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| Topic | Madame Web reviews: "It is the Cats: The Movie of superhero movies" |
| FFDragon 03/15/24 11:07:07 PM #464: | five minutes and (two beers) in and what the literal fuck is up with all these jump cuts into jump zooms I can't do this for two whole human hours this has to be the most CW shit that's made it to the big screen who gets paid for these "retro" blockbuster product placements? "she's not going room temp on my watch" lmao the deadpan poor adam scott, you didn't need to do this, apple has to be throwing money at you It feels like the purposefully chose every take with the least amount of fucks given. not the characters, the actors. everyone seems exasperated to be here. oh my god I just realized this whole thing is giving off and now that we're in 2003 or whatever it's no longer CW... It's the plot portion of a cinemax softcore porn circa 2003! All the bad, none of the good! DID YOU KNOW THIS A [LEGALLY DISTINCT] SPIDER-MAN MOVIE?! stop perpetuating the dangerous giving cats milk stereotype, especially if you're also going to throw bad dialogue into it ahhhhhhh the jump cut zooms are back THEY TOOK MY SPIDURR least sociopathic tinder date they really should not have this many closeups of his mouth if it's going to be that off this is not how CACs work or the NSA works HEY SPIDERMAN STUFF what the hell they roped Emma Roberts into this too? this has been the first real "action" part of the movie and I haven't felt emotion enough to write anything for like 20 minutes Ceiling Guy is kinda a better name than Spider-Man all of this dialogue is so stilted and awkward take me back to the boring action oh god there is still a whole human hour left ...do newspapers get printed and distributed in four hours? this is now the second time ceiling guy has gone out of his way to beat up everyone but the only three people in the world he wants to beat up god this movie wishes it has happy death day so hard is this a taxi or a tank did you say webb?!?! you fuckers "the line" should have been right there in a post 9/11 world how does evil techretary not pick webby up on any airport camera other than "movie" there is no reason for them to all pile in for a hospital trip here WAIT SHE STILL HAS THE TANKXI AFTER COMING BACK FROM PERU DID SHE FUCKING PUT IT IN LONG TERM PARKING what in the dollar store fast and the furious just happened here ceiling guy definitely just did Blue Steel through those flames ah yes, the Pepsi:Cola fireworks building these fucking jump cut zooms again I am viscerally angry about these lmao death by PP what an absolute nothing of a last act oh right chekov's cpr class DID YOU FORGET THIS IS ALMOST SPIDER-MAN?! man it's kind of sad how they really thought they were going to get a second crack at things lmfao that last shot it looks like a spiderman porn parody holy shit that whole movie was a car crash and absolutely nothing was earned HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DRAG THE CRANBERRIES INTO THIS WHAT A FINAL GUT PUNCH --- If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? #theresafreakingghostafterus ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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