LogFAQs > #979021283

- Frog Suit Tier
Great Giana Sisters
Mario's Picross: Picross is this old? I thought it was a 2000s thing. Anyway, contextualizing the logic of picross as Mario being an archeologist searching for stuff isn't a bad idea. But like... there is a very limited amount of picross I feel like playing. I played a game last year, Murder by Numbers, that's just like fifty rounds of picross, and I was ready for it be over like halfway through.
Peach Blossom
Wall Kicks Will Work (Star)
Super Mario Spikers: ... A cancelled volleyball game I've never heard of? Well, okay, that's plausible. Wait, it's a volleyball-wrestling game? And Nintendo rejected it solely because realistic wrestling moves are off-brand for Mario? Am I crazy for thinking that you could easily make unrealistic wrestling moves? Like, Mario grabs someone and throws a fireball at them, or Yoshi grabs someone, eats them, and spits them into the wall? Surely it's not that difficult to make this idea work. That said, I have difficulty connecting volleyball to wrestling, it's difficult to imagine two sports with less in common. I dunno, I guess luge + baseball would be harder to make work. Honestly, I don't feel like we lost much by not actually getting this game.
Lou Albano
Shadow Mario Paint
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Flutter
Toad (Character)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Dong Dong Never Die
Super Princess Peach: This is one of those games that exists, but no one ever thinks about or talks about. Look, man. I said that Peach is the ultimate video game "the Girl," and I meant it, and I was right. You want to talk about harmful stereotypes in gaming, Peach finally gets her own game where she's not a damsel, where she's the hero who needs to rescue Mario (and Luigi and Toad, just to establish that there's no one more competent than her... And yeah, I guess I would say Toad is better at his job than Peach), and the gimmick of the game is just that Peach has to feel emotions really hard to solve problems. Being happy makes you fly, being angry makes you catch fire, being sad makes you produce water that makes plants grow, and being calm makes you find a husband and make a sandwich for him. Like, even in 2005, I was like "does Peach really have nothing you can make a game out of for her, other than that she is a girl?" Like, I'm imagining a more traditional Peach platformer, and you keep the part where Mario and Luigi are kidnapped, and like, you design it around her floating powers, maybe you give her the ability to use power-ups like Mario, I don't know. Someone made a conscious decision to lean into Peach being "the Girl," and this what we got. I do like the ending, where she rescues the boys, then ignores Luigi and Mario takes her into his arms even though she's the one who rescued him. I obviously can't rank Peach's upcoming game, but making it stageplay-themed where she has to dress up in different oufits to gain new powers isn't a bad idea. I wonder if they'll bother explaining why Mario doesn't just solve the problem for her, though. The enemies are grape-themed? What a bizarre idea, that has nothing to do with theaters. I guess because peach vs grapes? I don't really think of those as opposites, though. Oh, because peaches are sweet and grapes can be sour? I GUESS that makes sense, but that is not immediately obvious. Alright, let's check out these costumes... Swordfighter, Detective, Patissiere, Kung Fu, Ninja, Cowgirl, Figure Skater, Thief, Mermaid, Superhero. Yeah, sure, I guess. It does look better than SPP, so I'll give it that.
3-Up Moon
Mario Bros.
Peach
Pauline
Stanley the Bugman
Chill (Dr. Mario Theme)
Green Missile Random Misfires: This is less terrible than Brawl's random tripping, because at least you have control over when you misfire. But I hate using this mechanic. It's not reliable, and having one horizontal recovery and one vertical recovery is very awkward. Yeah, I realize that fits Luigi's awkwardness, but the result of this is that I haven't played him since like Smash 64. Maybe when I'm unlocking stuff or something, I don't remember.
Torpedo Ted
Mario Finale
Monkey! (Dennis Hopper)
"It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!"
Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix
L is Real 2401
WarioWare
King Boo
New Super Mario Bros. (Series)
Grandpa Mario (Serving Tray)
Gooper Blooper
Mario Clash
Mama Luigi
Lakilester
Steak (Boss Fight)
The Beat Goes On: I typed this into google, was surprised to see a Sonny and Cher song, and was like "oh, there must be a Mario cover of this I didn't know about." Imagine my disappointment to learn that this is also the name of a Mario Party 3 minigame. God, the N64's graphics are so ugly. Is this game just a "repeat the buttons pressed by the computer" thing? God, how many of those are there in video gamedom? Almost as basic as sliding image puzzles. Contextualizing it as having to follow the rhythm provided by jungle-dwelling tribal shy guys is really weird, too.
NBA Street V3
Coins (Mario Kart)
Luigi Mario
Mario Paint
Fortune Street
Yoshi's Safari
Mario and Wario (Game): I watched some gameplay of this, and man, I forgot about Mario throwing up the peace sign when he finishes a level. He doesn't still do that, right? It's been a really long time since I can remember him doing that. Don't tell me it's in Galaxy and Odyssey, and I just have brain problems. Anyway, the music in this game is like the worst, most un-Mario stuff ever. Completely generic medieval fantasy-esque music for a lot of it. So, the logic of this game is that Wario was flying a plane over a forest, threw a bucket off of it, and it landed on Mario's head, and a fairy felt bad for him and decided to help guide him? Why can't Mario just remove the bucket? Ugh, anyway, the actual gameplay of having to summon blocks for a blind Mario to walk on isn't bad. But like... I just have zero interest in ever playing this crappy early 90s puzzle game. Luckily, it was never released outside of Japan, so I'll never have to. I'm just going to say, if Nintendo released this today, surely instead of just a dumb bucket, they'd have like Mario's hat be cursed to be really big and get all over his eyes, or something like that, right? Like, having something on Mario's head that's not a red hat is so off-brand that they'd never even think of doing it again. Even Link is allowed to wear other hats, but not Mario. Like, in any other franchise, surely there'd have been at least one joke by now where Mario and Luigi switch costumes, right?
Move Faster, Pokey!
Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition
Racist Mario
Jump Rope Challenge (SMO)
Mario Tennis N64/GBC Transfer Pack Functionality
Wario's Woods
Giga Bowser Punch
Fat Yoshi
Mike Tyson
Thunder Cloud (Mario Kart)
Mario Golf
Personalized Mario 64 Cartridge Theory
LUEshi
Boswer's Clown Car
Super Mario Bros.
Casio Hellburst
Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
Wario's Mario Party 1 and 2 Voice
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)
Yoshi's Cookie
Bowser is Pissed (Theme)
Yoshi (Game)
Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39)
Mario is Missing

- Poison Mushroom Tier
I Am A Teacher: Super Mario no Sweater
Mario Kart Tour
Mario Teaches Typing
Rubberbanding
Super Mario Bros. Special
Doctor Finale
Super Mario Land
Puzzle & Dragons
Bowser's Big Blast
Watch for Rolling Rocks (0.5x A Presses)
Luigi Meeting Himself
Mario Screaming (Video)
Tatanga
Super Hornio Brothers
Daisy Blossom
Toadette
Hand Injuries (Mario Party)
Pink Gold Peach
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Pachinko Game (SMS)
Robirdo
Yakuman DS
Big Bertha x Mario (Mario Comics)
Wendy O. Koopa
Hotel Mario Cutscenes
Petey Piranha
Mario Galaxy 2 Glitch

- Blue Shell Tier
Subspace Dubbed Over
Mario Pissing
Blue Shells just Before the Finish Line
Birdo