LogFAQs > #978963066

- Hammer Suit Tier
Paratroopas
Dire Dire Docks (Theme)
Dr. Goomba Tower
Italians
Chris Pratt
Triple Jump
Super Mario Bros. Movie: It's not art, but it did everything it needed to do. It doesn't fail at anything, even if its only particularly good quality is Jack Black as Bowser. Yeah, you can probably complain that Luigi is barely part of a movie with the word "brothers" in it, and yeah, Peach and Mario have completely different personalities, but I'm gonna let you in on a secret: video game Peach sucks. Even when the characters get to speak, and Bowser kills it and is hilarious, Peach still sucks. And the ending does feel definitive, even if the power-up is sort of unearned in a storytelling way? Because this movie thoroughly entertained a bunch of kids while I was still a teacher, as opposed to the 90s movie which I am certain would not have, I will give it a pretty good rating. I didn't see Wish, the other big animated release of that year, but I bet it's better than it.
SupperMarioBroth
Super Mario Bros.
Isle Delfino: The PS2/GCN era of gaming has a ton of tropical-themed games, I assume because technology had finally reached the point where you could have decent-looking water. Isle Delfino is okay. I kind of like it for being the only Mario game to stay on-theme the entire time. Like, it's just a tropical vacation place. There's no cold mountain zone, there's no lava zone, there's no food zone. Someone actually put effort into making sure all of the levels are places you'd plausibly find on a tropical island: a city, a small village, an amusement park, a hotel, several beaches and bays... It is by far the most effort put into any game to make the setting actually make sense. It is a little strange that these people who presumably rely on a tourism economy have a justice system that's so unfriendly to outsiders, and an airport that only has one runway, but I'll accept it. Like, you might be thinking I dislike Isle Delfino just because I say things like SMS is kind of bad, but I've never complained about the setting itself. All it's missing it like a cruise ship level. Along with the Metro Kingdom, I think people tend to like the 'real city' locations that don't have standard enemies more than Nintendo realizes. And yeah, I also think that Isle Delfino should have been in Odyssey! It was a perfect opportunity that they missed.
Beep Block Skyway
Vivian
Bowser: THE video game villain. If you want to see how to do Bowser wrong, look at King K. Rool. Yeah, I said it. King K. Rool is garbage. Bowser is obviously at his best in the RPGs, where he gets to talk and be silly and slightly insecure, but even when he's in the main games and is silent, he's still good. The only bad Bowser appearance to me is in SMS, and that's widely agreed to be the lamest (though not necessarily worst) mainline Mario game in general, so his crappy final boss fight sort of slides by. Oh, did you want me to analyze Bowser like I did Ganondorf in the Zelda topic? The thing is, Ganondorf has a little more to him as a character, right? Bowser is just a king who wants to fuck Peach. Setting aside the question of species, the best you can really say about Bowser as a complex character (outside of the RPGs) is that he was born to rule and thus probably grew up super entitled, and can't understand or accept that Peach is into short Italian plumbers. I don't pretend to understand her tastes, but I'm not judging them, either. Sometimes he kidnaps someone else, like those fairies in 3D World, but it's always just as a way to gain some kind of power, whereas kidnapping Peach is done for its own sake. I don't even know why he wants Peach, he clearly already hooked up with a lady koopa at least once. I guess this element of Bowser's character, kidnapping Peach, has dialed back over time as Peach became a little more active, but he still captured her in Odyssey, so what do I know. Look, I like Bowser and everything, but if we're taking Bowser as a whole instead of Bowser in the RPGs, he's going moderately high, instead of very high. Worse than Ganondorf, better than King K. Rool and King Dedede.
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Shy Guy
Valentina
Smash 64 Commercial
Pirahna Plant (Smash Bros)
Mysterious (Mario Paint)
Mini-Yoshi (TTYD)
Koopa Bros
Tubular
Staff Roll (Mario Kart 64): Solid. Not the best, but solid. It feels definitive, like the game is over, which is somewhat inappropriate, since Mario Kart is meant to be replayed a thousand times, but okay. You know what this feels like, this feels like the triumphant music you'd hear in a JRPG where you can't lose the fight because you've gotten some kind of enlightenment power that makes you unbeatable.
Fawful
Axem Rangers
Mario Lemieux
Swapping Cartridges
Tanooki Suit
Super Mario Bros Plumbing Commercial: I like the part where the redhead is confused about what she's reading and is a bad actress, and I like the use of the classic drawings of them at the end, and the font. Wow, Mario and Luigi only serve Brooklyn and Queens, huh. I didn't know that. I guess I have a question... This commercial looks like a TV commercial, but do kids... even watch TV commercials anymore? I have to believe most advertising is done on youtube or netflix or something, right? This type of commercial just seems so archaic. And you could argue that that's the point, that Mario is from the 80s, but the lady clearly has a modern-ass smartphone. She also looks more realistically-proportioned than Peach? Very strange. That movie is generally okay. Nothing about it is great, but it never completely blows, either.
Warp Whistle

- Super Mushroom Tier
How Many Super Mario Games Are There? (Video)
Luigi's Up-Taunt
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64)
Super Mario Strikers (2005)
Shellcreeper
Bowser Meets Bowser
Sammer's Kingdom (Theme): I don't know the name of the instrument that's at the start of every "Japanese" theme in every video game ever. The wooden pipe sounding like it's hitting something, you surely know exactly what I mean. That and the guy going OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO are the universally understood sounds of Japan. I watched a British guy playing Civilization on YouTube once, and he said "ah, trumpets, very American," and I was like wtf, do other countries associate us with trumpets? Anyway, this is not as Japanese-y as I expected, and it's not very "100 duels"-y either, so... I dunno. It's fine.
Hide and Seek mods
Bowser Theme (Super Mario World 2)
Mario Quiz Cards
Puzzle Plank Galaxy (Theme)
Bah (NSMB Music)
Mario + Rabbids
Slider (Theme): This isn't the theme I thought it was. The beginning was what I expected, then it went in some other direction. Is this... the Flintstones theme? Is this a fake theme you posted to confuse me? Yeah, you jerk, I googled the actual song and it was what I thought it was, you had me going for a second.
Starman
Donkey Kong (1981)
Wreck-It Ralph
Mushroomy Kingdom