LogFAQs > #979513961

having been on dialysis two times throughout my life due to kidney complications, I can say that the things it does not only to your body but your mental state can really mess a person up, thanks to that treatment which started at 8 years old, I developed a really bad sense of self worth, I was weaker than others so I spent a lot of time by myself being home schooled, by the time I got the first kidney I further withdrew into myself because I didn't understand how people act with one another which only further lowered my sense of self worth which eventually grew into self resentment, apathy and depression, I had stopped taking my medication as directed because of it and the kidney rejected, so back on dialysis I went, while on it I had to continue going to school and working a job and trying to graduate high school, I managed to do all that yet my sense of self worth was in tatters, I hated myself, I hated how dumb I was, it got even worse because my mom also started having problems with her kidneys and yet despite her also doing the treatment she didn't live long enough to get on a list where as my worthless ass did get on a list and get a transplant and to this day that kidney is still with me going strong, my dumb self hating ass was given a third lease on life while someone who truly truly deserved it died for nothing at age 35. Even now I hate myself I'd gladly die back then if it meant she'd get one instead yet despite that loathing, that self hatred, that constant regret whenever I think of this I won't go full despair, I can't, even if my life isn't amazing I'll see it through to it's natural end no matter what.

Dialysis is a temporary measure that's never meant to last more than a few year , hopefully this rather experimental transplant bodes success for the patient and the results and observation can further help people not be on that shit for longer than they should be