LogFAQs > #978928574

- Super Mushroom Tier
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64)
Super Mario Strikers (2005): Is this the craziest and riskiest thing Mario has done with its aesthetics ever? The only thing I can think of that compares is Paper Mario, but even that somehow seems less radical. The hard lines, the intense expressions, the... everything, really. It's all still recognizably Mario, but there's a crazitude to it that the series otherwise never has. I don't understand why a soccer spinoff of all things became the experiment, because it's not as if Nintendo ever does this with its other spinoffs. Nerd that I was in high school, I remember in 2006 making a fan moveset for Waluigi in Smash that involved his Up-B being based on the 'swimming in air' animation he does in this game. And it really goes to show how much aesthetics matter, because no one remembers or talks about this game for absolutely anything except how they moderately changed the look of the characters. They took precisely one risk, and it's way more memorable than, say, Mario Kart Double Dash, which was surely a million times more popular, yet hardly anyone talks about it anymore.
Shellcreeper
Hide and Seek mods
Bowser Theme (Super Mario World 2): Completely fine.
Puzzle Plank Galaxy (Theme)
Bah (NSMB Music): I had to look this up. I mean, it's fine. It sounds very Mario-y. I definitely get why they used it. Is this really exclusive to NSMB? I feel like it's way older than that.
Starman
Donkey Kong (1981)
Mushroomy Kingdom: The idea of 1-1 being abandoned after years and falling to ruin is--wait a second, when Brawl come out? 2008? When did MGS4 come out? Also 2008? I was going to accuse one of stealing the other's idea, but I guess not. Anyway, this is a fantastic concept for a stage, and if you're going to do deep lore shenanigans with Mario of all things, this is how you should do it. It's almost too clever for Brawl, given some of the terrible ideas in that game. I like how the Smash Wiki has an entire section about tournament legality for every stage, as if fan tournaments have any bearing on the games themselves.
Rainbow Road (Fat Bearded Guy Song)
Gust Garden Galaxy (Theme)
Tonkachi Mario
Talking Flowers
Trials of Death
Dennis Hopper: I always wonder what actors who were in real movies think when they're in genre trash. I remember watching Dracula Untold or whatever that movie's name is, and Charles Dance plays a spooky vampire who looks directly at the camera, and wondering what he's thinking in each moment he's on-screen. Hopper is a completely fine actor, but no one on Earth could have saved his role. He plays--"President" Koopa? God, you can't even get the title of royalty right. It's like the Final Fantasy movie where one of the major characters is "Dr. Sid." That the live action Mario movie exists for real is completely insane. At least he made out better than Raul Julia, poor guy.
Anya Taylor-Joy
I'm a Chuckster
Kublai Khan
Tetris Attack
Toaster
Backwards Long Jump
Mouser: Oh yeah, these things. See, this is what I was talking about with paratroopas. Mouser isn't a koopa with sunglasses or whatever, he's just a mouse who throws bombs at you. If this game wasn't just a reskin of an unrelated game, then Mouser would surely be a big Goomba who spits bombs at you or something like that. That said, Mouser is still just a big mouse who throws bombs and has sunglasses, so he's not going to place very highly. It's strange how the only enemies in that game who stuck around are shy guys of all things. I want to talk more about shy guys now, but since this is limited exclusively to Mouser, I don't know. It's not a very interesting design.

- Frog Suit Tier
Wall Kicks Will Work (Star): Okay, I watched someone getting this star. It is... completely unremarkable? It's kind of neat to go around the back of the stage to a place you otherwise basically never go, it kind of makes things feel secret for a second. A level where you have to use wall kicks to ascend is good, it utilizes an option that many seven year-olds aren't going to be good at, but... I don't know, of all stars, why nominate this one? I don't understand.
Lou Albano
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Dong Dong Never Die: So, this is just a fan game Street Fighter parody that includes Mario, but gameplay-wise, he's just Akuma? Yeah, okay.
Mario Bros.
Pauline: Possibly the most nothing Mario character of them all, and that's saying something. All she's got is that she was in the first game, and she sings the song in Odyssey. It's almost a little weird how rarely she's used, too. The Mario spinoffs always are looking for more characters to throw into things, and Pauline almost never shows up. Most of her appearances are in games where Donkey Kong also appears. I guess she was in Mario Tennis Aces, a game I've never played, and the gacha Mario Kart game. Oh, she's in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe as DLC? I didn't realize. It's like, it's almost kind of interesting that they had so little for Pauline to do, that they made her the mayor of a city. They could've easily said that she was the princess of whatever land, the way they did Daisy, but they instead modeled a fake New York City and made her the mayor for some reason. It's so at odds with the rest of the Mario universe. I guess I could talk about how Pauline establishes a precedent of damsels in distress that video games followed for decades, but I know no one really cares. She's just... the least interesting and memorable human Mario character. A complex asterisk. "Did you know that Peach isn't the girl in Donkey Kong?" That's Pauline's legacy as a character.
Stanley the Bugman
Torpedo Ted
Mario vs Sonic at the Olympic Games
L is Real 2401: Possibly the stupidest video game rumor to get as big as it did. It's too bad the internet ruined video game playground gossip. There'll never be another "Mew is under the truck" ever again, I feel like we lost a bit of the mystery of games now. The text on the statue doesn't even look like "L is real 2401." The Wiki says it says "Eternal Star," but it doesn't even look like that. It just looks like garbled-up super compressed JPEG text.
WarioWare
Grandpa Mario (Serving Tray)
Lakilester
Steak (Boss Fight): I haven't even played Color Splash, but I knew from legend that the boss fights are just real world items modeled into the game, and guessed correctly that this would be one. How lame and bad. "People enjoyed the first three Paper Marios, it must be just because of the paper aesthetic. Remove all other aspects besides that, and replace them with their non-union Mexican equivalents." Looking it up, I see most of the boss fights are actually the Koopalings, gross. See, I wouldn't mind if there was ONE distractingly real-world boss fight with a normal object. If you're fighting all kinds of wacky Mario enemies like a gold Bob-omb or whatever, and then just a watch appears and you have to wail on it while it just sits there being a watch. That could be funny. But that's not what happened. Instead, you have to prepare the steak to be cooked while it attacks you. God, does anyone like the latter two Paper Mario games?
NBA Street V3
Mario Paint
Yoshi's Safari
Racist Mario
Fat Yoshi
Thunder Cloud (Mario Kart)
LUEshi
Casio Hellburst
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)
Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39)