFAQs.

V. The Path of the Unseen

Shouldst thou succeed, the final trial looms. Thou must enter the Hall of Forgotten Threads, a dark and silent place where the oldest posts lie in decay. There, thou must uncover the Sacred Post of the One True Answer. No mortal has ever seen this post, for it is said to exist outside of time, and only those of pure heart and resolute mind can find it.

Thou must search through the threads, pausing only when the air grows thick with uncertainty, for therein lies the answer to the ultimate question: What is the meaning of GameFAQs? The answer may be hidden within a single post, or it may be scattered across many. Once thou hast discovered it, thou must speak aloud the answer, and the Oracle of Forums, an ancient being that watches over GameFAQs, shall pronounce thee worthy.

VI. The Final Challenge: The Dance of the Mods

Ah, but lo, the process doth not yet conclude! In the twilight hours, when all others have departed, thou must face the Dance of the Mods. This is no mere ceremonial jig, mind thee, but a dance of power and prestige, conducted upon the sacred stage of GameFAQs.

The Dance shall be witnessed by all those who have been chosen as Moderators in the past, and thou must outshine them in grace, rhythm, and flair. Only by mastering this waltz shall thou truly embody the spirit of the Moderator, and ascend to thy rightful place among them.

VII. The Reward

Upon completion of these trials, thou shalt be crowned, not with a laurel wreath, but with the Golden Badge of the Moderator. Thine name shall be etched into the annals of GameFAQs forevermore, and thou shalt be granted dominion over the forums, with the power to wield the Banhammer, guide the lost souls, and protect the realm from all who wouldst defile its peace. Furthermore, thine palette shall be blessed with a one-time offering of a succulent lamb, served upon the Forbidden Husk of Grand Elder CJayC, fore his essence shall nourish you forevermore.

And thus, thy journey to Moderatorship is complete, though never shall it end, for as the forums grow and change, so too must thou adapt, ever vigilant in thy role, and ever watchful for the next challenger to rise against thee.